Leadership Thought: A Mother's Lament about Her Son's Failure

Dear Friends,

Yesterday I received an e-mail from a distraught mom and member of our church family whose son had just experienced failure on the athletic field. He was discouraged, defeated, and was ready to quit the game he loved.

I am sure many of us can identify with the pain of this mother, for we always want the best for our children.

I would remind this mom and everyone else who might have experienced failure in life that some people get knocked down, and never get up.  Others, however, are like that plastic inflatable figure children play with. No matter how hard or how many times they get hit, they always bounce right back up. They refuse to remain down.

Champions in life know that it is always too soon to quit, and that a winner is one who gets up one more time than he gets knocked down.

Long ago, I memorized the following quote that has always been an encouragement to me whenever I experienced failure. It is called the "Possibility Thinkers Creed."  

"When I come to a mountain, I will not quit. I will climb over it, go around it, tunnel through it, and if none of these are possible, I'll stay there and mine for gold."

I like the kind of determination contained within that little creed. When we know that God is on our side, we understand that success is only a dream away.

Edmund Hillary lost several members of his party while seeking to conquer Mount Everest. He returned to London sad and disappointed by his failure. The royal family planned a celebration to honor him, and they invited all the prestigious dignitaries to be a part of it. 

As Hillary stepped to the podium, everyone applauded. Tears flowed from Hillary's face as he remembered those he left behind on that icy slope.

Behind him was a huge picture of that unconquered mountain on which no man had ever set foot. When the applause died down and it was his time to speak, without saying a word, Hillary turned his back to his audience and raised his hand to the picture of Mount Everest, and forming a fist, he said,  "Mount Everest, I will come back again and defeat you, for you can't get any bigger than I am," and a few years later, he conquered that formidable mountain becoming the first man to ever do so. 

Now that's the kind of attitude I love to see in people, the kind that always knows that it is too soon to quit.

Failure can be  a great teacher. The apostle Peter learned that, and so did David who walked through his own dark valley of discouragement, but one of the best examples of all was the Apostle Paul, who knew something about the challenge of dealing with difficult circumstances. 

In writing to the Corinthian church, he penned these words: "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed (2 Corinthians 4:8-9).

Paul was the kind of leader that everyone would love to have on his team. He was the kind of leader who knew that it is always too soon to quit.

Satan's strategy is to keep Christians preoccupied with their failures, and when this happens, he wins the battle. 

Again, and again Satan plays and sings that failure tune, and before long you begin singing it to. 

But I encourage you to sing another song. It goes like this: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4: 13).  

And guess what? Before long, you will discover that you are a winner, and that you too can finish strong in whatever race you run. 

Yours and faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. An assistant of Thomas Edison once sought to console the inventor over his failure to achieve success in a series of experiments that he had tried. "Oh," said, Mr. Edison, "We have lots of results for we know 700 things that won't work." 

Is it any wonder that Edison invented the light bulb?

Leadership Thought: Something the World Needs More Of

Dear Friends,

I listen to a number of Bible teachers on the internet, and one of my favorites is Greg Laurie. This afternoon on my walk, I listened to a message he taught on my favorite subject, encouragement.

I am not shy about using other's material, but I am always careful to give credit to my source, so I must confess that much of this message is more Greg's than mine, for his message was just too good not to share.

He tells of a group of frogs who were walking through the forest and two of the frogs fell into a pit. The remaining frogs looked down from the side of the pit at the two fallen frogs below. 

"You'll never get out of the pit."

"Why don't you just give up and die," they shouted, and one of them did and died. But the remaining frog wouldn't give up, and he kept jumping and jumping and jumping to try to get out while all the time the frogs above were yelling and screaming at the frog to quit and give up.

Suddenly, to the surprise of the other frogs, he was able to jump out of the pit.

The surprised frogs said, "Didn't you hear us. We were yelling at you to give up, but you ignored us and kept on jumping. How did you do it?"

"Oh," said the frog, "I am hard of hearing, and I thought you were cheering for me."

We live in a time when there is a great need for cheerleaders.

There is a lot of negative communication going on in our world today. People are angry, mean spirited, critical and uncaring, and we see the impact of these behaviors as we watch the television news. Another shooting, another murder, another mugging, another rape,...

Greg shared some alarming statistics in pointing out the impact this negative behavior is having on the mental health among our young people. 

"The rates of depression among young people between 14-17 grew by more than 60% from 2009 to 2017, and it has gone up even more since then." 

"Suicide rates among young people have more than doubled in the last decade, and 43% of millennials report being concerned about their mental health." 

"It's not just young people who are feeling the effects of depression. It's older people as well. Many are feeling forgotten, left out, unappreciated, and passed over. They too, are in need of someone to tell them that they matter." 

"Men who are 65 and older face the highest risk of suicide, and men who are 85 and older are the second most likely group to take their own lives."

So, what do all these people have in common? I think what they all have in common is a need for a word of encouragement.

Encouragement is "oxygen to the soul and we can't live very long without it."

Mother Teresa taught that "kind words are short and easy to speak, but their echoes are endless."

Mark Twain used to say that "one compliment can keep me going for a month."

The scriptures provide us with some specific advice regarding the value of encouragement.

Proverbs 25:11 reminds us that "The right word at the right time is like precious gold in a setting of silver."

1 Thess. 5:11 states we should "Encourage one another and all the more as you see the day drawing near."

Hebrews 10:24-25 exhorts us "To consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as is the habit of some, and encouraging one another all the more."

Our world certainly does need a large dose of encouragement, something that is in very short supply these days.

The late New Testament scholar William Barclay wrote "One of the highest of human duties is the duty of encouragement. It is easy to laugh at men's ideals; it is easy to pour cold water on their enthusiasm; it is easy to discourage others. The world is full of discouragers. We have a Christian duty to encourage one another. Many a time a word of praise or  appreciation or cheer has kept a man on his feet. Blessed is the man who speaks such a word." Encouragement, The Art of Giving, The Joy of Receiving, Walt Wiley.

I am now about to head to a luncheonette where I will attend a weekly breakfast with a couple of friends, and I know Monica, our waitress, will be eager to see us. No, it's not because we are unusually great tippers, which we're not, but it's because our conversation is generally  positive and  encouraging, and what waitress doesn't appreciate that kind of communication?

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S, Greg shared an acronym for helping us to monitor our behavior insuring we are not a part of the negative climate. THINK before you communicate. T, is it truthful; H, is it helpful; I, is it inspiring; N, is it necessary; and K, is it kind.

Leadership Thought: What God Wants to Teach Us Through Our Trials.

Dear Friends

A test is a difficult experience through which a person's true values, commitments, and beliefs are revealed. 

A college sophomore in anticipation of a notoriously difficult final exam in his ornithology class- that's the study of birds-made what he considered the ultimate effort in preparation for his exam. 

He was then stunned when he walked into the classroom to take the exam and found there was no blue book, no multiple-choice questions, no text booklet at all- just 25 pictures on the wall. They were photos, not of birds, but of birds' feet. The test was to identify each of the twenty-five birds by only their feet.

"This is insane," the student protested. "It can't be done."

"It must be done," said the professor. "This is the final."

"I won't do it," the boy said, "and I'm walking out."

"Go ahead and fail me," the boy said, heading for the door. 

"OK, you failed. What is your name," the professor demanded?

The boy pulled up his pantlegs, kicked off his shoes, and said, "You tell me."

Yes, tests do reveal a lot about a person's true value. 

It has been said that "Christians are a lot like tea bags- not much good until they have been placed in the hot water. It is only when we find ourselves in the hot water that our true colors are revealed. 

In one of my favorite devotional books, Steams in the Desert I read the following message regarding trials and testing.

"We must win the victory in the furnace.  It is there that our faith is truly revealed. It is in the fires of affliction and adversity that our character is able to shine.

A person has only as much faith as he/she shows in times of trouble. 

The three men who were thrown into the fiery furnace came out just as they went in- except for the ropes that had bound them. 

How often God removes our shackles in the furnace of affliction.

These three men walked through the fire unhurt. Their skin was not even blistered. Not only had the fire not harmed their bodies, but not a hair of their heads was singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them" (Daniel 3: 27)

This is the way Christians should come out of the furnace of fiery trials- liberated from their shackles, and untouched by the flames.  

When it is dark enough, men see the stars. Adversity, affliction, trials and temptations all provide the backdrop against which our character may shine as stars in the night.

When we find ourselves in difficult situations, the world is watching to see how we respond. Our faith is on trial. What they see revealed in us- light or darkness- may have a profound bearing on who they become, both now and for eternity." Streams in the Desert, April 3. 

Peter writes. "In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, you may have to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold, which though perishable, is tested by fire, may redound to praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 1: 6-7).

We may question or complain about why God puts us through suffering. 

"God, you already know what's in my heart, and how I am going to do, so why do you put me through this?" 

But Peter tells us the truth. God tests us not for His benefit, but for our benefit. He doesn't put us through the test so that He can find out how we will respond, for He already knows. He tests us so that we might know how we will respond. The test is for our benefit, not His.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P. S. "Calamity is the perfect mirror, wherein we truly see and know ourselves."  William Davenant

Leadership Thought: No Excuses for not Sharing Your Faith

Dear Friends,

Augustine was right when he said, "Our hearts are restless until they find their rest in thee, O Lord." 

Pascal said it this way: "There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man that cannot be satisfied by anything but God."

Suppose you go to the Ford dealership today and see the new Ford Explorers all lined up gleaming in the sun. You can open the door of one, take your seat behind the wheel, shift the gears, and pump the brake, but you won't go anywhere because there's a hole in the car that must be filled. It's called the ignition. Is the Ford dealership mean to put those cars out on the lot with holes in them? 

No, they simply want a relationship with you. The hole in the car keeps you from cruising away because they want you to come into their showroom and to sit across the table from them. So, they can draw up papers for you to sign. New Testament Application Bible, John Courson, p. 1568

Our God has created a hole in our hearts, and our life won't work the way it was intended to unless that hole is filled with Jesus. He wants a relationship with us. He wants to fill the void in our life with His love. 

Yesterday in church I had the joy and privilege of praying with a high school student who wanted to fill the hole in his heart.  He had recognized that there was something missing in his life, and he wanted to fill it, so he  let Jesus into his life and now his life is forever changed.

As I prayed for him, I reminded him that what he had received was meant to be shared with others. especially those on his school campus.

The Apostle Peter exhorts us as followers of Christ,  "To be ready to give an answer when someone asks you about your hope. Give a kind and respectful answer and keep your conscience clear" (1 Peter 3:15, The Promise Bible).

Although my friend was only minutes into his new life in Christ, and he did know a lot of scriptures, or possess any real experience in sharing his faith, he was still well equipped to do so.

Like the blind man who met Jesus, and suddenly received more than just his sight, he too had a message to share with any doubters who might question his experience, "I once was blind but now I see." 

I once was empty, lonely, guilty, addicted, selfish, but now I 'see.' 

I am changed; I'm a new and I'm a different person, for the old man has passed away and the new has come. (2 Cor. 5:17).

We may feel inadequate when it comes to sharing our faith. We don't know a lot of scripture or possess a lot of witnessing experience, but the one thing we do have is a personal testimony of the difference Christ has made in our life.

A changed life is the greatest witnessing tool we could ever possess.

Each believer's testimony will be different for each one who accepts Jesus is different, but the message always remains the same: "I once was blind and now I see."

You may not be able to defend your salvation experience intellectually or express it theologically, but the changed life you now possess in Jesus cannot be argued or refuted.

You are changed, and you now have a wonderful story to tell of the One who transformed your life. It's called your personal testimony.

What I said to the young high school student is what I would say to you. You are called to be a witness, and to share your faith with others, and the most important witnessing tool you possess is your testimony that points to the source of that change: the saving work of Jesus. 

One believer described evangelism in very simple terms. It's just "one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread," and anyone can share that story.

Don't ever think you are off the hook when it comes to sharing your faith with others. If you have met Jesus, and He has changed your life, you have a testimony, and if you have a testimony, you have a "reason," and yes, and obligation "to share the hope that is within you."

It is sad but true that "At the end of the day, the biggest obstacle to evangelism is Christians who don't share the gospel" Albert Mohler. 

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: What We Learned About Fellowship in Our Life Group Last Night

Dear Friends,

"When two people connect, when their beings intersect as closely as two bodies during intercourse.  something is poured out of one. and into the other that has the power to heal the soul of its deepest wounds and restore it to health. The one who receives experiences the joy of being healed. The one who gives knows the even greater joy of being used to heal. Something good is in the heart of each of God's children that is more powerful than everything bad. It's there waiting to be released, and work its magic," So writes counselor Larry Crabb in the book Everyone's Normal Until You Get to Know Them, John Ortberg, p. 36.

Last night in our Life Group, we took the opportunity to discuss the importance of building community. or fellowship as it is called within the Christian community.

God has called us into community, and we can never be all that he has meant for us to be so long as we live apart from community.

An interesting study was done on the importance of community and health. The study revealed that those who have poor eating habits who are obese, who smoke and drink, but who have strong social relationships, can expect to live longer than those who live well, eat well, and who don't drink or smoke but who live in social isolation. 

Pastor John Ortberg humorously points out that this study just goes to show that it is better to eat twinkies and fellowship with others than eat broccoli by yourself.

We were fashioned for fellowship; created for community, born again to be a part of a body, the church. That was God's aim in creation when he said, "It is not good for man to be alone," and to complete him, He created community in creating woman.

I love that little verse tucked away in Acts 2 describing the community that the early disciples enjoyed.  

"And all the believers were together and had everything in common"(Acts 2:44) 

Do you want to know the results of such togetherness? The answer is seen in the tremendous growth of the early church as members loved and shared and cared for one another. There was no room in that church for the single solitary saint who wanted to tip toe through the tulips with a Jesus and me mentality. 

When the outside world looks through the stained-glass windows of the church and sees people loving each other- really loving each other, they will beat a path to the door of that church. Why? Because they share a 'longing for belonging.' They know that 'people who need people are the luckiest people alive, and they want to be a part of those people.

The  German theologian, Dietrick Bonhoeffer, martyred in World War 2 wrote "Whoever cannot stand being in the community should be aware of being alone."

There are significant and tragic consequences to living a life that is isolated from others.

When the people grew discouraged during the rebuilding of the walls surrounding Jerusalem, Nehemiah rallied his troops through the creation of community. He put families together and assigned them to do work at the same place on the wall. He also created a buddy system where one would work while the other would hold a sword or a spear. He knew by putting families together and by creating a buddy system, those involved would care for and look out for each other. And they did, and so that wall was built, and it was completed in 52 days because those people had a mind to work.

 

Friends there is a broken heart in every pew, classroom, office building, and home.

God calls us into community, not only for our own needs, but to help meet the needs of others. 

The apostle Paul writes, "Carry with one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2).

It may be another's burden today, but you can be sure that it won't be long before it's your burden tomorrow. 

And as we are reminded in Ecclesiastes, "Two are better than one... if one falls down, his friend can help him up. but pity the one who falls down and has no one to help him up" (Eccl. 2:9-10).

Don't walk through your life thinking that 'Jesus and me is enough." It's not. You can change and you must change. 

In a recent sermon, one of our pastors asked us, "Do you think God could propel you to change your self-centered plan that keeps you trying to live out your faith separated from others?"  And then he quickly reminded us that "If he saved us, He could certainly change us."

Paul writes, "We cared so much for you that we were pleased to share with you not only the Gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us" (1 Thessalonians 2:8).

May those words be a constant reminder to each one of us that we are called to live out our faith and our lives with one another.

So today as we seek to do that, let's be intentional as we look for ways to build community, whether in our church, school, office or in our home for as one church leader reminds us, "One is too small a number to achieve greatness.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: That's Grace, Amazing Grace

Dear Friends

The Christian life is a story about grace, amazing grace.

Our brother, Peter, in the final words, he ever pinned, exhorts us to "Grow in Grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior (2 Peter 3:18).

He doesn't tell us to grow in holiness or discipline or theological knowledge or zeal. But he says, "Grow in Grace." 

Why? "Because grace is not the starting point, but grace is the only point." John Courson, New Testament Life Application Bible.

In his last words to the church Paul said, "Grace be with you" (2 Timothy 4:22).

And in the last words in our Bible, we find grace having the final word: "The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with all the saints" (Rev 22:21).

Yes, it is grace that has saved us. "For by grace you have been saved, and it is not  of yourself (of your own doing). It is the gift of God: Not of works lest any man should boast" (Eph 2:8-9).

Again and again Peter failed Jesus and again and again Jesus forgave him and gave him another chance. It was our Lord's forgiving grace that transformed Peter and gave him a new rock-solid identity.

The Christin life starts and ends with grace, and no one knew that any better than our brother Peter. 

We read, "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all Grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, established, and strengthen you" (1 Peter 5:10-11)

What a wonderful promise. It should be no surprise that it comes from the pen of our brother Peter who probably knew more about grace than any of the disciples.

"Lord, though all others forsake you, I never will," he declared cocksure of himself. 

"Before the cock crows twice, you'll deny me three times" Jesus answered  (Mark 14:72).

"I'm going to Jerusalem, where I will be crucified," Jesus said. "Not so,” argued Peter. 

"Get thee behind me, Satan," Jesus replied ( Matthew 16 23

The fact that Jesus loves me just as I am and that there is nothing I can do to outrun His outstretched arms of love, should be enough for anyone to want to fall down and worship Him.

One of the greatest illustrations of grace I know comes from the writing of the late  Donald Barnhouse who tells about a man named Harry Morehouse, who was a pastor.

One time Harry Morehouse was walking down the street in a poor section of the city where he served, and a little boy came out of a store with a pitcher of milk, and the little boy dropped the pitcher, and it shattered into pieces. 

Immediately, the little boy began to cry, and he wailed and cried so much that the pastor turned and went over and knelt down beside the boy and said, "Son, what in the world! Nothing could be that bad. Why are you crying?" and the boy replied, "Because my Mommy is going to whip me when I get home." 

And Harry Morehouse said, "Well, son, let's see if we can put it back together." 

So, the pastor and the little boy knelt down on the street corner and began to piece together the glass pitcher. But every time one of the pieces would fall out, the little boy would start crying again, and the pastor would say, "Now son, wait a minute. Let's stay with it."

And they got it all together, except the handle. The pastor  gently tried to fit the handle onto the pitcher, and it fell to pieces. 

Then there was no stopping the tears, and cries that his mommy was going to whip him. 

So, Harry Morehouse picked up the little boy, took him back to the store, bought the best pitcher they could find, then carried the little boy and the pitcher to a dairy store and had the pitcher filled with milk.

Then he carried the little boy and the pitcher of milk to the little boy's house and put him down on his own doorstep, and said, "Now, son, is your Mommy going to whip you?"

And the boy said, "No, sir, because we got more milk, and a better pitcher than we had before."

Let me tell you something. When the milk of your life is spilt; it will happen. When the pitcher in which you hold it is broken to pieces, you can try to put it back together again with your own efforts. and you even ask God to help you,  you're going to bomb. 

But he wants to give you a new pitcher, to fill it with fresh milk, and then to carry you home with it all. 

Now that Grace, Amazing Grace. Story taken from a sermon by Steve Brown.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Did You Ever Have a Friend Who Wrote a Poem About You?

Dear Friends,

Did you ever have someone write a poem about you?

Yesterday as I was doing some filing, I came across a file folder that read "Brennan Tom and Jean Poem."

I didn't remember filing it, and I am not sure I ever remember reading it, but I must have as it had been stored and hidden away in one of my file cabinets. I don't have any idea of its background or the motivation behind its creation.

My friend Dan Brennan. who is an elder in our church and who wrote it,  will never be confused for being a poet laureate.

He writes:

"Tom and Jean, lovers true. in their apartment warm and cozy, Tom sips mango juice from Trader Joe's, while Jean works on a puzzle, oh, so cozy.

Their love, a beacon shining bright, guiding them through life's storms. They encourage each other, day and night, and together, their love transforms. 

They laugh, they play, they share their days. In their home, a haven of peace, their love, a never- ending phase, a bond that will never cease. 

With each other, they feel complete. Their love, a beautiful thing. Tom and Jean, forever sweet, together, their hearts will sing."

Dan is a brilliant computer engineer, but his poetry-well I'll leave it up to you to decide.

In any event Dan is a special friend, and he who has a special friend is a lucky person.

I first knew we would be good  friends when I told him how much I love Trader Joe's mango juice.

With a twinkle in his eye, he led me over to a closet outside his kitchen and opened the door. Inside the closet I counted over 50 half gallons of Trader Joe's mango juice. Enough said!

That sealed the deal; we would now become ‘mango’ friends for life, and we sealed our friendship that day with a drink of, you guessed it, Trader Joe's mango juice. 

And then two years ago at an elders meeting, Dan presented me with the first book I had ever written. It was a real surprise, for I didn't know I had even written a book.

Dan has secretly edited every Leadership Thought I had written over the course of a year and then organized them into a book he had published titled: The Home Run: Leadership Lessons from the Coach.

I weighed it this morning and it 'weighed in' at a hefty 7 pounds. No wonder, for between the covers there were over 600 pages of Leadership Thoughts. 

Just lifting the book is a weightlifter's dream; I tell people “If you don't read it, just use it as exercise equipment, and you will immediately begin to see those  biceps bulging.

No one was more surprised than I was with the book presentation that Dan made that night, and I will forever be grateful for his labor of love and the friendship that fashioned his gift.

Friendship is a gift, and those who are lucky enough to receive it, possess a gift that is greater than any riches one could ever amass.

The best friendships in life are always those that are the  result of unselfish giving. 

It has been said that "The true test of a relationship is not only how loyal we are when friends fail, but how thrilled we are when they succeed."

Over the years I have been blessed with the gift of many friends, but I recognize there is a price to pay for maintaining  those friendships. Like gardening we have to work on cultivating those friendships. If we don't they will cease to exist.

One of my greatest joys in life is staying in touch with old friends. Last year I received an e-mail from a person I hadn't seen for 65 years. 

I spoke at a high school youth retreat in the 60's that he had attended, and he wrote to tell me how he still remembers that day and the impact that retreat had on his life.

Today he receives my Leadership Thoughts, and we correspond regularly, and I'm looking forward to meeting with him personally this summer as he lives only a short way from our cottage on Lake Ontario.

Playwright George Bernard Shaw once wrote a note to his friend, Archibald Henderson, which said, "I have neglected you shockingly of late. This is because I have had to neglect everything that could be neglected without immediate ruin, and partly because you have passed into the circle of intimate friends whose feelings one never dreams of considering."

John Maxwell writes, "Shaw must have realized that his relationship with his friend was in desperate need of attention, and he desired to save it, and then John asks, "What price can you put on a great friendship?" John Maxwell, Winning with People, P. 81.

Dan Brennan is a friend and a good one. That is why yesterday, when he was on my mind, I took a moment to shoot him an e-mail to tell him how grateful I was for his friendship. And a few minutes later, I received his thankful response.

Is there a garden of friendship that needs to be re cultivated in your life? If so, why not do a little friendship weeding?

Friendships may be made in heaven, but their maintenance must be done on earth.

So, pick up the phone, or the pen, or stop by and make that visit. I promise that you will make two people very happy, and one of those two will be you.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. "It is best to be with those in time we hope to be with in eternity." Thomas Fuller

Leadership Thought: The Gift That Everyone Can Give

Dear Friends,

One of the greatest gifts you can give another person is the gift of encouragement.

One day a church member asked a pastor, "How can you tell if a person needs encouragement."

The pastor responded, "It is simple. If he's breathing, he needs it. If he's not, don't worry about it."

Yes, everyone who journeys through life needs encouragement. People need to feel special, valued, loved and supported, and encouragement, which is 'oxygen to the soul', can do that. 

When you encourage someone, you make two people happy: the one you encourage and yourself. The encourager derives as much joy out of encouraging someone as does the one who is received it. It's a win-win situation.

George Adams was right when he said, "There are high spots in all our lives, and most of them have come about through encouragement from someone."

Can you think of someone who made a difference in our life because they encouraged you? Maybe it was  a coach, teacher, pastor or friend. They put a 10 on your forehead and made you feel  special, and because of it you will never forget them.

Through the years, I have been blessed to have had many such encouragers in my life.

I believe I am in the ministry today because of Sam Tatem's encouragement. Sam was a retired pastor living in Norfolk Va., and he read about a ministry we had established at Washington and Lee University through the ministry of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes.  Student athletes took time to visit area children's home, sharing our faith in Christ and seeking to encourage all whom we visited.

The story of our ministry had spread across state and been picked up by Sam's hometown newspaper  200 miles away. He was so impressed reading about our ministry that he took time to write me a personal note to thank and encourage me for this ministry. 

This began a letter writing relationship in which over the next two years our friendship deepened. This unknown pastor, who took the time to write and encourage me and those in our ministry, became my friend and our relationship continued to deepen over the next two years of our correspondence. 

In one of the letters I received from Sam, he encouraged me to consider the possibility of ministry upon graduation, something which I had never considered.

Unfortunately, before my plans to drive across the state to personally meet my friend and inform him that because of his encouragement I had decided to enter seminary, I received word he had passed away. 

Although the two of us never personally met, I felt like Sam was one of my very best friends, and I will forever be thankful for his encouragement to pursue the ministry.

Benjamin Disraeli said, "The greatest good you can do for another is not to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own." Sam did that for me. He put a 10 on my head and always made me feel like I was a man meant for ministry.

It is true that people will go further than they think they can go when someone thinks they can. 

All of us are like the little boy who wanted to play ball with his dad. 

"How do you want to play?" asked the dad.

"Simple," his son said, "I throw the ball and you say wonderful."

The Apostle Paul exhorts us to speak words of encouragement to others. "Don't let any unwholesome words come out of your mouth except those that encourage and build up someone in need (Eph 4:29).

The writer of Proverbs reminds us that "Kind words are like a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones" (Proverbs 16:24).

Don't be a tombstone encourager. "If you know the praise is due him, now's the time to give it to him, for he cannot read his tombstone when he's dead."

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: A Pastor's Passion to Grow and How He Seeks to Do It

Dear Friends,

John Maxwell teaches that "You will never change your life until you change what you do daily."

As a pastor and as a leader, I am always trying to change and improve myself on a daily basis. I spend time studying the Bible in order to  learn how I can be a more effective witness to others. 

Today I possess a greater passion than ever before to know my Savior better and to live for Him and to tell others about Him.

Besides my commitment to daily study the Word of God, I have also made a commitment to improve my leadership skills in an effort to become the best leader I can be. I am intentional about daily developing my biblical and leadership skills.

It has been said that nobody goes uphill by accident, and I know if I want to improve in any area of my life, I must make an intentional decision to grow, and so I am always eager to learn truth and skills that will improve the quality of my life and witness.

Each day besides studying the Bible, I try to learn principles of leadership that will increase my influence and ability to impact others in  positive ways.

My bottom line is trying to do whatever I can to be the best version of myself I can be.

I am not content to simply coast through life, so I am trying to be faithful and diligent to use all of the natural and spiritual gifts God has given me.

As I watch the sands of time slowly pass through my life's hourglass, I want to maximize the value of my life by being faithful in fulfilling my call to serve Him, and I hope you do too.

With a host of commentaries and sermons by my side, I'm daily seeking to learn valuable spiritual truth from our brother Peter as I study his two letters to the early church. 

I am going slow-it has already been three weeks, and I am only half way through my study, but the time I've spent has been enormously encouraging as I seek to learn and live out the lessons he taught those first believers whom he exhorts "to grow in grace and in the knowledge of the Lord (2 Peter 3:18). 

While studying the Bible each day for spiritual truth, I am also devoting my time to learning and applying leadership truth. 

"Leadership is nothing more than influence," so whether we like it or not each one of us is a leader. Some of us, because of our positive influence are good leaders, but some of us because of our negative influence are poor leaders. As followers of Christ, each of us should want to improve our leadership skills as practiced in our homes, schools, work and church. 

I have found very valuable leadership lessons in the writing of leadership expert John Maxwell. John has written over 100 books and is recognized as the world's leading expert on leadership. He has written more words on leadership than any person who has ever lived. But John is not just a leadership writer and speaker; he is a Christian leadership writer and speaker, and his faith bleeds through the pages and principles of the leadership lessons he teaches. 

I follow John's teaching because he takes leadership principles that are deep and complex and makes them simple and easy to understand and implement. I read his books and listen to his podcasts as I walk my dog, and just yesterday I listened to the podcast-link below-on "How to Change the World and Transform Your Life." I hope you will take a listen and let me know what you think. 

All of this leads me to ask you how are you growing?  What are you doing to improve yourself and your witness? Are you a little  different today than your were yesterday?

Remember, "If you are green, you’re growing, but if you're ripe you rot." God wants green and growing fruit in our lives.

I remind you as John Maxwell teachers: "everything worthwhile is uphill." If you are going to grow, you must be willing to change the things you do daily.

There is no such thing as 'accidental achievement.' If you want to grow and develop spiritually, relationally, professionally or athletically, you must make changes in the way you spend your time. Your daily agenda must change.

I share this information with you, not because there is anything special about my strategy for growth, but because it is a simple plan you might wish to try if you are serious about increasing your impact and influence as a believer.

In closing, I remind you of the importance of changing good intentions into good actions because the biggest gap in the world is between the words,  "I should" and "I did."

Keep learning and keep growing my friends and let me know how you are doing.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S.I encourage you to click on the link below and take a listen to the message. I can promise you that you will be glad you did.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPprex3811E

Leadership Thought: Are You a Disciple or Just a Believer?

Dear Friends,

We are a church committed to making disciples, and last night at our Life Group eight of our church members sat around a table discussing discipleship.

Jesus gave the Great Commission to all who claim His name. 

He taught, "All authority. has been given to me in heaven and on earth.  Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:18-20)

Making disciples should be the goal of every church and of every church member.

But what is a disciple?

A disciple is not a deluxe version of a Christian. Every believer is called to be a disciple.

The view that every believer should be a disciple is foreign to many church members who believe discipleship is for the mature super saint, the one who is entirely sold out to Jesus.

But that was not the case for those first disciples. Uneducated, ill equipped, and just newly saved, they went everywhere gossiping the gospel, so much so that by the fourth century there were over 30 million believers in the Roman Empire.

I have often wondered if Christians should change their names. 

When you fill out a religious survey, one of the choices given to identify you is the term Christian. But what if instead of Christian, we were to read the word "disciple?" Would that make a difference in how we see ourselves? I am no longer just a Christian, but I am a disciple.

The early followers of Jesus were called Christians, resulting from their testimony and witness in the city of Antioch. (Acts 11: 25), but before the word Christian became widely known to describe a follower of Christ, the word disciple was used. Followers of Christ were known as disciples and very rarely described as Christians in the Bible. 

A disciple is a Christian who is a follower of Jesus and who seeks to share his/her faith, and who seeks to disciple others as they have been discipled. 

The word disciple comes from the Latin word 'discipulus' which means a pupil or a student or a learner. A disciple learns about Jesus so that he/she can become more like Him. A disciple loves Jesus and wants to learn about Him. A disciple lives in such a way that he/she reflects the qualities of His life in all they say and do. 

I wonder if we should call ourselves disciples if we are not obedient to the command of Jesus to be a one and to become a disciple maker.

To be a disciple is not simply a request Jesus makes; it is a divine command. 

Pastor and author David Platt writes: "Disciples are to be disciple makers. Disciple making is what happens when we walk through life together, showing another how to pray, study the Bible, grow in Christ, and lead others to Christ." (Church Growth Magazine, David Platt).

How are we doing? Are we disciples or just believers?

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Principles for Dealing with Difficult Conversations: Add, Affirm and Agree

Dear Friends, 

Matt Agresti is a friend and a local pastor who shared an insightful formula for getting along with those with whom you might normally disagree.

He imagines having a difficult conversation around the table in the presence of an "Uncle Fred," the person who always seeks to steer the course of conversations in polarizing and uncomfortable directions.

His recommendation was to keep in mind  a "Triple A" perspective as you engage your 'Fred' in potentially divisive and unproductive conversations. 

Always try to keep three things in mind when you face such conversations: "Add, "Agree," and "Affirm." Doing these three things will go a long way in preventing relational erosion that will sabotage any possibility of  meaningful discussions.

Add  Ask yourself how I can add something to the conversation that will make it better and more positive and productive.  What can I say that will enhance our conversation and keep it on track and moving in a positive direction? What can I do to add value to the person with whom I know I may disagree? How can I embrace him and show him respect without necessarily affirming his views or position? How can I be a more nonjudgmental listener who tries to understand his perspective?

When you add value to someone you make them better. When you genuinely value someone, you will find ways to be present with them, believe in them and encourage them. 

Agree  Search for areas of agreement. Even if it is only a small area of agreement, embrace it. Finding common ground is an important place to begin a difficult conversation.  It is much more productive to begin searching for areas of agreement than concentrating on areas of disagreement that will only move the conversation in a contentious direction.

Affirm  Find those areas that you can affirm. Affirm and express appreciation for the way the person is handling his emotions, expressing thoughtfulness, showing wisdom, or listening intently. Congratulate the person for challenging your perspective and helping you to more clearly see and understand his point of view. Treat the person like a new friend and demonstrate that you respect and care for him, even if you don't necessarily agree with his position.

Always remember that "a friend loves at all times" (Proverbs 17:17), and don't lose sight of the significance of that verse. No matter how draining or difficult the conversation may be, it's better to lose an argument than to lose a friend.

A lawyer friend of mine recently told me  of a judge who said the best decision that can be rendered in the courtroom is one that leaves both parties feeling a little unhappy. What he was saying was that compromise  may not always be most satisfying for those involved, but at least both parties derive something positive from the judgment.

Always remember your goal is not to win an argument but to build and strengthen a relationship. 

Yours and faith and friendship

Tom

Leadership Thoughts: Have You Ever Been Surprised by God?

Dear Friends, 

I love being surprised.

While I was driving home from Florida last week, the phone rang. I was surprised to hear a friend of mine on the other end of the line. My friend Jim was calling to apologize for being a day late in remembering the anniversary of Jean's passing, part of the very reason I traveled to Florida in the first place as I had wanted to be with friends Jean and I made while we lived in Fort Lauderdale.

For many years I have called Jim every November 10th, the day his young and talented college daughter was shot to death in a botched computer robbery. The conversation is always short and to the point.

"I'm thinking of you on this day. I love you and I want you to know that I'm praying for you and Signe," his wife, Signe." That's pretty much all I say, and I hope that's enough. 

Little did I expect that I would receive a similar and surprise call from my dear friend as I headed home to New Jersey. Short and sweet and to the point. "I'm thinking of you today and wanted you to know that I'm praying for you and your family." 

My friend's surprise call made things a little easier on my. long trip home.

Sometimes Jesus comes to us through some unexpected person at some unexpected time in some unexpected place. The Lord will come to you through a brother or sister, through a family member or friend. But so often, like Mary's. unexpected conversation at the tomb our eyes are so filled with tears that we don't always recognize it's the Lord speaking to us, and we are surprised by the unexpected

This experience made me think of a message I read and saved from Charles Swindoll's Day by Day Devotional. 

He told of how the famous Englishman Horace Walpole, was reading a Persian fairy tale that brought joy to his heart on a cold, dreary day. The story brought a smile to his face, and so he wrote to his longtime friend, Horace Mann, telling him of the thrilling approach to life he had discovered from the folktale.

The ancient tale told of three princes from the island of Ceylon, who set out on a pursuit of  great treasures. They never found those treasures for which they searched, but in route they were continually surprised by delights they found along their journey and which they had never anticipated. In looking for one thing, they found another. 

The original name of Ceylon was "Serendipity", which explains the title of this story, The

Three Princes of Serendip. From that, Walpole coined the wonderful word, "serendipity," and from then on, his most significant and valued experiences were those that happened to him while he was least expecting them.

"A serendipity occurs when something beautiful breaks in to the monotonous and the mundane. A serendipitous life is marked by surprise and spontaneity." Day by Day, Charles Swindoll.

As I thought about the background of this wonderful word, I found myself thinking of the many ways God has surprised His people. There was Abraham and Sarah,  Zachariah and Elizabeth, and Mary and Joseph, all being surprised to learn that children would be born into their families when they least expected it. 

There were other surprises. There was the surprise of those praying for Peter safety only to discover him standing on their front doorstep; And then there were those disciples walking the Road to Emmaus with  a stranger only to discover to their surprise that the stranger walking with them was none other than Jesus. And what about the surprise of the women who came and discovered the empty tomb, and the appearance of Jesus in the upper room following his crucifixion, and the list goes on and on

God is in the wonderful business of surprising people, and He's good at it. He seems to show up at just the right time and in just the right place. He is the "Master of Surprises."

It was Oswald Chambers who wrote, "When you are rightly related to God, it is a life full of spontaneous joyful uncertainty and expectancy- we do not know what God is going to do next; He packs our life with surprises." (Quotations for the Christian World, Edith Draper)

The prophet Isaiah said it  a little differently when he wrote, "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." (Isaiah 43:19)

The next time the heavy storm clouds of disappointment hover over your head, or the winds of adversity come howling across the landscape of your life, remember that God is in the business of showing up big time. So, let's all be standing on tiptoes, for God may just well be planning a special serendipity in your life, and how exciting that would be. 

And yes, don't forget "that it is when you are out of options that we are most ready for God's surprises." Max Lucado.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. God reveals Himself through surprises, and His greatest surprise is that He chose you  and me to be His children.

Leadership Thought: Something to Keep in Mind When You Start Screaming at an Umpire This Season

Dear Friends,

I love sports. That's why when my college playing days were over, I continued to stay involved, first coaching and then officiating. Of all the sports to officiate, I especially love umpiring baseball, and that's  why I am looking forward to the start of another umpiring season.

It is exciting being out there in the crisp air, smelling those hot dogs and hamburgers being grilled, talking with coaches and players, meeting and making new friends with those with whom you are working a game, observing the skills of the different players, and getting caught up in all of the excitement and enthusiasm of the crowd. There is nothing quite like it.

I can still remember a game I did a number of years ago. It was a key game between two of the better teams in the area. The bleachers were packed. The game was riding on almost every pitch. It was an umpire's dream, a game where you had to be on your toes every minute, so you didn't blow a key call that might impact the result of the game.

The thing that really struck me about that game was the level of intensity of the crowd and the players. Fans were yelling at each other and at each other's teams. Coaches were complaining about the strike zone. Players were trying to get on each other by making cutting and caustic remarks about their opponents. 

I was working the field and not behind the plate, so I had the opportunity to stand back and listen and take in all that I was seeing and hearing, and it disturbed me then and it disturbs me today. 

I thought back to the days when I played, and when I could seldom recall that kind of atmosphere. Sure, fans would occasionally get excited, and coaches would complain, and players would sometimes try to distract another player, but we didn't have the kind of animosity and extremism that I witnessed that day.

Sports, unfortunately, and not just baseball, have reached a new and dangerous level, and it concerns me as I begin another season on the field.

Not only on the playing fields, but in our society as a whole, there is a lack of restraint, of self-control being exhibited, and sad to say it's reaching epidemic levels. 

Fortunately, nothing bad happened that day, but in that kind of atmosphere, it could very well have. 

And today as I reflect on the changes I have seen in sports over the years, I thought of the words of an umpire who was umpiring a little league game in Terra Haute, Indiana, and who was struck in the head by a ball thrown at him by a fan. He continued to work the game, but later that evening, he was taken to the hospital for observation. While there, he wrote an eloquent letter to the kind of folks who embarrass you and make you cringe when you attend sporting events. 

He writes, "The purpose of Little League is to teach baseball skills to young men. Obviously, a team which does not play well in a given game yet is given the opportunity to blame that loss on an umpire for the one call or two, is being given a chance to take all responsibility for the loss from their shoulders. A parent or adult leader who permits the younger player to blame his failures on an umpire is doing the worst kind of injustice to that youngster. This irresponsibility is bound to carry over to future years."

Donald Jensen's words still ring true today. What these athletes learn on the ball field will be carried on into every walk of life, and if they see violence and sportsmanlike like conduct exhibited and tolerated by their fans, coaches, parents, and fellow players, they will grow up thinking that this is an acceptable form of behavior in dealing with differences and disagreements.

The next time you think of screaming at a player, coach, or an umpire, just remember the words of the "late"  Donald Jensen- the following morning, he died of a brain concussion.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. And yes, when you are screaming or barking at me or some other umpire for a call you don't like, may you remember  the words of the Apostle Paul who writes: "Don't let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you are sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:29-32). 

And by the way, don't forget that the umpire wearing that mask behind the plate you are screaming at might just be me, and how embarrassing that would be?