Leadership Thought: Who Likes to Work with a Staff of Sourpusses?

Dear Friends,

Last night at our monthly elder's leadership meeting, we enjoyed a lot of whimsey while we worked. While dealing with a number of significant issues confronting our church-all good I might add- we were careful to 'allocate' a sufficient amount of time for some lighthearted "whimsey" while engaging in those serious discussions. Whimsy is a word that we use a lot on staff  around New Monmouth. It is a word that has come to mean a kind of playful communication that often brings joy and laughter to those on both the giving and receiving end. You might call it playful banter. It can momentarily relieve the stress of ministry-yes, there are occasions of stress for those of us engaged in the Lord’s work.

There is often a lot of laughter that accompanies whimsy, and I have found that laughter can be healthful, even invigorating.  It was President Lincoln who said, “With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh, I should die.”  Laughter can often help get us through stressful or challenging situations. It enables us to step away from a problem for a few moments, and in so doing gain a fresh perspective on the challenge we are facing.
You may have heard the saying “He who laughs-lasts.” I suspect there is a lot of truth to this statement. Laughter can relieve stress, and increase  longevity. It may also be true that laughing 100 times a day works the heart as much as exercising for ten minutes on a rowing machine.  Yes, laughter undoubtedly can be good for both the body and yes, even the soul.
Serving on a staff where we often laugh together makes ministry more enjoyable, and it assists in building comradery which is so important in building a team. 
Fun and laughter should be regular ingredients in a Christian’s life. These qualities can make us more relatable. As believers we should be joyful, playful, fun loving, and even whimsical for those possessing these qualities are generally the most attractive people to be around. Who wants to hang with stern, somber, humorless, lemon sucking killjoys who have no appreciation for a few laughs and a little whimsy?

As Christians we should be fun to be with. Our personality should pave the way for the  building of relationships, and those relationships can often provide the open door for the communication of the Gospel.

So, followers of Christ, let’s lighten up a bit and put a little more whimsy in our lives. Let’s laugh a little more and show the world that those who bear the name of Christ are the happiest people alive. And why shouldn’t we be, for we are the possessor of abundant and eternal life. 

Martin Luther wrote, “If you’re not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don’t want to go there,” and neither do I.

Yours in Whimsy,
Pastor Tom

P.S. “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones (Proverbs 17:22).

Leadership Thought: The Truth I Learned about Me and Jonah at Church Yesterday.

Dear Friends,

Yesterday in church we concluded a five-week study of the Book of Jonah, and following a time of prayer and worship we broke into small groups to discuss how the book of Jonah had impacted our lives. It was a great discussion as we wrestled with the meaning of this wonderful four-chapter book.

Jonah is more than just a “whale of a tale,” as some have been prone to describe it. It’s a story that highlights the danger of the kind of self-righteous behavior that all of us must seek to avoid.

God tells Jonah that He is to go to Assyria to visit the hated Ninevites and share the story of His love for these pagan people. However, Jonah, 'the runaway prophet,' knowing he possesses the  option to disobey God’s will, buys a sailing ticket that takes him in the opposite direction from the people God called him to visit. Jonah thought he knew best. Why would God call him to share His love with a pagan people so cruel and vicious that they were known to skin their enemies alive? God must be making a mistake in sending me,  such a God-fearing man that I am, to these hated people.

Jonah didn’t know that when we disobey God’s will for our will we will always go down; sacrificing peace for the storm and calm for calamity. Jonah thought he was too good to associate with these hated people. He is like the elder son in the story of the Prodigal Son. He resents the fact that his Father is rejoicing over the homecoming of his prodigal brother who has been spending his time in the pig pen of sin,  while he has remained at home dutifully fulfilling the tasks his father has given him. How can my father love him as much as he loves me, he thinks to himself? Why would he  throw a party for the him whose actions have so dishonored him and yet not throw one for me who has remained at home to serve him. He didn’t know, as one writer expressed it, that  “Jesus seeks the wandering sheep who strays from the fold as well as the  proud self-righteous brother who stays at  home, thinking he was the  good one.”

As Christians we need to be careful that we are not self-righteous in our thoughts and actions, like Jonah or the elder brother. The Bible declares that God desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth" (1 Timothy 2:4). And God’s all means all!

Does that include those who are destroying Christian churches in China, or burning them down in India, or taking the lives of believers in Nigeria? The answer is yes. All over the world Christians face an onslaught of persecution from those who hate us because they hate our faith. Are we supposed to love them? Yes, Jonah, them to.

But let’s bring the story closer to home. Does that mean that we should love the woman who threw rocks through our sanctuary windows this summer, and did the same to two other neighboring churches, costing thousands of dollars in damages? Yes , Jonah, she is included too. But what about all those looters and the ones that set fire to buildings and cost our nation billions of dollars as a result of the damage they inflicted on our nation’s cities this summer, them to? Yes, Jonah. But what about that Republican or Democratic neighbor we so despise for all the hateful things they have said about the things we believe in? Yes, Jonah, they are included as well.

The Christian faith is a missionary faith, and it must be carried with us and shared with our next-door neighbor as well as the neighbor who lives on the farthest corner of our globe. Yes, Jesus reminds us that we don’t choose our neighbors and that our neighbor is anyone  who has a need. Our mission is to reach our  neighbor, whether next door or around the world. He makes it clear when He says, “For the Son of man came to seek and to save the lost,” and may I politely remind you that at one time you were one of “them” that were lost! (Luke 19:10)...for “As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.” (John 20:21). And the “You” that is being sent is you and I and the millions of believers around the world who are called to faithfully fulfill our calling.

In Herman Melville’s book Moby Dick, the author writes. “Lord have mercy on us all for we are all somehow dreadfully cracked about the head and sadly in need of mending.” That includes us, pagans and Presbyterians and every other variety of faith and practice. Handicapped  as we are, my question is, will we be a Jonah and run from our calling or a follower of Jesus who sets his heart on doing His will wherever we are and wherever we go

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Lesson More Than a Lesson on Country Music-Be Sure you Read to the End.

Dear Friends,

Those who know me are probably aware of the fact that I love classic country music, and when I’m home and I’m often  tuned in to Pandora as I listen to my favorite Pandora station, a mix of Merle Haggard and Willy Nelson. I don’t know why I have such an affinity for country music, but I guess it goes  way back to the late 50’s when I first heard Elvis Pressley belting out  “Heartbreak Hotel.”  I would often stay up late at night to catch the music coming from WWVA Wheeling, West Virginia where I would also hear the Grand Old Opry. There is just something about country music and the stories that are told that brings tears to my eyes and joy to my heart.

In the early morning hours today, I was doing some research on a song I had never heard before called “Leonard” sung  by my favorite classic country singer of all, Merle Haggard. I heard the song yesterday on Pandora, and in doing some research on the song, I discovered that Leonard was a fictionalized name for a singer- song writer named Tommy Collins who was a part of the “Bakersfield Sound” popularized by Dwight Yoakam and Buck Owens. And in the process of discovering some interesting facts about the song, I came across a video of two of my  favorite country singers, Randy Travis and George Jones. They are both country music legends, considered to be two of the greatest country singers who ever lived. George died a few years ago, only months before I had tickets to see him in concert in my hometown or Watertown, N.Y,  and Randy suffered a stroke this past  decade that ended his singing career.

Randy and George were  informally sharing their love for country music and discussing some of the early singers that had influenced their music careers, people like Hank Williams, Lefty Frizzell and Roy Acuff, and I was captivated by their conversation and their deep love and appreciation for country music. But the thing that stuck me the most was the mutual love and respect Randy and George had for each other. George and Randy were among the greatest  country music singers of all time and during the informal time before they came on stage to sing, they were discussing some of the country legends who preceded them and who had influenced their music. If you go to U Tube and click on Influencers, Randy Travis and George Jones, you will see and hear their amazing conversation as they reminisced about their country roots and the people who impacted and influenced them. Even if you are not a fan of classic county music, I think you will be intrigued by their close personal relationship and the  mutual respect they shared for one another. The conversation then leads into their concert which includes their duet of one of my all-time favorites, “A Few Old Country Boys.”

George Jones is known for the singing of “He Stopped Loving Her Today,” which is considered to be one of  the greatest country hits of all time, Randy Travis, who is also  in the upper echelon of greatest country singers, is best known for songs like “Three Wooden Crosses,” “On the Other Hand,” and  “Forever and Ever Amen.”

But Tom, this is a strange “Leadership Thought” to be sharing today. How does Country Music have anything to do with a Leadership Thought? Well, the answer is not much, except that is has momentarily taken my mind off all the political drama unfolding before our eyes on our television screens. I thought many of us might enjoy a  break from vote counting and political posturing, and what better way to do this than to listen to  some down-home country music.

So, I apologize to you if you were expecting something a little more spiritual than a history lesson on classic country music. So, in deference to you, let me close by hopefully bringing all of us back to something of redeeming spiritual value as I share a list of my all-time favorite Christian  country classics. Take a listen and you might find yourself becoming, if you are not already, a  fan of country music. Here they are.  “I Saw God Today,” George Strait, “Family Bible”, George Jones, “The Old Rugged Cross,” Johnny Cash, “How Great Thou Art,” Carrie Underwood, “Bless The Broken Road,” Rascal Flatts, “The Long Black Train,” Josh Turner, “Angels Among Us,” Alabama,  “Holes in the Floor of Heaven,” Steve Wariner, “Believe,” Brooks and Dunne,  “Jesus Take the Wheel,” Carrie Underwood, “Three Wooden Crosses,” Randy Travis, and my all-time favorite “Go Rest High on the Mountain,” sung at the funeral of George Jones by Vince Gill and Patti Lovelace.

Have a wonderful weekend and let me know some of some of your favorite country hits, especially those Christian ones. 

And maybe after listening to some of these songs, I'll you out on the floor, a part of the line dancing crowd at Bubba’s Saloon!

Yours in faith and friendships,

Tom

Leadership Thought: How My Grand Daughter Would Solve the Political Chaos.

Dear Friends,

My five-year-old granddaughter came up with a wonderful suggestion on how to solve all of the politicking and lawyering up that is now taking place in the aftermath of the most contentious election in modern history. She overheard our family discussing the closeness of the election, and she asked, “Why don’t they (Trump and Biden) get together and share the office? What an idea? Co-presidents would certainly be a novel twist in addressing the chaos permeating our political system. Mitch McConnell and Nancy Pelosi sitting at the table over a cup of coffee and having a “get to know you better party.”

I didn’t begin to try and explain to Reese the magnitude of differences that exist between our two presidential candidates, as I am sure she wouldn’t have understood why getting the two of them to work together would pose more problems than we already have.

We are long past the days when people who hold extreme and divergent views can sit down and respectfully talk with one another without the conversation quickly going south.

My sister-in-law is an independent thinker who I would consider to be a political moderate. Her husband was a career Marine, and she harbors a great love for our military. She shares conservative views on a number of political issues, but she doesn’t toe the party line, and so she supported and voted for Joe Biden. Unfortunately, supporting Joe Biden and voting as she did, has cost her a number of significant friendships, and I feel sad for her.

It seems almost impossible in this politically charged environment to still be friends with people who are different from us and who hold antithetical positions on many of the issues before that are important to us. It is becoming more and more difficult to sit down with such people and carry on civil discourse and still walk away with our friendship intact.

To my way of thinking, the best result of the election, assuming Joe Biden is declared our next president, is that it appears the Republicans will still control the Senate, and there will remain a balance of power in Congress. While this may be good news for some, it may be bad news for others. A continued balance in Congress may be the source of more of the political infighting and gridlock that we have been accustomed to, while fostering an even more toxic environment where little gets done and name calling continues to be an accepted standard of communication.

“No Reese, President Trump and Joe Biden would never be able to  get along with each other, for they are too different.” But what if in Reese’s imaginary world, it happened, and the two of them were able to be respectful of one another, and they forged a friendship and fostered a new spirit of civility. Just maybe such actions would translate into greater cooperation and cooperation into productive collaboration, and surprisingly some things might get done in the halls of Congress. No, we may not see prolife advocates holding hands and singing "kum ba yah" with those who are prochoice, but hopefully we might discover common ground on other less divisive issues. And as a result, some momentum might be achieved that would lead to cooperation that in turn would lead to more significant accomplishments.

Like Reese, I am still dreaming, but wouldn’t it be nice if rather than four more years of a political gridlock, we were able to bridge some of our differences and arrive at some compromises where no one wins everything they want, but where all come out as winners because for once they have finally gotten something done. I think  greater civility and respect for one another would go a long ways in enabling our country to move forward and get back to a sense of normalcy.

What if, in the hope of progress, we could adopt the spirit of Ecc. 4:9-10 that reminds us “That two are better than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help.” 

And what if every political leader had Philippians 2:1 inscribed on their paper weights as a reminder that “If there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participating in Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.”

Now these scriptural examples may not be acceptable to everyone but if enough Christians in Congress began to live out their faith and embrace it, just maybe the spirit of compromise and collaboration might catch on and who knows what might happen?

In closing let me suggest that each of us brings this model of civility to our own front door. We may not walk the aisles of Congress, but we do walk the streets of Red Bank, and Shrewsbury and Middletown and Little Silver, and we can model this kind of civility at home, in church, in school, and at work, and who knows but what this kind of spirit might catch on and before long we will have established a "Civility Movement" that will change our nation. Like Reese, I would like to pray and dream that might happen.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: The Truth I Learned in My Junior High “Presidential Election.”

Dear Friends,

I tried to going to sleep at 2:30 this morning, but when I couldn’t stand watching the election results any more, I got up, went to my computer, and in an effort to‘ ‘type out’ my political angst, I began writing my Leadership Thought for today.

As lay in bed reflecting on the closeness of the race, my mind flashed back to my first political venture. It took place in junior high school when in 9^th grade I ran for school president. No red states or blue states back then, just the Flats where most of the Italians in my school lived and the Washington Street high  ground where most of my potential 'constituents' lived.

Rocco Pangallo, whom I was running against, would capture most of the Italian vote, so I would have to count on a strong showing from my non-Italian South Washington Street  area supporters.  We waged an exciting campaign. Back then, we both knew the race would be decided by the side who came up with the catchiest slogans and who hung the  most creative posters. No campaign managers, no fancy speeches or campaign promises, just "mano y mano," Rocco versus me, and may the best man win.

I was later told that the race was decided by only one vote, although to this day I can't vouch for the credibility of my friend's account. In any event,  Rocco was crowned president and I was the heartbroken runner up.

I learned a lot about politics in that election. You see in my naivete, I thought the honorable thing to do was to vote for my opponent, and so I voted for my friend Rocco.  And today I still live with the regret of casting that one vote that may have been the difference between my winning and losing the election.

This morning’s presidential race, which at the moment is still undecided, is not unlike that school election that came down to the wire in the halls of South Junior High School. When the last ballot was recorded, and the votes tallied on that election day in 1955, I walked away as second best.

I tell this story knowing that my junior high school adversary Rocco, will probably read this and laugh, as he receives my daily “Leadership Thought.” The story will not be new to him as he has heard it repeated almost every summer when we get together. To this day Rocco remains one of my best friends, and each summer he and his wife rent my daughter’s next door cottage, where we spend time together reminiscing and reliving the good old days,  including the infamous 9^th grade presidential  election that he won by the narrowest of  margins. But despite my ‘bitter loss,’ our friendship has endured  these many years.

Now why do I share this story. It is certainly not because I think that Donald Trump and Joe Biden will become the best of buddies. That could happen, but realistically the chance of it are slim. For no matter who is declared the final winner, each will probably harbor  hard feelings and hold bitter contempt for one another.

Politics has a way of dividing friendships, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Just as Rocco  and I maintain a close personal friendship to this day, so you too can enjoy the same kind of friendship with those who wear the colors of a different political party. Our friendships can and must transcend our political partisanship. There will be far more at stake in the months ahead then were at stake in the South Junior High School election of  1955.

In the days ahead, each of us must strive  to insure that not one of our  friendships is destroyed by our  political differences or our partisan perspectives. 

My ‘political’ battle with my friend  Rocco  was nothing in comparison to the political battle between the late Supreme Court Justice, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, and Anthony Scalia. They  were known as the odd couple because they were so different. One Jewish and the other an Italian Roman Catholic. They always seemed to take different sides on the issues that would come before them, but they never let their differences destroy their friendship. To sum up their unusual friendship, Ginsburg quoted Scalia who said, “I attack ideas, I don’t attack people. Some very good people have some very bad ideas.” Then later that year, in her memoir, “My own Words,” Ginsberg summed up her relationship with Justice Scalia saying, “How blessed I was to have a working colleague and dear friend of such captivating brilliance, high spirits and quick wit.”

Oh, how I wish  that all our friendships could be like that. If Ruth and Anthony could do it, so can you and I.  As Scalia said to a reporter who questioned how he was able to maintain such a strong relationship with someone who was so politically different, he responded, “ Some things are more important than votes.” And he was right, and one of those things is our lasting friendships.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: The Two Things That Every Christian Must Do Today.

Dear Friends,

The election is finally here, and for one I am glad it is almost over. I am tired of all the finger pointing, the vitriol, and the language of  “look what I am going to do for you.”  Hopefully with the election’s conclusion, we will rediscover what it means to be a little kinder, a bit more respectful and much less inclined toward demeaning the character of those whose opinions differ from ours.

In the effort to put things in perspective, I got up early this morning to watch the special political edition of Saturday Night Live which I had taped the night before. It was good just to laugh a bit, as I haven’t laughed much since the airwaves have filled up with incessant name calling and political double talk. You have probably heard the old joke which asks, "How do you know if a politician is lying? The answer is “His lips are moving." The joke would be hilarious if it weren't so true.

I need to be continually reminded that regardless of who sits in the oval office, that God still is comfortably ensconced on His heavenly throne. He is, and He will still be sovereign long after every ballot is cast and every vote is counted. 

Isaiah 55:8-9 provides us a good reminder of the fact that whatever is happening around us, God is still in control. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts your thoughts.” (ESV)

Whether you are Republican, Democrat, or  Independent, I would remind you that  God does not need any 'political party' help in directing the affairs of our nation, or the world for that matter.  I occasionally need to be reminded of this fact, and maybe you do, too. 

God is still in control, and He knows what He’s doing. He views things from a Sovereign perspective and His  plans may be surprisingly different from ours, for He maintains a “long range perspective” of history. Because He does, we can let the “big things" become the little things as long as they are in His hands.

Well, what can we do, for we are a political people, and the future of our country will be determined by the winner of this election? You can first calm down, and then you can do two things. You can vote, if you haven't already, and thank God you live in a country where your vote does matter. And secondly, you can, and you must pray that God's will shall be accomplished through this election process. Vote and pray. Paul writes Timothy and says, “I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgiving be made for all people-for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness."

It is simple, vote and pray and rest assured that when you lay your head on the pillow tonight, and awake tomorrow, God will still be right where He has always been, ruling and reigning and in complete control of the world and, yes, even of your life.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: What's It Like to Talk with Friends You Haven't Seen for Over 40 Years?

Dear Friends,

43 years is a long time to see a once familiar face. That is how long it has been since I have seen some of the friends Jean and I talked with last Saturday. These were friends I served with while I was pastoring an inner-city church in Philadelphia. On Saturday one of the children of one of those church members arranged a zoom call, and we were invited to participate.

Back in the 70’s when I was pastoring in the city of Philadelphia, we pursued a philosophy that the way to get people into the church was to get the church into the community. One of the ways we accomplished this was establishing a low cost ten-week summer camp for grades 5-12. The camp grew from 100 children the first year who paid just $10 for the whole five weeks-I said it was cheap- to a camp with over 550 children including a special needs camp for children with disabilities. The camp was named "Northwest Youth in Action," and was led by a staff of some seminary, college, and high school students, who together with a large number of volunteers from the church, were responsible for driving buses, teaching classes, coaching sports, leading worship, making lunches and above all loving on the children of that community. 

Last Saturday Jean and I had the privilege of personally renewing our friendship with some of those dear friends who were a part of our camp leadership teams. It was such a joy for us to share stories of how God brought us all together as a team to help make a difference in that community.  We laughed together as we recalled how my wife Jean got her CDL license so she could drive one of our buses. Can you imagine her behind the wheel of a school bus driving down one of the busy streets in Philly? 

For over an hour some 15 of us, both young and old swapped  memories of our seven years together at the Cedar Park Presbyterian Church. Although we had not personally seen many of those on the call since we left Philadelphia in 1979, those 7 years of inter-racial ministry  had forged relationships will never be forgotten. Despite time and distance, those friendships have endured throughout these many years, and I am blessed to say they are as  strong today as they  were in the 70’s. 

While we have kept in touch with a few of these friends through occasional calls and Christmas letters, we have not met face to face in over 40 years until we once again met on our Zoom call. As I prayed at the close of our time together, I thanked God for the wonderful friendships we cultivated back then and which still exist even until today.

 Friendships are not a luxury; they are a necessity, and the more friends you have, the happier you will be. This is especially true for pastors. The Lilly Endowment invested 

$84 million over 10 years to study what makes for excellence in ministry. One of their interesting discoveries was that “pastors need real, intimate, vulnerable friendships, if they are going to last in ministry; relationships with peers are the key factor to pastoral longevity.” ("Desiring God,” Pastors Need Friends Too, Feb. 10, 2018 taken from the Internet. I can personally attest to the truth of these findings after serving 7 churches, some a second time. As the song says, "People, and yes pastors who need people, are the luckiest people in the world"

It has been said that "God has given us memories, so that we might smell the roses in December,” and how grateful Jean and I are for the many wonderful memories we have of friends we have gathered along our spiritual journey.

In one of my favorite classic country songs by Merle Haggard and Willie Nelson titled “Unfair Weather Friends. If  you go on U tube  you will hear one of the great friendship songs ever written, and you will hear the following: 

(I)Might wind up stuck out on some old forgotten highway

Somehow, you’ll show up and sure enough be going’ my way

You’re always there, right where you’ve always been...

I don’t have to wonder where’ll you’ll be if I should need you

All I have to do is close my eyes and I can see you

Always there, right where you’ve always been

My come whatever, unfair weather friend.”

My eyes well up as I write these words. My prayer is that you still have a lot of those “unfair weather friends” in your memory bank. Why not take a moment today to ask God to bring to them to mind some of those special “unfair weather friends” who have touched your life? Grab the phone or grasp a pen and let them know how much you love them and how much they mean to you.  Or better yet, why not do as a lot of us old timers are  doing- call one of your kids or grand kids and let them  set up that zoom call for you. You will be glad you did, and so will those you call, because there is nothing like seeing the face and hearing the voice of one of those “unfair weather friends.”

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. “Where hearts are true, few words will do.”