Leadership Thought: Reflections on the Assassination of Charlie Kirk

Dear Friends,

I share below an excellent article by columnist Peggy Noonan on the assassination of Charlie Kirk. I believe it provides an excellent perspective on our current political divide.

During recent national traumas we’ve heard the side argument over “thoughts and prayers.” Something terrible happens, someone sends thoughts and prayers, someone else snaps, “We don’t need your prayers, we need action.” They denounce the phrase only because they don’t understand it and give unwitting offense. (I always hope it is unwitting.) 

Prayer is action. It’s effort. It takes time. Christians believe God is an actual participant in history. He’s here, every day, in the trenches. He didn’t create the universe and disappear into the mist; his creation is an ongoing event; he is here in the world with you. When something terrible happens and you talk to him—that’s what prayer is, talking to him, communicating with concentration—you are actively asking for help, for intercession. “Please help her suffering, help their children, they are so alone.” “Help me be brave through this.”

It’s active, not passive. Catholics, when they’d pray over and over or with friends, used to call it storming heaven. It isn’t a way of dodging responsibility, it is (if you are really doing it and not just publicly posing) a way of taking it. 

So, pray now for America. We are in big trouble.

We all know this. We don’t even know what to do with what we know. But the assassination of Charlie Kirk feels different as an event, like a hinge point, like something that is going to reverberate in new dark ways. It isn’t just another dreadful thing. It carries the ominous sense that we’re at the beginning of something bad. Michael Smerconish said on CNN Thursday afternoon that normally after such an event the temperature goes down a little, but not in this case, and he’s right. There are the heartbroken and the indifferent and they are irreconcilable. X, formerly Twitter, was from the moment of the shooting overrun with anguish and rage: It’s on now. Bluesky, where supposedly gentler folk fled Elon Musk, was gleefully violent: Too bad, live by the gun, die by the gun. 

But what a disaster all this is for the young. Kirk was a presence in the life of a whole generation of young conservatives, and he set a kind of template for how to discuss politics—with good cheer and confidence, with sincerity and a marshaling of facts. He was literally willing to meet people where they are. Mainstream media has understandably presented him as a political person, but he was almost as much an evangelical one, a Christian unembarrassed to talk about his faith’s importance to him. All the young who followed him saw the horrifying video of the moment the bullet hit him. They will remember it all their lives, it will be part of their understanding of politics in America. They will ask: If you are killed for speaking the truth as you see it, are you really free? Is this a free country? 

For young conservatives who have felt cowed or disdained on campus, Kirk’s message was no, don’t be afraid, stand and argue your position. That he was killed literally while doing that—I am not sure we understand the generational trauma there.

The political violence of the 21st century is all they’ve ever known—the shooting of Rep. Gabby Giffords in 2011, of Rep. Steve Scalise in 2017, riots on Capitol Hill on Jan. 6, 2021, the attempted assassination of Justice Brett Kavanaugh in 2022, the attack on Paul Pelosi the same year. 

We like to say that something happened gradually and then suddenly. It’s from Ernest Hemingway’s “The Sun Also Rises”: A character, asked how he went bankrupt, says, “Two ways, gradually and then suddenly.” That’s how political violence in America has been growing in this century. I would say the 2024 assassination attempts on Donald Trump, and now the assassination of Kirk, are the “suddenly” moments. The reality continues while the dark tempo is picking up.

We know this can’t continue and we don’t know how to stop it. That is our predicament. 

For those of us who remember the 1960s and the killing of Medgar Evers, both Kennedys and Martin Luther King, it feels like we’re going through another terrible round of political violence. It’s tempting to think, “That was terrible, but we got through it.” But the assassinations of the 1960s took place in a healthier country, one that respected itself more and was, for all its troubles, more at ease with itself. It had give. Part of why this moment is scary is that we are brittler, and we love each other less, maybe even love ourselves less. We have less respect for our own history, our story, and so that can’t act as the adhesive it once was. The assassinations of the 1960s felt anomalous, unlike us. Now political violence feels like something we do, which is a painful thought. 

What to do? Every suggestion—“lower the temperature,” “don’t be so quick to judge”—seems necessary but insufficient, and may not be doable. There are 330 million of us. It’s hard to hold us together when times are easy. 

It has occurred to me that when a country stops making things like cars and toasters it turns its attention to making words, endlessly, sometimes brilliantly and constructively, often idiotically and offensively. People on social media think the words have to be sharp and dramatic. It sure would be nice to see us throttle back on the expressions and throttle forward on the reflection, at least for a while. 

In the short term, increase security on everyone in our political life and maybe public life. Spend the money, public and private. Violence multiplies, it wants to increase, it imitates itself. Each incident excites the unstable. When it starts to speed up the first thing you have to do is slow it down. 

We have to force our public officials—including judges—to get serious about confining the mentally ill. 

The night before Kirk’s murder a friend sent a note about where we are as a country. His subject was how people in and around politics now will do anything for money—they even write tweets for money. He said that he kept thinking about the Benicio del Toro character, a prosecutor turned assassin, in the 2015 movie “Sicario.” “This is the land of wolves now,” he says. I can’t get it out of my head.

We’re going to have to be strong, not lose our heads, and not give in to demoralization. William F. Buckley used to say, “Despair is a mortal sin.” You wouldn’t feel it if you had faith that God is living through history with you. Hold your hope and faith high and intact, keep your perspective in the long term.

An assassination is the intentional and deliberate killing of a person for political reasons. It has a purpose: to alter events, to remove a leader, to intimidate and punish enemies.

What we all have to do now is not let that purpose succeed.

Leadership Thought: A Cross, Some Tracts and a Lady Standing Outside a Restaurant

Dear Friends,

Recently I was standing outside a restaurant in a town where we have a summer vacation cottage, and I noted a person wearing a cross standing outside the restaurant door. Whenever I see a person wearing a cross, I am often interested in starting up a conversation with them. This is part of the reason a year ago I decided to wear my own cross as it can become an opportunity to start a faith conversation with strangers.

I  asked if she was a believer, and she said yes, and I then asked her if she was waiting for someone. She said "No, I am passing out Bible tracts."

I thanked her for her faithfulness, and as we continued  talking,  she suddenly reached out and handed me a large stack of tracts. She said passing out tracts was her ministry, and she was always looking for opportunities to share her faith by passing out gospel tracts with others.  

Today I received a package of tracts from my friend Brian Rechten, a good friend of mine who now lives in Kentucky.  Brian is one of the most faithful distributers of tracts I know, and he has some amazing stories to tell of how God has used his tract ministry to lead people to faith in Christ. 

Brian not only uses tracts to witness to others, but he also writes and publishes his own tracts, and he makes them available to others for a free will offering.

Included with his tracts was the following note: "Please join me in praying that these tracts end up in the hands of those that need Jesus, or into the hands of those that will use them in the same way. Today, just over 100,000 of my tracts have been published and distributed. May we be a faithful link in the chain of helping others to trust in Jesus."

If you have never had the joy of seeing others come to Christ through your witness, or if for some reason you never felt comfortable sharing your faith, let me encourage you to become  a tract distributer. It is an easy way to introduce people to the saving faith of Jesus Christ.

In the tract he sent me, Brian shares  Five Unbreakable Promises That God Makes to You.

Promise 1: "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."-  John 3:16. 

"You probably have seen this Bible reference before- on signs at football games, posters, or bumper stickers. People do this because they care about you and want you to know this wonderful truth."

Promise 2: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."- 1 John 1: 9. 

"From our first sin up to this very moment, our wrongdoings separate us from God- unless we accept His forgiveness through Jesus Christ."

Promise 3: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; The old has gone, the new has come!"- 2 Corinthians 5:17. 

"What a promise! If you're anything like me, there are things in your past you're not proud of. But in Christ, the slate is wiped clean!"

Promise 4: "Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God"- John 1:12. 

"When you and I receive Jesus, it's not because of anything we've done- but because of what Jesus has done for us. We have to come to him empty and let him fill us."

Promise 5: "In the same way, I tell you there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."- Luke 15:10.

"I love this promise! I can imagine a party in heaven- complete with singing, dancing, and a huge banner with your name on it. The angels will celebrate your decision to follow Christ!"

If you think you might like to begin your own tract ministry, please let me know, and I will be glad to  forward Brian's contact information to you. Who knows how many people might come to Christ because of the tract you leave that waiter or waitress, that car attendant, or salesman or that stranger God might put in your path.

May God bless that lady standing outside that restaurant this summer, for her witness not only encouraged me to continue using tracts to witness to others, but hopefully this message might encourage you to do likewise.

Yours in faith and friendship.

Tom

Leadership Thought: Charlie Kirk: Another Sad and Senseless Killing 

Dear Friends

It’s two thirty in the morning and I can’t sleep. My heart is broken over what is happening in our nation.

Another senseless killing-a political assassination just  because some hate filled person is unable to get along with someone who holds a different political view. When will it stop? When will people come together and honesty, and openly discuss their differences in kind and respectful ways?

Every Wednesday I meet with three friends for breakfast. We are different politically. One is liberal, two are somewhere in the middle, and I am on the right. We pray and give thanks for our food and our friendship. We discuss and debate, we listen and learn, we challenge and  confront, and when breakfast is through, we pay our bill,  get up and leave stronger friends than when we came.

Like many of you, I am sick of the dangerous and hateful political rhetoric that is dividing and destroying friendships. There is nothing good about any conversation that divides friendships and contributes to the destruction of the fabric of our democracy.

There is no place for finger pointing and inflammatory speech among those who claim the name of Jesus us.

What has happened yesterday with the senseless killing of a 31-year-old man with a wife and two young  children all  because someone disagreed with his efforts to bring people together to discuss their political differences.

Regardless of one's political position, there is no place for the kind of hatred that would take another person's life-all because they didn't agree with their political position.

I watched in dismay as one congressional representative suggested verbally praying for Charlie Kirk's family, and she was shouted down. Is there no room for  verbal prayer on the floor of Congress?

I was angered when I watched television clips of some individuals celebrating and glorying in his death?

What in the world is wrong with us as a country? How can we be filled with such hatred?

I implore you as a follower of Jesus to guard your tongue and avoid even the hint of anger in any of your political and social discourse.

Jesus is clear when he teaches that we are to us to "love your enemies and do good. and lend ,expecting nothing in return ,and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for He is kind to the ungrateful and the evil." (Luke 6:35),

Paul writes, "Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another at Christ Jesus forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)

Pastor Chuck Swindoll describes his sister's practical  description of kindness: "Be nice to one another; just be nice. Say nice things to one another."

Years ago, I remember someone wisely teaching "that if you have the choice to be right or kind, always choose to be kind." 

Good advice and let us  pray that we might always heed this admonition.

Yours in faith and friendship, 

Tom

Leadership Thought: How I Dealt with My Summer Spiritual Funk

Dear Friends,

Life has its challenges, and the past several months I've learned this lesson well. A few months ago, I was having some breathing issues while walking my dog, only to discover I had a heart blockage which resulted in the placement of a stent to open one of my arteries providing greater blood flow to my heart.

I contracted a UTI that hospitalized me, but fortunately it was not as severe as the one I suffered a year ago that hospitalized me for a week and which became life threatening when it turned septic.

On top of this in June, I began to experience pain in my hip, only to discover that the hip replacement of 30 years ago had begun to fail requiring the need for another hip replacement.

All of these events, which happened in the span of several months. took its toll on me.

A friend expressed to me that "I was wearing my pain on my face," and I had to admit that I was not dealing very well with all my newly discovered health issues that were beginning to affect my emotional state.

I found myself isolating from friends, and I had to acknowledge that  my hip pain was impacting my efforts to be the kind of person I wanted to be. To put it plainly, I had become self-absorbed with my own issues, and I was not happy with the person I had become.

On top of all this, I noted my devotional life was suffering, and I was not praying and reading my bible the way I knew I should. To put it mildly,  my life was beginning to spiral out of control, and I didn't like what was happening to me.

I knew I had to make some changes to pull me away from my 'woe is me' mentality.

While I had always been able to provide others with help who were going through a similar condition, I couldn't seem to help myself.  I was unable to translate  'knowing what to do,' into 'doing what I know, and I was feeling very guilty about my attitude and actions. I was spiritually stuck in a place I didn't like.

And then one morning I was reminded of a story I had shared many times from the pulpit about a person  who was stuck on the verge of depression. She had been coming week after week to the great psychiatrist Karl Menninger,  and yet she was making no progress in dealing with her condition. After months of counseling, Dr. Menninger, frustrated with his inability to help her, finally said to her as a last resort, "I want you to go across town, find someone in need, and do something to help them." 

She did this and two weeks later she came back to Dr. Menninger a changed woman. All she had needed was an admonition to forget about herself and her own problems and make someone else's problems her own.

Yes, getting back to the discipline of prayer and reading the bible, and church attendance are important, but for me the most important action was thinking about how I could forget about myself and begin thinking about how I could care for others.

I got on the phone and began calling people who I knew would appreciate hearing from me. I began writing letters of encouragement to some friends who were struggling, and  I visited several people who had experienced some personal setbacks, and suddenly my selfish attitude began to dissipate, and I noticed a change in myself, and I discovered I was slowly working myself out of my spiritual funk. 

I am not yet where I want to  be, but I am happy to say that I am no longer stuck in the 'sloth of despond' and I know I am moving in the right direction.

Yes, as Jesus reminds us, our life is meant to be about serving and caring for others, and when we make that our primary goal, we find a life of peace and contentment.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. While I am still on vacation and not writing a daily Leadership Thought, I wondered if there might be someone like me who was going through their own spiritual funk and who might be helped by this message.

Leadership Thought: What to Say and Do with a Friend with a Grieving Heart 

Dear Friends,

For over 25 years Grief Share has helped over one million people heal from the pain of grief. 

If you are walking your grief journey, or know of someone who is, I highly recommend this program. Through videos and group discussion those participating have the opportunity to learn how and how not to grieve.

At one of the meetings we discussed how grief can impact one's friendships.

Often friends seeking to aid the one in grief will say or do the wrong thing.

"At least they're not suffering anymore." "They're in a better place, "Time heals all wounds," are all familiar expressions the grieving person may often hear.

Even the most well- meaning friends and family members can say things that may make you feel hurt and angry.

You might be tempted to avoid interacting with such people because they don't understand what you are going through, but it is important to remember that not all people know how to act or what to  say when they are around grieving people.   

 It has been said that one third of your friends will not be helpful, one third will be somewhat helpful and one third will become those whom you will rely and depend upon as you go through grief.

I have found these statistics to be true. Those one third who have been most helpful are those possessing certain characteristics.

They are not afraid to ask how you are doing and really mean it.

They are empathetic and good listeners. They feel your pain and are not uncomfortable dealing with your emotional highs and lows.

They periodically stay in touch and understand that those grieving need to know you care and that you have not forgotten them.

They understand that more than anything else the grieving person wants to talk about their loved one, and they look to provide opportunities for you share your memories about them. 

Those in that last  group have been such a blessing to me. Whether through phone calls, letters, e-mails, or personal visits, they continue to check up on me and show me how much they care.

Through my grief journey, I have learned that even those who would like to comfort you feel uncomfortable doing so, and while they might desire to be of help, they have little  idea what you need or what you are going through.

I've learned that you need patience with such people and not place unrealistic expectations on them.

I've learned to respond with love when they say or do the wrong thing, or when they act like nothing is wrong and seem surprised to discover that while you may seem well on the outside, on the inside your heart is breaking.

Proverbs reminds us to be gracious with such people. "A person's wisdom yield's patience; it is to one's glory to overlook an offense."(Proverbs 19:11)

I've learned to rely on God and upon those friends who do understand, and who do seek ways to show their love and concern.

I have learned that isolation is the worst route the grieving person can take, and good relationships are essential and are needed more than ever. 

“When grief is overwhelming, the most natural tendency is to hide. But once you are willing to look bad in the presence of love, in the presence of somebody who doesn’t back away, that’s going to make a big difference in your life. Shutting yourself off from other people only prolongs the intensity of your pain.” Dr. Larry Crabb.

God’s word reminds us that "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and who has no one to help them up." (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). We truly do need each other.

The next time you want to help someone on their grief journey, and you are not sure what to say or do, just pray and ask God to show you how you might respond. He will guide you and give you the right words and or actions that will help heal the grief wounds born in the heart of your friend.

Yours in faith,

Tom

P.S. Here is a list of things one might want to communicate to someone seeking to care for your wounded heart.

Be a quiet listener and let me talk about my loved one and share memories.

Ignoring one's grief does not make it go away.

If I am sad, let me be sad. Do not try to cheer me up. It’s important for me to feel the emotions I am feeling.

Sometimes it may appear that I am functioning fine and that I am doing well. Understand that outward appearances can be deceiving.

The Bible has countless examples of people experiencing and expressing their grief. Even Jesus wept over the death of his friend. So being spiritual, or having faith, doesn’t mean I won’t deal with sorrow.

Don’t make comments about next year being better or time healing my wounds; My concerns are focused on the here and now.

Understand that I can’t do everything I used to do in the past, but don’t hesitate to invite me to do things anyway.

Let me cry if I need to. You don’t have to say anything- just hand me tissues and be there for me.

Understand that grief can go on for a number of years. There is no established time limit. 

Please, don't make judgments about how long it's taking me to grieve.  

                    Adapted from a previous Leadership Thought

Leadership Thought: Are You a Pro Active Communicator?

The key to connecting with people is to be proactive, to be the first one to initiate the conversation. “Hello, my name is Tom. What is yours?”  or “I don’t think I know you, could you tell me your name?”   

To take the initiative in greeting someone may seem a little awkward or uncomfortable for you if you are on the introverted side, but once you do it a few times you will become more comfortable in initiating that conversation. You will be surprised by how many friends you will make doing this. Relationships must have a beginning, and if you’ll ‘make the first move’ you may discover you are talking to your next best friend.

I have found a helpful way of building on your initial greeting and that is to ask the person, “Tell me your story.” They may look at you rather strangely, perhaps even puzzled, and then I might add. “ I’d love to hear more about you. Tell me what brought you here this morning?”

This morning, I had breakfast with one of my best friends who is a hospice chaplain, and he told me he always seeks to do a “life review” with everyone  he visits for the first time. He wants to hear the person share important events or experiences that have shaped and impacted his/her life.  In doing so, he often finds common ground that he and the one visited can build on.

There is a significant story to be learned from everyone you meet, but you may never discover that story unless you take the first step in initiating the conversation.

As Oprah Winfrey has said, “everyone has the need to be seen and heard,” and good listeners are adept at connecting with people by exercising good listening skills.

By the way the person I rode to breakfast with this morning was a person I led to Christ almost thirty years ago, largely by asking good questions and then being careful to be a good listener.

‘Hit and run evangelism’ can sometimes work, but more often than not most people come to Christ through relationships, or friendship evangelism, which is built upon extensive conversations with a friend who listens and cares before sharing his/her faith. At least that’s been my experience. What is yours?

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Home from the Hospital Too Tired to Write a Leadership Thought But...

Dear Friends,

After ten hours at the Jersey Shore Hospital, I arrived home late last night after experiencing a lengthy heart catheterization. Thanks to the skilled hands of  Dr. Unapati, and the wonderful nurses and staff at the hospital, I am home, exhaustive, but feeling  better after the insertion of a stent that now keeps open an artery that was 80 percent blocked.

I am grateful for all of you who encouraged me with your calls and e-mails, but I am most thankful for those of you who prayed for me during this procedure. 

I woke up extremely tired this morning, so I was especially grateful for the message forwarded to me by a friend and member of our church, who himself recently arrived home from another hospital after suffering a heart related issue. Thank you, Andrew Karycinski, for the message you sent me and which I have used for today's Leadership Thought. I am sorry that I can't give attribution to the writer of the story as none was given in this message that Andrew forwarded to me.

"When 79-year-old George retired, he didn’t buy a golf club or a hammock. He hung a handmade sign in his garage window: “Broken things? Bring ’em here. No charge. Just tea and talk.”

His neighbors in the faded mill town of Maple Grove thought he’d lost it. “Who fixes stuff for free?” grumbled the barber. But George had a reason. His wife, Ruth, had spent decades repairing torn coats and cracked picture frames for anyone who knocked. “Waste is a habit,” she’d say. “Kindness is the cure.” She’d died the year before, and George’s hands itched to mend what she’d left behind.

The first visitor was 8-year-old Mia, dragging a plastic toy truck with a missing wheel. “Dad says we can’t afford a new one,” she mumbled. George rummaged through his toolbox, humming. An hour later, the truck rolled again—this time with a bottle cap for a wheel and a strip of silver duct tape. “Now it’s custom ,” he winked. Mia left smiling, but her mother lingered. “Can you… fix a résumé?” she asked. “I’ve been stuck on the couch since the factory closed.”

By noon, George’s garage buzzed. A widow brought a shattered clock (“My husband wound it every Sunday”). A teen carried a leaky backpack. George fixed them all, but he didn’t work alone. Retired teachers proofread résumés. A former seamstress stitched torn backpacks. Even Mia returned, handing him a jar of jam: “Mom says thanks for the job interview.”

Then came the complaint.

“Unlicensed business,” snapped the city inspector. “You’re violating zoning laws.”

Maple Grove’s mayor, a man with a spreadsheet heart, demanded George shut down. The next morning, 40 townsfolk stood on George’s lawn, holding broken toasters, torn quilts, and protest signs: “Fix the law, not just stuff!” A local reporter filmed a segment: “Is kindness illegal?”

The mayor caved. Sort of.

“If you want to ‘fix’ things, do it downtown,” he said. “Rent the old firehouse. But no guarantees.”

The firehouse became a hive. Volunteers gutted it, painted it sunshine yellow, and dubbed it “Ruth’s Hub.” Plumbers taught plumbing. Teenagers learned to darn socks. A baker swapped muffins for repaired microwaves. The town’s waste dropped by 30%.

But the real magic? Conversations. A lonely widow fixed a lamp while a single dad patched a bike tire. They talked about Ruth. About loss. About hope.

Last week, George found a note in his mailbox. It was from Mia, now 16, interning at a robotics lab. “You taught me to see value in broken things. I’m building a solar-powered prosthetic arm. PS: The truck still runs!”

Today, 12 towns across the state have “Fix-It Hubs.” None charge money. All serve tea.

Funny, isn’t it? How a man with a screwdriver can rebuild a world."

Let this story reach more hearts.

“‘Ah, Lord God! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. There is nothing too hard for You.” Jeremiah 32:17 NKJV.

Thanks again Andrew for sending this to me.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom