Monday, June 22, 2020


Leadership Thought: Changing our Racial Attitudes.

Dear Friends,

I am currently at our summer cottage in northern New York, and last night my children and one of my grandchildren were conversing  about the recent racial unrest in our country. During the conversation we all acknowledged how difficult it is to change our thinking about certain things. We all agreed with the need to look within to see if there was any  racial bias hidden in our hearts. It was encouraging to hear the self-reflection taking place. Until now, most of them admitted they had not thought they harbored any racial bias.  It was only through reading and  talking with others about the issue that they came to discover that they too, needed to make some changes in their way of thinking. 

Several of them shared their frustrations with people they knew who were “so set in their” ways” that they refused to even entertain the need to address  their racial attitudes. It was clear to them that they were right in their thinking, and the racial problem was all about “them” and not “us”. If “they” would change, the problem would all go away.

Changing one’s way of thinking is not always easy, but sometimes it is necessary for one’s survival.   The older I get, the harder it is for me to change. Some of you may know what I am talking about. We resist change. If it is something we have grown up with, something that we are comfortable with, we generally prefer to preserve the status quo. We like routine, the familiar, and we often avoid new challenges because they involve new learning. Someone once wrote the only people that like change are wet babies.

But change is necessary. Without change we stagnate, we shrivel, we won’t survive. We live in a world where we must learn to welcome it, and learn from it, even if we don’t like it.  If we are not willing to change and try new things, the world will pass us by. As one business consultant has written, “we need to accept change even though it may be disruptive. And even if it is uncomfortable or disruptive, you ‘gotta’ do it anyway.” Yes, we are living in an era where, literally, to learn to love change is a matter of survival.

A night watchman on a huge battleship alerted the captain that their ship was headed directly toward a light in the distance. The captain immediately sent the message, “Change your course 10 degrees south.” A few minutes later came the reply, “Change your course 10 degrees north.” Perturbed, the captain signaled back, “I am a captain. Change your course to the south.”  Five minutes later came the reply, “I am seamen first class. Change your course to the north.” Fuming, the captain sent one final message: “I demand you change your course.  I am on a battleship, and I strongly recommend you change your course.   And the response of the seaman was “I am in a lighthouse, and you are heading for a disaster if you don’t change your direction.” You Can’t Steal Second with Your Foot on First, Burke Hedges, pp 31-32.

When Paul and Barnabas visited Antioch, the Gentiles gladly heard the message and their lives were changed. We are told that almost the entire city turned out to hear them preach the word of the Lord, but when the Jewish leaders saw the crowds, they were jealous, so they slandered Paul and argued against whatever he said. When the Gentiles heard that the message of Paul was for them, as well as the Jews, they were glad and thanked the Lord for His message; and all who were appointed to eternal life became believers. So, the Lord’s message spread throughout that region. The Jewish leaders stirred up both the influential religious women and the leaders of the city, and they incited a mob against Paul and Barnabas and ran them out of town.” Acts 13:44;48-50

The Jewish believers refused to accept the truth, for they knew it meant change. Change in their rituals, change in their routines, change in their attitudes and change in their religious way of thinking. When confronted with truth, people often respond the same way. It is easier to resist a new idea than to receive it when receiving it may mean the need to change one’s actions or way of thinking. But when God points to something in our life that needs to change, we had better listen else we run the risk of “pushing the truth so far away that it no longer affects us.” Life Application Study Bible, p 1724

Is there something that you need to change in your life? A habit, a behavior, attitude? Why not do it today. Give it over to the Lord and let him provide you the power to make that change. I can honestly promise you that you will be glad you did. And yes, remember you “cannot become what you need to be by remaining what you are.” Max Dupree quoted from 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork, John Maxwell, p 141.

Yours in faith and friendship,
Pastor Tom

P.S. For those of you who are open to considering a change in attitude, I would encourage you to google Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black man Emmanuel Acho. He has done some very informative interviews with people like Chip and Joanna Gaines and family and Matthew McConaughey

Leadership Thought: Content or Covetous?

Dear Friend,

We have heard that “the grass is always greener on the other side of the street,” and that is often true. But as someone once remarked, "so also is the water bill.” You and I have an awful habit of comparing ourselves and what we have with those who have more.  As a result, we often miss the best God has for us because we fail to appreciate the blessings we already have.

Paul discovered the secret to contentment. He closes out his message to the Philippian church with the words: "I have learned the secret of contentment.” He is saying, no matter what my circumstances may be, whether I live under a bridge or dwell in a penthouse, whether I am rich or poor, I have learned to be content. Paul possessed the secret to contentment.

Unfortunately, in today’s world when we are bombarded by ads of every variety that are always promising comfort and convenience, happiness and contentment, we are tempted to think we will also find that happiness in some product or some service. But these things seldom bring happiness or contentment. Just ask some of the lottery winners whose newfound wealth has brought them nothing but misery and discontentment. 

We are too much like the guy described in the following bit of doggerel:
“As a rule, mans a fool

When it cool, he wants it hot.

And when it’s hot, he wants it cool.

Always wanting what is not.”


Happiness comes from within and not without. If there is a vacuum within your heart, Satan will steal in and convince you that happiness is found in a credit card. However, like cotton candy, our purchases may bring temporary pleasure, but soon after the purchase we want something newer and bigger, which almost always means more money. As someone said, “greed has a growling stomach.”

Paul tells us his secret to contentment in Philippians 4:19, “My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”.

Christ will meet all of our needs, but never all our greed. God wants the best for us, but often we miss that best because we fail to recognize the blessings we already possess.

An ancient Persian legend tells of a wealthy man by the name of Al Haffed, who owned a large farm. One evening a visitor related to him tales of fabulous amounts of diamonds that could be found in other parts of the world, and of the great riches they could bring him. The vision of all this wealth made him feel poor by comparison. So instead of caring for his own prosperous farm, he sold it and went out to find these treasures. But the search proved to be fruitless. Finally, penniless and in despair, he committed suicide by jumping into the sea.

Meanwhile, the man who had purchased his farm noticed one day the glint of an unusual stone in a shallow stream on the property. He reached into the water and, to his amazement, he pulled out a huge diamond. Later when working in his garden, he uncovered many more valuable gems. Poor Al Haffed had spent his life traveling to distant lands seeking jewels, when on the farm he had left behind were all the precious stones his heart could have ever desired.

Security can never be found in a safe deposit box. Jesus has taught us that a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions (Luke 12:15), and He advised his disciples “to lay up treasures for themselves in heaven rather than on earth” (Mt. 6:19f).

Let us never forget that contentment never comes from the accumulation of things, but from the assurance that “God will never leave us or forsake us”, and that’s a promise we can count on.

Yours in faith,
Pastor Tom



Leadership Thought: A Lesson I Learned on the Way Home from the Hospital.

Dear Friends,

We have all heard the words, "little things mean a lot," and  a few months ago, I had the joy of experiencing just how truthful this frequently uttered expression really is. While at Riverview Hospital waiting for the elevator to open, I witnessed a mother and a daughter expressing their concern over the news they had recently received regarding a doctor's prognosis regarding a family member. The daughter had her arms wrapped around her mother trying to console her. As I stepped into the elevator, I realized I had a real opportunity for ministry. As mom and daughter stepped off the elevator, I commented that I had witnessed their tearful embrace before stepping into the elevator, and I wondered if I could pray for them. They were caught off guard, but quickly the daughter commented how much she would appreciate prayer. I asked them how I could pray, and they briefly related the circumstances of their concern. I prayed for them and their loved one and after a warm embrace I headed for the parking lot, but not before they profusely expressed their gratitude for my taking time to pray with them.

My encounter with them lasted less than a few minutes, but during that time I really felt like I was being used by God, as I sought to encourage this grieving mom and daughter. As I later reflected on the experience, I was wonderfully reminded that in God's scheme of things "little things do mean a lot." It took only a few moments to minister to this grieving mother and daughter, and yet in that brief time span, I not only brought hope and encouragement to them, but I experienced the joy of knowing that God had used me to make a small difference in two lives.

All too often we tend to under estimate the value of the small things that we do as His servants, but I often discover that it is in those tiny and seemingly insignificant expressions of love, that God has a way of multiplying their value. A young lad had only a few loaves and fishes to offer Jesus, but from God's perspective when these gifts were placed in the hands of Jesus, those fish and loaves would be greatly multiplied, and they would satisfy the hungry crowd gathered on that Capernaum hillside. Yes, it is true that "little things really do matter" and  "those random acts of kindness" when performed in the spirit of Christ's love have a way of being multiplied in value. 

Someone will often ask me, "Tom, do you remember what you said or did," and when they go on to describe the words or action I will often respond, "no, I don't remember." Then the person will explain how those words or actions impacted their lives, and I am always surprised to learn the impact of those seemingly tiny and insignificant acts of love.
I close with the words of Mother Teresa who said, "Not all of us can do great things but we can do small things with great love."

So let’s be about the business of looking for those opportunities to serve, knowing that even the smallest and most insignificant act of service will be multiplied in value when it is done in His love. 


Yours in faith and friendship,
Pastor Tom

P.S. "If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else."

Leadership Thought: A Question We All Must Answer.

Dear Friends

I have shared my thinking on the racial divide in five separate Leadership Thoughts, but I wanted to provide you with a well written perspective by another, whose words  sum up the message I have sought to communicate.  I hope you will take a minute to read my friend's message, and that, if you haven't already, you will ponder the 9 suggestions I mentioned in my Monday's Leadership Thoughts on actions we can personally take so insure we are no longer a part of the problem,  but a part of the solution to our nation's racial issues.. I would love to hear your thoughts on this message, and what if anything you plan to do to bring healing and hope to those who are marginalized, regardless of their color. The message below  is written by Dave Burchette.

A QUESTION WE MUST ANSWER

"This has been an emotional and difficult week for most Americans. I am old enough to remember a similar period of turmoil in the late ’60’s. It is truly heartbreaking that fifty years later we are still plowing the same fields of prejudice and racism. 

President Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964 into law, with Martin Luther King, Jr., looking on. Johnson had a quote that we hoped would be prophetic. “At times history and fate meet at a single time in a single place to shape a turning point in man’s unending search for freedom.”

Maybe there is still a chance for history and fate to join with the faith of millions of followers of Jesus to shape a turning point in our culture. Maybe the unnecessary deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd will galvanize our collective hearts in a way that can be transformative. Hear out pleas Lord that you will redeem these horrible deaths to bring you Glory and your people together. 

In my lifetime I have never seen such intense introspection among the white community about racism. It feels like God has shown us in this time of isolation, fear, and tragic news how desperately we need to unify in the power of the Spirit. I see more of my white brothers and sisters having substantive conversations without the customary push back and defensiveness. I believe we have a window where God can move in the hearts of millions of His children to make this a moment of change. 

But you can rest assured the enemy will do everything in his power to thwart the moving of God’s Spirit. Satan will distract us with issues that keep us from healing. He will point out the bad behavior of a few so we won’t explore the pain of millions. It is time to move past rationalizations and excuses. It is time to hear the stories of black brothers and sisters without trying to offer our “take”. It is time to listen. It is time to try and feel the pain of rejection our black friends have experienced for no reason other than skin color. It is time to understand why the #black lives matter movement does not mean that only black lives matter. That was never the point. This explanation from Doug Williford puts a helpful context on the phrase.

“If my spouse comes to me in obvious pain and asks, “Do you love me?”, an answer of “I love everyone” would be truthful, but also hurtful and cruel in the moment. If a co-worker comes to me upset and says, “My father just died,” a response of “Everyone’s parents die,” would be truthful, but hurtful and cruel in the moment. So, when a friend speaks up in a time of obvious pain and hurt and says, “Black lives matter,” a response of “All lives matter,” is truthful. But it’s hurtful and cruel in the moment.”
I have also had to wrestle with what white privilege means. As a child of Appalachia, it was hard for me to comprehend what “privilege” I had. I was the first Burchett male to graduate from high school for heaven’s sake. But the phrase doesn’t mean that a white hillbilly like me won’t have challenges. It simply means I start out with an inherent advantage. It is not a statement of condemnation toward whites. It is just a societal fact.


So, let’s affirm to our black brothers and sisters that black lives definitely matter. Let’s acknowledge there is a cultural advantage to being white. Let’s call racism what it is and by its name. Sin. Let’s stop being silent out of fear that we might offend someone. Let’s stand boldly with our black brothers and sisters.

The Apostle John has a hard truth for followers of Jesus.

If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their fellow believers. 1 John 4:20-21

I don’t see a single qualifier about what that believer looks like or acts like. 

We are commanded by Jesus to love one another.

This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. John 15:12

Maybe it is time we understood that is not a helpful suggestion or really cool goal. That is a commandment. And yes, that command is impossible apart from focusing on Jesus. It means jumping headfirst into the fountain of grace. Grace that forgave me and you when we deserved anything but that free gift. 

My fear is that the white community will determine to make a difference and then simply let that conviction slip away when life returns to some semblance of normalcy. I see it all the time. Someone dies and we determine to live more fully. That lasts a few days. Our black brothers and sisters need us to dig in for the long haul. We need to produce action and not hot air. Again, John hits with a hard truth. Truth is revealed by our actions.

Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God. 1 John 3:18-19

The question will not be were you challenged? The question will be were you changed? We are the hands and feet of Jesus and we have a cultural moment to make a difference. Paul has the game plan.

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21

So how will you answer the question? Merely challenged or changed in the power of His grace?"

I hope Dave's words will speak to your heart the way they did to mine.

Yours in faith and friendship,
Tom

Leadership Thought: How Are Your Listening Skills?

Dear Friends,

Who among us has not heard the expression, “God gave us two ears and one mouth, so that we could listen twice as much as we speak”? Unfortunately, while many of us know the truth of this little axiom, there are all too few who practice it.

From time to time, I am reminded of my need to be a better listener, and over the years I have clipped and filed away some stories and quotes on the importance of listening.  I have kept them as a reminder of my need to continue developing my listening skills. I share them with you in hopes that they may be of help and encouragement to you as well.

“There are times when nothing a person can say is so powerful as saying nothing.” Ruth Perry.

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would rather be talking.” Aristotle

“I remind myself every morning that nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So, if I am going to learn, I must do it by listening.” Larry King

“A wise old owl lived in an oak.

The more he saw, the less he spoke.

The less he spoke the more he heard. 

Why can’t we be like that wise old bird?”

And one of my favorites comes from the martyred German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who reminds us that we can discover a neighbor’s needs by becoming better listeners. He writes: “Listening can be a greater service than speaking. Many people are looking for an ear that will listen. They do not find it among Christians, because these Christians are talking when they should be listening.”

“There is a kind of listening with half an ear that presumes already to know what the other person has to say. It is an impatient, inattentive listening that despises the brother and is only waiting for a chance to speak and thus get rid of the other person.”

“Christians have forgotten that the ministry of listening has been committed to them by Him who is Himself the great listener, and whose work they share. We should listen with the ears of God that we may speak the Word of God.”

And finally, from Chuck Swindoll who once found himself with too many commitments in too few days. He got nervous and tense about it. He was snapping at his wife and children, choking down his food at mealtimes, and feeling irritated every time there was an unexpected interruption in his day. He recalls in his book Stress Fractures that before long, things around their home started reflecting the pattern of his hurry-up life. He said the situation was becoming unbearable. Then it happened.

After supper one evening his younger daughter, Colleen wanted to tell him something important that had happened to her at school that day. She began hurriedly, “Daddy, I ‘wanna’ tell you something, and I’ll tell you really fast.”

Suddenly realizing her frustration, Swindoll answered, “Honey, you can tell me - and you don’t have to tell me really fast. Say it slowly.” He has never forgotten her answer: “Then listen slowly.”

The above are all good reminders for us, as we continue to develop our listening skills. Let’s be sure each of us takes the time to listen a little more slowly to the people with whom we interact. Let’s slow our pace down a little. Nothing is too important to keep us from giving our full attention to the person with whom we are speaking. Let’s make them feel important by listening to them. Let’s help them to know that we really do care about them and let’s show them our love by being the best listeners we can be. We need to slow down and listen long enough to hear the real hurts of the people God brings across our path today.

And yes, don’t forget the words of one man who was inspired to pen the words that God wants every one of us to hear and never forget: “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry . . .” (James 1:19)

Have a great day and be a GREAT LISTENER.

Yours in faith and friendship,
Pastor Tom

P.S. I almost forgot to mention the classic words of Abraham Lincoln who was reported to have once said, “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

Leadership thought: What We and the Church Can Do to Be a Part of the Racial Solution and not the Problem.

Dear Friends,

Not again. Another police officer shoots a black man. Yes, I know, he was intoxicated, resisted arrest, grabbed a taser, fired it at the arresting officers as he sought to escape. But I thought to myself, was it right that the arresting officer was charged with homicide?

Last night I listened to Illian Omar, the black Muslim representative from Minnesota embarrass herself as she spoke about the need for a law to abolish all police agencies throughout our land. I confess these preceding events pressed my anger button, but I caught myself before I uttered the words of irritation that were coming to the surface.

The Holy Spirit was reminding me of the words I learned many years ago before deciding what to say in times like this. Is what you are about to say, kind or helpful or necessary, and I had to answer, “No Lord.” “But Lord, isn’t it OK if I just feel them,” and you know His answer, or at least I hope you do. The Lord was saying to me, “stop finding excuses for dealing with the racism lurking within your own heart.”  I wanted to play the blame game which is the easiest game in the world to play, and the only one I know where there are never any winners.

I was once again reminded of Pastor Rick Warren’s comments “Racism is not a skin problem but sin problem.” And then he goes on to say, “It is not about skin, it is about pride.” Ugh! (Taken  from the internet) “Rick Warren Says Racism Is One Thing Stopping Revival in America,” March 6, 2018.

Jesus came to eradicate sin in our lives and if we refuse to look within to uncover and address it, we will continue to see acts of racial violence perpetrated all over our world.

The most logical place for the disease of racism to be treated is in the church and yet sadly, it is the church that often remains one of the most segregated institutions in the world.

We must all recognize that God’s plan is to bring all of us together. If He could accomplish reconciliation between Jew and Gentile overcoming the bitter hatred that each had for one another, then He can certainly bring black and white, brown and yellow, rich and poor, educated and uneducated, urban, suburban or rural folks  together.

Paul reminds us in Eph 2:14 “He is our peace for He has made the two one, and had destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility” (Eph 2:14-16).

The noted pastor and writer John Piper writes, “Racial harmony and unity, and love, and respect cost Jesus His life and not to pursue this racial harmony is to belittle the blood of Christ.”( from the inter net John Piper, Some Strong Words for Those Who Use Theology to Impede Racial Reconciliation, March 30, 2018)

We need to stop looking at those who are to blame. We all are complicit in  some degree for the racism we see. We all need to stop pointing fingers for all the finger pointing in the world  only makes matters worse. We need to stop expecting others to change before we are willing to change ourselves. As Christians we have the spiritual power to change, to return good for evil, love for hate,  humility for our pride.

So, what can we do if we are serious about taking the first steps to ensure we become the solution and not the problem?
What I share are short and simple suggestions that are easy to express but oh so challenging to implement.


1. We must examine ourselves to see if there is any sin of racism within.  Paul exhorts us to,  “ Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you, unless, of course, you fail the test ( 2 Cor. 13:5-6)? We cannot deal with the cure until we recognize the symptoms.

2. We must pray and ask to reveal every  last bit of  the prejudices and biases that might be hidden in our hearts. And once we do this, we need to pray that He erases it.  “Whoever hates his  brother who He has seen, how can he love God whom he hasn’t seen. If someone ways, “I love God, but hates his brother or sister, that person is a liar, for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God whom we cannot see” (1 John 4:20)?

3. We need to engage in dialogue with others who are unlike us. We must be intentional about forging these friendships. We must listen to hear their hurts and be slow to articulate our answers. We need to show empathy and understanding. James reminds us that “We should be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger” (James 1:19).

4. Talk with your church leaders and ask why we don’t have more people of color in our congregations. Ask is there something we can do to be more welcoming? Do not resort to the easy excuse that there aren’t any people of color in our area. Organize a committee to examine how you can do more to make your church more color friendly.

5. Work with other churches or multi-cultural organizations to addresses racism. I heard on a recent podcast of a church outside Kansas City that was going to spend $ 300,000 on a new organ when down the street there was a black church without the money for a new roof they needed. One parishioner suggested that their church tithe the $ 300,000 and give $ 30,000 to the black church, and sadly it got voted down. What a sad indictment on the Christian church.

6. Read books to educate yourself on the history of slavery in our land and become more knowledgeable about hidden history so you might become  more informed regarding the history of racism. A good place to begin would be How the Church Can Take Action Against Racism.

7. Call out people who make cruel jokes and hurtful words against people of color. This may not be easy, but after all who ever said being a disciple would be easy?

8. Become involved in serving with a ministry that largely ministers to  people of color. For many years I have been involved with Aslan ( a ministry New Monmouth used to support), and Love Thy Neighbor that serves the  poor and disadvantaged in the Long Branch and Asbury Park areas. E-mail me if you would like to know more about these ministries, or other ministries in which you might wish to become involved.

9. Get involved in some form of peaceful protest. Yes, be willing, if need be,  to be a “sign board for Jesus.”

10. Be vulnerable and be willing to risk making a difference in the midst of our racial divide. C S. Lewis said,  “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and broken,” but that is OK because Jesus is a heart specialist and he can repair your broken heart.

11. I leave this blank, because I would like for you to add your thought or idea  on what you or I can do to make a difference. Let me know your idea.

I conclude this series of Leadership Thoughts on racial reconciliation with the comments of a Charlottesville pastor, Winn Collier, whose words are a reminder of the challenges before us. "I fear that we might have given up on the transforming power of love. I am talking about a love that goes deep in the bones that if we don’t get to redemption together, then it isn’t redemption. I am talking about a love that sees in every single human a beloved sister or brother, a child, a parent, one who is more than their actions or ideologies, more than their fears. I’m talking about a love that would rather surrender a thousand arguments than dehumanize another beautiful person carrying God’s very breath in their lungs. Perhaps this seems like the zany musings of a dreamer, recklessly naive. So be it. I’m belligerently on the side of love. I’ve thrown my lot in with the dying, forgiving Savior. Surely this transformative love seems a pipe dream. But I remember them saying something similar just before Easter morning." (also taken from Rick Warren’s article quote above).

Yours in faith and friendship,
Tom

Monday, June 15, 2020


Leadership Thought on a : A DIFFICULT CONVERSATION.

Jon Gordan has spoken far more eloquently than I ever could on the racial issue. I think his message is something worth reading by each of us, so I am sending it out to you this morning as a Leadership Thought. I would love to hear what you what you think about the article.



Have a great weekend
Tom

A DIFFICULT CONVERSATION

June 13

by Jon Gordon


I've worked to help numerous leaders and teams become stronger together. A key part of my process and framework includes difficult conversations teams need to have in order to bring issues to the light, resolve conflict, become connected and committed and find a way forward together.

I personally know the benefit of difficult conversations. My wife came to me early in our marriage when I was 31 and told me if I didn't change, she was going to leave me. I listened, I changed and became a better man, husband and father. If you read The Energy Bus, George was based on me.

Seeing how divided our country is right now, it's clear we need to have a difficult conversation about race in America. Instead of being separate teams we need to become one team.

It starts by listening to and understanding those who are frustrated and hurting. This is not just about George Floyd's death. This is about hundreds of years of slavery, systemic racism, prejudice, and inequality in our country that are still very much with us and felt by African Americans daily.

My friend, and head coach of the Los Angeles Clippers, Doc Rivers, has been called countless racial slurs throughout his life. He has been pulled over by the police numerous times for no reason and even had his house burned down. My friend and former Georgia football star Rennie Curran told me how the night before a speaking engagement to an elementary school he was pulled over and had his car searched for no reason. If it happens to college and professional athletes and coaches, imagine how often it happens to other African Americans.

My friend Quentin Williams, who is a former FBI agent and Federal prosecutor, teaches black NBA players a three-step process of what to do when they get pulled over by the police. The fact that there is a need for this type of training should tell us something.

My friend Emmanuel Acho, who I've known since his playing days at the University of Texas and is now an ESPN analyst, told me that African American parents have to have the "talk" with their kids about what it means to be black in America. "You don't get the benefit of the doubt," he said. "In fact, you have to be extra careful so you won't be accused of something you didn't do." Emmanuel told me that whether he's in an elevator, walking down an empty street or getting out of his car in a white friend's neighborhood being black is always in the back of his mind. He must always intentionally make sure that other people know he's not a threat because they look at him like he is.

I've never walked in his shoes or lived in his skin so I can't possibly feel and fathom what it must feel like but by listening to Emmanuel, Doc, Rennie, Quentin, Derwin Gray and other friends I can feel the heaviness in their heart, understand their struggle, hear the frustration behind their words, see the tears that flow when they talk and learn and grow from our conversations. We can all grow if we listen.

Please know that this is not an attack on police officers. My dad was a NYC police officer. You can honor the overwhelming majority of police officers who selflessly risk their lives each day to protect us and also condemn bad cops who commit evil acts. You can also work to create social justice. It's not either or. You can do all three.

This is about being honest and real about our country's flaws so we can get better. This is about addressing the years of prejudice, racism and inequality in our country that still exists today. Let's not hide from it. Ignoring it will not make it go away. Admitting there is a problem, talking abut it, healing it and growing from it is how we all get better.

Quentin Williams and his organization DedicationtoCommunity.org, in addition to helping athletes, also trains police departments how to engage and work with communities while also helping communities work with the police. He brings police departments and communities together to become one team and his program is a model that should be implemented throughout the country.

As a society we must create policies and implement solutions that address these systemic issues. Head start programs are a must. Community gardens in inner cities would provide the fruits, vegetables and nourishment for enhanced health and immune systems. We need to spend a lot more on early education programs than we do on prisons. We must work with families who are struggling and must enact criminal justice reform. Currently a small crime puts you into the system and once you are in the system it's hard to get out. This has led to a mass incarceration of African American men who make up a large majority of the prison system. If you want to learn more about this, I encourage you to watch the 13th documentary on Netflix. It was eye opening for me.

I want to be transparent and tell that this was hard for me to write. It would be a lot easier for me to talk about organizational issues rather than societal issues and not tackle this subject. But then I wouldn't be living up to the leadership books I write. If I can help teams and organizations, I have an obligation to share what I've learned that will hopefully help others have difficult conversations and help our country.

As I write this protests and riots are happening in cities around the country. I know some may want to direct their anger at me for bringing this subject to the light. But let's not take the bait of hate. Let's not let bitterness take root.

The truth is you can be pro law enforcement, believe in the right to protest peacefully while also condemning the rioting, looting and violence that is happening. Again, it's not either or. You can do all three. I support the police. I support social justice initiatives. I support conversations and solutions that will make us all better. I condemn violence of any kind.

If you disagree with any of this let's talk about it and learn and grow together.

Only by having difficult conversations will we become one team working together to create a better future.

-Jon

P.S., The difficult conversations teaching that I share with teams is from my book The Power of a Positive Team.






Leadership Thought. Words from a Black Friend That Made My Heart Hurt.

Dear Friends,

I want to thank those of you who have taken the time to express your reactions to my Leadership Thoughts on racism. They have been encouraging, instructive and informative, and yes, sometimes painful as they force me to look deep within my own heart to discover any vestiges of racism that may exist.

Racial discussions are seldom easy or comfortable, and like political discussions, many friendships have been shattered because of them. This generally happens when those involved are unwilling to listen, learn and try and empathize with what the other person feels.

I am not foolish enough to think that people’s racial views are going to change overnight. Unfortunately, they may never change for change is never easy, and by nature most of us choose to avoid things that are hard.

We have been addressing this issue for 400 years since the first slaves crossed the Atlantic, and sometimes I think that we are not much further along in resolving the issues now than when those slaves first set foot on American shores. The racial divide is deep, and the only way we can bridge this divide is for us to honestly confront our actions, beliefs and behaviors in light of what Jesus calls us to be, brothers and sisters committed to loving each other in the same way he has loved us.

As I shared in response to a recent-mail I received, “Race is such a challenging issue to discuss for no matter what you say or how you say it, you risk offending someone. It is people like you that challenge me to want to think, learn and grow as I seek to confront and examine my own feelings and attitudes. You are right about the subtlety of racism. It is so subtle that people who possess it do not realize it is there because it is so ingrained in their thought process that they don’t think much about it. I confess, I am more guilty of this than I would like to admit.”

I appreciate what my former colleague in ministry Rich Hansen has said as he draws the analogy of racism to the Coronavirus.

 “For some the coronavirus infects major organs of the body and produces virulent symptoms. Get enough infected people together and the virus breaks out-many others get sick and a whole community is impacted”.

“Others carry the virus but without showing any symptoms or ill effects. They are not physically sick but (they) remain part of the system that keeps the virus alive in the community, even without knowing it. I am one of these “silent carriers” of the virus of racism.”

I confess with Rich that at times I also discover active but hidden symptoms of my feelings, attitudes or conclusions about other people that I might consider inferior to me for various reasons.

I close with the words of a black friend I have come to know and love and with whom I have communicated  over breakfasts, in a leadership group, and through frequent  e-mails. I regret to say, however, that most of our time together was spent talking about sports and our children. Unfortunately, I don’t recall once ever asking my black Christian brother, “What’s it like to be a black man living in a predominately white society?”

Let me share part of his long response when at last this question was addressed.

In his e-mail to me he writes. “Far too frequently blacks are targets by the police despite our religious, military, financial, academic and our social class through a lens of guilty until proven innocent. How do I know this? I have been dealing with this my entire life as an African American. This is a REAL concern for black people from my grandparents to my children. Inequality in our great country is so exhausting, but as a good citizen I have been conditioned to smile, brush it off, and continue to strive for excellence despite the overwhelming injustices I have dealt with or what I witness towards black people. Until it is so blatant that we must take a stand, albeit peacefully we must stand and speak out! Unfortunately, even the outcry within the religious community has been woefully lopsided, primarily  from black churches and younger progressive white pastors being boisterous in their disdain for racial injustice.”

“I believe this unbalance is addressed in a warning from Luke, ‘But woe to you Pharisees! For you tithe mint and rue every herb, and neglect justice and the love of
God. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others,” (Luke 11:42).


And he continues with these words: “Riots are distractions by non-protesters, but more likely rebel rousers and opportunists. I say (this) to those of you who CHOOSE to focus on the unproductive acts of the violent protesters and senseless looters by stating these acts of those people overshadow the death or George Floyd and the Black Lives That Matter. To you,  I would say you may need to listen to “The Why” these events occur from Martin Luther King in a message at Stanford in 1967.”

“(Dr. King states) ‘Certain conditions continue to exist in our society, which must be condemned as vigorously as we condemn riots. But in the final analysis, a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it that America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the Negro poor has worsened over the last few years. It has failed to hear that the promise of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice, equality, and humanity.’”

And then my friend concludes with this statement: “For those friends that will critique my message to fit in some narrative that is not intended, let me say that Looting/Rioting is BAD, and SHOULD NEVER happen. Protests ALWAYS SHOULD BE PEACEFUL!!!!!! As Martin Luther King says, ‘A riot is the language of the unheard.’”

I conclude his remarks by quoting Isaiah 1:17 which exhorts us all of us as believers to “Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, and peace to  the widow’s cause.”

What can you and I do about the situation? On Monday I would like to try and tackle this question in the final of my “Leadership Thoughts” on the issue of racism.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Yours in faith and friendship,
Tom




Leadership Thought: Balancing Justice with Mercy in Minneapolis and Here at Home.

Dear Friends

Please! Can we please have some balance? The events that have happened in the last week and a half have left me with a lot of emotions. I have experienced sadness, anger, disillusionment and embarrassment to name just a few of my feelings. I detest what happened to George Floyd. It was a heinous response to a petty crime, and there is no way I could ever condone the actions of those policemen. They were wrong, and they deserve justice. However, to paint all policeman with the broad brush or racism is equally as wrong. To talk about disbanding and defunding the work of law enforcement is also wrong, and in my mind a knee jerk reaction to the tragic events that have taken place.

My hope would be that everyone would take a deep breath, calm down, and try to react to our present situation with some balance and common sense. There are good cops and bad cops, just as there are good people and bad people, so to arrive at the conclusion that we need to get rid of law enforcement makes no sense at all.

We are called as Christians to “submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority” (1 Peter 2:13). However, Scripture also reminds us that when Peter and apostles were confronted by the authorities and told to stop preaching, their response was, “We must obey God and not man”  (Acts 5:29). Both positions are scriptural, and both provide balance for each another. They guide and direct and keep us from going to one extreme or the other. Micah states the same principle  when he says we are “to act justly, (and) love mercy.” The prophet Zechariah echoes these words when he exhorts us to “Execute true justice, show mercy and compassion Everyone to his brother (Zech 7:9).

We cannot balance mercy and justice unless we look at the whole set of circumstances involved. What the policemen did was wrong, no question. But what the violent protesters did to the policeman was wrong, and what they did to their city was wrong.

Christ reminds us “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment” John 7:24. Both sides would be well to keep this truth in mind.

I read an article on the internet titled "Balancing Justice and Mercy." In it the writer comments on the familiar picture we see of Lady Justice. We have seen pictures of her holding a sword in one hand and a balance scale in the other. The sword represents punishment and the balance scale represents fairness in the justice dispensed. If one looks closely at these respective presentations, we discern Lady Justice wearing a blindfold, symbolic of total impartiality in her judgement.

Balance and impartiality are desperately needed today. Whether in government, or law enforcement, or in our own personal, social and political intercourse these days. As believers we must seek these qualities. But we must always do so keeping in mind the words of James who writes “For judgement is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment” (James 2:13)

So, let’s take off our blindfolds of justice and mercy and ask God to give us both balance and impartiality to guide us so that He would be honored and glorified by our responses. 

Yours in faith and friendship,
Tom




Thought for the Day: Let's Be Lifters and Lookers.

Dear Friends
I want to remind you that we can either be the wind beneath someone's wings or the anchor in their boat. Leaders should be both lifters and lookers. We should be Lifters who lighten other's loads and we should be Lookers, always on the lookout for ways to inspire and encourage others.

Mother Teresa once said, "Let no one ever come to you without leaving healthier or happier."   There are far too many people who act like anchors in our boat. They are intent on dragging others down. They possess the attitude that communicates "If I can't be happy, neither should you be happy."

Leaders should be fire lighters, who comes along side of others and help ignite their dreams.  “You can do it,” "I’m with you,” “You can count on me" are some of the words in the vocabulary of the fire lighter.  Every one of us needs firelighters in our lives.  But unfortunately, there are also fire fighters in our lives. These are the people intent on dousing dreams and dampening spirits. The fire fighter pours water on the flames of enthusiasm.  His vocabulary consists of phrases like,  “You can never do it,” “the task is insurmountable,” “you don’t have the resources," "you don’t have the background, or you lack the experience.”  The words of the firefighter will leave you discouraged and  ready to quit.
 
David Mains tells the story of how he and his wife sought to address some behavior issues with their four-year old son Jeremy. He had a habit that they wanted to break, but they were making Iittle progress. They had tried everything until as a final resort they applied physical discipline, spanking. When the conversation was restored, his wife, Karen, asked the chastised little boy, “Jeremy, what are we going to do with you?" Fully contrite, he slowly answered, “Why, don't you just throw me in the garbage.”  " Moody Monthly,", Summer 1982 p. 43.

And you know there are many people in life, who like little Jeremy, feel like they have been thrown into the dumpster.  They don't feel as if anyone cares about them. They feel they are without value, good for nothing except to be cast on the garbage pile.
Several years ago, Anne Murray popularized a song whose lyrics remind me of something we all need:


“I cried a tear, you wiped it dry
I was confused, you cleared my mind
I sold my soul, you bought it back for me
And held me up and gave me dignity
Somehow you needed me
You gave me strength to stand alone again
To face the world out on my own again
You put me high upon a pedestal
So high that I could almost see eternity
You needed me, you needed me


And I can't believe it's you
I can't believe it's true
I needed you and you were there
And I'll never leave, why should I leave?
I'd be a fool 'cause I finally found someone who really cares.”

We all have a need to be needed. We want to know that people care for us. We want them to affirm our value and importance. We want someone who we know truly cares for us and will be there whenever we have an unmet need. We want to know we are of value and that we are important to someone. Blessed is the person who knows he or she is needed and has someone who really cares enough to provide for that need.

Today let's be Lifters of someone's arms, helping to share their heavy load. Let's be Lookers, intentionally seeking out that person who needs someone to inspire and encourage them. If you do, not only will you bless someone but you yourself with be blessed for the greater blessing comes to the one who gives, not to the one who receives.

Yours in faith and friendship,
Pastor Tom

Saturday, June 6, 2020


Leadership Thought: The World Needs Dreamers

Dear Family,

I love the story of the little ten-year-old boy, who was selling pencils door to door in his neighborhood. When an interested adult at one house asked him the reasons for selling pencils. He replied, “I want to raise six million dollars to build a new hospital for the city.” Amazed, the inquiring adult exclaimed, “That’s a mighty big job for just one little boy, isn’t it?” “No,” the little boy responded, “I have a friend who is helping me.”

I love that little story because I love that little boy. I love hanging around people like that-those who dream big dreams-and I believe the world needs more people like this little boy. It needs people who are not afraid to dream and risk and dare to tackle great challenges. That is how progress is made and history is changed.

It was just 300 who were left from Gideon’s original army that defeated the Midianites, and it was only 120 faithful prayer warriors in that Upper Room who, after having received the promised Holy Spirit, ventured out boldly to win their world for Christ. And it was Jonathan with only one of his armor bearers who routed the whole Philistine army, because he knew that “Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or few.” (1 Samuel 14:6)

God has never been concerned with great numbers when it comes to accomplishing His will and purpose. The world needs dreamers, who desire to do great things for God, and who look to God and not the oddsmakers, for they know that one with God is always a majority.

A number of years ago, the late Robert Schuller, helped transform a non-descript drive-in movie theater in Orange County, California, into the magnificent Crystal Cathedral. Unfortunately, following Schuller’s death, the church’s influence and its once famous television ministry waned, and today it is home of the Orange County Roman Catholic diocese.  Whatever one thinks of Schuller’s theology, one can not dispute the fact that what he accomplished for Christ was the direct result of his willingness to dream big dreams.

He writes, “My dreams had all come true and when the dream comes true it dies. It no longer sustains and feeds you. I have since written this prayer: ‘O God, let me die with my best dreams left unfulfilled’. It’s a profound prayer for if I lived to see all my dreams come true, I will have died before I died.” Renew Your Life! Catch a New Dream, Robert Schuller, p. 6

Whether in the church, at home, or in the office or on the athletic fields, we all must dare to dream big dreams, for dreams are the stuff from which success is made and the foundation on which progress is achieved. And you know it ain’t half bad when someone calls you a dreamer, for I know of another dreamer. His name was Joseph, and his brothers sarcastically labeled him a dreamer, and he didn’t do too bad for himself and his God.

Yours in faith and friendship,
Pastor Tom