Leadership Thought: A Different Form of Grace from an Unexpected Source

Dear Friend.

What do you think of when you hear the word grace? Many people might think of those words you share around the table, a form of blessing for the meal.

Others might think of the grace that Jesus offers us, the grace that saves sinners like you and me.  

I think of first verse I learned as a believer. “It is by grace you have been saved through faith; it is not of yourselves, it is a gift of God, not because of works lest anyone should boast.” Eph. 2:8-9 

But table grace or saving grace are not the kind of grace of which I am thinking.

I am thinking of another kind of grace, the kind of grace that comes after a bad day, or a poor decision, or some regrettable action that has left us embarrassed and discouraged.  

It comes at just the right time, and it may appear in different forms and expressions- an encouraging phone call, a timely visit,   a loving arm around your shoulder-all which express you have a friend who really loves and cares about you.

However, it recently came to me in a different way. It came  in the form of a thoughtful message that showed up on my desk a few weeks ago.  It wasn’t just scribbled on a piece of paper, but it was carefully typed on a note card, and it came from my fifth-grade granddaughter whose words I will forever treasure.

“Dear Poppy

Thank you so much for the money and the card! You are the best grandpa ever and are so fun to be around! The card was so thoughtful, and every kid loves money so that was great too! Thanks so much!

Love

Reese”

Is there someone you know who might be encouraged by a note like that, a person who needs to hear some grace-filled words of love that they might never forget?

May God help us to always be grace filled Christians

 Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: What Will You and I Learn from Charlie Kirk's Death?

Dear Friends,

Those who witnessed the funeral of Charlie Kirk yesterday witnessed an event they will never forget'

If you watched it, you would recall the powerful and moving testimony of Charlie's wife, Erica, who shared those three powerful words "I forgive him."

Shortly after the service, I received the following test from a friend who also watched the service. He described Charlie this way: "He was a missionary with a noble spirit and a great, great purpose. He did not hate his opponents. He wanted the best for them. "President Trump said, before diverting from his transcript-" "That's where I disagreed with Charlie. I hate my opponent, and I don't want the best for them."

As I thought about those words I thought of a recent comment from a friend I know who was recently struggling with the actions of a family who had severely hurt her. She said to me "I can't help it, but I just feel like hating them for what they did to me."

In the final words of my friend who texted me, he asked. "What would Jesus say?"

We all know the answer. Jesus would say, as he did many times, we are to love our enemies, and we are. to  pray for them and we are to forgive them.

Now I agree that this is no easy task to forgive those we perceive to be our enemies, and that no one knows how they would respond in a similar situation as Erica did in responding in love to her enemy. 

But one thing I do know is that unless you have fully understood and experienced the love Jesus has for us, sinners that we are, a love that would take Him to the cross to die for those sins, he/she has no earthly power great enough to respond in love as Erica did-

Holding on to hate, resentment and bitterness will destroy you. It will eat away at your heart.

As it has been said, "Failing to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."

Unless you and I learn and live out this lesson of Christ's forgiveness, and unless our politicians on both of the aisle learn and live it, we will all be doomed to die of the same poison we drink.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom 

Leadership Thought: A Simple Reminder on Making Friends and Building Relationships

Dear Friends,

John Maxwell tells a wonderful story about making good impressions.

He shares how Jenny Jerome (Winston Churchill’s mother) glided through the loftiest social circles in Great Britain. Once, on consecutive nights, Ms. Jerome dined with England’s premier politicians: Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli and his chief rival, William Gladstone. When questioned about her impressions of the two men, Ms. Jerome made the following observation:

“When I left the dining room after sitting next to Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But when I sat next to Disraeli, I left feeling that I was the cleverest woman.”

Maxwell writes, “Perhaps you know leaders like Gladstone - confident individuals who exude with intelligence, and charisma. Whenever you’re around them, you cannot help but notice their charm… because they make every effort to parade their brilliance in front of you. However, I’ll wager that you’d prefer to follow someone like Disraeli, a leader who would rather draw out the best in you than strut his or her personal greatness.”

In building relationships, it is important to take the focus off yourself and focus it on others.

A while ago I was sitting in church next to a person who I noted was taking extensive notes throughout the message. I didn’t know her name, but after the service I introduced myself and told her how impressed I was with the notes she had been taking throughout the service. I affirmed her and asked when she began the habit of taking sermon notes in church. This led to a rather lengthy conversation and ultimately resulted in my making a new church friendship. Asking relevant questions of a person is an excellent way of engaging them and building a friendship.

The Thirty Second Rule is a good way to start building a new relationship. In the first 30 seconds of meeting someone we should immediately focus our attention on them and not ourselves. We should be looking for ways to make them feel important, remembering your goal is to be impressed, never impressive.

Try to think of something encouraging to say to them. You might compliment them by saying “You have a wonderful smile”, or “you seem to be so comfortable with children”, or I couldn’t help notice how helpful you were to one of my friends.”

I sometimes will imagine that the person I am talking with is wearing a large name tag that cries out "Please help me feel important."

 Someone else suggests putting your mother’s face on the person to whom you are talking  as a way of keeping your comments warm and encouraging.

During the close of the conversation, I sometimes will say to the person, “Do you know what I like about you,” and then specify something that impressed me about them.

The 30 Second Rule is no time for ‘phony baloney.’  You must always make sure your comments and compliments are  honest, genuine, and sincere.

Paul writes to the Corinthians, “We have spoken ‘honestly’ with you, and our hearts are open to you.” 2 Corinthians 6:11 NLB. This is a good reminder of the kind of speech that should mark our communication.

The 30 second rule may seem simple, but I can assure you it will improve your interaction with others.

As Mother Teresa, the Roman Catholic nun and missionary remarked, “Make sure that anyone who comes to you always leaves you happier and healthier.”

Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, shy or outgoing, that’s good advice for all of us to follow.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

                                             Adapted from a previous Leadership Thought

Leadership Thought: Please Read my "Mea Culpa" on Today's Leadership Thought Some of You Received This Morning.

Dear Friends, 

I am embarrassed. I acknowledge no one ever accused me of being  a perfectionist during the many years I have sent out  a daily Leadership Thought. With my dear wife Jean no longer around to be my proofreader and help address my limited computer skills, I sometimes produce messages that don't always look the same to those on the receiving end as they do to me on the sending end.

This morning was a good example. Every Wednesday I meet for breakfast with friends, and today one of them showed me a copy of the Leadership Thought I had just sent out to one of my three group lists. I was shocked by the formatting I viewed with different paragraphs presented in different font sizes.

I confess that my technical computer skills are very limited and while sometimes time and hurry are the culprits of my mistakes, I honestly promise you that I do try hard to insure grammar, spelling, punctuation and yes, formatting mistakes are kept to a minimum. 

In spite of all  this, sometimes the copy I send to each of my three different group lists may look different to you than the original copy I send. Sometimes those errors are due to carelessness, and sometimes haste, and sometimes my limited computer formatting skills. All of this is to say that whenever you receive a Leadership Thought that contains major errors, or unusual formatting, or several different copies of the same message I apologize. I am truly sorry, and I am embarrassed by my inadequacies.

Hopefully, I can continue to improve my overall communication skills and truly learn and practice that well known axiom: "Measure once, cut twice. Measure twice, cut once! 

Yes, I am a flawed work in progress, and for some of you who received today's Leadership Thought on being vulnerable, this is a good object lesson; it's my "mea culpa!”

In closing I promise I will continue to work hard on improving my computer communication skills.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. Not everyone received the flawed copy today

Leadership Thought: Reflections on the Assassination of Charlie Kirk

Dear Friends,

I share below an excellent article by columnist Peggy Noonan on the assassination of Charlie Kirk. I believe it provides an excellent perspective on our current political divide.

During recent national traumas we’ve heard the side argument over “thoughts and prayers.” Something terrible happens, someone sends thoughts and prayers, someone else snaps, “We don’t need your prayers, we need action.” They denounce the phrase only because they don’t understand it and give unwitting offense. (I always hope it is unwitting.) 

Prayer is action. It’s effort. It takes time. Christians believe God is an actual participant in history. He’s here, every day, in the trenches. He didn’t create the universe and disappear into the mist; his creation is an ongoing event; he is here in the world with you. When something terrible happens and you talk to him—that’s what prayer is, talking to him, communicating with concentration—you are actively asking for help, for intercession. “Please help her suffering, help their children, they are so alone.” “Help me be brave through this.”

It’s active, not passive. Catholics, when they’d pray over and over or with friends, used to call it storming heaven. It isn’t a way of dodging responsibility, it is (if you are really doing it and not just publicly posing) a way of taking it. 

So, pray now for America. We are in big trouble.

We all know this. We don’t even know what to do with what we know. But the assassination of Charlie Kirk feels different as an event, like a hinge point, like something that is going to reverberate in new dark ways. It isn’t just another dreadful thing. It carries the ominous sense that we’re at the beginning of something bad. Michael Smerconish said on CNN Thursday afternoon that normally after such an event the temperature goes down a little, but not in this case, and he’s right. There are the heartbroken and the indifferent and they are irreconcilable. X, formerly Twitter, was from the moment of the shooting overrun with anguish and rage: It’s on now. Bluesky, where supposedly gentler folk fled Elon Musk, was gleefully violent: Too bad, live by the gun, die by the gun. 

But what a disaster all this is for the young. Kirk was a presence in the life of a whole generation of young conservatives, and he set a kind of template for how to discuss politics—with good cheer and confidence, with sincerity and a marshaling of facts. He was literally willing to meet people where they are. Mainstream media has understandably presented him as a political person, but he was almost as much an evangelical one, a Christian unembarrassed to talk about his faith’s importance to him. All the young who followed him saw the horrifying video of the moment the bullet hit him. They will remember it all their lives, it will be part of their understanding of politics in America. They will ask: If you are killed for speaking the truth as you see it, are you really free? Is this a free country? 

For young conservatives who have felt cowed or disdained on campus, Kirk’s message was no, don’t be afraid, stand and argue your position. That he was killed literally while doing that—I am not sure we understand the generational trauma there.

The political violence of the 21st century is all they’ve ever known—the shooting of Rep. Gabby Giffords in 2011, of Rep. Steve Scalise in 2017, riots on Capitol Hill on Jan. 6, 2021, the attempted assassination of Justice Brett Kavanaugh in 2022, the attack on Paul Pelosi the same year. 

We like to say that something happened gradually and then suddenly. It’s from Ernest Hemingway’s “The Sun Also Rises”: A character, asked how he went bankrupt, says, “Two ways, gradually and then suddenly.” That’s how political violence in America has been growing in this century. I would say the 2024 assassination attempts on Donald Trump, and now the assassination of Kirk, are the “suddenly” moments. The reality continues while the dark tempo is picking up.

We know this can’t continue and we don’t know how to stop it. That is our predicament. 

For those of us who remember the 1960s and the killing of Medgar Evers, both Kennedys and Martin Luther King, it feels like we’re going through another terrible round of political violence. It’s tempting to think, “That was terrible, but we got through it.” But the assassinations of the 1960s took place in a healthier country, one that respected itself more and was, for all its troubles, more at ease with itself. It had give. Part of why this moment is scary is that we are brittler, and we love each other less, maybe even love ourselves less. We have less respect for our own history, our story, and so that can’t act as the adhesive it once was. The assassinations of the 1960s felt anomalous, unlike us. Now political violence feels like something we do, which is a painful thought. 

What to do? Every suggestion—“lower the temperature,” “don’t be so quick to judge”—seems necessary but insufficient, and may not be doable. There are 330 million of us. It’s hard to hold us together when times are easy. 

It has occurred to me that when a country stops making things like cars and toasters it turns its attention to making words, endlessly, sometimes brilliantly and constructively, often idiotically and offensively. People on social media think the words have to be sharp and dramatic. It sure would be nice to see us throttle back on the expressions and throttle forward on the reflection, at least for a while. 

In the short term, increase security on everyone in our political life and maybe public life. Spend the money, public and private. Violence multiplies, it wants to increase, it imitates itself. Each incident excites the unstable. When it starts to speed up the first thing you have to do is slow it down. 

We have to force our public officials—including judges—to get serious about confining the mentally ill. 

The night before Kirk’s murder a friend sent a note about where we are as a country. His subject was how people in and around politics now will do anything for money—they even write tweets for money. He said that he kept thinking about the Benicio del Toro character, a prosecutor turned assassin, in the 2015 movie “Sicario.” “This is the land of wolves now,” he says. I can’t get it out of my head.

We’re going to have to be strong, not lose our heads, and not give in to demoralization. William F. Buckley used to say, “Despair is a mortal sin.” You wouldn’t feel it if you had faith that God is living through history with you. Hold your hope and faith high and intact, keep your perspective in the long term.

An assassination is the intentional and deliberate killing of a person for political reasons. It has a purpose: to alter events, to remove a leader, to intimidate and punish enemies.

What we all have to do now is not let that purpose succeed.

Leadership Thought: A Cross, Some Tracts and a Lady Standing Outside a Restaurant

Dear Friends,

Recently I was standing outside a restaurant in a town where we have a summer vacation cottage, and I noted a person wearing a cross standing outside the restaurant door. Whenever I see a person wearing a cross, I am often interested in starting up a conversation with them. This is part of the reason a year ago I decided to wear my own cross as it can become an opportunity to start a faith conversation with strangers.

I  asked if she was a believer, and she said yes, and I then asked her if she was waiting for someone. She said "No, I am passing out Bible tracts."

I thanked her for her faithfulness, and as we continued  talking,  she suddenly reached out and handed me a large stack of tracts. She said passing out tracts was her ministry, and she was always looking for opportunities to share her faith by passing out gospel tracts with others.  

Today I received a package of tracts from my friend Brian Rechten, a good friend of mine who now lives in Kentucky.  Brian is one of the most faithful distributers of tracts I know, and he has some amazing stories to tell of how God has used his tract ministry to lead people to faith in Christ. 

Brian not only uses tracts to witness to others, but he also writes and publishes his own tracts, and he makes them available to others for a free will offering.

Included with his tracts was the following note: "Please join me in praying that these tracts end up in the hands of those that need Jesus, or into the hands of those that will use them in the same way. Today, just over 100,000 of my tracts have been published and distributed. May we be a faithful link in the chain of helping others to trust in Jesus."

If you have never had the joy of seeing others come to Christ through your witness, or if for some reason you never felt comfortable sharing your faith, let me encourage you to become  a tract distributer. It is an easy way to introduce people to the saving faith of Jesus Christ.

In the tract he sent me, Brian shares  Five Unbreakable Promises That God Makes to You.

Promise 1: "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."-  John 3:16. 

"You probably have seen this Bible reference before- on signs at football games, posters, or bumper stickers. People do this because they care about you and want you to know this wonderful truth."

Promise 2: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."- 1 John 1: 9. 

"From our first sin up to this very moment, our wrongdoings separate us from God- unless we accept His forgiveness through Jesus Christ."

Promise 3: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; The old has gone, the new has come!"- 2 Corinthians 5:17. 

"What a promise! If you're anything like me, there are things in your past you're not proud of. But in Christ, the slate is wiped clean!"

Promise 4: "Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God"- John 1:12. 

"When you and I receive Jesus, it's not because of anything we've done- but because of what Jesus has done for us. We have to come to him empty and let him fill us."

Promise 5: "In the same way, I tell you there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."- Luke 15:10.

"I love this promise! I can imagine a party in heaven- complete with singing, dancing, and a huge banner with your name on it. The angels will celebrate your decision to follow Christ!"

If you think you might like to begin your own tract ministry, please let me know, and I will be glad to  forward Brian's contact information to you. Who knows how many people might come to Christ because of the tract you leave that waiter or waitress, that car attendant, or salesman or that stranger God might put in your path.

May God bless that lady standing outside that restaurant this summer, for her witness not only encouraged me to continue using tracts to witness to others, but hopefully this message might encourage you to do likewise.

Yours in faith and friendship.

Tom

Leadership Thought: Charlie Kirk: Another Sad and Senseless Killing 

Dear Friends

It’s two thirty in the morning and I can’t sleep. My heart is broken over what is happening in our nation.

Another senseless killing-a political assassination just  because some hate filled person is unable to get along with someone who holds a different political view. When will it stop? When will people come together and honesty, and openly discuss their differences in kind and respectful ways?

Every Wednesday I meet with three friends for breakfast. We are different politically. One is liberal, two are somewhere in the middle, and I am on the right. We pray and give thanks for our food and our friendship. We discuss and debate, we listen and learn, we challenge and  confront, and when breakfast is through, we pay our bill,  get up and leave stronger friends than when we came.

Like many of you, I am sick of the dangerous and hateful political rhetoric that is dividing and destroying friendships. There is nothing good about any conversation that divides friendships and contributes to the destruction of the fabric of our democracy.

There is no place for finger pointing and inflammatory speech among those who claim the name of Jesus us.

What has happened yesterday with the senseless killing of a 31-year-old man with a wife and two young  children all  because someone disagreed with his efforts to bring people together to discuss their political differences.

Regardless of one's political position, there is no place for the kind of hatred that would take another person's life-all because they didn't agree with their political position.

I watched in dismay as one congressional representative suggested verbally praying for Charlie Kirk's family, and she was shouted down. Is there no room for  verbal prayer on the floor of Congress?

I was angered when I watched television clips of some individuals celebrating and glorying in his death?

What in the world is wrong with us as a country? How can we be filled with such hatred?

I implore you as a follower of Jesus to guard your tongue and avoid even the hint of anger in any of your political and social discourse.

Jesus is clear when he teaches that we are to us to "love your enemies and do good. and lend ,expecting nothing in return ,and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for He is kind to the ungrateful and the evil." (Luke 6:35),

Paul writes, "Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another at Christ Jesus forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)

Pastor Chuck Swindoll describes his sister's practical  description of kindness: "Be nice to one another; just be nice. Say nice things to one another."

Years ago, I remember someone wisely teaching "that if you have the choice to be right or kind, always choose to be kind." 

Good advice and let us  pray that we might always heed this admonition.

Yours in faith and friendship, 

Tom

Leadership Thought: How I Dealt with My Summer Spiritual Funk

Dear Friends,

Life has its challenges, and the past several months I've learned this lesson well. A few months ago, I was having some breathing issues while walking my dog, only to discover I had a heart blockage which resulted in the placement of a stent to open one of my arteries providing greater blood flow to my heart.

I contracted a UTI that hospitalized me, but fortunately it was not as severe as the one I suffered a year ago that hospitalized me for a week and which became life threatening when it turned septic.

On top of this in June, I began to experience pain in my hip, only to discover that the hip replacement of 30 years ago had begun to fail requiring the need for another hip replacement.

All of these events, which happened in the span of several months. took its toll on me.

A friend expressed to me that "I was wearing my pain on my face," and I had to admit that I was not dealing very well with all my newly discovered health issues that were beginning to affect my emotional state.

I found myself isolating from friends, and I had to acknowledge that  my hip pain was impacting my efforts to be the kind of person I wanted to be. To put it plainly, I had become self-absorbed with my own issues, and I was not happy with the person I had become.

On top of all this, I noted my devotional life was suffering, and I was not praying and reading my bible the way I knew I should. To put it mildly,  my life was beginning to spiral out of control, and I didn't like what was happening to me.

I knew I had to make some changes to pull me away from my 'woe is me' mentality.

While I had always been able to provide others with help who were going through a similar condition, I couldn't seem to help myself.  I was unable to translate  'knowing what to do,' into 'doing what I know, and I was feeling very guilty about my attitude and actions. I was spiritually stuck in a place I didn't like.

And then one morning I was reminded of a story I had shared many times from the pulpit about a person  who was stuck on the verge of depression. She had been coming week after week to the great psychiatrist Karl Menninger,  and yet she was making no progress in dealing with her condition. After months of counseling, Dr. Menninger, frustrated with his inability to help her, finally said to her as a last resort, "I want you to go across town, find someone in need, and do something to help them." 

She did this and two weeks later she came back to Dr. Menninger a changed woman. All she had needed was an admonition to forget about herself and her own problems and make someone else's problems her own.

Yes, getting back to the discipline of prayer and reading the bible, and church attendance are important, but for me the most important action was thinking about how I could forget about myself and begin thinking about how I could care for others.

I got on the phone and began calling people who I knew would appreciate hearing from me. I began writing letters of encouragement to some friends who were struggling, and  I visited several people who had experienced some personal setbacks, and suddenly my selfish attitude began to dissipate, and I noticed a change in myself, and I discovered I was slowly working myself out of my spiritual funk. 

I am not yet where I want to  be, but I am happy to say that I am no longer stuck in the 'sloth of despond' and I know I am moving in the right direction.

Yes, as Jesus reminds us, our life is meant to be about serving and caring for others, and when we make that our primary goal, we find a life of peace and contentment.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. While I am still on vacation and not writing a daily Leadership Thought, I wondered if there might be someone like me who was going through their own spiritual funk and who might be helped by this message.