Leadership Thought: Who's Your Daddy?

Dear Friends,

I had just returned from the awards ceremony at Calvary Christian Academy in Fort Lauderdale where I was the athletic director, and even to this day I still remember my amazement over the award that was given to a student in our school.  He had won the “most improved” award. What surprised me about the award was that this young man had been one of the greatest teaching challenges in the school. Often unruly, and possessing an uncompliant attitude, he was almost impossible to teach. 

I was particularly interested in how this student who had earned such a bad reputation could have earned this award, and as coincidence would have it, one of his teachers was standing right next to me, so I asked him, “What brought about this remarkable transformation?"

The teacher began by telling me, “I just determined to love on him.” He told me that every opportunity he had, he found something to praise and affirm him for. He said, “It wasn’t always easy, and there were times when I wasn’t sure my efforts were paying off, but I kept at it and kept at it.”

I’ve long forgotten the student’s name and the teacher who told me the story, but what I do remember is how one man’s words had changed a young person’s life.

Not long after this incident I came across a story that has always been one of my favorites. It powerfully expresses the power of words to impact one’s life. It was told by a well-known pastor named Fred Craddock, and the story has made its rounds on the internet, so you may have read it or heard it preached. According to Snopes, and I checked it this morning, it is true.  

One morning Dr. Craddock was vacationing with his wife in Gatlinburg, TN. They were eating breakfast at a little restaurant hoping to enjoy a quiet family meal. While they were waiting for their food, they noticed a distinguished looking white-haired man moving from table to table, visiting with the guests. The professor leaned over and whispered to his wife, “I hope he doesn’t come over here.” But sure enough, the man did come over to their table. “Where are you folks from?” he asked in a friendly voice.

 Oklahoma,” they answered. “Great to have you here in Tennessee,” the stranger said.

“What do you do for a living?”

 “I teach at a seminary,“ he replied.

 “Oh, so you teach preachers how to preach, do you? Well, I’ve got a great story for you.” And with that, the gentleman pulled up a chair and sat down at the table with the couple.

The professor groaned and thought to himself, “Great……Just what I need- another preacher story.” The man started, “See that mountain over there pointing out the restaurant window. Not far from the base of that mountain, there was a boy born to an unwed mother. He had a hard time growing up, because every place he went, he was always asked the same question, ‘Hey boy, Who’s your daddy?” “Whether he was at school, in the grocery store or drug store, people would ask the same question, ‘Who’s your daddy?’

He would hide at recess and lunchtime from other students. He would avoid going into stores because that question hurt him so badly. When he was about 12 years old, a new preacher came to his church. He would always come in late and slip out early to avoid hearing the question, ‘Who’s your daddy?’ But one day, the new preacher said the benediction so fast he got caught and had to walk out with the crowd.

Just about the time he got to the back door, the new preacher, not knowing anything about him, put his hand on his shoulder and asked him, ‘Son, who’s your daddy?’ The whole church got deathly quiet. He could feel every eye in the church looking at him. Now everyone would finally know the answer to the question, ‘Who’s your daddy.’ This new preacher, though, sensed the situation around him and using discernment that only the Holy Spirit could give, said the following to that scared little boy.

“’Wait a minute!’ he said. ‘I know who you are. I see the family resemblance now. You are a child of God. With that he patted the boy on his shoulder and said, ‘Boy, you’ve got a great inheritance. Go and claim it.’” With that, the boy smiled for the first time in a long time and walked out the door a changed person. He was never the same again.

Whenever anybody asked him, ‘Who’s your Daddy?’ he’d just tell them, ‘I’m a Child of God’” The distinguished gentleman got up from the table and said, “Isn’t that a great story?”

The professor responded that it really was a great story.

As the man turned to leave, he said, “You know, if that new preacher hadn’t told me that I was one of God’s children, I probably never would have amounted to anything!” And he walked away.

The seminary professor and his wife were stunned. He called the waitress over and asked her, “Do you know who that man was who just left that was sitting at our table?”

The waitress grinned and said, l “Of course. Everybody here knows him. That’s Ben Hooper. He’s the former governor of Tennessee!”

Maybe someone in your life today needs a reminder that they’re one of God’s children!

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Whether a Hug, or a Handshake, or Just the Touch of a Hand on the Shoulder-Give It!

Dear Friends,

Thanks for those of you who responded to yesterday's Leadership Thought addressing how to welcome church visitors. One of those responses came from a former New Monmouth Church member Karen Bottari who wrote "If it wasn't for Bill Roberts who knows where I might have ended up?"

Karen was referring to a beloved leader in our church who would stand in the doorway to the sanctuary and hug everyone who would enter. It was not just a casual hug, mind you, but a giant bear hug that almost left you breathless. 

Now not everyone might be up for that kind of welcome to the church, however, like Karen, few people would ever forget its impact. When you were hugged by Bill, you knew you were loved.

Bill passed away a number of years ago, and to this day people still talk about how his hug made them feel loved and special.

The other day I was visiting a church member on hospice, and before I left both I and her husband took her hands and prayed, and the expression on her face communicated it all: "I feel loved and comforted and cared for."

Now one doesn't have to welcome visitors with a giant bear hug to make them feel welcome in church. I know some who are just not the hugger 'type,' and for them maybe a handshake is the best form of greeting they can offer, and that's OK. It’s the touch that counts! A hug, a handshake, or as I shared yesterday, just a soft hand on a shoulder will do.

"Human touch is a basic, a primal need. It calms our nervous system, slows down our heartbeat, lowers blood pressure, and reduces stress. Touch deprivation is correlated with negative health outcomes, such as anxiety, depression and immune system disorders." Quoted from "Psychology Today," The Vital Importance of Touch, Aug 3, 2021.

As Isaac was offering a blessing to his son whom he thought was Esau and not Jacob, we hear him saying, "Come near now, and kiss me, my son." Genesis 27:26

Every formal blessing offered in the Jewish home involves some form of tender, meaningful touch as an expression of love.

Author and teacher Jon Courson writes, "In a study of girls who had numerous unwanted pregnancies, a common denominator was found: they all had fathers who did not show them affection. Consequently, they sought this missing ingredient in the arms of strangers." A pure and tender touch upon our kids is so important. That's why Jesus didn't call out a blanket blessing upon the children who were brought to Him. He tenderly and lovingly touched them. Mark 10:13  Jon Courson's Application Commentary of the Old Testament  

Let us never underestimate the power of the touch for whether it's an old-fashioned Bill Roberts bear hug, or a handshake, or even just a hand on a shoulder for it might just be the beginning of a journey you and your recipient will never forget.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Some Reflections on My Recent Trip to Florida and a Church and School That Makes Me Proud 

Dear Friends,

In case you were wondering about what happened to Leadership Thoughts, I took some time off writing to visit friends and family in Georgia and Florida.

After two weeks of traveling a little over 2700 miles and visiting ten cities and spending time with almost 40 people, my days of living out of a suitcase are over.

Late last Wednesday my little dog Maggie and I arrived home  after a lengthy 12-hour drive from Savannah to Shrewsbury.

Maggie and I took our third trip to Florida, the first one shortly after Jean passed away. These annual trips have provided an opportunity for me to visit friends in Fort Lauderdale where I served for eight years as pastor, athletic director and chaplain of Calvary Christian Academy.

Begun as a ministry of Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale, the school is now the largest Christian school in the country with over 2,500 students.

I especially wanted to be present this year to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the school’s beginning.

It was an incredible experience to be back once again and to meet with so many of those friends Jean and I made while being a part of the rapid growth and development of the school.

The school started with 200 students in 2000 and  quickly doubled to 400 the following year as enrollment and facilities continued to grow and be developed.

I coached my first basketball team in 2002, and we played our home games on an outdoor court while the gym was being constructed.

Today the school has three gyms and a basketball team that has won two Florida state championships. Two years ago, the team was the number two ranked team in the country among all public and private schools, and this year they are ranked 3rd nationally with a 26-1 record. 

While there, I watched the team win their semifinal state game by 20 points, and I was amazed by the athletic talent the team possesses. With one Mc Donald's All American, and another four-star recruit along with several other players who will be heading to division 1 or 2 schools, the basketball program has  continued to develop a reputation for excellence.

Blessed with outstanding financial resources, the school recently completed the building of a 7-million-dollar field house equipped with a state-of-the-art training room with three full-time trainers. The locker rooms are as fine as you would find in any major college. Upstairs there are 16 offices for coaches and athletic administrators. The athletic director who followed me told me he has 90 coaches,  and he schedules 900 athletic events each year. 

The Field House overlooks a beautiful football facility with a gigantic college size scoreboard and a large press box and stands that will accommodate over 4,000 fans. Having won two state baseball titles, and  another in track and field, the school continues to excel athletically.

But what I am proudest of is the school’s continued commitment to the academic and spiritual development of their students. Having developed a reputation for excellence, the school has taken over and revitalized five area private schools that were ready to close, and each one of those schools is now excelling with growing enrollments and they are all on sound financial footing.

Yes, I am bragging about the church and the school, but I genuinely feel honored to have played a small part of the school and church’s success, something I attribute to leadership's unwavering commitment to put Christ first in everything they do.

The Lord always blesses when we put Him first and allow Him to lead and guide our decisions.

For many years the church was led by a dynamic pastor who was well known for his communication gifts.

Every weekend all three services were generally filled in a sanctuary that seated 3200. With the addition of 8 satellite churches, there were well over 20,000 worshiping each week. 

The dynamic pastor was one of the most gifted teachers in the country, and the church was experiencing phenomenal growth, but then it happened.

In 2014 this gifted pastor was brought down by  moral failure, and when it was discovered, he was immediately asked to resign.

There was no compromising of spiritual values in spite of the fact that the church had been largely built on this man's amazing pulpit gifts. Some in the church were concerned about what would happen if he were no longer in the pulpit, and they urged discipline and restoration as an option. Some asked how could the church afford to maintain a 75 acre campus without this man in the pulpit, but the church stood firm and refused to compromise, and while they initially lost 15% of their congregation over the next year, they discovered that God would honor their spiritual integrity and their commitment to being faithful to His ways, and today the church and school are stronger than ever.

There is a Chinese proverb that states. " If the roots are deep, there should be no fear that the wind will uproot the tree."

Proverbs 10:9 should be a good reminder to every believer. "People with integrity have firm footing, but those who follow crooked paths will slip and fall."

Yes, integrity provides stability. Each step away from a life of integrity is a step closer to a slippery slope that leads into a sinful lifestyle.

How proud I am today to have been a part of a church and a school that views every action and every decision through the lens of integrity. Thanks Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale and Calvary Christian Academy for teaching me those values of integrity; they are values that will never be forgotten.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom