Leadership Thought: Stop Using the Excuse, I Am an Introvert

Dear Friends,

I have a recommendation for those of you who may feel and act the role of an introvert. Simply put I would say to you, “Get over it.” Get outside yourself, ignore your comfort zone and stop acting the role of an introvert when you are around people, especially unbelievers with whom you should be looking to build bridges of friendship.

Now I am not out to disparage those of you out there who are card-carrying introverts, for I is.

Few know that my extroverted behavior is really the product of intentionally getting outside my introverted comfort zone. If I want to get to know those people sitting on my left or right in church on Sunday, I may have to take the first step in engaging them. How will people ever get to know Christ if we avoid the first step in building a friendship?

I believe the person was right who said, “It is easier to act your way into a new set of feelings than to feel your way into a new set of actions.” You may feel and act like you are an introvert, but if you force yourself to act the part of an extrovert, you may be surprised to discover that often your heart (feelings) will follow.

I am the guy at the party, who left to myself, would probably remain off in a corner quietly talking with someone about a great book I read, or a movie I saw, or a product I purchased at my favorite grocery store-Aldi’s for those who might want to know. While I am off in the corner, Jean will probably be surrounded by a group of people trying to aggressively outtalk each other and loving every minute of the interaction. When I come home from the party, I am exhausted. Jean, on the other hand, is energized and even disappointed to be home. Why is this? It is because God made us different.

As a pastor, I know it is important to engage people, so I generally try to take the initiative in meeting people. I don't allow my natural introverted behavior to take control, and so I fight with everything within me to get outside my comfort zone. It isn't easy like a lot of things in life, but I can't tell you the number of times I have been blessed by a friendship that started with my willingness to take the initiative in reaching out to meet another person.

Why do I share this information? Because meeting people, and building relationships is something that as believers we should all should be looking to do. Unfortunately, I have seen all too many people holding back from meeting and getting to know others in the church. They even go so far as to sit as close as possible to the exit door, so they can make a quick escape following the closing words of the service. Enough said, but for those of you who might be interested in getting outside your comfort zone, I will share some practical tips including, “The 30 Second Rule.” Talk with you tomorrow.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Pastor Tom