Thought for the Day: What I learned About Encouragement from Watching My Grandson Play Baseball Yesterday

Dear Friends

Yesterday after church we traveled down to Glassboro to watch my grandson play baseball. He is a sophomore pitcher for St Lawrence University, and his team was playing Rowan College in their season opener. We arrived late for the first game, only to see the scoreboard results: Rowan 14, St Lawrence 1. We got ready to watch the second game thinking St. Lawrence will surely play better. Unfortunately, that was not to be the case as the Rowan “Profs” played more like professional baseball players than college professors. The Profs erupted for 8 runs in the first inning and coasted to 14-6 victory in the second game. 

Now granted St Lawrence University is located in the frigid reaches of Polar Bear country in Canton, New York where last week they endured a two-day blizzard which  dumped  over three feet of snow on their baseball field. The team has not had one day of practice outside of the field house since their season began. So, to say they were unprepared for the game is an understatement. The Profs quickly quelled any hopes that the score of the second game would be any less lopsided than the opener, erupting for 8 runs in the first inning and going on for an easy 14-6 victory.

What impressed me, however, was not the wide disparity of abilities between the two teams, but the incredible enthusiasm of the St Lawrence parents, many of whom traveled from as far as Massachusetts, Connecticut and upstate New York to cheer on their sons. Despite the lopsided score, 8-0 after the first inning, you might have thought you were witnessing a one run nail biter that might be decided in the last inning.

Jean and I watched in amazement as the St Lawrence fans cheered their team on despite the score. When my grandson took the mound, the crowd erupted in a chorus of cheers for “Huck” Hahn. Yes, "Huck" short  for Huckleberry,  which tells you something about his parents who stuck him with that middle name. As “Huck” strolled to the mound, you would have thought he was entering the 9^th inning of game 7 of a deadlocked World Series game.  What an ovation he received as he  entered the game. He is the team’s closer, but not much to close in a game where they were 8 runs down in the final inning.  Huck took to the mound and gave the St Lawrence fans something to cheer about as he quickly retired the side, with two strikeouts and a weak fly to the shortstop.

Now you may be wondering what all of this has to do with my “Leadership Thought” for the day. Is there any motivation beyond providing an opportunity for me to brag a little about a grandson, who may be the only pitcher in the county who bears that name "Huck?" The answer is yes. My motivation derives from witnessing the enthusiasm of the St Lawrence fans who despite the scoreboard remained wildly enthusiastic about their team, and especially one Huckleberry Hahn.

Richard De Voss, the founder of Amway was asked one time in a television interview,  “What is the most important management skill you learned in the process of building the Amway Company?” This is what he said. “The most important management skill I learned was how to be a cheerleader.” The Joy of Encouragement, David Jeremiah, p. 130

Everyone needs cheerleaders in their life, but perhaps not as much as those undermanned and outperformed teammates on that St Lawrence University squad needed it, and thank goodness yesterday they received it in an overflowing supply. In the years ahead, those players may forget the lopsided scores of those two games, but they will never forget their fans and the encouragement they received from some of the best cheerleaders in the world.

Is there someone you know who might benefit from a little encouragement?  You might be the cheerleader whose words of hope and encouragement are just what is needed to see them through some trial and spur them on to some great victory.

Yours in faith and friendship,
Pastor Tom

Leadership Thought: The 30 Second Rule, and What I Learned on my Trip to a Christian University

Dear Friends,

I received some reaction to my message yesterday in which I challenged introverts to cease using their personality type as an excuse for not taking the first step in reaching out and relating to others. I made it a point to declare that I was not in any way disparaging introverts, for as I stated, "I is one of them kind.”

The whole point I was trying to make is that if you are more on the introverted side, work hard to be an extrovert when you are meeting people. Don't use your personality type as an excuse for not being outgoing when you have an opportunity to meet and engage others.

I reasoned from my experience yesterday while attending a pastors’ conference at a Christian university, that there must have been a  lot of introverted types on campus. Between sessions I decided to take an informal campus survey to determine how friendly and outgoing Christian  students would be to a total stranger. I  didn’t believe that students would perceive me to be dangerous or foreboding, and yet only two of the over 30  plus students I passed on my 300-yard journey spoke or even made eye contact with me. Now admittedly this was far from being anything close to a  serious scientific survey, but it did give me cause to wonder why so few at  Christian university  would not even make eye contact, let along speak to me.

Last night at our men's spiritual leadership class, one member mentioned how the vast majority of those he met while traveling in Germany and the Netherlands went out of their way to be friendly and welcoming to a stranger. Yes, another unempirical survey, but again another incident that reminded me that we Americans aren't the friendliest people on the face of the planet. Now that I have gotten this bit of information off my chest, let me comment on “The 30 Second Rule” which in yesterday’s “Leadership Thought” I mentioned I would share with you.

The Thirty Second Rule is simply a reminder that when meeting and talking with people, we should immediately focus our attention on them and not on ourselves. During the time you are with them, you are searching for ways to make them feel and look good. You are to remind yourself that your goal is not to be impressive but to be impressed. Try to think of something encouraging to say to them. You might compliment them by saying “You have a wonderful smile”, or “you seem to be so comfortable with children”, or I couldn’t help notice how helpful you were one of our members.”

I often imagine the person with whom I am talking is wearing a large name tag that reads "Please help me feel important." Someone else suggests that he always perceives his mother’s face on the person with whom he is talking, and hopefully this will keep your comments warm and encouraging. During the conversation, I may often ask the person, “Do you know what I like about you”, and then I specify the things that impressed me about them. Please, no phony baloney stuff, but make sure your compliments are honest, genuine, and  sincere.

As Mother Teresa, the Roman Catholic nun and missionary once remarked, “Make sure that anyone who comes to you always leaves you happier and healthier.” Whether introverts or extroverts, that’s good advice for all of us to heed.

Yours in faith and friendship,
Pastor Tom

Leadership Thought: Stop Using the Excuse, I Am an Introvert

Dear Friends,

I have a recommendation for those of you who may feel and act the role of an introvert. Simply put I would say to you, “Get over it.” Get outside yourself, ignore your comfort zone and stop acting the role of an introvert when you are around people, especially unbelievers with whom you should be looking to build bridges of friendship.

Now I am not out to disparage those of you out there who are card-carrying introverts, for I is.

Few know that my extroverted behavior is really the product of intentionally getting outside my introverted comfort zone. If I want to get to know those people sitting on my left or right in church on Sunday, I may have to take the first step in engaging them. How will people ever get to know Christ if we avoid the first step in building a friendship?

I believe the person was right who said, “It is easier to act your way into a new set of feelings than to feel your way into a new set of actions.” You may feel and act like you are an introvert, but if you force yourself to act the part of an extrovert, you may be surprised to discover that often your heart (feelings) will follow.

I am the guy at the party, who left to myself, would probably remain off in a corner quietly talking with someone about a great book I read, or a movie I saw, or a product I purchased at my favorite grocery store-Aldi’s for those who might want to know. While I am off in the corner, Jean will probably be surrounded by a group of people trying to aggressively outtalk each other and loving every minute of the interaction. When I come home from the party, I am exhausted. Jean, on the other hand, is energized and even disappointed to be home. Why is this? It is because God made us different.

As a pastor, I know it is important to engage people, so I generally try to take the initiative in meeting people. I don't allow my natural introverted behavior to take control, and so I fight with everything within me to get outside my comfort zone. It isn't easy like a lot of things in life, but I can't tell you the number of times I have been blessed by a friendship that started with my willingness to take the initiative in reaching out to meet another person.

Why do I share this information? Because meeting people, and building relationships is something that as believers we should all should be looking to do. Unfortunately, I have seen all too many people holding back from meeting and getting to know others in the church. They even go so far as to sit as close as possible to the exit door, so they can make a quick escape following the closing words of the service. Enough said, but for those of you who might be interested in getting outside your comfort zone, I will share some practical tips including, “The 30 Second Rule.” Talk with you tomorrow.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Pastor Tom

Leadership Thought: What's Your Purpose in Life? 

Dear Friends,

Yesterday at our staff meeting I played a brief two-minute message from John Maxwell on finding your purpose in life. I thought it was an excellent message and one that would challenge each of us to think or rethink our purpose in life. John Maxwell simply said that the way we find our purpose in life is to determine our passion and discover our gifts and talents and when we do this, we will find our purpose, or what God has designed and created us to do.

When we look at our passion and ask ourselves what excites us, what energizes us and keeps us awake at night and combine that with what we are good at, our natural talents and our giftings, we will discover our purpose, or what God has designed us to do.

Each of us went around the table wrestling with these two questions: "What is our passion" and "what do we do well," and the discussion which ensued was so valuable that I thought it worth sharing with you. One of the hardest things about answering these questions was to acknowledge what we were good at for we all feared  being accused of being prideful, and yet in doing the exercise I was wonderfully reminded that what I am good at has nothing to do with me, for it is all due to Him. God is the giver of my passion and He is also the giver of not only my gifts, but my natural attributes and abilities, so why should I be embarrassed to acknowledge what I excel in since any abilities that I possess are not my own but simply a gift from Him.

That is why one speaker I know, who, after being applauded for delivering a message, will simply turn and say to his audience, "Thanks, but you are not applauding me, but you are applauding God for He is the one who has enabled me to do what I do well."

So, what's your purpose in life, and if you know it, how well are you fulfilling it? If the answer is not very well, then maybe today is the day you make some lifestyle alterations.

Hopefully when you do, your purpose will look something akin to the answer given  in the Westminster Shorter Catechism to the question "What is the chief end of man? It is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever."

Yours in faith and friendship,

Pastor Tom

Thought for the Day “Putting People in Their Right Place to Succeed”

Dear Friends,

Last night at our elders’ meeting we were discussing potential leaders for our church.  Essentially, we were trying to figure out how to “put people in their right place.” Who among our members is best suited to be a deacon, elder, or trustee? The discussion got me to thinking about my coaching days.

As a former basketball and football coach, I know the importance of “putting people in their right place” to be successful. Successful coaches know the value of using players in a way that maximizes their talents and abilities. You wouldn't put the smallest member of your basketball team at center where someone tall is needed to rebound or the slowest member of your team at guard where someone with speed is needed to lead a fast break. 

I remember reading about a coach who wanted to teach his players the importance of placing players where their size and abilities could best be utilized. One day in practice he took his five starters and played each of them in different positions than they were accustomed to playing. A guard was designated to play center, a center was asked to bring the ball up court and play the role of a guard and the forward was asked to play out front where he would distribute the ball. He pitted them against the second team in a practice scrimmage game, and the second team easily defeated the starters.

It is important for a coach or a leader to know how to put his team members in positions where their strengths and abilities can be maximized. Like a coach, sometimes a leader must move his members around before he puts together his best team. If  team members are being asked to do something they are not suited for, the chances are that the team will not realize its full potential. Teams will do best when each member is placed in a position where their strengths or “sweet spots” are maximized.

I read about a pastor who every year asked each of his team if there was anything  they would rather be doing, and if so, what would it be? From those answers he got a clue about whether members might be moved to different roles to better utilize their strengths and abilities. 

A good leader is not afraid to move people around until he/she finds a place where they best fit.

As a leader it may mean making three or four moves before you get it right, but never be afraid to experiment. You might find you have a star in the making, ready to suddenly shine, all because “you put them in their place.”

Yours in faith and friendship,

Pastor Tom

Leadership Thought: Words of Hope to a Stage 3B Cancer Recipient

Dear Friends

Napoleon once said that leaders are dealers of hope. Hope is a necessary commodity for all those who want to live healthy and satisfying lives. Someone said, “We can live four weeks without food, four days without water, four  minutes without air but four seconds without hope. Hope keeps us going.” Hope is grief’s best music,” (Henry George Bohn, Encyclopedia of Quotations, Edyth Draper, p. 321)

A year ago, I was diagnosed with stage 3B colon cancer. I remember the shock I felt when I heard the report of the biopsy. Stage 3 was bad enough, but to add a B to it was like a sucker punch to the gut. It was like Stage 3 or 3A weren’t dire enough, so they  stretched my diagnoses as close to the edge of Stage 4 as possible.

As I sat in his office, I was shocked when I heard those words from my oncologist, Dr. Laughinghouse: "You have stage 3B cancer." With my wife, Jean, and my daughter Betsy sitting on either side of me, his words hit me hard, and with his words still fresh in my mind, I remember my efforts to take control of the situation.

Looking Dr. Laughinghouse straight in the eye, I shared my faith and confidence in him, and I assured him that whatever time I had left I planned to do everything I could do to fight this disease that had threatened my  life. I am sure he sensed some resignation in my response, and in return he spoke some words I will never forget. He said. 'We are not here to prolong your life; we are going for the cure."

Since that meeting in his office,  I have tightly clung to the hope these words have brought me. And so, I began my 10-month battle with chemo fortified with the hope that the goal of my treatment was not simply to prolong my life but to "go for the cure."

Proverbs  18:21 remind us that “the tongue has the power of life and death”, so we need to be especially careful that we use it to help and heal others. .

The Apostle Paul  reminds us that we are “to encourage one another and build others up just as in fact you are doing” 1 Thess, 5:11.

Years ago, I remember hearing Richard De Vos, the founder of Amway, talk about the importance of the” positive push.” Everyone needs a “positive push”, he said,  and then he went on to explain that  ”People can go further than they think they can when someone else thinks they can.”

Wherever we go, we should be hope dispensers, always looking for ways to use our words and actions to distribute large amounts of hope to everyone. Why everyone? Because everyone needs hope of some kind.

Eliphaz speaks these words about his friend Job: “Your words have supported those who have stumbled. You have strengthened feeble knees.”

Good words  and good advice. Do you know anyone who is stumbling along the pathway of life? Do you know anyone  in need of strengthened knees? If so, you have ministry to do and hope to dispense. It just might impact someone’s life just as it did mine.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Pastor Tom

Thought for the Day: Let's Be Lifters and Lookers

Dear Friends

I want to remind you that we can either be the wind beneath someone's wings or the anchor in their boat. Leaders should be both lifters and lookers. We should be Lifters who lighten other's loads and we should be Lookers, always on the lookout for ways to inspire and encourage others.

Mother Teresa once said, "Let no one ever come to you without leaving healthier or happier."   There are far too many people who act like anchors in our boat. They are intent on dragging others down. They possess the attitude that communicates "If I can't be happy, neither should you be happy."

Leaders should be fire lighters, who comes along side of others and help ignite their dreams.  “You can do it,” "I’m with you,” “You can count on me" are some of the words in the vocabulary of the fire lighter.  Every one of us needs firelighters in our lives.  But unfortunately, there are also  fire fighters in our lives. These re the people intent on dousing dreams and dampening spirits. The fire fighter pours water on the flames of enthusiasm.  His vocabulary consists of phrases like,  “You can never do it,” “the task is insurmountable,” “you don’t have the resources," "you don’t have the background, or you lack the experience.”  The words of the firefighter will leave you discouraged and  ready to quit.

David Mains tells the story of how he and his wife sought to address some behavior issues with their four-year old son Jeremy. He had a habit that they wanted to break, but they were making Iittle progress. They had tried everything until as a final resort they applied physical discipline, spanking. When the conversation was restored, his wife, Karen, asked the chastised little boy, ' Jeremy, what are we going to do with you?" Fully contrite, he slowly answered, Why, don't you 'just throw me in the garbage.  " Moody Monthly,", Summer 1982 p. 43.

And you know there are many people in life, who like little Jeremy, feel like they have been thrown into  the dumpster.  They don't feel as if anyone cares about them. They feel they are without value, good for nothing except to be cast on the garbage pile.

Several years ago, Anne Murray popularized a song whose lyrics remind me off something we all need:

“I cried a tear, you wiped it dry
I was confused, you cleared my mind
I sold my soul, you bought it back for me
And held me up and gave me dignity
Somehow you needed me

You gave me strength to stand alone again
To face the world out on my own again
You put me high upon a pedestal
So high that I could almost see eternity
You needed me, you needed me

And I can't believe it's you
I can't believe it's true
I needed you and you were there
And I'll never leave, why should I leave?
I'd be a fool 'cause I finally found someone who really cares”

We all have a need to be needed. We want to know that people care for us. We want them to affirm our value and importance. We want someone who we know truly cares for us and will be there whenever we have an unmet need. We want to know we are of value and that we are important to someone. Blessed is the person who knows he or she is needed and has someone who really cares enough to provide for that need.

Today let's be Lifters of someone's arms, helping to share their heavy load. Let's be Lookers, intentionally seeking out that person who needs someone to inspire and encourage them. If you do, not only will you bless someone but you yourself with be blessed for the greater blessing comes to the one who gives, not to the one who receives.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Pastor Tom