Leadership Thought: Could We Please Have a Little More Civility in Our Nation?

Dear Friends,

For the past six days, Jean and I have been visiting my son and his family who live in Savannah, GA. One of the things I enjoy doing whenever I’m away from home is taking my own walking tours, and there are a lot of historic places to observe in downtown Savannah, so I would often put in four or five miles a day just walking the streets of the city.

In walking, I always try to be a “Me First” kind of guy. By this I mean I want to practice civility by being the first one to extend a greeting to any passerby. Looking  people in the eye as they passed by, I would greet them with a robust, “Good morning.”  It was amazing to me that even in the South where I thought civility was born, how few people would take the time to look me in the eye and respond. Maybe they were surprised that someone would take the time to recognize them.

I went to school in the South where they still say, “Yes, ma'am,  and no sir,” and maybe it's my military upbringing- my dad was a Colonel in the army, and I attended Virginia Military Institute- but I still like and frequently use those words today. I like them a lot better than “Yeah” and “ Nah.”

I  may be old fashioned but I long for those days when strangers would look each other in the eye as they walked by and acknowledge  one another, even if it was only with a grunting  “good morning.” I miss those days when a handshake was a “real” handshake and the person whom you were greeting looked you in the eye and squeezed your hand so hard it made you want to shout, “I give up.”

I am afraid we have lost that kind of civility in our polarized times and this is disturbing. The apostle Paul writes “in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest or others” (Philippians 2:4), and again in Romans 13:7, he writes ”Give to everyone what you owe them . . . if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. And who can forget what Jesus has taught us about loving one another?”

I close with a story that always reminds me of the way we should treat others. A family went into a restaurant. The waitress walked up and looking at the young boy in the family, said, “What will it be?”

The boy eagerly shouted back: “I'll take a hamburger, french fries, and a chocolate shake.”

The mother immediately interrupted, “Oh, that's not what he wants. He'll take the roast beef, a baked potato, and a glass of milk.” Much to the surprise of both the mother and the boy, the waitress completely ignored her and again asked the little boy: “And what do you want on that hamburger?”

The boy shouted back, “Ketchup, lots of ketchup.”

“And what kind of shake?” “Make it chocolate.” The boy then turned to his parents with a big smile on his face and said, “See , ain't she something?  She thinks that I'm real.”

The next time someone walks by you without speaking, maybe you should reach out and grab their arm, look them in the eye, and enthusiastically remind them of who you are by saying, “My friend, look at me, for I'M REAL!” 

Just a few thoughts from someone born in the Iron Age.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom