Dear Friends,
I love the Message Bible’s translation of James 1:19: "Lead with
your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the
rear.” The verse reminds me of the story of the mother who came home after a
long hard day at work. Her little girl ran out of the house eager to greet her.
“Mommy, mommy, wait until I tell you what happened today?”
After listening to a few sentences, the mother responded by
indicating the rest of the story would have to wait as she needed to get dinner
started. During the meal, the phone rang, and then another family member’s
story was longer and louder than the little girl’s story. Once again, she tried
to share her story after the kitchen was cleared. but her brother's homework
questions had to be answered, and by then it was time for her to get
ready for bed with her story still untold.
Her mother came to tuck her little girl in and quickly listened to
her prayers. As she bent down to tousle her little girl’s curls and to kiss her
soft cheek , the child looked up and asked, "Mommy, do you really love me
even if you don't have time to listen to me?” (Stories from the Heart,
Alice Gray.
One of the best ways that we can show our love for someone
and demonstrate we care about them is by listening to them. The late author and
speaker Bruce Larson was right when he wrote that “one of the best ways to
demonstrate God's love is to listen to people?”
How true his words were. Listening is simply another word for
caring. I don't profess to be the greatest listener in the world, but I try,
but there have been all too many times in my life when I have been guilty of
allowing the busyness of my life to crowd out my ability to listen to another
with a caring and compassionate concern.
Someone facetiously said, "A ‘good' listener is one who can
give you his full attention without hearing a word you say,” and sadly, I
confess I have the ability to be just that kind of listener.
How often by just taking the time to lovingly listen to someone’s
painful story, we can help heal the hurts of their breaking heart. I remember
just such an incident. It was an unplanned counseling appointment that arrived
in my office at the height of a very busy day. As this young girl sat across
from me, tears were streaming down her face as she began sharing her
story. Her life was unraveling around her, and she didn't think there was
anyone who cared about what she was going through. For the next 45 minutes she
poured out her life story to me. I hardly said a word. I just tried to listen
and hear her heart, and at the end of our time together, she got up and thanked
me, and said, “I am so glad I got to talk with you, for I really feel so much
better now," and she left my office. I only wished that all my
counseling appointments turned out like this one.
But what she was saying was that she was grateful that someone had
taken the time to listen to her. So many times, what people need most is not
the semblance of a sermon but only the solace of some silence. I confess that I
am probably much better at delivering sermons then silence.
Let me encourage you today to work on your active listening
skills. Try extra hard to give people your fullest attention. And remember that
one of the most lasting gifts you can give someone is a listening ear.
And don’t forget. “To answer before listening-that is folly and
shame” (Proverbs 18:13).
Yours in faith and friendship,
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