Leadership Thought: Lead with Your Ears and Follow up with Your Tongue.

Dear Friends

I love the Message Bible translation of James 1:19: “Lead with your ears and follow up with your tongue and let anger straggle along to the rear.” The verse reminds me of the story of the mother who came home after a long hard day. Her little girl ran out of the house to greet her. “Mommy, Mommy, wait until I tell you what happened today”. After listening to a few sentences, the mother responded indicating the rest could wait as she needed to get dinner started. During the meal, the phone rang, then other family members’ stories were longer and louder than the little girl’s. Once again, she tried to talk with her mom after the kitchen was cleaned, and the brother’s homework questions were answered, but then it was time for her to get ready for bed.

The mom came to tuck the little girl in bed, and quickly listened to her prayer. As she bent down to tousle the little one’s curls and to kiss her soft cheek, the child woke up and asked, “Mommy, do you really love me even if you don’t have time to listen to me?” Ouch! (Taken from Stories from the Heart, Alice Grey)

I don’t profess to be the greatest listener in the world. I try, but there have been all too many times in my life when I have been guilty of allowing the busyness of  my life to crowd out my ability to listen to another with a genuine listening ear and a caring heart.

 Someone remarked “a ‘good’ listener is one who can give you his full attention without  hearing a word you say,” and sadly, I confess that I have the ability to be just that kind of "good listener."

One of the best ways we can show our love and concern for another is by listening to them. The late author and speaker Bruce Larson has said  “One of the best ways to demonstrate God’s love is to listen to people.” How true it is that listening is simply another word for caring.

When I was serving in another church, I received a call from my secretary that there was a young girl  downstairs who needed to talk with someone. When I came down, I found her overcome with emotion. As we walked up to my office, tears were falling as she began unraveling her story. To make a long story short, her life was collapsing all around her, and she didn’t think there was anyone who cared. We sat down in my office, and for the next 45 minutes she poured out her life to me. I didn’t say much. I just tried to listen and ask a few questions. As the end of our time together, she got up, and thanked me and then she spoke words  I will never forget. She said, “I really feel much better now, and I am so glad that I had a chance to talk with you.”

I only wish that every one of my counseling sessions turned out like this one. What she was saying was that she was grateful that someone took the time to listen to her. So many times, what people need most is not the semblance of a sermon but the solace of silence. They just need a listening  ear. As a pastor, I confess I am often much better at delivering a sermon than I am ‘distributing’ silence, and maybe you can identify with me.

Let me encourage each one of us to work on our  listening skills, always keeping in mind that almost always it is  more important to speak less and listen more.  Remember one of the greatest and most lasting gifts you can give to anyone is a listening ear and a caring heart. That is the kind of 'counseling' that will truly make a difference in another's life.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. And remember that “A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something.” Wilson Mizner