Leadership Thought: Are You a Proactive Communicator?

Dear Friends,

Are you a proactive communicator? Do you look for opportunities to connect with people, especially those whom you do not know?

As a church member, do you come to church with the hopes of meeting someone new, and when you see that someone, do you take the first step in introducing yourself to them?  

The chances are slim that a visitor will introduce themselves to you. Most visitors are slow to engage with those around them, and so it is important that you be willing to initiate the conversation.

The key to connecting with people is to be proactive, to be the first one to initiate the conversation. “Hello, my name is Tom. What is yours” or “I don’t think I know you, could you tell me your name?”  

To take the initiative in greeting someone may seem a little awkward or uncomfortable for you if you are on the introverted side, but once you do it a few times you will become more comfortable in initiating that conversation. You will be surprised by how many friends you will make doing this. Relationships must have a beginning, and if you’ll ‘make the first move’ you may discover you are talking to your next best friend.

I have found a helpful way of building on your initial greeting and that is to ask the person, “Tell me your story.” They may look at you rather strangely, perhaps even puzzled, and then I might add. “ I’d love to hear more about you. Tell me what brought you here this morning?” 

I had breakfast with one of my best friends who is a hospice chaplain, and he told me he always seeks to do a “life review” with everyone he visits for the first time. He wants to hear the person share important events or experiences that have shaped and impacted his/her life.  In doing so, he often finds common ground that he and the one visited can build on.

There is a significant story to be learned from everyone you meet, but you may never discover that story unless you take the first step in initiating the conversation.

As Opry Winfrey has said, “everyone has the need to be seen and heard,” and good listeners are adept at connecting with people by exercising good listening skills.

By the way the person I met with for breakfast  I led to Christ almost thirty years ago, largely by asking good questions and then being careful to be a good listener.

‘Hit and run evangelism’ can sometimes work, but more often than not most people come to Christ through relationships, or friendship evangelism, which is built upon extensive conversations with a friend who listens and cares before sharing his/her faith. At least that’s been my experience. What is yours?

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: It Happened on the Beaches of Southern California. Can It Happen Again?

Dear Friends

I came to faith in Christ during the early 60's, but my faith grew the most during the time of the Jesus Movement in the late 60's, a time when I was in seminary. It was an exciting time when the Spirit of God was moving in the hearts of young people on the beaches of Southern California and where it found a home  in Calvary Chapel under the leadership of the late Pastor Chuck Smith. 

I remember singing to the music of Mylon LeFevre, Stryper, Chuck Girard and Love Song, Keith and Melanie Green, Terry Clark and others, and I am forever grateful for this period which birthed in me an even greater love for Jesus.

Recently I happened upon a documentary of this period known as the Jesus Revolution. It was titled "First Love: A Historic Gathering Part 1, and I was so touched  and moved by the music and the witness of those first "Jesus people" that I wanted to share it with you. It was the simple faith and love for Jesus of these spiritually lost young people that gave birth to one of the greatest revivals in our nation.

I encourage you to take a listen. I think you will be inspired as you catch a glimpse of how God used this period to bring thousands of young people to faith in Jesus. Though personal testimonies and heartfelt music, Jesus is lifted up and lives were forever changed by the proclamation of a simple gospel of Christ's redeeming love.

I hope your heart is touched as mine was, and that you too will once again relive this glorious spiritual revolution. My prayer is simple: "Come Jesus come into our heats once again as you  did in the hearts of those young people whose lives were forever changed.

Yours in Faith and Friendship,

Tom

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxvOfr1XnzI

Leadership Thought: Have You Said, "I'm Thankful" yet?

Dear Friend,

Our lives are different because  of 11 men who were committed to share a message that would change the world. 

Down through the years, the wonderful, good news of the gospel has been passed on to those who would then pass it on to others and one day it was passed on y to you,  and you became a beneficiary of that good news. 

Maybe it happened in church, in school, in an office, or like me, at a conference.

As you look back at that special moment, most of you can remember a person(s) who was instrumental in the decision you made.

For me it was a college football player, Chuck Beale. He was a teammate of mine, who had heard the message, and was on fire to share it. It was his enthusiasm and determination to be used by God that resulted in his passing on the message that was passed on to him. And today I am so grateful he did.

You probably have a Chuck in your life-someone who influenced you to follow Jesus. Maybe they were the ones who shared Jesus with you and you accepted Him. Or maybe like me, the person influenced you to explore the faith and you did, and as a result you came to know Jesus.

What happened forever changed your life and mine, and it all began with someone God used to impact and influence your decision to follow Christ.

Jesus called His disciples to go into the world and make disciples, and we are the products of that call. The message those disciples shared with the world is the same message you and I heard and our response to it has changed our lives for all eternity.

So, my question to you this day before Thanksgiving morning is have you ever thanked the one who passed along the message to you? Does that person know your life is different because of his or her words, prayers, or actions?

I hope so. But if you have never taken the time to thank that faithful witness maybe today is the day you should do so.

As you read the words of  “Thank You” by Ray Boltz, I encourage you to think of that person(s) who played a part in your coming to Christ and take a moment to prayerfully thank them and then pick up a pen, or the phone and share a personal thank you with that special person(s) who helped make such a difference in your life.

                   “Thank you for giving to the Lord, I am a life that was changed.

                   “Thank you for giving to the Lord, I am so glad you gave.

                   “One by one, they came as far as the eyes could see,

                   “Each life somehow touched by your generosity.

                   “Little things that you had done, sacrifices made,

                   “Unnoticed on the Earth, in heaven now proclaimed.

                   “Thank you for giving to the Lord, I am a life that was

                     changed.”  

And just as the message was shared with you, may you  commit to sharing and passing it along to others who like you, will say “Thank you, I’m so glad you did.”

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Lessons on Failure from Me and My Friends Jayant and Christophe

"The greatest failure in Your Life is to Be Continually Fearful You Will Make One." Elbert Hubbard 

Dear Friends,

I am good at failure. Don't misunderstand me, I don't like it when I fail, but each time I do, I hope I improve by learning from my failure  

Writing a daily Leadership Thought for these many years,  I have amassed more mistakes than I could ever imagine. I make frequent mistakes in spelling, grammar, alignment- you name it and I have it.

Those mistakes are embarrassing, like a mistake I made yesterday with one of my quotes. It was graciously brought to my attention by a friend who receives my Leadership Thoughts.

He kindly pointed out my mistake in the following grace-filled words written as only he could write   them.

"Good Morning Pastor, Tom, THANK YOU SO MUCH for these words of Wisdom and these Leadership Thoughts

This is wonderful and I always cherish these beautiful words and thoughts.

 Should line number 18 read as " Some people day (say) something and some people have something to say. ?

By the way last week, we had a Malachi Dad's graduation and 54 inmates, and their family members participated.”

I love my brother Jayant who faithfully spent time learning prison ministry with me. If you had seen him at the beginning of this ministry, you would have thought to yourself ‘he is never going to make it.’ By his own admission, he would frequently admit that there were many times he felt like a ministry failure and was ready to quit, and yet week after week he never gave up, and thank God he didn’t for today he  leads one of the largest prison ministries in the state of Texas.

I don’t think It was coincidence that yesterday a missionary friend, Christophe Savage, sent me the devotional below on failure. I hope it will bless you and my friend Jayant as much as it blessed me.

Embracing “Failure”

By Steve Backlund

Let’s reject the lie that says, “If something is hard to do for us, then we can’t do it.” If we fall for this deception, we are determining our future from our past. This faulty thinking is something we cannot take with us in the higher plans and purposes God has for us.  

The opposite of this lie and life-restricting mindset is this: I embrace failure as part of the process of learning to walk in higher levels of living. As I think about this, I remember a big “failure” of mine. In one of our books, we misspelled the word ‘Foreword’ by spelling it ‘FORWARD’. It was at the beginning of the book in a large font. When we edited the book, we didn’t notice this. We only discovered this after ordering a significant number of copies, and then someone came up to me, pointed it out, and said, “I am so sorry.” Upon hearing this, I had a momentary, “Oh no!”, but I ultimately thought, “I am learning to walk in book writing, so I welcome mistakes like this as part of the process.” We were taking steps forward.

To fail is “to fall short of success or achievement in something expected, attempted, desired, or approved.” To succeed is to accomplish what is intended or attempted. We certainly enjoy success more than failure, but long-term successful people learn to like many of the failures they experience because they know, like babies, they must grow into walking in their potential.

What would happen if a baby determined its future from its past? What if they said, “I’ve never walked before, so I am not a walker. And when I tried to walk, it was a struggle, so this proves I do not have the gift of walking. Because if I had the gift of walking, it would not be so difficult to learn to walk.” This sounds ridiculous, but this is how I thought in many different areas of my life. 

Those who succeed most also seem to fail most. Toddlers fall down much more, at first, than they take forward steps in their attempt to be able to walk. Even though this is true, they do not quit or create an identity belief from their apparent failure in walking. They understand they cannot get their identity from their past; they get it from their parents. “I am made in their image. I AM a walker, and I will walk.”

Why do successful people like to fail? It is because they see the manifestation of their flaws as evidence that they are walking in greater things. After all, if a toddler falls down, it means they were standing (because you cannot fall unless you were standing). 

Today, you are breaking free from the perfectionistic mindset, which does not embrace seeming failure as a natural part of growth. 

Yours in Faith and Friendship

Tom

Leadership Thought: An Exercise for Leadership Discussion and Development

Dear Friends,

Several months ago I shared some leadership quotes that I used with my basketball team while I was coaching at Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Over the years I have collected many such leadership quotations, a few of which I share below. Most of these I have sought to commit to memory with the hope that they might consciously or unconsciously impact and influence my leadership. 

I would suggest that leaders meet with their team members and personally discuss them. Participants might select three of their favorites and then express why they picked them. Mutual sharing of  these leadership principles can result in valuable discussions as participants share how they might impact their own personal leadership styles.

Participants should be reminded that wisdom is only wisdom if you use it. 

1. Relationships are forged, not formed. They require time and common experience.

2. If you want to go up, there must be things you must be willing to give up.

3. Everyone wants to feel that he counts for something and is important to someone. Invariably, people will give their love, respect, and attention to the person who fills that need.

4. What happens in you is more important than what happens to you.

5. We can do anything, but we can't do everything. 

6. You cannot push anyone up the ladder unless he is willing to climb himself.

7. Pass credit when the sweat is still on the brow.

8. The best preparation for good work tomorrow is to do good work today.

9. Example is not the main thing in influencing others; it's the only thing.

10. When opportunity comes: it's too late to prepare.

11. Brains are like hearts; They go where they are appreciated.

12. Never take a journey alone; always take someone with you.

13. People do what gets praised.

14. Catch people doing something good and praise them.

15. Treat a man as he appears to be and you will make him worse; But treat a man as if he is already what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be.

16. Everyone wants progress, but they don't want change.

17. Do the most important thing first each day, and you will never have an unproductive day.

18. Some people say something and some people have something to say. 

19. Truth presented as law hardens hearts, but truth presented with grace changes hearts.

20. The heart of the problem is a problem of the heart.

Unfortunately, I did not retain the source of these quotes when recording them.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: How to Become a Trustworthy Person

Dear Friends,

The explorer named Ernest Shackleton set out with 27 men on his crew to cross Antarctica, but before they got very far, their ship that was called Endurance, was trapped in ice and for 10 months they drifted on the frozen seas.   Eventually the ice crushed the ship, and that ship would sink. The men were stranded on shifting ice in subzero temperatures with no rescue in sight for nearly two years.

But here's what's remarkable. Shackleton didn't lose a single man. Not even one. Why? Because his crew trusted him. He ate the same rations they did. He took the worst shifts, and he lived the same way his crew did. When morale was the lowest, he never asked his men to do something that he wasn't willing to do himself. The men didn't follow Shackleton because of his  title, but because of his faithful testimony, one which was built on the foundation of trust. People don’t follow leaders because of a title. They follow a leader because of trust.  And that is always earned in  small and little increments performed day after day.  

Trust develops the way you build your house, one brick at a time. Every time you do something that is honest, every time you do what you say you are going to do, or show up on time, or fulfill a commitment, you  put another brick in the house that will eventually become your home

Being trustworthy is a tremendous responsibility, and one that must constantly be guarded, for it can be lost in a moment by some small failure.

Trust develops over time and building it is one of the most valuable resources a leader can possess.

When someone approaches you to be a part of your team there are three things they will have in mind. “Can you help me?” Will you care for me?” And most importantly, “Can I trust you?” Trustworthiness will become one of a leader's most important assets.

“Many people claim to be loyal, but it is hard to find a trustworthy person.” (Proverbs 20:6)

Jesus taught “That whoever can be trusted with very little can be trusted with much" (Luke 16::10). Today, people want to serve God in obvious and showy ways. But God says you build your trust by doing little, even insignificant things, and doing them faithfully again and again. You do them even when no one is watching you. And God reminds us, "If you are faithful in doing those little things, He will give you greater and greater responsibility."

Do you want people to trust you? You can build that trust by always being  honest, sincere, faithful and reliable.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

 P.S. "The best way you can find out if you can trust a person is to trust him" Ernest Hemingway 

Leadership Thought: What Do You Want Carved on Your Tombstone?

Dear Friends,

“The only thing that walks back with the mourners from the grave and refuses to be buried is the legacy of a man." I don’t know who said this, but years ago I memorized it as a continual reminder that when I leave this earth, I want to leave something of value behind that will outlive me.

Steve Saint, the martyred missionary to the Auca Indians writes, “Your story is the greatest legacy that you will leave to your friends. It’s the longest-lasting legacy you will leave to your heirs.”

I have been thinking a lot more about legacy of late as I watch the sand in my hourglass emptying fast, and when that final grain has passed, what will remain will only be the memory of what I was.

It has been said the power of a person’s life is in the stories they leave behind. What are the stories people will remember when they talk about you? What are the values they extoll and speak about at your funeral?

I think of Bill Roberts, a member of our church who died a number of years ago. I will always remember the terrific bear hug he would give everyone who entered the church. His love for people still permeates through our family of faith.

Throughout our lives other people have shaped and influenced us. We are different because of these people. How will those people be different spirally because they have been around us?

What kind of spiritual impact will you leave behind that will continue to live on in the lives of your children and your grandchildren after you are gone?

“Legacy is not leaving something for people. It’s leaving something in people.” says Peter Strople

John Maxwell talks about a trip that he once took to visit Mother Teresa’s tomb. He says that when he got there, he found out that the room where the tomb was located was being used for a special ceremony.

Maxwell writes, “We could see a group of about 40 to 50 nuns seated, all dressed in a familiar habit that Mother Teresa had worn.”

“What’s going on in there,” I asked a nun passing by.

“She smiled.”

 “Today we are taking 45 new members into our order.” she said. And then she hurried away into another part of the building.

“Mother Teresa was gone, but her legacy was continuing. She had made an impact on the world, and she had developed leaders who were carrying on her vision.”

Whether it’s Bill Roberts or Mother Teresa, every one of us has a mission in life, and that is to make our world a better place in which to live. And we can do that by the spiritual footprints we leave behind, as we continue follow in the footsteps of Jesus.

Your commitment to live for Jesus, and your unwillingness to compromise His values will leave a mark on the hearts of those you leave behind.

Someday people will summarize your life in a single sentence. What would you want that sentence to be?

Why not take a moment to write out that sentence and then commit to doing whatever you can to make it a reality in your life.

A godly legacy is a legacy that lasts.

In closing, I remind you that “A righteous man will be remembered forever.” (Ps 112:6 NIV).

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. "Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing."