Leadership Thought: What's It Like to Talk with Friends You Haven't Seen for Over 40 Years?

Dear Friends,

43 years is a long time to see a once familiar face. That is how long it has been since I have seen some of the friends Jean and I talked with last Saturday. These were friends I served with while I was pastoring an inner-city church in Philadelphia. On Saturday one of the children of one of those church members arranged a zoom call, and we were invited to participate.

Back in the 70’s when I was pastoring in the city of Philadelphia, we pursued a philosophy that the way to get people into the church was to get the church into the community. One of the ways we accomplished this was establishing a low cost ten-week summer camp for grades 5-12. The camp grew from 100 children the first year who paid just $10 for the whole five weeks-I said it was cheap- to a camp with over 550 children including a special needs camp for children with disabilities. The camp was named "Northwest Youth in Action," and was led by a staff of some seminary, college, and high school students, who together with a large number of volunteers from the church, were responsible for driving buses, teaching classes, coaching sports, leading worship, making lunches and above all loving on the children of that community. 

Last Saturday Jean and I had the privilege of personally renewing our friendship with some of those dear friends who were a part of our camp leadership teams. It was such a joy for us to share stories of how God brought us all together as a team to help make a difference in that community.  We laughed together as we recalled how my wife Jean got her CDL license so she could drive one of our buses. Can you imagine her behind the wheel of a school bus driving down one of the busy streets in Philly? 

For over an hour some 15 of us, both young and old swapped  memories of our seven years together at the Cedar Park Presbyterian Church. Although we had not personally seen many of those on the call since we left Philadelphia in 1979, those 7 years of inter-racial ministry  had forged relationships will never be forgotten. Despite time and distance, those friendships have endured throughout these many years, and I am blessed to say they are as  strong today as they  were in the 70’s. 

While we have kept in touch with a few of these friends through occasional calls and Christmas letters, we have not met face to face in over 40 years until we once again met on our Zoom call. As I prayed at the close of our time together, I thanked God for the wonderful friendships we cultivated back then and which still exist even until today.

 Friendships are not a luxury; they are a necessity, and the more friends you have, the happier you will be. This is especially true for pastors. The Lilly Endowment invested 

$84 million over 10 years to study what makes for excellence in ministry. One of their interesting discoveries was that “pastors need real, intimate, vulnerable friendships, if they are going to last in ministry; relationships with peers are the key factor to pastoral longevity.” ("Desiring God,” Pastors Need Friends Too, Feb. 10, 2018 taken from the Internet. I can personally attest to the truth of these findings after serving 7 churches, some a second time. As the song says, "People, and yes pastors who need people, are the luckiest people in the world"

It has been said that "God has given us memories, so that we might smell the roses in December,” and how grateful Jean and I are for the many wonderful memories we have of friends we have gathered along our spiritual journey.

In one of my favorite classic country songs by Merle Haggard and Willie Nelson titled “Unfair Weather Friends. If  you go on U tube  you will hear one of the great friendship songs ever written, and you will hear the following: 

(I)Might wind up stuck out on some old forgotten highway

Somehow, you’ll show up and sure enough be going’ my way

You’re always there, right where you’ve always been...

I don’t have to wonder where’ll you’ll be if I should need you

All I have to do is close my eyes and I can see you

Always there, right where you’ve always been

My come whatever, unfair weather friend.”

My eyes well up as I write these words. My prayer is that you still have a lot of those “unfair weather friends” in your memory bank. Why not take a moment today to ask God to bring to them to mind some of those special “unfair weather friends” who have touched your life? Grab the phone or grasp a pen and let them know how much you love them and how much they mean to you.  Or better yet, why not do as a lot of us old timers are  doing- call one of your kids or grand kids and let them  set up that zoom call for you. You will be glad you did, and so will those you call, because there is nothing like seeing the face and hearing the voice of one of those “unfair weather friends.”

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. “Where hearts are true, few words will do.”