Leadership Thought: How to Be the Kind of Leader People Love and Respect 

Dear Friends,

How do you become a leader that everyone loves and respects?

Today we are in desperate need of such leaders. I am not  talking about the kind of leader who seeks to win popularity contests, but the kind who earns your trust and respect on difficult ground. You may not always agree with them, but that never causes you to lose respect for them.

I long for leaders I can trust, and who will value, inspire, and empower me.

Maya Angelou said, "People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how they made you feel," and the kind of leader I long to follow is the one who makes me feel special.

At a recent bible study, I was asked how we as leaders can make visitors to our church feel special, and I responded that we need to remember four words: "I notice," and "you matter."

Those two expressions are critical to keep in mind when relating to people.

"I notice" communicates awareness. It demonstrates that the person you see is important to you, and that you are aware of them and their actions. 

"You matter" communicates you care about the person and that you value them. 

When we express the words "I notice" and "you matter" we acknowledge and affirm people's worth and value.

Leaders need to be on the lookout for ways to add value to others. We can do this by finding opportunities to  show appreciation. When I am with people, I am always looking for something noteworthy about them, some quality or action I can affirm, for I know how important it is for people to be reminded of their value and their worth.

I always try to remember and use people's names when I'm engaged in a conversation, for there are few words that are sweeter to hear than one's own name. 

When I finish talking with someone, my hope is that I will have discovered something unique about them that I can affirm as I close out the conversation.

In conversations I will frequently envision an imaginary sign hanging around one's neck that reads, "Please help me feel important."  I might also  place an imaginary10 on their forehead to remind me of how I want them to feel about themselves when our time together is completed.

I look for opportunities to express my appreciation of people, so I'm eager to catch them doing something worthy of recognition. When I witness such an action, I try to quickly express my appreciation for what I have observed.

Shortly before John Maxwell's father died, he offered this advice to his son. “If you want to be a successful leader you must value all people, believe in them, and unconditionally love them."

If you and I follow that same advice, we will be well on our way to being the kind of leader people will love and respect.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Sharing the Bad News Before Sharing the Good News

Dear Friend,

The late pastor and author Tim Keller writes: "We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared to believe, yet  at the same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope."

Sharing the gospel with people who fail to accept their flawed and sinful nature is often a challenge. Such people feel little need for a Savior because they perceive themselves to be basically good. They are managing their lives just fine on their own, and they have no need for any outside help.

Such people find it hard to be open, honest, and vulnerable because for them such admission is  a sign of weakness, and acknowledging weakness or admitting need is unacceptable.

For them the gospel is bad news because it reminds them of who they really are-flawed and floundering sinners in need of a Savior.

To witness to them often makes them angry and puts them on the defensive. "Who are you to suggest I might need someone or something to change my life?". 

Too often I have made the mistake of pressuring persons like this to make a decision when the soil of their heart was still hard and they were not yet ready to receive the Savior, and in doing so I only made it harder for the next person who would witness to them.

In such cases, we need to be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit and step back and trust that the seed of faith will be planted by someone else at some distant time and place.

We must remember the words of Paul who writes, "The Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted a seed, Apollos watered it, But God made it grow. So, neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor, for we are God's fellow workers; You are God's field." 1 Corinthians. 3: 2-9.

Yours in faith,

Tom 

Leadership Thought: A Lesson in Witnessing I Learned from the Couple Below
 

Dear Friends,

Yesterday at Millers, a popular breakfast spot where my friends and I often go, I met a wonderful couple shown in the picture above. It was taken over 60 years ago, and today they are in their late 70’s and still walking with Jesus. 

As my friends and I were having breakfast, the man and his wife overheard our conversation and learned that we were Christians by our conversation. There's nothing like the Christian faith to provide opportunities for making new spiritual friendships. The couple came over to our table and introduced themselves, and for the next half hour, we openly talked about Jesus as we shared our various spiritual experiences. 

The man had been a paratrooper and had come to Christ during his military days at Fort Bragg.

I asked the man how he came to know the Lord, and he told me an unforgettable story. He was with four other paratroopers when a woman stopped them and wanted to know if they would like lunch.  She then proceeded to single out my friend, and placing her finger in his chest, she asked, "Can you read? " He said, "Yes, I'm a paratrooper, and I can do most anything!" 

She then handed him a tract and said, "Read this!" As he read it, the Holy Spirit took control, and right there he gave his life to Christ, and for the past 60 years, he and his wife (pictured above) have been faithful followers of Christ.

His conversion experience was certainly not the result of a normal textbook evangelistic presentation, but the Holy Spirit used this woman's unconventional witness to lead him to Christ, and his life was changed forever.

It is easy for us to miss those opportunities the Holy Spirit provides to us to witness to our faith. We convince ourselves that it is not the perfect situation to share our faith. Maybe we don't want to risk the embarrassment of rejection, or we don't want to look foolish, and so we avoid doing what we know God has called us to do.

I confess that this has happened to me, and I am a pastor, and this is something I am trained and expected to do.

I wonder if you and I would ever be bold enough to stop somebody who is with a group of friends and confront them by sticking a finger in their chest, asking if they could read, and then taking the time to share the gospel. That's not the conventional way that people come to faith, but there are countless amazing stories of just such miraculous ways that God has brought people to faith through such unusual evangelistic approaches.

I remember someone telling me we should never pray for opportunities to share our faith; for the opportunities are endless and all around us. Instead, we should pray for the boldness to take advantage of those opportunities, for as Jesus reminds us, "the fields are white unto harvest.”

Paul writes, "I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes." ( Romans1:16). Let it never be said of us that we were ever ashamed of the Gospel.

Many years ago, I remember the late Bill Bright, the founder of Campus Crusade for Christ, sharing an unforgettable definition of evangelism. He said, "Witnessing is sharing Christ in the power of the Holy Spirit and leaving the results up to God." 

I find this statement liberating. Winning people to Christ has nothing to do with us or how wonderful our spiritual presentation might be. It's all of Him and none of me, for it has everything to do with the Holy Spirit.

We are to "Trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not unto our understanding, but in all  our ways we are to acknowledge Him, and He will direct our path."( Proverbs 3:5-6) 

When I look at the picture above of this exuberant couple dancing in the spirit, I realize it might never have existed had it not been for the faith of one sold-out follower of Jesus who was not ashamed or embarrassed to share the gospel. 

If we have placed our faith in Christ, we can rejoice and look forward to what awaits us beyond our earthly existence. But until then, we have a responsibility to share the Good News with others.

As the apostle Paul writes, “How can they call on Him to save them unless they believe in Him? And how can they believe in Him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them?” (Romans 10:14 NLT).

As we walk through our lives today, let us do so with a renewed desire to be His faithful witness, sharing our faith with all those around us. 

Yours faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Something Exciting Is Happening in a Church I Once Pastored

Dear Friends,

I recently completed an excellent book by Jason Tucker titled Speaking Their Language. The book is written by a pastor friend who now leads a church I once pastored in the 90's. It is a book about church revitalization. 

Jason has successfully led his church through dramatic change by redesigning church programs to attract the younger generations. Tower Hill Church, which is now one of the largest Presbyterian churches in the country, has focused its programming on reaching those in the Gen X and Gen Z demographics by 'speaking their language.'

Jason has pastored the church for the last 11 years, and while change has been slow but steady, the church now has two contemporary services and one traditional service, and for Christmas, they offered six worship services to accommodate the large number of worshippers.

Jason would tell you that the changes have not always been easy, especially in worship, where adjustments from a more traditional style of worship have often been difficult for some of the older generation.

Jason points out, "That research tells us that younger generations will avoid a church that primarily offers programs and ministries geared to another generation.

He points out that the church was shaped to reach the post-World War generation, and changes in 'how to do Church’ must be made if it is to remain relevant.

"This being said, I've never met an older church member who didn't long to see younger generations engage in the life of the Church. In fact, they absolutely crave it. The problem is when they dictate the terms."

Jason continues, "Every congregation is a generational relay and must prepare for an eventual passing of the baton of leadership to a successive generation. Our observation is that the leading reason churches are declining is because most are staffed, programmed, and envisioned to reach one generation."

Older generations often find such change difficult, and they wonder if there is a place for them in the church. He says, "The best thing we can do for older or more traditional generations is to empower them to reach and disciple younger generations. When they do, they grow deeper in their faith."

"What about nurturing the faith of older generations? What are we doing for them? We're exhorting them not to waste their lives. We're helping them grow by empowering them to perform a successful generational faith handoff as a first- order faith priority."

He concludes by telling one of my favorite stories told by John Piper at a conference in 2,000 where John exhorted his listeners not to waste their lives.

"I'll tell you what tragedy is. I'll read to you from Reader's Digest what a tragedy is. Bob and Penny took early retirement from their jobs in the Northeast. Five years ago, when he was 59 and she was 51. Now they live in Punta Gorda, Florida, where they cruise in their 30-foot trawler, play softball, and collect shells. That's a tragedy, and people today are spending billions of dollars to persuade you to embrace that tragic dream. And I get 40 minutes to plead with you: Don't buy in. With all my heart, I plead with you: Don't buy that dream. The American dream: a nice house, a nice car, a nice job, a nice family, a nice retirement, collecting shells as the last chapter before you stand before the creator of the universe to give an account of what you did. ‘Here it is. Lord- my shell collection! And I've got a nice swing and look at my boat!' Don't waste your life; don't waste it."

I sometimes worship at Tower Hill, and I can tell you something very exciting is happening in the midst of that fast-growing congregation. If you would like to know more about those changes, I encourage you to pick up a copy of Speaking Their Language

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thoughts: Some of My Best Friends, I’ve Met on Bended Knees.

Dear Friends,

In a few minutes, I will be heading to meet some of my friends at the church. For the past few months, I have been homebound and unable to drive because of my recent hip surgery. So, it’s been a while since I have been able to be with these dear friends. Since I am now able to drive, I will be joining them again at our church.

Who are these best friends? They are my partners in prayer.

Yes, some of the greatest friends I have, I’ve made on bended knee. There are few things that will forge a friendship  faster than praying with another brother or sister.

I am so blessed to meet for prayer with this group of brothers and sisters every Thursday morning,  and for the next hour  spending  time with them fellowshipping and praying together. 

Those of us who will shortly be together know that we will be doing one of the most important works of the church. They all understand the church moves forward fastest on bended knee, and that kingdom business is best accomplished when it’s done through prayer.

Just as we would always close our team's football practice with a team huddle, we too close our time together with a “holy” huddle.

We conclude our prayer time with a ‘holy hug.’ We gather together, forming the tightest circle possible, and with body against body and arms embracing one another, we close out our time with a final exhortation and a hearty Amen. What a feeling of unity we share as that final amen is sounded.

During these times of prayer, friendships are being forged that will last forever.

I believe the greatest barometer of a church’s health and effectiveness will be determined by the number of its people who are engaged in prayer.

Charles Spurgeon said, “The condition of the church may be very accurately gauged by its prayer meetings. The prayer meeting is a ‘grace-o-meter,’ and from it we may judge the amount of divine working (being done) among a people. If God is in the church, then the church must pray. And if He is not there, one of the first tokens of His absence will be a slothfulness in prayer... You can tell how popular the church is by who comes on Sunday mornings. But you can tell how popular Jesus is by who comes to the prayer meetings.”

Fresh Wind Fresh Fire, Jim Cymbala,  p. 29.

It was S.D.  Gordon, who said, “You can do more than pray after you have prayed, but you cannot do more than pray until you have prayed.”

If you would like to forge lasting friendships and see a spirit-filled and thriving church, then join a prayer group.

If you would like to witness a church on fire, then fall on your knees.

If you would like to see something exciting happen this Sunday, then before passing through the church doors, join the ranks of the prayer warriors and silently offer up the following silent prayer. “0 Lord, please lead me to someone whom I might be able to pray with today.”  And then, whether before or after the service, be on the lookout for that person or persons God wants you to for.  As you engage them in conversation, listen carefully for some spoken need they might express, and then, before you conclude your time together, ask them if you could pray for them. People will seldom refuse your offer, and they will never forget your prayer.

If every member came to church with this goal in mind, there would be a spiritual tsunami of encouragement sweeping through your congregation. People would no longer hurry out the doors to the parking lot following the close of worship. Instead, the church would be filled with the sweet fragrance of prayer wafting through the congregation.

There is nothing like praying with and for one another to build and foster community, so why not come to church prepared to offer one of the greatest gifts you could ever give someone, the holy gift of prayer?

I close with the words of Martin Luther, who said, "The need for prayer has never been greater than it is at this time, and it will be still greater from now on until the end of time."

Have a great day, and don't forget that you and I grow best on bended knee.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Why Can't You Christians Get Along?

Dear Friends, 

Christians don't always agree with one another, but they still must learn to love one another.

Paul and Peter had their practical and theological differences. 

Paul writes. "When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong. Before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. but when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group. The other Jews joined him in his hypocrisy so that by their hypocrisy, even Barnabas was led astray.” (Galatians 1:11-13).

Paul has an issue with the actions of Peter, but they still remained brothers in the faith.

Peter writes about the importance of not letting differences divide us.

"Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply from the heart. For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.” (1 Peter 1:22-23).

It really bothers me when I hear pastors criticize one another over minor theological points, or the way they lead their churches.

It is sad when people leave the church because they can't get along with one another, and they remain unwilling to work through their relational or theological differences.

In today's politically charged environment, personal friendships have been severed over differing political views. 

We live in a contentious time, and as believers we need to do everything we can to preserve the spirit of unity within the body. We must never allow our personal differences to fracture our friendships and our fellowship.

The greatest witness to the unbelieving world in that first century church was their unity of those believers, in spite of their many differences, they maintained an amazing spirit of unity, so amazing that those on the outside remarked, "See how they love one another."

Remember that old Christian song we used to sing, “They will know we are Christians by our Love, by our love; Yes, they will know we are Christians by our love." 

We need that kind of love today if we have any chance of convincing the unbelieving world that Christianity makes a difference in how we live and love.

There's an old Jewish legend that tells the story of the place where the temple in Jerusalem was built. 

There were two brothers who loved each other and who had adjoining farms. The farms yielded great crops of wheat. The difference between the two brothers was that one was a bachelor, without a wife and children. The other was married and had many children. 

At the harvest time, when the crops were in, the bachelor brother looked out over his lands, and he said to himself, "the harvest has been plentiful." Then he thought of his brother. "My brother has many mouths to feed.  My brother has more needs than I do." So, he bundled up his wheat and began to carry it to his brother's farm. 

Meanwhile, the other brother looked down across his lands and to himself, "My harvest has been plentiful."  And then his mind turned to his brother. He said, "My brother is a bachelor. My brother yearns for children, and he'll never see those children. My brother has nobody to comfort him in his sorrows and to help him in his hurts.

And so, his brother, too, bound up his wheat and made for his brother's farm. And at the place where these two brothers crossed paths, the Temple of God was built, for heaven was closest to earth at that spot.

Robert Southwell said, "Not where I breathe, but where I love, I live."

Good words for Christians to learn and live by in a contentious and unbelieving world who longs to  know, "Does the Christian faith really make a difference in the way one lives?"

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Take My Hand (A Devotional by Pastor Greg Laurie)

Dear Friends

In the 1800s in London, a little boy wanted to hear the great American evangelist D. L. Moody, who had come to town to preach. This little street urchin made his way across the entire city of London, risking his very life, with no food or proper shoes. After a long journey, he finally came to the great church where Moody was scheduled to speak.

 As he made his way up to the door, an old usher scowled at him and asked, “What are you doing, young man?”

The boy said, “I am going to go hear the great evangelist D. L. Moody.”

“Not looking like that! You are filthy. Go away!”

The little boy was crushed. He was sitting on the steps, crying, when a black carriage pulled up in front of the church. Out of it stepped a large man. He saw the sad little boy on the steps and asked, “Young man, what is wrong?”

The boy answered, “I came here to hear the great preacher D. L. Moody, but they won’t let me in the church.”

“Is that so?” the big man said. “You just put your hand in my hand, and I will see what I can do to help you.”

The little boy put his dirty little hand into the man’s big, clean hand. The man led him right down the middle aisle, past the usher who wouldn’t let him in, to the front row. The big guy sat him in a front-row seat. Then the man stepped up to the pulpit. That man was, of course, D. L. Moody. That young boy couldn’t get in on his own, but when he held Moody’s hand, he walked through the front door.

So, it is with us, because of Jesus. We are filthy in sin. In Psalm 51:5, David wrote, “For I was born a sinner—yes, from the moment my mother conceived me” (NLT).

Isaiah 53:6 says, “All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the sins of us all” (NLT). The apostle Paul wrote, “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard” (Romans 3:23 NLT). Because of our sinfulness, we have no hope of entering Heaven on our own.

Our only hope is Jesus, who takes our dirty hand in His clean one and leads us to a front-row seat in God’s presence. As Paul puts it in the next two verses of Romans 3: “Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood” (verses 24–25 NLT).

The frustrating reality for many people trying to establish themselves today is also the glorious reality of salvation: It all depends on who you know.