Leadership Thought: If God Can Use a Donkey, Just Maybe He Can Use You and Me

Dear Friend

When I look forward to Palm Sunday, I have always been struck by those words, "the Lord has need of it."

A donkey, the Lord needs a donkey! I don't know about you, but when I think about a donkey, I don't think of greatness. Oh, I know that in those days, a donkey was a symbol of humility, gentleness, and peace, but today to be called a donkey, which I have sometimes been called, (fess up you probably have been too) has never been what I consider a flattering or  positive expression of endearment. 

And yet, if the Lord has need of a donkey, then just maybe he can use me, a person with limited gifts and abilities. 

All of this reminds me of a Presbyterian pastor in an inner-city church in New York City. His mission field was a very violent place. He himself had been stabbed twice as he ministered to the people of the community which surrounded the church. 

Once a Puerto Rican woman became involved in the church and was led to Christ. After her  conversion, she came to the Pastor and said, "I want to do something to help with the church's ministry."

The pastor asked her what her talents were, and she couldn't think of any. She couldn't even speak English, but she did love children. So, the pastor put her on one of the church's  busses that went into the neighborhoods and transported kids to and from church. 

Every week she faithfully performed her duties. She would find the worst looking kid on the bus, put him in her lap and whisper over and over again the only words she had learned in English: "I love you and Jesus loves you."

After several months, she became attached to one little boy in particular. The boy didn't speak, and he came to Sunday school every week with his sister and sat on the woman's lap, but he never made a sound. Each week she would repeat to him all the way to and from Sunday school, "I love you and Jesus loves you."

And then one day to her amazement, the little boy turned around and stammered. "I... I... I... love you too." And then he put his arms around her and gave her a big hug. That was 2:30 on a Sunday afternoon. At 6:30 that night he was found dead. His mother had beaten him to death and thrown his body in a trash bin.

"I love you, and Jesus loves you." were some of the last words that little boy heard in his short life, and they came from the lips of a Puerto Rican woman who could barely speak English.

This woman gave her one talent to God, and because of that, a little boy who never heard the words, "I love you," in his own home, experienced and responded to the love of Christ. The Road He Walked-Palm Avenue, by Mark Adams and taken from the internet.

What is the 'colt 'we have to give? What is the talent, that in our eyes seems so insignificant, that God could use? In His hands, He can multiply that little gift or talent in the same way He took a small boy's loaf of bread, and miraculously multiplied it, providing lunch for over 5000 hungry people.

"Don't ever underestimate the gift you've been given. Use it boldly, and unapologetically, knowing that God's specialty is taking the seemingly insignificant things of life and transforming them into priceless vessels of his glory.

Have a wonderful Palm Sunday and always  remember, "The real tragedy of life is not in being limited to one talent, but in the failure to use the one talent you have." Edgar W. Work.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: "Keep Your Fork," Something Greater is Coming

Dear Friends,

There's a wonderful story about hope found in John Ortberg's, If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get out of the Boat.  Let me share the story in the words of Pastor John. 

"I read recently about a woman who had been diagnosed with cancer and was given three months to live. Her doctor told her to make her preparations to die, so she contacted her pastor and told him how she wanted things arranged for her funeral service. She talked about the songs she wanted sung, and the scriptures she wanted read. She described what she wanted said and even the clothes she wanted to be buried in and that she wanted her favorite bible to be buried with her." 

"But before he left, she called out to him, and said, 'One more thing.'"

"'What?"  'This is important. I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.'" 

"The pastor did not know quite what to say. 'No one had ever made such a request before.'"

"So, she explained, 'In all my years going to church functions, whenever food was involved, my favorite part was when whoever was clearing the dishes from the main course would lean over and say,  "You can keep your fork.'"

"'it was my favorite part because I knew that it meant something greater was coming. It wasn't just Jello. It was something with substance-apple pie or pineapple upside down cake- or some other dessert delicacy.'" 

'"I just want people to see me there in my casket with a fork in my hand, and I want them to wonder, what's with the fork? Then I want you to tell them, ‘Something better is coming so keep your fork.'" 

"The pastor hugged the woman and said goodbye, and soon after she died. 

At the funeral service people saw the dress she had chosen, the Bible she loved, and heard the songs she selected, but they all asked the same question; 'What's with the fork?'"

"The pastor explained that the woman wanted them to know that for her or for anyone who dies in Christ - this is not a day of defeat. It's a day of celebration. The real party is just starting. something better is coming.'"

I love the message in this story. It's a message of hope. Someone once said, "hope stands on tiptoe, as it eagerly anticipates the future."

We Christians need to be standing on tiptoe as we look to the future for the fulfillment of the promised resurrection.

One can't live very long without hope. Show me a hopeless person, and I will show you a lifeless person. Hopelessness will suck the life blood from your veins quicker than almost anything I know. It is a silent killer.

But the writer of Hebrews reminds us that we have a hope which is an "anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast." (Hebrews 6:19)

As believers, we should be standing on tiptoe waiting for the arrival of our heavenly home. We should share the sentiments of the apostle Peter who writes, "In his great mercy He has given us new birth to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade- kept in heaven for you who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of their salvation. that is ready to be revealed in the last time. (1 Peter 1:3- 6)

This is good news, and so the next time you are at one of those church suppers, don't forget: 'Keep your fork' because you know something greater is coming. 

Yours in faith and friendship,

Pastor Tom

Leadership Thought: The Hugging or the Holy Kiss Debate?

Dear Friends,

Thanks to those of you who responded to yesterday's Leadership Thought on hugging.

I received several wonderful responses. One south Florida friend sent me an air hug. Unfortunately, however, his air hug was not quite the same as a real  person embrace.

I also received a strange response from another reader-just a small dark seemingly non- descript emoji. I had no idea what she was trying to communicate  with her cryptic response, so I asked her.  She simply responded that she had sent me a hugging emoji. Duh! I guess that brings you up to speed on my  computer communication skills.

Since the pandemic there hasn't been a lot of hugging, and I'm afraid that hugging is in danger of becoming a thing of the past.

As I reflected some more on this subject, I found myself wondering what might happen in our crazy political world if those antagonistic members on both sides of the aisle would start hugging each other. Could all the acrimony be healed with a simple hug? I don't know, but I do know that it's hard to argue when you're hugging!

It has been medically proven that hugging makes us happier.

A hug releases oxytocin, a chemical that not only reduces blood pressure but makes us happier. That's why it is called the "happy hormone."

When I see someone down in the dumps, I will often ask them if I might  give them hug? And if they look at me and ask if I've been vaccinated, I know it may be time to back off and suggest a toe tap or an elbow bump instead!

It is true that hugging makes one feel comfortable and cared for while also reducing stress and if there is anything that we need less of in our lives, it is stress.

Stress impacts us all, especially children. Dr. Suzanne Archers, a retired educator, states that children who don't grow up with hugs may grow up and find it difficult to express affection to others. She goes on to point out that if your child reacts negatively to the idea of being hugged, then sit next to him/her on a sofa where you can still make some degree of physical contact.

Paul encourages us to greet one another with a holy kiss (2 Corinthians 13:12), but I think it might be a little safer to start with the hug, even if it might seem a bit less scriptural. 

However, you choose to express your care and love for others, remember to make it appropriate and apropos for methods may not matter but motives sure do. Just a thought!

Yours for hugging,

Tom

Leadership Thought: So, You're not a Hugger! Why Not?

Dear Friends,

I love a hug and I'm not embarrassed to ask for one when I need it.

The most difficult period in my life took place when Jean was in the care of hospice, lying in a hospital bed in our bedroom, unable to communicate with anyone in the room.

During that time our friends would come and visit, a part of the vigil of death.

How blessed I was by their faithful presence. They would enter the room, not say a word, and yet in the warm embrace of their arms thrown around me, I felt the love that even words sometimes cannot express.

It's been a little over a year now since Jean has gone home to be with the Lord, but the thought of those  silent hugs of love from those who visited our tiny bedroom still remain freshly etched upon my heart. 

There are few greater ways to express one's deepest love than the hug.

Bill Roberts, a dear friend who has since gone home to be with the Lord, would stand in the back of our church each Sunday, with his arms ever ready to reach out and hug anyone who crossed his path. Oh, how I miss those wonderful Bill Roberts bear hugs.

One of my favorite ways to close a meeting is to call for a group hug. Everyone gathers in a circle, and we put our arms around each other and then we squeeze in and make the circle as small and tight as possible while we close our time in prayer.

I know some people are not comfortable huggers, in fact  they may even go to great lengths to avoid them. I feel sorry for them, for they don't know how valuable such a warm embrace can be.

This week I was speaking at our Ladies fellowship, and one of those present was Eileen, a friend and member who had lost her husband a year before Jean had passed.  As we talked and shared our pain, we suddenly stopped talking and  automatically we both threw our arms around each other in a hug that clearly communicated, "I know the pain you're feeling."

Kathleen Keating in her book Hug Therapy states, "Touch is not only nice it's needed. Scientific research supports the theory that stimulation by touch is absolutely necessary for our physical as well as our emotional well-being."

Another person claims that people need four hugs a day just as preventative maintenance. 

He says, "Seven hugs are absolutely required for good mental health. So rather than take the chance of running a deficit I keep a close count and try never to go below my daily quota. Carrying over from day to day is frowned on."

Unfortunately, today the hug is often misunderstood. This is too bad for an appropriate hug is such a wonderful way of expressing love, warmth and encouragement. Putting your arms around someone and giving them a squeeze is a wonderful way of saying, "I care," "I understand how you're feeling," "I love you."

"It's wondrous what a hug can do.

A hug can cheer you when you're blue.

A hug can say, ‘I love you so,’

Or, ‘I sure hate to see you go.’

A hug is, ‘Welcome back again,’ 

And, ‘Great to see you!  Where've you been?’  

A hug can smooth a small child's pain. 

And bring a rainbow after rain.

The hug- There's no doubt about it-

We scarcely could survive without it! 

A hug delights and warms and charms. 

It must be why God gave us arms. 

Hugs are great for fathers and mothers,

Sweet for sisters, swell for brothers.

And chances are your favorite aunts

Love them more than potted plants. 

Kittens crave them. Puppies love them.

Heads of state are not above them.

A hug can break the language barrier,

And make your travel so much merrier.

No need to fret about your store of 'em,'

The more you give, the more there's more of 'em.

So, stretch those arms without delay

And give someone a hug today!!!!!” 

John W. Drakeford, Hugs, The Awesome Power of Positive Attention, quoted from David Jeremiah's The Joy of Encouragement, p. 79-80. 

So, you're not a hugger? My only question to you is, "Why not?"

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

 

Leadership Thought: What Kinds of Seeds Will We Be Sowing?

Dear Friend,

Stanley Tam,  a successful businessman turned missionary, wrote these  words: " What you sow is what multiplies, not  what you keep in the barn." 

Tam's words are a good reminder of the importance of being in the seed sowing business.

One simple and easy way we can do that is by starting each day with this short and simple prayer. "Lord, please show me one thing I can do today to sow encouraging seeds in someone's life.” I promise you that this is a prayer that God will love to answer.

There are many ways one can sow seeds of encouragement: words, listening, touch, hugs, service, gifts, hospitality prayer, and notes and letters are just a few of them. Please let me know if you think of  others you might add.

Below is a list of some of my favorite quotes on the subject that might encourage you to be an encourager.

                       FAVORITE QUOTES ON ENCOURAGEMENT 

"Pass the credit while the sweat is still on the brow."

"Be an encourager: the world has plenty of critics already."

"A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success."

"Never get tired of doing little things for others. For sometimes those little things occupy the biggest part of their heart."

"Be somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody."

"God uses broken people like you and me to rescue broken people like you and me."

"Don't push people down. (it makes you smaller as you do it) but raise people up and as you do so, you will raise yourself up." John Maxwell

 "Put a 10 on the face of everyone you meet, or better yet, put the face of your mother on everyone you greet."

"Envision that everyone you meet has a sign hanging around their neck that says, please help me feel important."

"Don't be a tombstone encourager. Encourage them now, while they are still above ground."

"Believing in people before they prove themselves is the key to motivating people to reach their full potential."

"Praise publicly, criticize privately."

"Nothing improves a man's hearing like a little praise."

"Be the wing beneath the wind beneath another's wings, and not the anchor in their boat."

"Treat people as if they were the most important people in the world and you will communicate that they are somebody to you."

"Don't let any unwholesome words come out of your mouth, but that which is helpful and will build others up according to their needs.( Ephesians 4:23)

"Kind words are like a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. (Proverbs 16: 24)

"Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up" (Proverbs 12: 25) 

"A pat on the back is only a few vertebrae from a kick in the pants, but it's miles ahead in its results." Ella Wheeler, Wilcox

"Flatter me, and I may not believe you, criticize me, and I may not like you, ignore me, and I may never forgive you, but encourage me, and I will never forget you."

"Kind words are short and easy to speak, but their echoes are endless. "Mother Teresa

"Touch a person's heart before you ask them for their hand." John Maxwell

"You can't make another person feel important if inwardly and secretly you think the person is a nobody."

"Shout praise, whisper criticism."

"Catch people doing something good and reward them with a compliment."

"Treat a man as he is, and you make him worse. Treat a man as if he was what he could be, and you will make him what he should be." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"People will go further than they think they can when someone else thinks they can."

"I have yet to see a man, however exalted his situation who does not put forth greater effort under the spirit of approval then under the spirit of criticism." Andrew Carnegie

"There are high spots in all our lives, and most of them have come about through encouragement from someone else." George Adams.

"The greatest good you can do for another is not share your riches, but reveal to him his own." Benjamin Disraeli

Just a thought: These might be a good resource for a sharing time with friends or a family,. "Which of these quotes do you like the best and why?"

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Church Members: Are You Equipped for Ministry?

Dear Friends,

There is no  passage of scripture I have preached on more often than Ephesians 4:11-12. 

In every church I've served, the first and the last sermon has been based on this text. Why is it so important to me? The answer is, because I think it should be at the heart of every pastor and leader's mission statement. 

Paul states in Ephesians 4:12. that we are "to equip the saints for the work of ministry." That is my passion, and I want it to be the passion of the people I serve. I do not believe there is any other way to build a Church except through an equipping ministry.

Years ago, I read a humorous letter that was sent to a certain do-it-yourself catalog concern. It reminded me of the importance of following the right blueprints when given the responsibility of constructing something of value. 

The brief letter read: "I built a birdhouse according to plans and specifications. Not only is it too big, but it keeps falling out of the tree. Signed, Unhappy."

The unhappy builder received the following response. "Dear Unhappy, I'm sorry that we accidentally sent you a sailboat blueprint instead of a birdhouse. If you think you are unhappy, you should see the guy who came in last in the Yacht Club Regatta, sailing a leaky birdhouse."

God has given us the right blueprint for building his church, and there is no other way to build that church than to follow His divine design. If we try to build it in any other way than His way, we are going to be in trouble.

To me, the measure of any church's ministry is not calculated  by buildings, bodies, or budgets. No, the true measure of any church's success should be how many spectators have become participants, and how many of those sitting on the sidelines have suited up and are involved in meaningful ministry. 

I once was asked what I thought were the most important principles for building a church. I quickly answered: "No success without a successor," and "Never do ministry alone- always take someone with you."

These two brief quotations are good reminders that whenever I'm involved in leadership, I need to be training someone to take my place. 

D. L. Moody said it best when he remarked: "I would rather put 1,000 men to work than to do the work of 1,000 men."

Today, in many churches, we have seen the downward progression of "men, movements, and monuments." 

I saw this firsthand in Philadelphia, where I once pastored. Great churches that were once pastored by well-known preachers, have now become empty shells, sad relics of the past. Their doors are now closed because people were never equipped to carry on ministry after these famous pastors left. The ministry was never passed down from the pulpit to the pew, and so when these great preaching pastors left, rather than leaving their ministry behind, they took it with them.

God has called the leaders of the church to help their people discover, develop, and deploy their spiritual gifts "for the work of ministry." When this happens, the church is vibrant and alive, and the people are excited and affirmed as they discover that God is able to use them in meaningful ways within the church's ministry. 

I have often told my congregations that the minister's responsibility is not to meet everyone's needs, but to see that everyone's needs are met, and there's a big difference between these two responsibilities. One will kill the pastor, while the other will liberate the pastor. 

I saw a cartoon of a pastor who came home after what was apparently a very hectic day at the church. He turns and says to his wife, "Honey, I've had a rough day. Would you mind telling me everyone's name again?" 

I've sometimes felt that way when I have tried to be Super Pastor, trying to meet everyone's needs.

The key to avoiding days like that is equipping others to help share and shoulder the load.

When I preach, I often lookout on the congregation and see beautifully gift-wrapped packages sitting there in front of me. Each package has a name tag that says, "Given in love by the Holy Spirit for ministry."

Some of those packages have been ripped open, and the gifts within have been exposed and are being deployed for service. Sadly, however, many of those packages still remain beautifully wrapped and the contents within have never been discovered. They need to be opened, and the gifts inside need to be discovered and employed for service. 

The apostle Paul exhorts his good friend Timothy: "Do not neglect the spiritual gift within you.” (1 Timothy, 4: 4). Church members, we need to heed this exhortation.

One pastor I read about not only had business cards made up for his staff to pass out to people, but he also created cards for each of his members. On each card was the church name and then the name, address, and phone number of the member,  and  then there was a blank line below for the member to write in his/her particular ministry. If you had received one of those cards, would you have been able to identify your area of ministry, or would you have been embarrassed because you had to leave it blank?

As pastors, teachers, parents, coaches, and leaders in our communities, we need to help those around us discover their spiritual gifts and their natural talents, and then  encourage them to find opportunities to express those gifts and talents in the meaningful service of others. 

Let's unleash the saints for meaningful ministry. Let's deploy them and remind them there are on active duty to fulfill God's plan to make a difference in our world. 

If we fail to take seriously God's plan for building His church, we may find ourselves sailing through life in some leaky birdhouse and who wants to live like that? 

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Would That We All Could Be Like Onesiphorus

Dear Friends

There are few gifts that you can give to someone which are more valuable than the gift of encouragement. It doesn't cost much except a willingness to put the interests of another ahead of your own.

Over the years of ministry, I have been blessed to receive this gift in many forms, but none greater or more memorable than the gift I received over 25 years ago. 

Dan Herman and I met on the wrestling circuit  as dads of two aspiring athletes who were involved in a local youth wrestling program. We had plenty of time to get to know each other as we would sit together at wrestling tournaments that would often start with registration as early as 6:30 AM, and which sometimes didn't conclude until nine or ten at night. 

During that time together, we became good friends. We encouraged each other's children, and we both shared in the joy and pain of our sons' victories and defeats. Slowly, as the relationship developed, I began sharing with him aspects of my commitment to Christ. 

Brought up as a Jew, he seemed eager to learn more about Jesus, and after a number of discussions in my office, Dan took the step of faith and accepted his Messiah. 

Dan's faith continued to grow as did our friendship.

When I left the area to begin a new ministry in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, we were meeting together weekly in a small group for dads wanting to learn how to be better fathers and husbands. 

I will never forget the day I left for Florida. Jean had unfortunately selected our moving date to coincide  with a big garage sale at our home intended to help us sell as many of our belongings as we could. The house was filled with a mass of eager 'shoppers,' some arriving hours before the sale was to begin. Milling around and bumping into each other as they gawked at the items we had planned to sell; I could hardly walk through the house without being jostled by these relentless shoppers looking for a bargain. 

To make matters worse, and adding to the chaos, a number of our friends had shown up to help load our remaining possessions into a truck I had rented for my drive to Fort Lauderdale. 

Jean and I were physically and emotionally exhausted by the events surrounding our move, and as I and some of those church friends strained to close the door shut on the 24' foot rented truck that was jammed packed with our belongings, I remember thinking I don't have enough energy to even lift myself up into the truck cab, let alone get behind the wheel and start out on the 2000 mile trip to Fort Lauderdale.

When I finally did say goodbye to those that had helped load the truck, I gave my wife a big hug, grabbed our cat Samantha, and headed for the truck. I climbed up into the cab, only to discover that sitting there next to the driver's seat was my good friend Dan. 

"What are you doing," I asked? 

"I'm helping you drive to Florida." 

I was overcome by his thoughtfulness and his concern for my safety. I protested that I could make the trip alone, but he would hear none of it. He was there to support and encourage me on my southern journey.

Our drive south turned out to be one of the most unforgettable experiences of my life, and the stories that were born out of our time together are still among some of my most cherished memories.

I guess 'friends don't let friends drive' alone to Fort Lauderdale.

I can't begin to tell you how encouraged I was by Dan's willingness to bless  me with his special gift of service.

Encouragement is often fashioned out of one's faith and friendship. Dan appreciated the friendship we had formed, and for the Savior he had come to know, and to this day we still remain the closest of friends.

After moving back to New Jersey, we continued our friendship meeting together every Wednesday for breakfast.

And when Jean was in the last stages of her fight with Parkinson Disease, it was Dan, who now was a hospice chaplain, who was my constant bedside companion as together we watched Jean's life slowly slip away. 

It has been said that "God gives us memories, so that we might be able to smell the roses in December, and how grateful I am for one of those very special 'roses,' born out of a unique friendship and fashioned from the soil of encouragement.

One doesn't have to go so far as to share a drive to Fort Lauderdale to encourage another. Often encouragement can spring from small, but yet intentional acts of kindness designed to lighten someone's load. Whether expressed in the form of words or actions, encouragement refreshes us and gives us hope. It keeps us going when we don't think we can take another step.

The Apostle Paul was grateful for his little-known friend Onesiphorus who was willing to walk hundreds of miles to visit him when he was in a Roman prison cell.

Paul appreciated his love, and he writes his disciple and friend Timothy: "May the Lord show mercy to the household of Onesiphorus because he refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains" (2 Timothy 1:16-18").

We all are in need cheerleaders like Dan Herman in our lives, those who come along side us in our time of need. They help lift our loads and bear our burdens. They renew and refresh us. That's what encouragement does; To 'en' courage someone means to 'put courage' into that person, courage that keeps them going when they are ready to give in and give up.

May we always remember that "When a person is down in this world, an ounce of help is (always) better than a pound of preaching." Edward George Lytton

Who will you encourage today, and how will you help them?

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom