Leadership Thought: A Pastor's Episode of "Stinkin Thinkin"

Dear Friends,

A man walked into a fortune teller's tent at a carnival and paid his money to have his palms read. The fortune teller said, "I see many things." 

"Like what?" he asked.

"You will be poor and unhappy until you're 45," said the fortune teller.

"Oh," he said dejectedly. Then he had a thought. "What will happen when I'm 45?"

"You'll get used to it." 

Negative thinking often sets the tone for our life. If we expect things to be bad, that is the way they will be. On the other hand, if we expect things to be good, that's the way they will be.

In Alcoholics Anonymous, people often talk about "stinkin thinkin." 

A few years ago, I had an episode of "stinkin thinkin." It was at a time when we were pre-recording sermons during Covid. I was working on a Sunday message and trying to record it while speaking into a computer screen. Preaching to a video camera was a new and challenging assignment for me. It was not an easy or natural undertaking for me, and I had continually reinforced that belief by telling myself again and again how difficult it was.

I had just spent four excruciating hours trying to record a 25-minute message, with Pastor Nick, who was overseeing the taping. Again, and again, I would make a mistake and have to back up and start all over again. Finally, in exasperation, I cried out, "This is impossible," and guess what?  It would continue to be impossible as long as I persisted in reminding myself that this is the way it would continue to be.

I told Pastor Nick that my mind was so filled with negative thinking that I needed to go home and reassess my attitude. When I arrived the next day to repeat the taping, I possessed an entirely different attitude. I attacked the challenge, believing that I could accomplish the task and within an hour I had completed the recording.

What had changed? It was my attitude. In the intervening 24 hours, I had realized that my attitude was impacting my actions. My negative expectations had become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

In between recordings, the Holy Spirit had reminded me of one of the first verses I memorized as a new believer: Philippians 4:13, which proclaims, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Shame on me. I had found myself giving up when I should have been looking up. I had succumbed to "stinkin thinkin."

Ben Franklin once said, "Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall receive it," and nothing was just what I had received.

Dwelling upon past negative actions and experiences will always get us in trouble. Reminding ourselves of our own inadequacies and insufficiencies will keep us from achieving those significant things God wants us to accomplish. Shame on me for forgetting this and reminding myself of my weaknesses rather than His strength, and my past experiences rather than His present power.

We need to be like the little engine that could, who kept climbing to the top of the steep mountain all the while repeating, "I think I can," "I think I can," "I think I can." And then when we make it to the top, we can relax, enjoy the feeling, look back down the mountain and proclaim because of God's power, "I knew I could,"  "I knew I could,"  "I knew I could."

Let us always remember that what seems to be the end may really be a new beginning,

Yours in faith and friendship, 

Tom

Leadership Thought: A Message for Everyone, Especially Fisherman.

Dear Friend,

It has been said that “nothing is too small that it can’t be blown out of proportion.” As believers we need to be truth tellers. We need to be extremely careful that we never “blow the truth out of proportion”

We need to be careful with the things we say with our lips, so that we develop a reputation for always being honest in every aspect of our lives, unlike the chairman of a local chamber of commerce I read about. 

He had to introduce a speaker of the organization’s annual black-tie affair. He introduced the speaker with the following words. “The man I am about to introduce is someone I know you are going to enjoy listening to. He is the most gifted businessman in the country. He  made one hundred million dollars in California oil.”  

The speaker came to the podium rather embarrassed. “Mr. Chairman,” he said, “Thank you for the wonderful introduction. However, the facts need some clarification. It wasn’t oil, it was coal. It wasn’t in California; it was in Pennsylvania. It wasn’t one hundred million dollars. It was only one hundred thousand. And it wasn’t me. It was my brother, and he didn’t make it, he lost it.”

Hopefully, unless we are fisherman, not any of our conversations are as untruthful as this man’s introduction.

Paul writes in Col 3:9-10 “Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him.”

Solomon reminds us “ lying lips are an abomination to the Lord.” Proverbs 12:13.

As believers we are called to be truthful in every area of our life. Let us never give anyone reason to question our truth telling ability.

When we speak, let us “speak the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15). And if we can’t speak it in love, then it is not yet ready to be spoken.

Speaking the truth and always being honest has several advantages. You will never have to remember your lies, which often takes more energy to remember than it does to be honest. And secondly you will earn the trust and respect of others who will know they can always trust you and your word.

Let’s all work together to stop "truth decay.”

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

 

Leadership Thought: Everyone of Us Should Learn the Donkey Principle  Dear Friends, Everyone should read this story: One day, a Donkey and a Tiger got into an argument over the color of the grass. “The grass is blue,” said the Donkey. “That’s ridiculous,” replied the Tiger. “The grass is clearly green.” When the argument grew more and more intense, they decided to find the Lion, King of the Jungle, to settle the debate. When they approached the Lion, the Donkey exclaimed, “Your Highness, isn’t it true that the grass is blue?” “Yes,” the Lion calmly answered, “The grass is blue.” Not yet satisfied, the Donkey continued, “The Tiger disagrees and argues with me. You must punish him.” The Lion nodded, “I will. The Tiger will be punished with a year of silence.” The Donkey walked off into the jungle, celebrating his victory. Before the Tiger turned to leave, he looked up at the Lion. “Your Highness, why have you punished me? After all, you must see the grass is clearly green.” The Lion nodded, “Yes, of course the grass is green.” “Then why am I being punished?” asked the Tiger. “Because someone as wise as you should never waste time proving anything to a fool.” Let’s call its lesson The Donkey Principle: There will be times in your life when you’re drawn into a discussion with someone who has no capacity to act in good faith. They have no intention of listening to your position or changing their mind. They just want to argue. In those moments, you can choose to opt out. Stop justifying your position to people who show no willingness to hear it. Stop trying to create understanding with those who appear determined to misunderstand. Stop chasing rational outcomes with irrational opponents. The older I get, the more I realize peace has a price. You buy it by saying no. No to drama. No to noise. No to arguments. Each no creates space for the yes that truly matters. Actor Keanu Reeves said it best: “I'm at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you're right. Have fun.” We live in a modern world where social media makes it easier than ever to get pulled into pointless fights. No matter your views or beliefs, someone will make it their mission to drag you into the metaphorical mud. Before you enter any debate, ask yourself two questions: 1. Does this person show a willingness to listen and change their mind? 2. What evidence would cause me to change mine? The first question ensures good faith on their part. The second ensures it on yours. As the old saying goes, “Never wrestle a pig in the mud. You both get dirty—but the pig will enjoy it.” Perhaps this is all best summarized with one simple line: If you argue with a fool, you become one. Your in faith and friendship, Tom  P.S. Thanks to Clint Hurdle who shares the truth of This Excellent Lesson

Leadership Thought: Did You Ever See a Turtle on a Fence Post

Dear Friend

I heard about a pastor who was voted the humblest pastor in America. And the congregation gave him a medal that said, “To the humblest pastor in America.” Then they took it away from him on Sunday because he wore it.

Humility is an important quality in the development of our Christian faith. It’s a characteristic that can strengthen our faith, deepen our relationship with God and impact the lives of those around us. It helps us recognize our limitations and reminds us of our need for grace.

D. L Moody was right when he reminded believers to, "Be humble or you'll stumble.”  A lack of humility can get you in a lot of trouble.

I wish I could say that I have learned that lesson, but I can't. Unfortunately, there have been more times in my life than I would like to admit, when I failed the class on humility.

I still remember the game which took place  20 years ago. It was definitely one of the most embarrassing moments  in my life. For many years I have umpired high school baseball and one year while in South Florida I chose to accept a few college games involving teams making  their spring trips from the north to get out of the cold weather. I felt like I had done reasonably well in the previous few games I had been assigned, and there was a dangerous sense of pride developing in my heart. “This isn't that difficult,” I thought. “Play is a little faster than high school, but I can handle it.” Overconfidence had set in. Then it happened. 

It was the Rutgers versus Kansas State game. I knew some of the players on Rutgers as they had played on a high school travel team on which my son had played.  I also knew their parents who had traveled south to watch them play and there was a part of my prideful nature that wanted them to see how this pastor they knew from New Jersey had progressed as an umpire. I became overly concerned about impressing them with my ability, and suddenly it happened.  I lost my focus, not a good thing to do in any game, but especially in a closely contested one run game when the tensions and emotions were high.

I called a pitch a strike that was obviously far out of the strike zone, and the third base coach erupted in anger and started yelling at me. I knew the moment I made the call that I had badly missed it. The next inning the same thing happened, only thank goodness my equally poor call was on the other team, and by now both coaches were angry and yelling at me. At this point, I couldn’t wait for the game to be finished so I could walk off the field, get into my car and drive away. When the game finished, I apologized to my partner for my performance, quickly sped off for home, never again to do another college game.

Pride and over-confidence had caught up with me, and yes. I stumbled and yes, I was humbled. and I know it will happen again whenever I take my eyes off God and begin trusting in my own strength, ability, and experience.

I contrast my experience with that of William Carey, who is known as the father of the modern-day mission movement. For much of his life, he was a humble cobbler until God called him to the mission field in India. His mission work became well known throughout the world. He became one of the finest linguists  the church has ever known, translating the Bible into 24 Indian languages. 

But not everyone appreciated him. Some disdained his lack of education and were quick to ridicule his rudimentary educational background. One evening at a dinner, a rather distinguished man, in an effort to embarrass Carey, said in a loud enough voice for all to hear: "Carey, I hear that you were a shoemaker before you became a missionary."

Carey looked up and humbly responded, "No sir that is not true. I was a cobbler. who only mended shoes, not a shoemaker who makes shoes."

Carey recognized his value to the Kingdom was not based upon anything but his moment-by-moment dependence upon the Lord. You see when we humble ourselves before the Lord, a vacuum is formed, and when it does, God always steps in to fill that vacuum. 

Jesus in referring to himself said: "I am meek and humble of heart." What accounted for that humility?

Jesus' humility came from his dependence on the Father. He could have used his own power, and his own position to secure whatever he desired, but instead, he depended completely on the Father to provide whatever he might need.  And when we depend completely on the Father, we too will find that we don’t need to depend upon personality, performance, power, or position to secure whatever we might need.  Our faith in Him will free us from pride, and we will discover in the process that "Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18. Yes, God will always bring down the proud and exalt the humble.

Alex Haley, the writer of Roots, the classic piece on the development of slavery, has a huge picture in his office. And it’s the picture of a turtle on a fence post. He said it was there to remind him of a valuable lesson he once learned: "If you ever see a turtle on a fence post, you know, he had some help."

May God help each one of us to learn this lesson.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: The Story of the Pit

Dear Friends,

It is so easy to talk about helping and caring for people, but it is another thing to become involved and do something specific to help and care for them.

The struggle we all have as believers is translating knowing what to do into doing what we know 

Years ago, some of us wore WWJD bracelets reminding us to ask,"\What Would Jesus Do?"  Today there is another bracelet available with a more appropriate word change- DWJD-"Do What Jesus Did." 

I believe that this message more accurately addresses how we should live out our neighborly love.

The Parable of the Good Samaritan reminds us that we are to do good to our neighbor, who is defined as anyone in need. 

The religious leaders who should have helped, walked right on by their neighbor, while the religiously despised Samaritan chose to stop and help. He saw his neighbor's need and decided to do something about it, and so should we.

He invested his time and money and sought help for the man because he valued him as God valued him.

The religious leaders disagreed spiritually and politically with the man, and as a result they ignored his need and walked on by.

Jesus wants us to value and care for all people. He teaches  that we should unconditionally love everyone regardless of who they are. If they are in need, they are our neighbors, and we should strive to meet their needs, rather than ignore them.

John Maxwell says, "If I see you hurting, I will help you. If I see you broken, I will fix you, but if I see you as valuable, I will serve you.” Jesus teaches us that all humans are valuable and deserve to be loved and served.

As believers we are to be salt and light, to make things better and brighter and this means we must always be willing to "do as Jesus did." We are to love everyone unconditionally, regardless of our differences politically, spiritually, socially, or relationally.

The story of the Pit is a good reminder of this lesson: 

A man fell into a pit and couldn't help himself out.

 A subjective person came along and said, "I feel for you down there."

An objective person said, "It's logical that someone would fall down there."

A Christian Scientist came along, "You only think you're in a pit."

A Pharisee said, "Only bad people fall into a pit."

A Mathematician calculated how he fell into the pit.

A Rockhound asked him of any rare specimens in the pit. 

A News Reporter wanted an exclusive story on his pit.

A Fundamentalist said, "You deserve your pit."

A Realist said, "That's a pit"

A Geologist told him to appreciate the rock strata in the pit.

An IRS man asked if he was paying taxes on the pit. 

The County Inspector asked if he had a permit to dig a pit.

A professor gave him a lecture on the Elementary Principles of the Pit.

An Evasive person avoided the subject of the pit altogether. 

A Self-Pitying person, said, " You haven't seen anything until you've seen my pit." 

A Charismatic said, "Just confess that you are not in a pit."

An Optimist said, "Things could be worse."

A Pessimist said, "Things will get worse." 

Jesus seeing the man took him by the hand, and lifted him out of the pit, and so should we!

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: What Sometimes Happens When the Gospel Doesn't Take

Dear Friends,

Recently a friend  shared some exciting news about one of her friends who recently  had come to faith in Jesus Christ. She and her husband had been repeatedly witnessing this person, but their efforts were of no avail. 

Unresponsive to their efforts, she would typically respond "I am a good person, and I don't believe in all of that 'sin stuff' you are always talking about."

Through tears of joys my friend related how a friend of hers had shared the good news of the gospel with her, and she had just professed her faith in Christ.

She told me how a friend had been witnessing to her and that she kept telling me the same thing you had always been telling me, and suddenly it made sense.

Her story reminded me of a similar story  told by pastor and author Steve Brown.

Steve shared, "I talked to a young lady about Christ, about three years ago. I had gone to her within the context of an evangelistic program, and I sat down with this young lady and her husband. and I took almost an hour to explain the gospel and how Jesus loved her and how she could receive Jesus and become a Christian."

"Her response was blank!  A dead wall!  I want you to know I never saw anybody so insensitive to the Gospel of Christ." 

"She was sweet and nice about it, and she simply said, 'It doesn't make sense.' 'I don't understand it.' 'I don't know how it can be made real in my life.'"

" About a year later, I had an opportunity to tell her again about Christ, and after I finished, do you know what she said?"

"She said, 'Steve, why didn't you tell me this before?’”  

"What was happening? I'll tell you what was happening. Through the work of the Holy Spirit, God was revealing Himself to her. Her heart  had been finally touched, and the scales of unbelief had been removed from her eyes."

"I said,  'Jane, what do you think I've been telling you for a year now?'"

A person can hear the gospel again and again and yet remain unmoved, and then suddenly the Holy Spirit moves within, and a heart is changed and a person is born again. 

What previously she couldn't believe and which sounded stupid and ridiculous now became alive and the result was life changing.

1 Corinthians 2:14, tells us that "the unspiritual man does not receive the gifts of the spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned." 

When someone talks about sin's power to blind you to your sin he is talking about something frightening, something radical, something that has the power to prevent you from seeing the devastating consequences of your sinful nature.

Author and pastor John Piper writes, "No one merely decides to experience the Christian Scriptures as the all compelling, all satisfying truth of one's life. Seeing is a gift. And so, the free embrace of God's word is a gift. God's spirit opens the eyes of our heart, and what was once boring, or absurd or foolish, or mythical is now self-evidently real."

It is the supernatural act of the Spirit that opens our eyes and penetrates our hearts and brings truth that results in genuine repentance. Such truth reminds us that it is our sin that nailed Christ to the cross, and it is His forgiveness that enables us to experience a life changing event that makes us  new persons. We joyfully discover that the "old has passed away, the new has come."

If this message seems too strange, and too ridiculous to believe, you now know why. The scales from your eyes have yet to be lifted.

There is something wrong with us. "We are dead in our trespasses and (the) sins in which (we) once walked." Ephesians 2:1, and it is only the Holy Spirit that can touch our hearts and through faith make us alive.

Because this friend joyfully discovered the truth that all her "sin stuff" really mattered, she found a new life that lasts forever, and so can  anyone who simply says yes to Christ and allows Him to take those scales from your eyes. 

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: How to Be the Kind of Leader People Love and Respect 

Dear Friends,

How do you become a leader that everyone loves and respects?

Today we are in desperate need of such leaders. I am not  talking about the kind of leader who seeks to win popularity contests, but the kind who earns your trust and respect on difficult ground. You may not always agree with them, but that never causes you to lose respect for them.

I long for leaders I can trust, and who will value, inspire, and empower me.

Maya Angelou said, "People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how they made you feel," and the kind of leader I long to follow is the one who makes me feel special.

At a recent bible study, I was asked how we as leaders can make visitors to our church feel special, and I responded that we need to remember four words: "I notice," and "you matter."

Those two expressions are critical to keep in mind when relating to people.

"I notice" communicates awareness. It demonstrates that the person you see is important to you, and that you are aware of them and their actions. 

"You matter" communicates you care about the person and that you value them. 

When we express the words "I notice" and "you matter" we acknowledge and affirm people's worth and value.

Leaders need to be on the lookout for ways to add value to others. We can do this by finding opportunities to  show appreciation. When I am with people, I am always looking for something noteworthy about them, some quality or action I can affirm, for I know how important it is for people to be reminded of their value and their worth.

I always try to remember and use people's names when I'm engaged in a conversation, for there are few words that are sweeter to hear than one's own name. 

When I finish talking with someone, my hope is that I will have discovered something unique about them that I can affirm as I close out the conversation.

In conversations I will frequently envision an imaginary sign hanging around one's neck that reads, "Please help me feel important."  I might also  place an imaginary10 on their forehead to remind me of how I want them to feel about themselves when our time together is completed.

I look for opportunities to express my appreciation of people, so I'm eager to catch them doing something worthy of recognition. When I witness such an action, I try to quickly express my appreciation for what I have observed.

Shortly before John Maxwell's father died, he offered this advice to his son. “If you want to be a successful leader you must value all people, believe in them, and unconditionally love them."

If you and I follow that same advice, we will be well on our way to being the kind of leader people will love and respect.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom