Leadership Thought That Is Not a Typical Leadership Thought

Dear Friends,

Those who know me know that there are few people who love country music more than I do. Christian music and classic country are almost always emanating from my Alexa playlist or my computer via U Tube selections. 

Today after umpiring a high school baseball game in 40-degree weather, I needed something to thaw me out and warm my heart, so I went to U Tube and typed in "Grand Ole Opry at Carnegie Hall."

My friends, I spent the next hour and a half glued to the computer listening to some of the greatest legends of country music perform on the stage of the historic Carnegie Hall, and with tears streaming down my face, I  listening to the likes of  Alan Jackson singing "Remember When,"  Vince Gill, Rickey Skaggs and Alison Krause singing "Go Rest High on that Mountain," and  Brad Paisley and  Alison singing "Whiskey Lullaby." 

They were all on stage, some of country's greatest: Charlie Pride, Bill Anderson, Trace Atkins, Vince Gill, Martina McBride and Trisha Yearwood to name some of those featured Carnegie Hall performers.

Who said  country music and Carnegie Hall don't have anything in common?

Now I know this is not a  normal Leadership Thought, and I'm aware that this is not a day that I typically send out a message, but I felt like you might be in need of some music that will touch your heart and  keep your lips a 'smilin' and your feet a  'dancin' as you listen to little  Jimmy Dickens sing "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose." Yes, you heard me right-that is the song's title. But  if you want something  a little less satirical go to the end of the concert and listen to all those together on stage singing "Will the Circle Be Unbroken?" You'll be signing along.

Don't tell me Country Music is 'ole' fashioned. if you think that listen to the first song by Trace Atkins, "Songs about Me." 

Am I trying to make you a "classic country music fan? You betcha; there are certainly a lot of worse things you could be fans of.

Hope you have a great weekend. I will be looking forward to tomorrow night and our annual Fellowship of Christian Athletes Annual Fund-Raising Celebration whose featured speaker is  Greg Schiano, head football coach at Rutgers, and a great friend of the F.C.A.  

But as special as that will be, the most exciting part of the night for me will be when my dear wife, Jean, is posthumously recognized and honored with the presentation of an annual  F.C.A. award to be given in her name. 

For those who may not know it, I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1962 at an FCA Conference in Lake Geneva, Wisc., and together with Jean we have been involved in the ministry of the F.C.A. ministry throughout our 53 years of marriage. It was because of her love and support of the FCA, that the State Chapter of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes created a special award in her honor that will be given annually to a deserving young person. I am so glad that the memory of her will continue to live on through this annual award.

So, as I close, let me encourage you to click on the link below. The only annoying thing about listening to the concert is that you periodically have to click out of advertisements that will interrupt the presentations.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

GRAND OLE OPRY @ CARNEGIE HALL - YouTube

Leadership Thought: Why Men Don't Have Friends Who Are Men?

Dear Friends.

A few men in our church recently attended a "Stand Courageous"  men's conference. Present were 1,000 men, some with their sons, all eager to learn how to become the men and fathers God wants us to be.

One of the speakers was Stu Weber, a former US Army veteran, who was awarded three bronze stars as a green beret in Vietnam. Today he is a pastor and a  popular speaker who has written several books, including the 20-year bestseller Tender Warrior. 

I picked up a booklet containing excerpts from his book, Tender Warrior, and I want to share several of those excerpts with you.

Stu quotes a professor at Southern Methodist University who led a study on "Why Men Don't Have Friends Who Are Men."  

The professor writes, "To say that men have no intimate friends seems on the surface too harsh, and it raises quick objections from most men. But the data indicates that it is not far from the truth. Even the most intimate of friendships, (of which there are few) rarely approach the depth of disclosure a woman commonly has with other women.... Men, who neither bare themselves nor bear one another, are buddies in name only." (p.8)

Let's face it men. I think the professor nailed it. There is something that keeps us at arm’s length from one another. We can enjoy hunting, fishing, going to sporting events together, but when it comes down to close intimate relationships with one another, we tend to keep each other at arm’s length. 

Referring to a recent study in Britain, sociologist Mary Ann Crawford stated: "Middle- aged men and women had considerably different definitions of friendship. By an overwhelming margin, women talked about  "trust and confidentiality," while men described a friend as "someone I could go out with" or  "someone whose company I enjoy." For the most part, men's friendships revolve around activities  while women's revolve around sharing." (p.10).

Weber writes, "The warrior in us wants to be strong and needs to be strong. But we don't want to admit to any chinks in our armor. We don't want to admit to any vulnerabilities- the very element that is essential for true friendships. 0h, the vulnerabilities are there, all right. But most of us have learned to carefully hide them. Some might call that manliness. Others might more accurately label it for what it is: dishonesty...Friendships require honesty. Friendships require trust. So, it also -no way around it- requires vulnerability. I think that's the bottom line of this no- friends syndrome among us men. And it's spelled. PRIDE." (pp. 10-11)

The difference in conversations between men and women is often seen in the level of transparency, the kind of transparency that says, "I  am going to risk being open, and honest with you. I am going to let you see who I really am."

The question that men must ask of themselves is this: Are we willing to go deeper? Are we willing to be totally honest with one another about our fears, our struggles, our needs?

I am trying to do that, but it's not easy. How about you?

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. The quotes above are taken from "A Man and His Friends, Excerpts from Tender Warrior" by Stu Weber

Leadership Thought: We Need More Richard Stocktons in Our World Today

Dear Friends,

I have enjoyed reding the booklet Courageous Men, Stories from American History by Dr. Kenyn Cureton that I recently picked up at a Men's Retreat.                                                                                                      . 

As a former history teacher, I enjoy the study of American history, and especially history related to the founding fathers of our great nation.

If you read the letters and speeches by so many of our Revolutionary leaders, you are reminded again and again of how important their faith in God was in their efforts to create a new nation.

Unfortunately, today many students don't know about people like John Smith, the Father of Virginia or John Winthrop who took part in the Great Migration from England to America and was Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, or Richard Stockton from our own state of New Jersey who was captured and imprisoned by the British in our War for Independence, and whose name is affixed to an outstanding New Jersey college, Stockton College.

Part of the seminary I attended in Princeton, N.J. was located on Stockton Steet, named after Richard Stockton.

Stockton died in 1781. He was one of the original signers of the Declaration of Independence. 

However, what impressed me the most about him was his Last Will and Testament which he wrote with a view to his children.

"As my children will have frequent occasion of perusing this instrument and may probably be peculiarly impressed with the last words of their father, I think proper here, not only to subscribe to the entire belief of the great leading doctrines of the Christian religion, such as the being of a God, the universal defection and depravity of human nature, the divinity of the Person, and completeness of the redemption purchased by the blessed Savior, the necessity of the divine Spirit, of divine faith accompanied with an habitual virtuous life, in the universality of Divine Providence, but also in the bowels of a father's affection to charge and exhort them, to remember that "the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom" (Proverbs 9:10). 

As our spiritual heritage and culture continues to evaporate, it is important for us to remember that our nation's foundation was built on Godly principles found in the Bible.

Before John Winthrop, set foot on our nation's shores, he preached a sermon which included the familiar phrase "a city set on a hill," describing his hope that his new home would be a beacon of light for the world and a witness to the fact that it was God who had fashioned this new nation and that He would prosper and bless it.

Unfortunately, what we see today is a far cry from the nation our founders had hoped to build. Their vision for a Godly nation has been swallowed up by a godless and growing secularization that seeks to destroy the spiritual foundation on which our nation was established.

Oh, if we could only see those words of 2 Chronicles 7:14 lived out, what a radical change we would see in the fabric of our nation. 

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."

May that prayer be our prayer and may its promise be fulfilled as believers like you and me "humble ourselves and seek His face and turn from our wicked ways.

As Thomas Jefferson asked, "Can the God who gave us life and gave us liberty...... Can these liberties be secure when we have removed the conviction that these liberties are the gift of God. Indeed, I tremble for my country."

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Who Is on Your Hero's List and Do They Know It?

Dear Friends, 

Yesterday was one of those rainy days when there was not much to do but stay inside and catch up on things you've been putting off for a while.

As I was taking a momentary break and relaxing in my comfortable lounge chair, my thoughts drifted back to my past, and I began thinking of how lucky I was to have been blessed with so many wonderful people in my life.

As my mind drifted back to my early childhood, I thought of my mom, some coaches, and a couple of pastors. Moving forward in time I began recalling other significant influencers who touched my life in different ways.  There were several church friends, a writer, a well-known church leader, and a staff member-all of whom uniquely shaped and impacted my life.

And not wanting to forget these people and what they had meant to me, I slid out of my chair to my desk and began typing their names on my computer screen, and with each name, I typed a few lines about what made them so special to me. 

For the next three hours, I continued my memory journey until I finally stopped with four pages of history staring at me from my computer screen. And when I stopped typing, I was quickly reminded of other names I had left out and who should be included on what I now call my "Heroes List."

I now knew the next step in my remembrance journey was to say thanks to those on the list who were still living and let them know how their lives had made a difference in mine. 

My first opportunity came later on in the day when I had dinner with a couple of neighborhood friends whose names were on my list. I wanted them to personally know how much their friendship had meant to me.

Unfortunately, many of those whose names are included on my list have long since passed away and will never know the impact they had on me on this side of eternity. However, I intend to do everything I can to remind those who are still living that a part of their life is living on in me.

"So what's your point, Tom?" My point is simple. We all have special people in our life- those heroes who have shaped and impacted us-those who have been difference maker for us - they need to know how important they are to us.

Let none of us be guilty of being "tombstone encouragers." If you know of people who are still living who have made a difference in your life, get on the phone, or grab a pen and some paper and drop them a note and let them know how grateful you are for them. Do it now. Do it today while they are still 'living' memories. 

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. "If you know the praise is due him, 

         Now's the time to give it to him, 

         For he cannot read his tombstone when he's gone."

Leadership Thought: Did You Ever Consider Prayer as a Form of Encouragement?

Dear Friends,

There are many easy ways to encourage someone. You can write a note, speak a kind word, offer a hug, pay a visit, but one of the most unrecognized and neglected forms of encouragement is prayer.

Paul encouraged Timothy this way: "I thank God, whom I serve, as my ancestors did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers" (2 Timothy 1-3). 

Again and again the bible encourages us to pray for one another. Praying gets our focus off ourselves and onto the needs of those around us. As we "carry each other burdens," we "fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2).

It has been said that the church moves forward the fastest when it's on its knees. 

Every Thursday a group from our church gathers before daybreak to spend time with one another in prayer. 

It was Jesus who we are told got up a long time before dawn to go and pray, (Mark 1:35) and what better cue could one take than to follow the pattern of the prayer life of Jesus. This early morning hour is my favorite time of the week, for I look forward to getting together to pray with one another.

Prayer is one of the greatest forms of encouragement, for it encourages both the one who offers it as well as the one who receives it. When I leave that prayer time each Thursday, I am spiritually uplifted and encouraged, and I know I have participated in one of the most important ministries of the church- the ministry of prayer.

Before entering the doors of the church each Sunday, I offer a brief and silent prayer: "O Lord, please lead me to someone to whom I might be able to minister to this morning." When I am led to such a person, I try to listen well as I seek to hear some spoken or unspoken  need. When I conclude our time together, I simply ask "May I pray for you." People seldom refuse the offer.

I don't want to ever miss the opportunity of encouraging someone by offering them the gift of prayer.  If you have the opportunity to pray for someone 'now,' don't ever put it off. Unfortunately, there is nothing quite so neglected as unspoken prayer.

If all of us were to look for opportunities to pray and be used in ministry when we enter the doors of the church, there would be a spiritual tsunami of encouragement sweeping though the congregation. People would no longer hurry out the door to the parking lot, but instead the church would be filled with the sweet fragrance of prayer ascending heavenward.

In a former church I served we had prayer/encouragement cards in the pews. People would take them, write on them a word of prayerful encouragement, indicate the person to whom the encouragement was meant, and then drop the card in one of the offering boxes. Those cards would then be collected and mailed out by our secretaries on Monday morning to the people for whom they were intended. 

Sometimes those notes were unsigned, adding a kind of mystery for the receiver who would try to figure out who it was that was praying for and encouraging them.

Visiting people in the hospital before surgery is a wonderful way of offering encouragement. People undergoing surgery are among the most receptive and appreciative of this encouraging gift.

I frequently call  or e-mail the people for whom we have prayed on Thursday mornings to let them know that they were prayed for. I can't tell you how grateful those people are to learn that the church cares for them and has remembered to pray for them.

In several churches in which I served, there were a group of people who would pray and lay hands on me before I entered the pulpit as well as another group of people praying for me as I delivered the message.

It was said that the boiler room was the source of Charles Spurgeon's pulpit power. Each Sunday there were as many as 300 people on their knees praying that the words of their pastor would reach the hearts of his listeners. Whenever Spurgeon was asked the secret of his power, he would always explain, "it is the boiler room."

Following the close of our services, prayer counselors are always available to pray and offer encouragement to those who have needs.

One of the greatest examples of encouragement for me took place in 2023, shortly before my wife had passed away. All my children had arrived to say their final goodbyes to their mom, and I was scheduled to preach. Although I felt I was well prepared, I was not aware of how physically and emotionally exhausted I was, and suddenly I found myself standing in the pulpit experiencing an emotional meltdown. I couldn't get a word out of my mouth. Speechless and embarrassed, I stood there trying to pull myself together, but the words wouldn't come. I apologized and told our congregation that I just couldn't deliver the message that morning, and then I turned and started off the stage.

One of our pastors suddenly stood up and called the congregation to prayer. He directed us to assemble in small prayer groups all over the church, and for the next 45 minutes those groups  prayed for me, Jean, my family and the church to close the service the groups gathered around me and prayed as they laid hands on me.

To this day I tell the congregation that it was the greatest sermon 'never' preached, and I still hear stories from those present as to how encouraged they were to see and experience the powerful moving of the spirit  amidst our congregation. I will never forget how this powerful expression of prayerful love and encouragement touched and blessed my life.

I close with the words of Spurgeon who writes, "If a church does not pray, it is dead.  Instead of putting united prayer last, put it first. Everything will hinge upon the power of prayer in the church."

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Follow up to "It's Friday but Sunday's 'Comin,'" or Be Careful Who You Invite to Fill Your Pulpit-It Might Be Tony Campolo

Dear Friends,

I have received a lot of comments from my recent Leadership Thought in which I shared the poem,  "It's Friday but Sunday is Comin." 

Lo and behold, one of my readers and one of our church elders who was speaking at our Good Friday service even used it to close out his message.

A number of years ago, author, professor, and nationally known speaker Tony Campolo, shared a rendition of this poem in a message that continues to be heard all over the Christian world. 

Tony, who joined us several times when I was pastoring in Red Bank, N.J., was one of the most unforgettable preachers you will ever hear. When he preaches you either clap or throw rocks, for he has a way of stirring up your emotions.

I will never forget the first time he spoke at our church, a church that was fairly affluent and whose parking lot was generally filled with its share of Mercedes Benz's, and other high end luxury cars.  

Tony looked out at our congregation and asked this question: "If Jesus lived in Haiti and had $40,000 to spend, would he spend it on the purchase of a Mercedes Benz?" 

Some members laughed and others started looking for the nearest exit.

I still remember thinking to myself this may be my last day at this church's pastor.

People in that church still talk about the message, at least those who stayed!

Tony, who has been battling health issues of late, is no longer able to preach, but when he was in the pulpit, he was one of the most stirring and effective communicators one would ever hear.

I still remember the message on discipleship he shared many years ago at a summer  Creation Festival I attended in central  Pennsylvania. It was a message that transformed my life and my ministry, and I will forever be indebted to him for that message.

You will seldom, if ever, hear a more humorous, and more powerful rendition of this poem, so take a couple minutes to listen, and hang on to your seat for what you will hear will leave you saying, "Wow, I never heard anything like that before from any pulpit." 

That's Tony, unbridled, unfiltered, and unpoetically sold out to Jesus. Don't miss what he shares below.

Yours in faith and friendship.

Tom

www.youtube.com › watch It’s Friday....Sunday's Comin'! - YouTube

Leadership Thought: It's Friday, but Sunday's 'Comin'

Dear Friends,

S. M. Lockridge (born Shadrach Meshach Lockridge, March 7, 1913 — April 4, 2000) was the Pastor of Calvary Baptist Church, a prominent African-American congregation located in San Diego, California, from 1953 to 1993.

The poem below comes from a Good Friday message he preached at his church.

It’s Friday

Jesus is praying
Peter’s a sleeping
Judas is betraying
But Sunday’s comin’!

It’s Friday
Pilate’s struggling
The council is conspiring
The crowd is vilifying
They don’t even know
That Sunday’s comin’!

It’s Friday
The disciples are running
Like sheep without a shepherd
Mary’s crying
Peter is denying
But they don’t know
That Sunday’s a comin’!

It’s Friday
The Romans beat my Jesus
They robe him in scarlet
They crown him with thorns
But they don’t know
That Sunday’s comin’!

It’s Friday
See Jesus walking to Calvary
His blood dripping
His body stumbling
And his spirit’s burdened
But you see, it’s only Friday
Sunday’s comin’!

It’s Friday
The world’s winning
People are sinning
And evil’s grinning.

It’s Friday
The soldiers nail my Savior’s hands
To the cross
They nail my Savior’s feet
To the cross
And then they raise him up
Next to criminals.

It’s Friday
But let me tell you something
Sunday’s comin’!

It’s Friday
The disciples are questioning
What has happened to their King
And the Pharisees are celebrating
That their scheming
Has been achieved
But they don’t know
It’s only Friday
Sunday’s comin’!

It’s Friday
He’s hanging on the cross
Feeling forsaken by his Father
Left alone and dying
Can nobody save him?
Ooooh
It’s Friday
But Sunday’s comin’!

It’s Friday
The earth trembles
The sky grows dark
My King yields his spirit.

It’s Friday
Hope is lost
Death has won
Sin has conquered
and Satan’s just a laughin’.

It’s Friday
Jesus is buried
A soldier stands guard
And a rock is rolled into place.

But it’s Friday
It is only Friday

Sunday is a comin’!

Yes, Sunday is a 'comin', and that is the reason the bad news of Friday becomes the great good news  of Easter. He is Risen!

May your Easter be filled with resurrection  joy.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom