Leadership Thought: Content or Covetous?

Dear Friend,

We have heard that “the grass is always greener on the other side of the street,” and that is often true. But as someone once remarked, "so also is the water bill.” You and I have an awful habit of comparing ourselves and what we have with those who have more.  As a result, we often miss the best God has for us because we fail to appreciate the blessings we already have.

Paul possessed the secret to contentment. No matter what, Paul says, “No matter what my circumstances, whether I live under a bridge or in a penthouse, whether I am rich or poor I have learned to be content. His secret: “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:11-13).

Unfortunately, in today’s world when we are bombarded by ads of every variety that are always promising comfort and convenience, happiness, and contentment, we are tempted to think we will also find that happiness in some product or some service. But these things seldom bring happiness or contentment. Just ask some of the lottery winners whose newfound wealth has brought them nothing but misery and discontentment. 

We are too much like the guy described in the following bit of doggerel:

“As a rule, mans a fool

When it cool, he wants it hot.

And when it’s hot, he wants it cool.

Always wanting what is not.”

Happiness comes from within and not without. If there is a vacuum within your heart, Satan will steal in and convince you that happiness is found in a credit card. However, like cotton candy, our purchases may bring temporary pleasure, but soon after the purchase we want something newer and bigger, which almost always means more money. As someone said, “greed has a growling stomach.”

Paul tells us in Philippians 4:19, “My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”

Christ will meet all of our needs, but never all our greed. God wants the best for us, but often we miss that best because we fail to recognize the blessings we already possess.

An ancient Persian legend tells of a wealthy man by the name of Al Haffed, who owned a large farm. One evening a visitor related to him tales of fabulous amounts of diamonds that could be found in other parts of the world, and of the great riches they could bring him. The vision of all this wealth made him feel poor by comparison. So instead of caring for his own prosperous farm, he sold it and went out to find these treasures. But the search proved to be fruitless. Finally, penniless and in despair, he committed suicide by jumping into the sea.

Meanwhile, the man who had purchased his farm noticed one day the glint of an unusual stone in a shallow stream on the property. He reached into the water and, to his amazement, he pulled out a huge diamond. Later when working in his garden, he uncovered many more valuable gems. Poor Al Haffed had spent his life traveling to distant lands seeking jewels, when on the farm he had left behind were all the precious stones his heart could have ever desired.

Security can never be found in a safe deposit box. Jesus has taught us that a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions (Luke 12:15), and He advised his disciples “to lay up treasures for themselves in heaven rather than on earth” (Mt. 6:19f).

Let us never forget that contentment never comes from the accumulation of things, but from the assurance that “God will never leave us or forsake us”, and that’s a promise we can count on.

Yours in faith,

Pastor Tom

Leadership Thought: What I Learned Last Night While Studying the Beatitudes.

Dear Friends,

Last night we were studying the Beatitudes in our Men’s Spiritual Discipleship class. During the class one of our members asked this thought-provoking question: “What if you were one of Jesus' disciples and you were sitting on the Galilean hillside as he taught the message on the Beatitudes for the first time? How would you have reacted? How would you have responded when you heard the words “blessed are the poor in spirit,” or “blessed are the meek” or “blessed are those who mourn"?

Oswald Sanders points out in his book Spiritual Leadership that the word “blessed” or happy, which is often used to introduce each of the  8 Beatitudes, can also be translated "bliss, or “to be envied” or to be  congratulated."  How did those disciples respond when they heard Jesus say it is blissful to mourn, or you are to be envied for being poor in spirit or you are to be congratulated for being meek?

We have read or heard these 8 Beatitudes so many times that some of us even know them by heart, but I wonder how many of us have ever let the truth of their meaning really sink into the depths of our hearts.

For example, when we hear the words “blessed are those who mourn,” or think about the “bliss of mourning” do we fully understand the truth of what we are hearing. How happy are the unhappy is what Jesus is really saying?

In commenting on this particular Beatitude, Sanders writes,  “It is not bereavement that is primarily in view, although that need not be excluded. The word mourn conveys the idea of grief of the deepest kind. It is mourning over sin and failure, over the slowness of our growth in likeness to Christ-mourning over our spiritual bankruptcy” (p.13).

Wow, when was the last time that you or I mourned over our spiritual bankruptcy or grieved over our lack of spiritual growth? I, for one, plead guilty. 

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Don't Let What Happened to Demas, Happen to You!

Dear Friends,

I wonder what happened to Demas. For those who are unfamiliar with this thrice mentioned biblical character, Demas at one time had been a companion of Paul (Philemon 1:24). He was in Rome during Paul’s first imprisonment (Col. 4:14). But something happened. Demas forsook Paul, abandoned the ministry, and skipped town. Paul writes of this sad situation in 2 Timothy 4:10:  “Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica.”

One of the saddest things in ministry is to see a brother or sister abandon the faith and choose the world over Jesus.

Scholars suggest that the Greek world for desert seems to suggest that Demas had not only abandoned his faith but in doing so had left Paul in a time of great need. How hard it must have been for Paul to see this situation unfold. Perhaps you have experienced a similar situation when you have lost a good friend in whom you had placed your faith and trust, and you had helplessly watched him/her set sail for the world's treasures.

We don’t know how it happened, but one of my favorite bible teachers, John Courson in his New Testament Commentary suggests that his decision wasn’t birthed overnight. Courson writes, “The Christian life is like a steam locomotive. When you're first saved and on fire, you stoke the boiler with the Word. You come to church; you are involved in ministry; and you're moving along in your faith. But then you come to a time when you start to think, ‘Hey, I'm cruising along fine. I don't need to feed the fire so fervently. I don't need to study scriptures so consistently. I don't need to have devotions daily. I don't need to go to church regularly because, look, I'm really moving!’”

“But once the fire stops being fed, the engine starts slowing down imperceptibly. Yes, the train keeps moving down the tracks for a time, and everything appears to be going fine, but little by little the engine goes slower and slower until finally it stops dead in its tracks. You might be able to go weeks, months, even years on the momentum you gained in the early days-but if you don't continue to feed the fire, eventually you'll stop altogether. And, like Demas, you will say, ‘What happened? How did I end up here’”? John Courson Application Commentary, p 1328

The Greek verb used in the original text implies that Demas had not merely left Paul but had left him “in the lurch”; that is, Demas had abandoned Paul in a time of need. The apostle was in prison, facing a death sentence, and that’s when Demas chose to set sail. Undoubtedly, Paul was deeply let down by Demas. It’s never easy to see a friend and associate in whom you’ve placed your trust, forsake you in the midst of hardship.

Sadly, Demas chose to accept what Satan had to offer in this world over what God had to offer in the next.

1 John 2: 15 makes it clear regarding the spiritual state of those who love the world: “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them.”

Sadly, nowhere in the Bible do we read of the restoration of Demas.
The tragedy of Demas is being lived out again and again in our world  whenever we see those who would choose temporary benefits over eternal possessions.

“Past service is no guarantee for future faithfulness,” so keep stoking the boiler with the Word, and you’ll keep heading toward heaven and your eternal destination.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: The Rest of the Story: A Last Rites Visit and a Funeral Follow Up.

Dear Friends,

I recently shared my experience of being asked to perform what used to be called' the last rites' but is now known as the "anointing of the sick" in the Roman Catholic church. A Roman Catholic family who had strayed from their church, wanted someone to visit and pray with their dying father. They called our church and asked if a pastor might visit their dying dad.

I called on the family and spent time talking and getting to know them, and then I went into a bedroom where I prayed and anointed their dad who was semi-conscious.  To my surprise a week later I received a call from a local funeral home asking if I would perform the funeral, which I was more than happy to do.

Doing funerals for people you don’t know is always a little tricky. Funeral integrity is important to me, and not knowing the extent of one’s relationship with Jesus, I never want to assume the person is with Jesus even though it is often what friends and family want to hear.

Paul writes in Colossians 3:1-2, “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.”

What better time for us to “set our minds on things above, (and) not on earthly things, than a funeral, so I always want to share the good news of the Gospel, for those who are present. While it is too late for the deceased to hear, it is never too late for those who are living to hear.

On this occasion, I opened the service with a prayer and some reading of scripture, and as I often do, I then invited the family and friends to participate in a time of remembrance and several of those present shared memories of the deceased. They spoke about how Andrew had impacted their lives. Besides making the service more personal,  it provides a way for me to get to know the person better so my prayers and message might be more appropriate.

Having shared, prayed, and read Scripture, it was now time to share the gospel. I find people are more disposed to focusing on eternal things at funerals than at most any other time, so I always do my best to clearly present the way one can come to know Christ and eternal life.

As I was sharing, I experienced that awful sense that people cared little about what I was saying. I well remember one time I was in the midst of sharing a message when the wife of the deceased rolled her wheelchair right up in front of me, and expressed in a voice loud enough for most all to hear, “Let’s say the Our Father and get out of here.” I assured her I would try and be very brief but only a  few minutes later she wheeled herself to the center aisle, did a right turn and wheeled herself right down the aisle to the back of the church. 

If she was trying to send a message, no one, including me, missed her point.

Why do I share this? Because I know there will be times in your life when you will be tempted to avoid sharing the gospel for fear that the person with whom you are speaking is not interested. Yes, there is a time to speak and a time to be silent, and we must be sensitive to the leading of the Spirit, for no one wants to be steam rolled into heaven. But on the other hand, we must never compromise sharing the message of the hope we have in Christ because we fear rejection.

Jesus says, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.” Mark 16:15-16

Paul says, “I am not ashamed of the gospel for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone who believes” (Romans 1:16).

I am reminded of the words of Horatio Bonar, the great saint of yesteryear  who writes, “Uncertainty as to our relationship with God is one of the most enfeebling and dispiriting of things. It makes a man heartless. It takes the pith out of him. He cannot fight; he cannot run. He is easily dismayed and gives way. He can do nothing for God. But when we know that we are of God, we are vigorous, brave, invincible. There is no more quickening truth than this assurance.”

Those are words I sometimes need to hear when I am timid and afraid and reluctant to share the glorious, good news of the Gospel. 

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

 

Leadership Thought: Connecting with People and an Embarrassing Day of Name Association.

Dear Friends,

As one who loves connecting with people, there are a number of things I have learned over the years that have helped me in the 'connection process.' There is nothing new or original in what I share, but just some thoughts and ideas that I have learned and copied down from others. Hopefully, you will find some that will be of help to you as you seek to connect and make friends with others.

1. Ask questions of others and then listen. Don't ever try to be the center of attention. Get to know people's histories. Ask about their hopes and dreams, and be more concerned about being impressed with them than trying to be impressive. Speak about what they care about and always offer direction and hope. French general Napoleon Bonaparte said, "leaders are dealers in hope."

2. Remember the "thirty second rule." In those first thirty seconds make an effort to connect with the people with whom you are talking. Remember the importance of good eye contact. Listen intently to them instead of focusing upon what you want to say. Make them look good. Find a way to thank them for something they have done or accomplished and appreciate something about them that impresses you. Is there something about them, like their appearance, that stands out?

3. Always find ways to enlarge others. Enlarging others makes you larger. Believe the best about people and be willing to give your power away. Secure people love to delegate. It makes you more appreciated, and it develops a stronger connection as well as greater self confidence in the people to whom you delegate.

4. Stop lording over people and start listening to them. Stop role playing for advancement and start risking for others' benefit. Stop seeking your own way, and start serving others. Albert Schweitzer said "I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know; the ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve. If you want to lead on the highest level, be willing to serve on the lowest level."

5. Let people know that you need them. President Woodrow Wilson said "We should not only use all the brains we have but all that we can borrow. Why stop with just their brains. Enlist people's hands and hearts too". Lyndon Johnson was right when he said, "There are no problems we cannot solve together and very few that we can solve ourselves."

6. Remember the three "A" letter words when you are with people: attention, affirmation, and appreciation.

7. Remember "a gossip is one who talks to you about other people. A bore is one who talks to you about himself. And a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself". Make sure you are numbered among the last.

9. Imagine there is a sign on the chest of everyone with whom you speak that cries out, "Please help me feel important."

10. When natural find a way to incorporate the following question into your conversation, "Do you know what I like (admire) (respect)......about you,” and then state what it is.

11. Always leave people happier than when you met them.

12 No phony baloney.  If you are not sincere about what you share, then don't share it.

A few years ago when I was teaching in another church, I asked people to get up and greet one another, and then to remember the names of the people they greeted and after the service to try to connect with them. I personally did just that, and as a result I made friends with two parents and their seven-year-old son. Now I confess I didn't score 100 percent on their names, but at least two out of three 'ain't' bad.  I always try to remember names by association, so after the service I walked back down to talk with them, and I got the mother's name and the child's name right. One because the mother's name was the name of one of my daughter's best friends, and the child's name was Aaron, who I associated with the Old Testament priest. But when I addressed the dad with the word Nathaniel, he corrected me and said his name was Benjamin-right biblical idea of association but wrong Testament!!!!!!!!  However, we still connected, and after the service when I was standing at the door, the family again took time to talk with me. They told me what a wonderful church it was, and how blessed Aaron was to be a part of our special needs ministry of the church.

You know people may not like the message or the music, or the sanctuary, or a number of other things your church or your worship service, but one thing they will never forget is the people they met. Connecting and relating to people trumps any bad or negative experience a worshipper might experience.

Let's start connecting, and oh yes, don't carry the memory association thing too far. Early on in my ministry, I took Jean with me to visit some new people I had met in church. Their names were the Snows. I walked up to the door, and confidently thinking I would have no problem remembering their name by association so when the opened, I calmly said, "Jean, I want you to meet  Mrs. White." The woman calmly responded with a smile, “I am Mrs. Snow.” I remember that encounter to this day, and I will never forget Mrs. Snow or is it White. Well, how about Mrs. "Snow White".

Yours in faith,

Tom

 

Leadership Thought: Be an Example.

“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

Dear Friend,

One of my favorite Christian pastors is Greg Laurie. Greg writes a daily devotional that I seldom fail to read each morning, and because I felt this morning’s message on being an example was so instructive, I share it with you. Greg writes, “I heard the story of a father and his young son who were climbing a mountain. They came to a very difficult place on the trail, and the father was thinking about which way he should go. As he was deliberating, he heard his son’s voice behind him, saying, “Choose the right path, Dad. I’m coming right behind you.”

The primary spiritual responsibility for raising your children doesn’t belong to the church. It doesn’t belong to Sunday school or a Christian school. It belongs to you. It takes place in your home. You be the godly example, the godly leader. You read the Bible to your children before they go to bed at night. Pray with them and model what it is to be a follower of Jesus Christ.

The Bible says, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4 NKJV).

Put parameters in your children’s lives and use strong standards to raise them. And start early, because it’s a lot easier to build a child than it is to repair an adult.

Parents have a direct influence on their children. Moms and Dads, your children are watching you. Little eyes are watching, and little ears are listening. They listen to what you say, but more importantly, they watch what you do.

Let’s say, for example, that parents drink in front of their kids. Then one day their kids have a problem with alcohol, and they wonder why. Or a couple argues in front of the kids, sometimes even asking them to take sides in the argument (which is always a horrible idea). Then they’re shocked when their children have the same issues in their lives.

Live a life with the Lord that will make your child desire the same relationship with Jesus Christ. Be a good example.”

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: I Can't Work, Grandma's Got the Hoe.

Dear Friends,

A teenager was lounging on the floor, watching television, when the phone rang.

“Hello, son,” said the boy’s father.” Where is your mother?”

“She's out working in the garden,” the distracted teen responded.”

“What! Your mother is not as young or as strong as she used to be. Why aren't you out there helping her?”

“Because I can't dad,” the son replied. “Grandma's using the other hoe!”

Now there is a young man who probably  isn't going to accomplish much in life unless he learns to develop a different work ethic.

Paul writes in 1 Timothy 4: 9-10, “The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance. For to this end we toil and strive because we have our hopes set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe.”

I was struck by Paul's words, “for this we labor and strive,” for these words communicate the idea of hard work. The word labor means  “to work to the point of weariness,” and the word strive comes from a Greek word that means  “to agonize in a struggle.”

Leaders must be willing to work hard if they are going to succeed at whatever they do. Former President Dwight Eisenhower was right when he said, "There are no victories at bargain prices, for work is always the price of success."

Oswald Sanders, writes, "If a leader is unwilling to pay the price of fatigue for his leadership, it will always be mediocre.” He goes on to say, “True leadership always exacts a heavy toll on the whole man, and the more effective the leadership is, the higher the price to be paid” (Spiritual Leadership). 

 

The person who seeks to impact the lives of others, must recognize that we labor not for temporal success but for future rewards. Paul writing to the Corinthians said, “We labor that, whether present or absent, we may be accepted of him” (2 Cor 5:9).

Why is this true? It is because  we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ where we will stand before our Master, and He will reward us for our faithfulness and service for him, and that reward will be commensurate with the service we have rendered on earth. 

Again, Paul writes, “If any man builds on this foundation (the foundation  of Jesus Christ), using gold, silver, costly stones,  or wood, hay, or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the days will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. It will be revealed with fire and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames” (1 Corinthians 3:12-15).

I can present him wood, hay, or straw, or gold, silver and costly stones, but when the offering of my life’s efforts are passed through the flames of fire, I pray that what is offered will not be burned up, but that it shall come through the fire untouched by the flames, revealing the quality of service that has stood the test of divine judgment.

In closing, John Calvin’s physician told him to stop working or he would die, and Calvin reportedly replied, "Would you have my Master come and find me loitering?”

Let's not loiter through life like the young man in the story above. Let’s always be willing to work hard and to give our very best knowing that what we present will not only be a true reflection of ourselves, but more importantly of the Master we serve.

Yours in ministry,

Tom

P. S. “When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt” Henry J. Kaiser.

 

Leadership Thought: How to Fail and Never Be a Failure.

Dear Friend,

If you were in a class and the teacher asked you how many of you have ever failed, I am sure every hand would be raised. No one gets through life without failing. However just because you fail does not mean you are a failure.

No one would suggest Thomas Edison was a failure and yet is has been said he failed over 1000 time in his efforts to make the light bulb. He was not a failure because he learned from his failures.

Someone said failure is getting up one more time than you get knocked down, and like Thomas Edison an expert is merely someone who has failed more times than anyone else in the field but refuses to give up.

Failure never leaves us the same. You and I always have a choice when we face it. When we fail at something, we can choose to leave our failure behind, and determine never to try it again, or we can learn from it, grow through it, and change for the better.

Failure is never fatal but failure to change might be. Just ask the alcoholic who continues to follow the same path that always leads to the same outcome. Sobriety is achieved by making different choices and by learning from past decisions.

A failure is never a failure if you learn from it. Like a former football coach would tell his players, “If you’re going to fail, then fail forward in the direction of the goal.

“Failure is not an event; it is only a judgment about an event.” How I view it will determine what I do with it.

Warren Bemis a leadership expert interviewed 70 top executives in various fields of learning, and none of them viewed their mistakes or failure as failures. Some described them as “detours”, “learning experiences,” “opportunities for growth,” and the one I like best, “tuition paid.”

Satan's strategy is to get us preoccupied with our failures, and once he has accomplished this, he has won the battle.

Paul, however, knew how to deal with the devil’s strategy for in Philippians 3: 13-14 he writes, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, (Paul realized his failures and his limitations), but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do, forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Paul did not look back, and neither should we, except to learn from our mistakes so that we will not repeat them again.

Wouldn't you like to have been there when Jesus talked to Peter after the resurrection? I am sure that Peter must have begged for forgiveness for his failure in forsaking his Lord. But if I know Jesus, He probably said to Peter, “That's okay, ‘bro’. You may have failed, but you are forgiven. You may have failed, but your failure is forgotten. You may have failed, but you're not a failure. You have failed, but I know you are going to finish strong and finish strong he did.

Don't let your failures make you a prisoner of the past. Don’t give up, for it is always too soon to quit. Remember the words of the psalmist who wrote, “If the Lord delights in a man's way, He makes his steps firm; though he stumbles, he will not  fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand” (Psalm 37: 23- 24).

 

I don't know where you are in life or how often you have felt like a failure, but remember the victorious Christian life is a series of new beginnings, and you can start today. Clear the slate. Start over again. Don't look back, and keep your eyes on the goal, and if you do, I know you will discover the joy of finishing strong.

Yours in Christ and one desiring to fail forward,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Your Work Reveals Your Character.

Dear Friends,

It has been  said that every job is a self-portrait of the person who performed it. It is true that our work is a clear reflection of our character. What kind of workers are we? If we could ever drop in on our employer’s conversation with a colleague, would we be flattered or embarrassed by what we heard as they talked about us?

This makes me think of a story I read  about a young man who rushed into a service station and asked the manager if he had a pay phone. The manager nodded and pointed to a nearby phone. The boy called a number and waited for an answer. When the call was answered, the boy said in a deep voice,  “Sir, could you use an honest, hardworking young man to work for you?” 

The station manager couldn't help overhearing the question. After a moment or two the boy said, “Oh, you already have an honest, hardworking young man? Well, OK. Thanks just the same.” With a broad smile stretched across his face, he hung up the phone and started back to his car, humming, and obviously elated by what he heard.

“Hey, just a minute,” the station manager called after him. “I couldn't help but hear your conversation. Why are you so happy? I thought the guy said he already had somebody and didn't need you.” 

The young man smiled, Well, you see, I am that honest, hardworking young man, and I was just checking up on my job!” 

We are employees working for the King of Kings, and because of this our work should reflect His character. Whatever we do, we should seek to do it the best we can. Good workers don't take shortcuts. They don’t cut corners. If they say they are going to do something, you can be sure that it will be done. They always autograph their work with excellence.

I taught a high school class on leadership many years ago, and ringing in my mind was a question I often asked of my students to impress upon them the importance of doing their best and never cutting corners. I would ask them, “Did you paint the back door as well as the front door?" 

I know there have been times in my life when I have done less than my best, and when my answer would have been no to the question I asked. But when this happens, I am often convicted of a verse  I have memorized and which I often use in closing out my personal letters. It is Colossians 3:23-24: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

And by the way, did you know that the extra mile is the only stretch of the highway where there are never any traffic jams?”

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude.

Leadership Thought: An Embarrassing Response to a ‘Bonus Bearing’ Brother.

Dear Friends,

Yesterday after church I received news that our church leadership had blessed me and our two other pastors with a generous bonus. My awkward , and yes even goofy response to his news of this gracious gift, puzzled me. Long ago I learned that “reflection turns experience into insight,” so this morning I took some time to examine why I responded as I did. And one of the questions I asked myself, was  why is it so much easier for me to give gifts than to receive?

As a Christian I know “it is more blessed to give than to receive,” and as a pastor I know there is giving attitude  ingrained within that naturally wants to be on the on the giving end. But why does this giving nature often seem to exempt me from enjoying and affirming the gifts of others.

I thought I was making strides in learning how to be more comfortable when I  on the receiving end, but yesterday’s experience caused me to seriously question my self-assessment.

Most of us have grown up with the mentality that it is much better to give than to receive, and this is a noble principle, and one which safeguards us from self-centeredness. But how does this mentality impact our social relationships when we receive affirmation, compliments, and expressions of love when sincerely given by others?  If such expressions cause us to squirm and feel uncomfortable, how does it make the one who offers them feel? All of this caused me to ask why can’t some of us be as good at receiving gifts as giving them?

Some suggest our difficulty in receiving is a defense against intimacy. It’s a defense that helps us keep people at arm’s length. But when we deflect a complement or refuse to embrace a gift, we deprive ourselves of a special opportunity to connect with another.

When we are offering a kind word or doing something special for someone. we are in control, but we surrender control the moment we are on the receiving end.  Receiving causes us to feel a certain vulnerability that makes us feel uncomfortable.

All of this reflection led me to the following quote emphasizing the important balance between giving and receiving. John Amodeo writes “The parched earth can’t let in life-giving rain if it is covered by a plastic tarp…Without the capacity to be touched by caring and appreciation, we render these gifts less meaningful. Sacred receiving, letting things in with heartfelt gratitude, is a gift to the giver!  Both people are giving and receiving in their own unique ways. This shared experience can be profoundly sacred and intimate—a moment of delectable grace.” John Amodeo, “Dancing with Fire:” A Mindful Way of Loving Relationships-taken from the internet.

I sent an e-mail this morning to my ‘bonus bearing” friend, apologizing for my inappropriate response to his news of such a gracious gift. I hope this Leadership Thought, which I am about to forward to him, will clearly communicate my sincere appreciation for the news he offered and my future intentions to work on my gift receiving aptitude.

Yours still learning and hopefully still growing,

Tom

Leadership Thought: A Plastic Bag, 4 Spiritual Laws, and a Heart to Lead Others to Jesus.

Dear Friends,

The author Mark Cahill, a traveling evangelist, has titled one of his books, The One Thing You Can’t Do in Heaven. He goes on to point out this one thing you will be unable to do is to share your faith with unbelievers, for there won’t be any there.

The only time you and I have to share our faith in Jesus is this side of eternity, and I wonder how we are doing. I, for one, confess that I know I am not as intentional about sharing my faith as I once was. Maybe I have lost some of the passion I once had when I was first saved, and maybe it is because  I am not around as many unbelievers as I once was before I became a pastor. In any event, I am praying for a greater zeal for witnessing in whatever remaining time I have on planet earth.

The great preacher of yesteryear, Charles Spurgeon, asks a penetrating question. “Have you no wish for others to be saved? (If not)”, “then you are not saved yourself.” The One Thing You Can’t Do in Heaven, Mark Cahill, p 55. Now I wouldn’t go as far as Spurgeon to say you are not saved if you never witness,  but I do believe a lack of witnessing can be an indication of a lack of spiritual maturity.

Would that more of us would be like the great missionary David Brainerd, who was  consumed by one ambition and that was to win souls for the Kingdom. He wrote in his diary,  "I cared not where or how I lived or what hardships I endured so that I could but gain souls for Christ. While I was asleep, I dreamt of such things and when I waked the first thing I thought of was winning souls to Christ.” George Whitefield shared a similar ambition, when he wrote, “If God did not give me souls, I believe I would die.”

Evangelism must never become a special task for special people at special times, but it should be the normal task for all the church- all the time. It is a ministry for God's rank and file. Each one of us needs to be alert for opportunities to witness to others about our love of our Savior. Peter writes, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with  gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander” (1 Peter 3: 15-16).  

Danny Lehmann, author of Beautiful Feet: Steps to a Lifestyle of Evangelism, writes, “There is a difference between speaking truth in love and loving to speak the truth. Too many would be followers of Christ are lost because someone bludgeoned them to death with the truth. They may have spoken the truth, but they failed to do it in love, and so the lost remained lost, and the soul became hardened to future witnessing efforts.”  We need to love people into the Kingdom with both our lives as well as our lips, and there is a need for both of these evangelistic approaches.”

Danny told how his friend Ray Comfort, another traveling evangelist, promised to give $1000 if anyone could ever catch him without a gospel tract on his person. Once an inspiring opportunist grabbed Ray after he got out of a swimming pool- hoping to be an instant winner. Ray smiled and pulled out a plastic - wrapped tract out of his swim trunks (Beautiful Feet, Danny Lehman, p. 15)

Ray Comfort is always ready to give a reason for the hope he has, and likewise we should be ready as well. We don't need to pray for opportunities to witness, for they are all around us. We need to pray for boldness to seize and speak a word for Jesus. And yes, don't be caught without a witnessing tool.  So, get out that plastic bag, insert a “4 Spiritual Laws” or whatever witnessing tool you use and get on with the task of gossiping the gospel. And remember, you are either a missionary or you are in need of a missionary.

Yours in faith,

Tom

Leadership Thought: The Day I Offered Last Rites to a Dying Friend.

Dear Friends

Yesterday I did something that I had never done before. I offered last rites to a 93-year-old dying man. But Tom,  I thought that the service of last rites was something that only Roman Catholics practiced. Well, that might be true, but I figured with a little improvisation, I could  be an adequate ‘stand in.’

Our church secretary had relayed the message to me that a woman had called the church and wondered if one of our pastors could offer last rites to her 93-year-old dying father. My first thought was why is she calling a Protestant church and not a Catholic priest to perform this spiritual ministry?

I returned the woman’s call, and to my surprise the woman asked me if I would come over to her house and  offer last rites to her dad. I explained that this was something a bit foreign to a Protestant pastor, but if she was OK with it, I would be happy to accommodate her wishes.

I sat with the family and listened as they shared their loving remembrances of their father, and grandfather, and  I was touched by their love for him and the quality of care they had been providing him over the last three months . After a time of listening to their stories, I  entered  the bedroom  where Andrew man was lying, and I  spoke a few words to  him. Andrew was unable to communicate and was heavily sedated. I talked to him about how one through faith in Jesus could possess the promise of eternal life, I then read some Scriptures,  anointed him with oil, prayed over him, and left. Maybe I had been there  ten minutes at the most, but when I walked out of his room, I felt like God had purposely called me for such a special time as this. I spent a little more time with the family, offered a prayer for them, and left.

I was grateful that I had the chance to do something I had never done before, and even though the service I performed was probably much different from the service performed by a Roman Catholic priest, I felt like God had used me to bless a family in their time of need.

There are times when God takes us out of our comfort zones to do something that is not normal or natural for us. I could have called a Roman Catholic friend and asked if he would perform the service, but I am glad I didn’t, for I will never forget the wonderful feeling I experienced in being used to bring a measure of peace to a family in their time of need.

Ministry opportunities can sometimes surprise us. We may feel totally unprepared and inadequate to address them. But if we will simply trust in the Holy Spirit to guide and direct us, God will use us in ways beyond our fondest dreams.

The next time you are in a situation where you recognize a need for ministry, don’t look for a “professional prayer,” but realize that maybe God has called you to be the “stand in.” You are the minister, and while you may feel imperfect and inadequate and completely unprepared for the mission, God will provide you the words and the wisdom to fulfill the task.

You don’t have to be a pastor, a missionary, or a super-spiritual star. All you have to do is possess a heart for God and a willingness to get outside your comfort zone. And when you do, you will be surprised how God will use you.

Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to “trust in the Lord with all our heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make straight your paths.” That a promise you can hold on to, even when, like me,  you feel unprepared and inadequate.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

 

Leadership Thought: Are You Maintained or Moving Forward like the Emu and the Kangaroo?

Dear Friends,

Let me ask you a personal question. “How’s your spiritual growth?” What are you doing today to be spiritually different than you were yesterday? 

The writer of Hebrews challenges us to “leave the elementary teaching about Christ and go on to maturity”  (Hebrews 6:1). Preceding these words, the writer chides believers about their lack of spiritual growth with these rather harsh words: “We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, by this time you ought to be teachers; you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk not solid food. Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil”  (Hebrews 5: 11- 14).

As I reflected on these comments, I wondered if we were to measure our spiritual growth beginning with our conversion, what would our spiritual growth chart reveal about our growth and development? Would we see a spiritual flatten line, or would we see upward growth, and if so, would it be minimal or dramatic? How much have we grown during the last few years of our spiritual life? Has our growth leveled off or are we still seeing a pattern of consistent spiritual growth? Only you and I can answer that question, but my hope is that each of us can say we are moving forward, and that our spiritual growth has not been stunted or arrested.

Believers' lives should be marked by forward progress. We should be accepting new challenges that  stretch our faith, rather than resting and reclining in some spiritual armchair. Our prayer life should be more effective, our study of the word should be more diligent, and our service of others should be more noticeable.

The believer will never make progress by looking back at where he has been, but he must be constantly looking forward to the goal of what he is to become, a mature saint who is daily being formed and fashioned into the likeness of his Savior.

The emu is an interesting bird. It is native to Australia. In fact, it is portrayed with the kangaroo on the Australian coat of arms. It is a large bird that cannot fly. Both the kangaroo and the emu were chosen to appear on the Australian coat of arms because of one common characteristic- neither can move backwards. If an emu, with its big three toed feet, tries to go backward, it will fall over. And the kangaroo is kept from going backwards by its long tail. As a result, they can only go forward, thus portraying the spirit of Australia.

Juan Carlos Ortiz, whose writing has significantly impacted my understanding of discipleship, shares the following story in his book Disciple. He tells of a university student who was saved in his church. The student related how he took off spiritually like a rocket. He said, “The first six months I was learning continually in the church. After six months I found out that I had got to the point that I knew everything that everyone else knew. I knew about the great tribulation, the new birth, the Trinity, but from then on I was only maintained.”

How sad it must be for Jesus to see his followers’ content with just being maintained. As Christians we are under construction. I want to be like the seasoned saint I knew who signed her letters, “Yours aged 83 and still growing.”

What would you like engraved on your tombstone? How about, “He finally ran out of breath.” I hope that when I die, it will be said of me, "Tom was still running, still growing, still learning, still serving, still moving forward like the Emu and the Kangaroo, for who in his right mind would want only to be maintained?

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. "Sanctification is like riding a bicycle, either you keep moving forward or you fall down."

 

Leadership Thought: Living on the Other Side of Yes.

Dear Friends,

Did you ever read or hear something that you didn’t quite understand, but inwardly you knew there was something of value if you could only distill the thoughts of the writer or speaker? That happened to me yesterday as I listened to a John Maxwell podcast on how to deal with problems. This morning I re read the extensive notes I had taken, but I knew  I needed to listen to the message again, and in so doing  I was able to unpack some of the  valuable insights I initially missed.

I want to share a few of the takeaways I received as I re listened and re learned some of those truths John shared as he talked about how leaders deal with problems.

Leaders must expect to see problems and get excited when they come for on the other side of the problem there is almost always a solution and in many cases more than one solution.

Scott Peck in his famous book The Road Less Traveled writes life is difficult and once we transcend this truth,  life becomes no longer difficult. When we learn to expect problems, we are not surprised when they come and we can even welcome them knowing that they present us with learning opportunities. There are amazing discoveries to be found on the other side of those problems.

Choosing to be a leader means you  choose to live with lots of adversity. Adversity comes with the territory. Everything worthwhile is uphill and to accomplish great things, you must be willing to persevere through the things that many people choose to avoid.

In discussing problems, he shares the following acronym for the word Problems.

P stands for predictor, for the way we handle problems will be a great predictor of our future success or failure.

R stands for reminder, a reminder that no matter what we do, life is difficult and filled with problems, so don’t be surprised by them-just expect them.

O stands for opportunities. Within every problem there lies an opportunity in disguise. Too often we never see the opportunity because we focus only on the problem while missing the hidden opportunity.

B is for blessing. Often there is a hidden blessing in every problem, but we will never  find that blessing unless and until we look beyond the problem.

L is for learning.  Once we look beyond the problem there is a lesson to be learned. It is true that one often learns more from one's  failures than from all one's successes.  If I am teachable and persevere through the problems, I will learn valuable lessons.

E is for everywhere, for problems are everywhere and everyone faces them. Don’t ever feel sorry for yourself. Everyone has problems in life. No one is exempt.

M is for messages. Problems are messages which come to us to reveal what we are doing well and not doing well.

S is for solvable. All problems are solvable, but only  if we don’t give up too soon.  The successful person expects to find problems  in life, but he or she knows that if you look long and hard enough you will find an answer to almost every problem

We need to always “live on the other side of yes.” We need to discover that there is almost always going to be an answer to every problem that confronts you.

And if you are looking for a biblical proof text to all of the above you might turn to the Apostle Paul who reminds us that ‘we’ “can do all things through Christ who strengthens us" (Philippians 4:13).

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Thankful or Thoughtless: How Will You Be Remembered?

Dear Friends,

Yesterday’s message by Pastor Jared reminded me of the importance of expressing thanks. Saying thanks to God and to others is such an easy thing to do, and yet how often we neglect opportunities to express it.

Too often we are like the little boy who went to a birthday party. When he came home, his mother asked him if he remembered to thank Mrs. Johnson for the party?  He answered, “I was standing in line when the boy in front of me thanked her, and she said, “Don't mention it,” so I didn't mention it.”

This little episode reminded me of another incident that took place several years ago. It was told in the book A Window on the Mountain, by Winston Pearce. Pearce tells of his high school class reunion when a group of his old classmates were reminiscing about things and persons they were grateful for. One man mentioned that he was particularly thankful for Mrs. Wendt, for she had introduced him to Tennyson and the beauty of poetry. Acting on a suggestion, the man wrote a letter of appreciation to Mrs. Wendt, and he addressed it to the high school. The note was forwarded and eventually found the old teacher. About a month later the man received a response. It was written in a feeble longhand and read as follows: “My dear Willie, I can't tell you how much your letter meant to me. I am now in my nineties, living alone in a small room, cooking my own meals, lonely, and like the  last leaf of fall lingering behind. You will be interested to know that I taught school for 40 years, and your letter is the first letter of appreciation I have ever received. It came on a blue, cold morning and it cheered me as nothing has done for years. Willie, you have made my day.”

How sad to realize the extent of some people’s thanklessness. It reminds me of the 10 lepers described in Luke 17. They all received their cleansing, and yet only one of them returned to thank Jesus. “Were not all 10 cleansed,” Jesus asked. “Where are the other nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner” (Luke 17: 17- 18)?

As one commentator points out, “The story is not the story of the miracle of the 10 lepers cleansed, but rather the contrast of gratitude and ingratitude depicted on the same dramatic canvas.”

In a time when people are experiencing all kinds of anxiety over recent events, socially, racially, politically, and economically, the antidote is close at hand. The only way to rid ourselves of fear and anxiety is to submit, with thanks and praise, to God's plan for our lives in all things. At that moment we shall find the meaning of real freedom, real contentment, and real peace.

As the late doctor, Frances Schaefer expressed it, “A quiet disposition and a heart giving thanks at any given moment, is the real test of the extent to which we love God at that moment.”

“Be thankful,” or “give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus, ”writes Paul in 1^st Thessalonians 5: 18.  Is there someone you know who would love to hear you say, thanks for something they have done for you. If no one immediately comes to mind, let me remind you that there is 'Someone' who I know is waiting to hear those words of thanksgiving.

Don't be like the nine lepers who were healed and went on their way forgetting to thank the One who healed them, but instead be like that one foreigner who had a thankful heart and returned to express his gratitude for all that Jesus had done for him.

Today who will hear those words that Mrs. Wendt longed to hear?  

Yours in Thankfulness,

Tom

Leadership Thought: So, You Think You Are A Good Listener!

Dear Friends

This past year I read a book by John Maxwell called the Leaders Greatest Return. It was one of the most rewarding leadership books I have read in many years, and I would like to provide a few insights from his chapter on becoming better listeners.

“The average person suffers from 3 delusions: (1) that he is a good driver, (2) that he has a good sense of humor, and (3) and that he is a good listener. Most people, however, including many leaders, are terrible listeners; they actually think talking is more important than listening,” writes Steven Sample, author of The Contrarians Guide to Leadership.

“What most people want is to be listen to, respected, and understood, and if this happens, they will be more motivated to listen to you and see your point of view (p 54).

“Listening leads to understanding people. The biggest communication challenge is that most of the time we do not listen to understand. We listen to prepare our reply. Effective listening requires more than hearing the words transmitted. It demands that you find meaning and understanding in what is being said. After all, meanings are not in words, but in people.  (Listening) is more than hearing words. It demands you find meaning and understanding in what is being said … People are far more likely to listen to us if we first listened to them” (pp. 55-56).

Listening is the best way to learn. Television host Larry King says “I remind myself every morning that nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So, if I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening…When we fail to listen, we turn off much of our learning potential” (p.56) …”What others have to say to you is more important than what you have to say to them” (p. 57)

Listening engenders trust and connection. “Billy Graham said a suffering person does not need a lecture; he needs a listener…By listening you gain the trust of the people you work with” (p. 57). David Augsberger said, “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable… “Listening draws people to you, which works much better than trying to push your leadership on them” (p. 58).

“You will never get the best out of people if you do not know who they are, where they want to go, what they care about, how they think and how they want to contribute. You only learn these things by listening. When you listen to people. it makes them feel like they are at the very heart of things, like partners, and not employees. They trust you because you care about them” (p. 59).

And in conclusion I might personally add to what our brother James has to say in his charter text on listening. “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19). I know these words are so easy to say but yet so difficult to live, that is, unless we allow the Holy Spirit to take full control of our tongue.

Let our prayer be, “Lord Jesus, help me this day to open my heart to your Spirit and allow me to be more interested in hearing what others have to say than what I wish to say.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom