Leadership Thought: Do You Want to Have More Friends? Check Your Ears and Mouth.

Dear Friends

It has been said that the average person suffers from three delusions. He is a good driver, has a good sense of humor, and is a good listener. It is true that most of us think we are better listeners than we are.

Yesterday I talked about the importance of not just being friendly but making friends, and one of the best ways you can make good friends is by being a good listener. Not only will listening make you a lot of good friends but after a while you may even get to know something!  When we fail to be a good listener, we turn off much of our learning potential.

Edgar Watson Howe once joked, “No man would listen to you talk, if he didn't know it was going to be his turn next.” Relationships 101, John Maxwell, p. 41. This made me think of a sign that former President Lyndon B. Johnson was said to have kept on his office wall while a junior senator from Texas. It read, “You ain't ‘learnin’ ‘nothin’ when you're ‘doin’ all of the talkin.’”

Our brother James had something to say about our mouth ministry in James 1:19 when he exhorts, us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry . That is certainly great advice for all of us.

I confess that I might be classified as a much better talker than listener, but this is an area of my life where I am always trying to improve because I know how important listening is in ministering to others. A prominent theologian once said, “The first duty of love is to listen.” David Augsburger writes, “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable.” In listening to another, you are saying, I respect what you have to say, and I really care enough about you that I'm going to give you all my attention.

Let me ask you this morning, how are your listening skills? Are you slow to speak and quick to listen? Would people view you as a caring listener? Or are you the kind of person who can't wait for the other speaker to pause, so that you can express your opinions?

As I close, let me reiterate that we can learn a lot if we take time to listen to others. There was an elderly gentleman who had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor, and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allow him to hear 100%. The elderly man went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.” The man replied, “Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. “If your mouth is open, you aren’t learning.” Buddha