Leadership Thought: Get Going and Start Growing

Dear Friends,

The Apostle Peter reminds us that we are to "grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ". (2 Peter 3:18). "Like newborn babies, crave spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good" (1 Peter 2:2-3).   

Growth, like children, is not automatic for as Tennessee Ernie Ford used to say (I know this reference really dates me) "Too many people start out at the bottom and sort of like it there."  How sad that many of our lives are spiritually stunted, maybe we stopped growing many years ago, and sadly we are now learning that death begins where growth ends. 
I don't remember who said it, but many years ago I copied a quote I have never forgotten. The writer said, "When someone misses the opportunity for growth and improvement, he may feel regret. If he goes long enough without growing, he begins to feel he has had an unused life. And that is not unlike an early death". 

The late Bible commentary writer William Barclay reminds us that "We should count it a wasted day when we do not learn something new and when we have not penetrated more deeply into the wisdom and the grace of God."  
It is easy to be like the child who decided he would quit school. He said "I hate school; it is an awful place. All they do is ask a lot of questions. I can't write. I don't know how to read, and they won't let me talk. There is nothing to it, so I quit."  "But son," the dad said, "you are only in kindergarten."  

And there are many who are still in the kindergarten stage of their spiritual development. They haven't gone far enough for the fun. They are spirituality stunted, stagnant saints who have never learned that death begins where growth ends. 

Only toadstools pop up overnight. Growth takes time, it takes effort, and it takes a steadfast commitment to daily self-improvement. One of my favorite writers was the legendary basketball coach John Wooden who said, "It is what you learn after you know it all that counts." 
So, my encouragement to all of us, me included, is to ask ourselves, are we growing and if not, why not? 

Today can be the start of a new commitment to spiritual growth, and a good place to begin is at Genesis 1:1 and a wonderful place to end is Revelation 22:21. 

I promise if you read everything in between you will be a different person, maybe becoming a spiritual giant in comparison with what you were a few years ago. 

Let me encourage you to join a Bible study or a small group or a Sunday school class. Look for a place to serve, commit to worshipping weekly, giving generously, and serving passionately.  Make a difference in someone else's life, and you will make a difference in yours as well. 

I end with the words of a senior saint who ends his correspondence, with these closing words: "Yours at 83 and still growing." 

May each of us capture his spirit.

Yours in faith and friendship,
Pastor Tom

Adapted from a previous Leadership Thought

Leadership Thought: You Can't Have Too Many Friends

Dear Friends,

My phone went ding. I looked down and saw a text from one of my daughter's friends who has just texted me: "I  just want you to know I will be bringing over dinner and dessert tonight." 

My daughter Rachel and her family with whom I live, are away in Vermont, and my friend knew it and wanted to be sure I was cared for. 

Then another friend's mom, who makes the best chicken soup, called me to tell me she had just left some cookies and a quart of chicken soup on our doorstep.

It's not that I can't or don't like to cook. I have always had a love for cooking, but with no longer anyone to cook for, I don't spend a lot of time at the stove, so I am always grateful when friends like this stop by to bless me with their culinary gifts.

Over the years I have been blessed to cultivate many wonderful friendships.

Every Wednesday morning for a number of years, I enjoy breakfast at seven o'clock with a couple of good friends I met many years ago.

I love being with friends. Whether going out to breakfast with church friends or socializing with high school or college friends at our summer cottage, I am always on the lookout for opportunities to be with friends.

There is no greater gift than the gift of friendship, and I am  blessed by the wealth of friends I have  made over the years. One can never possess too many friends.

Going through the loss of a loved one has been difficult, but having friends who call, write, visit, and share their gifts with me has made dealing with loss so much easier. 

I love the story about General William Westmoreland who was in Vietnam. He was reviewing a platoon of paratroopers. As he walked down the line, he asked each of them a question: "How do you like jumping, son?"

"Love it, sir!" was the first paratrooper's answer.

"The greatest experience in my life, sir," exclaimed the next paratrooper.

But when he came to the third one, the soldier's respond surprised him. 

"I hate it, sir," the young man replied.                                                                                         

"Then why do you do it?" asked Westmoreland.

"Because I want to be around the guys who love to jump." 

Solomon wrote, "Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family" (Proverbs 18:24, Message Bible).

There are friends and then there are 'real’ friends, the fox hole kind. They are the ones who show up on your doorstep at just the right time.  They are the kind of friends who 'stick as close as a brother.'

C.S. Lewis writes "Friendship is born at the moment one person says to another, "What, you  too?" I thought I was the only one."

How refreshing it is to find that kind of friend when you are in need, when no one knows or cares or understands what you are going through.

When you discover that kind of friend, you have found a rare treasure.

John Maxwell writes, "A true friend is someone who sees you at your worst, but never forgets your best.  is someone who thinks you are a little bit more wonderful than you really are. is someone you can talk with for hours or be with in complete silence. is as happy for your success as you are.  A real friend trusts you to say what he really means when talking to you, doesn't try to know more, act smarter, or be your constant teacher."

My mother always used to remind me that the way to have friends is to be a friend, and throughout my life I have tried to follow her advice. 

Her advice has worked, and I am so glad it has.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: WGIBTU Is a Phrase I Don't Ever Want to Forget

Dear Friends,

"Jim Harbaugh, coach of the national champion Michigan Wolverines football team, is famous for, among other things, motivating his players with an old family motto, 'Who’s got it better than us?'" 

“'Who’s got it better than us?'  is a phrase that works on multiple levels, and just as it helped a football team push through the highs and lows of a long season to achieve their ultimate goal, so, too, it is a perfect mantra to keep in mind when leading others through challenging situations."  

"The 'Who’s got it better than us?' catchphrase was one that the Harbaugh brothers (Jim and John) heard repeated regularly by their dad, Jack, who was also a former college football coach."

"Its roots are to remind us to always be grateful, a message they have subsequently tried to instill into their players."

"Jim explained that there was a car dealer in Ann Arbor that had a program where the coaches at Michigan got to drive the extra dealer cars." 

"'We didn’t have much money, and we didn’t have a car of our own, so my parents shared the dealer car. Sometimes my dad, brother and I would walk outside and the car would be in the driveway. Other times, if my mom was out, it wasn’t.'"

“‘Hey Dad, where’s the car?’“

"’No car today, guys. We’re walking … Grab a basketball: 100 with the right, 100 with the left. Let’s go!’

“'So we’d dribble down the sidewalk, dad leading the way, yelling: ‘Who’s got it better than us?!’"

“‘Me and my brother would be trailing behind, chanting: ‘No-body!'”

"It was used by the family in good times, like sitting around the table at Thanksgiving or after winning a big game, but it was also employed with equal vigor in demanding or disappointing times when things weren’t going as expected."

The apostle James reminds us to "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4)

"The Harbaugh family’s motto incorporates the sense of using adversity as a teaching moment while also moving beyond that to add an extra layer of positivity and gratitude," as well as some much needed humor, I would add. 

"The phrase 'Who’s got it better than us?' can be used in both upbeat and downbeat scenarios, when times are going great and when circumstances are pushing us to our breaking point."  

It begins with a foundation of gratitude, an invocation of blessings received and acknowledged and not merely taken for granted."  

"This is a valuable discipline for all ministry teams and individuals to keep in mind when facing challenging situations. it’s a discipline captured in the Scriptures in passages such as Psalm 138:

           I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart;
           before the 'gods' I will sing your praise.
           I will bow down toward your holy temple
           and will praise your name
           for your unfailing love and your faithfulness.

           When I called, you answered me;
           you greatly emboldened me. (v. 1-3)

"'Who's got it better than us'" is a wonderful  tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement of the idea that adversity is opportunity at work."  

"Given the “blessing” of having to proceed by foot-power to a destination, one not only has a chance to enjoy the weather and the company, a person also has a perfect opportunity to perfect the skill of dribbling. 

"The 'WGIBTU' motto doesn’t position the family or team to be any better than anyone else, just as blessed as any and all.  It implies that hard work and attitude make the difference in leveraging those blessings.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

I am indebted to Eddie Pipken who shared this message on the internet. I have quoted his words while only slightly adapting his message for today's Leadership Thought.

Leadership Thought: What I Learned from Pastor Bruce Seymour about How I Can Be a Fisher of Men.

Dear Friend,

Yesterday I spent the afternoon packing my books and going through some file cabinets as I prepare to move my ministry resources to my home.

In going through those files, I found a large number of interesting folders on different subjects, all filed and left by Dr. Bruce Seymour who once pastored New Monmouth Church in the early 2000's.

Bruce is unfortunately suffering from Parkinson's Disease, and I feel a closeness to him for this is the tragic disease that took my wife's life last year.

The other day I called Dr. Seymour, and I told him how impressed I was with some of the material he had left behind in his filing cabinet. There were wonderful training materials on spiritual gifts, mentoring, discipleship, but the one file that most attracted my attention was the folder labeled "Class 401," a class on evangelism which contained some wonderful teaching material.

Since I consider sharing my faith to be the most important aspect of any pastor's ministry, I took a moment to sit down and go through his "Class 401 folder on evangelism.

I share this teaching as a tribute to Dr. Seymour for his incredible vision and leadership which was largely responsible for turning a dream into a beautiful gym which we now call  our Family Ministry Center  which after Covid is  where we now worship and do ministry outreach. 

I would like to share part of the message on doing evangelism that  I found in his file cabinet.

In using the analogy of a fisherman looking to catch fish, he shared several tips for those seeking to win souls for Christ.

Dr. Bruce writes: "When we are witnessing, we need to remember to be very aware of our motives. Why do we want to bring people to Jesus? Here is where my fishing analogy breaks down a bit. Usually, the fishermen are not thinking much about what is good for the fish, but as fishers of men, we should be thinking about what is good for them." 

"What made Jesus so attractive to people was his love. People could tell he really cared for them, and that he loved them. We need to be like Jesus. Bringing people to Jesus begins by caring for them, really liking them. We need to enter into a relationship with them just for the joy of the relationship, not for what we will get from the relationship later on."

"We must earn the right to be heard by listening to them. When the time comes to witness, the method is not so important. They should know us well enough to sense our sincerity. They will know we are thinking about them like a fisherman thins about the fish he desires to catch."

"But then, secondly, he suggests that we give the fish respect. We must realize that it is up to the fish to decide if he wants to respond. It's up to the fish to decide. You cannot make the fish jump into the boat. All you can do is make the offer as clear and as attractive as possible."

"You have to let the fish decide. It is exactly that way with people. Our job is to witness and tell them what is true in our personal experience. It is the Holy Spirit's job to save them. Jesus told us that in explaining why the Holy Spirit would do." 

He said: "When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment." (John 16:8) 

"Later, the apostle Paul put it this way, 'I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, But God made it grow.'" (1 Corinthians 3:6). 

"Paul witnessed, Apollos did more witnessing, but God gave life. God made it grow. We have to respect that process which means we have to give the unsaved person the same respect God does. God allowed them to decide. and we should show them the same respect."

"The third tip is to let God do the work. Jesus said he would make us fishers of men. come. In Matthew 4:19 Jesus says, "Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men."

"Notice the sequence. we are reminded to follow Jesus, and then he will make no species of men during the process of personal invitation to follow Jesus. in other words, the first person We need to bring is ourselves Jesus said, first, "Come, follow me." 

"When we accept that invitation, then God goes to work. God does the work. We come- He makes.  I cannot tell you how freeing that was when I noticed that."

"I stopped feeling guilty that I was not much of an evangelist and realized  God must not be finished with me yet. Making me into a fisher of man is his work. I cannot hurry that, but I can hinder it. One of the sad realities of life is that we can quench the spirit, and we can delay what he is trying to do in our lives. I'm afraid that is exactly what many of us do in the area of evangelism. 

"Jesus is trying to make us into fishers of men, and we are reluctant, resistant, and refusing. We will not go. We will not witness. We will not prepare for the opportunity. We will not even think about it. I do not know why."

"If you sense some of that resistance in your own heart, may I encourage you to do a simple, but difficult thing? Let God do his work. In the quietness of this moment, just say to God, 'I am sorry I have resisted you in this area. I want to be what you want me to be. Please do your work. Make me into a fisher of men." 

That good stuff from the files of our brother in the faith and pastor, Dr. Bruce Seymour.

Thanks, Bruce, for encouraging me and others to become what Jesus calls us to be. 

So, let's decide to stop correcting and start connecting with people. Let's stop cleaning those fish and start catching those fish. So, we might truly become fishers of men.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. "At the end of the day, the biggest obstacle to evangelism is Christians who don't share the gospel." Albert Mohler

Leadership Thought: The Danger of Jumping to Hasty Conclusions

Dear Friends,

We need to be very careful about jumping to conclusions before we know all of the facts. I am reminded of the danger of doing just that by the following little story. 

A lady invited several friends to a mushroom steak dinner. When her maid opened a can of mushrooms, she discovered a slight scum on the top. 

Since the guests were expected momentarily, the lady of the house suggested, "Give the dog a little, and if he eats it, it's probably all right." 

The dog liked it, eagerly begging for more, so the dinner was quickly completed. 

After the main course, the maid came in to serve the dessert, but her face was ashen white. She whispered into her employer's ear, "Ma'am, the dog's dead. There's only one thing to do. We need to call a doctor immediately," and the lady did just that. 

Sometime later, after the doctor had left, and the guests were reclining in various stages of recovery from the use of the stomach pump, the lady called the maid and asked, "Where's the poor dog now?"

Quickly came the answer, "Out on the front steps, ma'am, where he fell after the car hit him."

We have all been guilty at one time or another of drawing a hasty conclusion before we knew all of the facts. 

We looked at a situation, made a judgment, and jumped to a hasty conclusion, only to discover to our l embarrassment that because we didn't have all the facts, we arrived at a faulty conclusion. 

The three Jewish tribes, (Ruben, Gad, and the half tribe of Manasseh) wanted to live east of the Jordan River on land they had already conquered. 

Moses immediately assumed they had selfish motives and were trying to avoid helping the others fight for the land they had conquered across the river. 

But Moses was wrong, and he jumped to a wrong conclusion because he didn't realize the underlying motivation for the tribes desire to live on the east side of the Jordan had nothing to do with an unwillingness to join the rest of the tribes to preserve the conquered land on the other side of the river. 

When dealing with people, it is important to know all of the facts before we draw a hasty conclusion- the kind that leaves egg on our face. 

Don't do as Moses did, who avoided taking the time to learn all the facts before he made up his mind.

Be careful not to automatically assume that someone's motives are wrong, even when their plans sound suspicious. Always seek all of the information before you draw your conclusion, for in doing so, you will save yourself a lot of embarrassment.

A few years ago, gifts to the prairie Bible Institute of Alberta, Canada, declined from a certain geographical area. At that time, the school's president, Dr. Maxwell, had undergone two operations for cataracts, one on each eye.

When a representative of the school was visiting that particular area, he was approached by a donor asking, "Why was Dr. Maxwell  riding around in two 'cadillacs?' 

Jumping to conclusions had changed 'cataracts' to 'cadillacs' and caused people to withhold their gifts." You Don't Have to Go It Alone, Leslie B. Flynn, p.126

As someone once said, "a person can save himself from many hard falls by refraining from jumping to conclusions." That's good advice that we all need to follow each and every day of our lives.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. "Some people take no mental exercise apart from jumping to conclusions." Harold Acton

Leadership Thought: Will We Stand Before Jesus Empty Handed?

Dear Friends,

This past week I attended the funeral of a dear saint whom I knew from a previous church I served. 

The large church was packed.  Every aspect of the service was a tribute to Caroline Ivashenko who gossiped the gospel wherever her feet would take her. 

Every one of the seven family and friends who spoke of her told inspiring stories of how she always put others first, and how she took every opportunity to boldly share her faith with whomever she was with.

Paul writes,  "I am not ashamed of the gospel for it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and then to the Gentile." (Romans 1:16.)  Caroline, who lived out the words of Paul's testimony, was never ashamed to speak about her Savior.

Only God knows how many people are already in or are headed to heaven because of her witness, but I know there will be many more than just a handful.

I love the little poem I learned years ago, which is so convicting.

   "When you enter the beautiful city. and the saved all around you appear,

    What joy when someone will tell you, it was you who invited me here."

When I stand before the Lord will I be excited or embarrassed? Will the Lord be pleased with those who are in heaven because of my witness, or will I be ashamed before Him as I stand empty handed because I brought no one with me.

Unlike Paul, today many in the church have lost their passion for sharing Christ and bringing others to Him.

Paul had no turf of his own nor did he erect any fences that would limit the places he would go to share his faith. He was just as comfortable speaking about Christ to the religious Jew as he was to  the heathen unbeliever. He became all things to all people with the hope that he might win as many as possible to the Savior.

He knew that God loves all people, and the 'all' includes all the people whom we don't like or with whom we don't associate.

We may feel like Jonah and want God to punish them and give them what they truly deserve. We may ask, "Why God would you have me love these people?"

We  forget that God not only loved everybody, but that He individualized His love to include the 'somebodies, those who live next door, who work in our office, who play on our team, or who are a part of our own family and  who may be the hardest for us to love.

God loved the somebodies all around us, and He wants for us to do the same. 

Sometimes it seems as if the church has forgotten the reason we are planted here on earth. We are to be the salt and light that attracts the unbelieving world to the One we love and serve. We are here for a mission: to get the bride ready for Christ's return.

Maybe the pastor was right when he suggested that believers shouldn't be allowed to go to church until they bring with them 25 saved friends.

Jesus didn't pick and choose those to whom He would minister. He cared for everyone and so should we. 

We don't begin to recognize the depth of our faith until we are forced out of our cultural comfort zone, and we find ourselves hanging out with those who think and act and believe so differently from us.

Fellowship in the church is a wonderful thing. We love being with our brothers and sisters in the family of faith.  We love going to Bible studies together and sitting in church singing and praying and enjoying fellowship with one another, but, as good as that may feel, we must not forget to whom we are called to go to the lost, the least, the lonely and the left out.

Our calling is to be in search of lost sheep. Our purpose is to build relationships with those who don't know Jesus. We are to be like the Prodigal's father standing on the front porch scanning the horizon as he looks and prays for the day, he will see his lost and beloved son walking up the road and finally coming home. 

Believers we are called to go to the places where we are not comfortable, to the people who hate and despise us and who want nothing to do with our Jesus. Will we go?

Reaching them may mean trying to understand their point of view without judging them. It may mean listening to them, hearing their heart and looking for opportunities to serve them. It may mean we become more interested in connecting with them than correcting them.

Too often we have tried to clean the fish before we catch them. The church is filled with a lot of fish cleaners who haven't caught any fish for too long a time.

Caroline was gifted at reaching out to the unbelievers. Whether at the train station, the grocery store, the cancer infusion center, or over a cup of coffee at her dining room table. She was always on the lookout for those lost souls who needed to know the love of her Savior. 

I pray that all of us would catch her spirit and her love for sharing her faith, so that one day we too might  gladly hear those beautiful welcoming words from someone already in heaven: "It was you who invited me here."

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: More Thoughts on Mistake Free Living or Why Doesn't Chirpy Sing Much Anymore?

Dear Friends,

Thanks for your overwhelming response to last week's article on "Making Mistakes.” I don't remember when I received as much reaction to any message I have shared as I did for that one. There must be a lot of 'mistake makers' among you and I wanted you to know I appreciated your unsolicited comments.

I want to thank you for coming to my defense. I felt like some of you were defending me because I had been criticized for 'mistake making' which would be untrue. I was simply recognizing and acknowledging that I am often guilty of not always self-correcting my grammatical and spelling flaws. 

I loved some of your comments, and I have taken the liberty of sharing a few of them.

"No need to apologize for typing errors. It happens to all of us. At this point, I am actually looking forward to seeing them. We love your leadership thoughts."

"Please keep doing 'what's important now' (WIN), all the mistakes included."

"The point is mistakes are a part of our existence. The fact is with or without the mistakes, you get the point across and share your valuable time with your readers. if we didn't make mistakes, there would be no erasers on pencils."

"Perfection is the enemy of done-substance over style."

"You just keep on making your mistakes, because I enjoy reading your messages each day, and I even look forward to seeing those mistakes. I rarely type something without several mistakes."

"We need to be more concerned about connecting with others than correcting others."

And my favorite, "You probably have no idea how encouraging your message is today. I am still recovering from a stroke in October - which has magnified my lack of perfection in most areas. Tempting to quit- your words and those of Coach Wooden's will push me to persevere and 'get back on the floor."

I enjoyed these comments and the others I received.

Maintaining relationships is critical to me, and whatever your comments-positive or negative- I appreciate hearing from you and knowing that we are still connected.

I often tell those who take the time to share their responses, "You keep reading and I'll keep writing."

I close with some of my favorite quotes and stories about mistakes.

"Don't mention a person's past mistakes when they are trying to change. That's like throwing rocks at them while they're struggling to climb a mountain." Anonymous

"Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes." Oscar Wilde,

"You make mistakes. Mistakes don't make you." Maxwell Maltz.

"When someone does something wrong, don't forget all the things they did right." Anonymous

"When you make a mistake, there are only three things you should ever do about it: admit it, learn from it, and don't repeat it." Paul Bear Bryant

"Mistakes are always forgivable if one has the courage to admit them." Bruce Lee

And my all-time favorite story told by Max Lucado and taken from The Take of The Tidy Oxcart by Chuck Swindoll.

A newspaper in San Diego told the story of a woman who had a little canary whom she affectionately named  Chirpy. This little bird brought all kinds of song and beauty into their home. 

One day while vacuuming, she thought, "My, the bottom of Chirpy's cage is dirty. I'll  just vacuum the bottom of the cage." 

While she was vacuuming the phone rang, and when she reached over for the phone, she lifted up the vacuum cleaner and it sucked Chirpy all the way down the tube, down to the little bag.  

Of course, she opened the vacuum cleaner and cut the bag open. And there was Chirpy inside trying to survive. 

She breathed a sigh of relief. But she thought, "Oh, he's so dirty." So, she put him under that faucet and ran water all over him. And then when she finished with him under the faucet, where he was about to drown, she dried him with a blow dryer. 

A newspaper reporter asked, "Well, what's he like now?"  

She replied, “Well, Chirpy doesn't sing much anymore." 

I hope this story brings you a laugh as it does for me every time I share it. 

So, to all you Chirpy's out there who feel like you've been through the ringer, 'or the vacuum tube.' I hope you'll never stop singing like Chirpy, and that at least today will be one that is Mistake Free.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Why So Many Mistakes in My Leadership Thoughts?

Dear Friends,

If you have been receiving Leadership Thoughts for any period of time you probably have noticed that I often make a lot of mistakes in producing them. I assure you they are not intentional, but the frequency of those mistakes might suggest otherwise.

I still cringe whenever I reread one of my Leadership Thoughts when after clicking the send button, I discover some glaring errors-misspelled  words,  words left out, confusing sentences, poor grammar, unintended notes attached to the bottom of the message. You name the errors and I've 'accomplished' them.

You would think by now that after sending them out for these many years, I would finally produce a mistake free copy, but it seldom happens.

I could use the excuse that I'm generally in a hurry to send them out in a timely fashion each morning and that would be partly true. But the major reason is I have never been known for being exceptionally careful and precise, and if the truth be told, I would have to admit that at times I can be just plain sloppy. I am working on my weaknesses, however, and I am trying to improve, even though it  might not always be evident.

Having said  this, I try not to ever let my fear of making mistakes limit me from writing. Making mistakes is a part of the learning and improvement process, and as long as I don't keep making the same mistakes again and again, I know I will become a better writer.

In his book "Atomic Habits," author James Clear tells a story about Jerry Uelsmann, a well-known photographer who was a professor at the University of Florida, 

One semester. Uelsmann decided to try something. On the first day of the semester, he divided the class into two groups.  

The group sitting on the left of the classroom would be graded on how many photos they took. If they took 100, they would get an A, 90 would result in a B, and on and on. He called this group the "Quantity" group.

Meanwhile, the other half of the class was designated as the. "Quality" group. They only had to produce one photo all semester. But they were told that it would need to be nearly perfect in order to receive an A.

The results surprised us.

All of the best photos were turned in by the quantity group.

Why? because they weren't afraid to make mistakes. They experimented with different ways of taking photos and let their creativity show.

That was in marked contrast to the "Quality" group, who discussed what perfection might be like and were afraid to try different things because they were being judged on just one photo.

It goes back to whether we have a "Fixed" or "Growth" mindset. Are we afraid of making mistakes or are we so busy trying new things and learning that we don't worry about whether we do something wrong- we just learn from it and get better as a result. 

Don't let your desire to be perfect stand in the way of your growth and development. Don't be afraid to experiment with new ways of doing things. You might be pleasantly surprised at the results." Steve Gilbert, "Win Your Day, One photo versus One Hundred100 photos."

Legendary basketball coach John Wooden  wrote, "Never be afraid to make a mistake."

Coach Wooden used to be bothered if his players didn't make enough mistakes in practice.

"I wanted my players to be active, I wanted them doing things and initiating. I didn't want them worrying about mistakes. Mistakes made while expanding boundaries are what I wanted. If we weren't making mistakes, we weren't far enough out on the edge. If we weren't pushing against the walls of our capabilities, we weren't practicing properly. The time to cut down on turnovers is during games, not during practice."

Wooden concludes, "The individual who is mistake- free, is also probably sitting around doing nothing. And that's a very big mistake."

There are times I would like a 'do over' when it comes to producing my daily Leadership Thought, but I now know better. The more mistakes I make, and the more I learn from those mistakes, the more the quality of my messages will improve. 

I am still waiting for that to happen. Quite possibly it hasn't happened yet because I still haven't made enough mistakes, so whenever you see some glaring errors in my message, just take a chill and realize I am still working on reaching my mistake quota.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: What I Observed Last Night About Life and Athletics at a Rumson Fair Haven Red Bank Catholic Wrestling Match

Dear Friends,

Most all of my life I have been involved in athletics. From high school through college, I  played three sports. My first job after graduating from theological seminary was coaching high school football and basketball. and over the years I have coached at all levels: Pop Warner, Middle School, Junior Varsity and High School. 

My father-in-law was my high school coach and athletic director, and I spent eight years as an athletic director at Calvary Chapel Christian Academy, which today has become the largest and one of the most successful Christian schools in the country. 

I love being around sports. I've umpired high school basketball, field hockey and spent the last 30 plus years of my life umpiring high school baseball.

I've seen the best and the worst in sports and everything in between.

I might be what's called an athletic junkie. I love going to high school athletic events, and last night I watched a high school wrestling match between two exceptional wrestling teams, Rumson Fair Haven and Red Bank Catholic. 

I was rooting for Rumson Fair Haven as all my children went to school there,  and because many years ago I helped develop the Rumson Fair Haven Junior Bulldog program, I was eager to see how far they had come.

I love being in the stands watching fans cheer their teams. I enjoy the excitement and enthusiasm of the spectators and players alike, but most of all I love watching the coaches to see how they interact with their players and the officials.

When I was the athletic director at Calvary Christian Academy, we implemented a very strict athletic policy that held coaches to exceptionally high standards of conduct. 

The first sentence of our athletic policy handbook read: "Coaches will exhort all athletes to be accountable for their actions and will take every opportunity to emphasize the spiritual growth of their players at all times."

The policy went on to say: "Coaches will be alert to game and practice situations which provide opportunities for character development and the demonstration of Christian attributes."

If you were a coach and did not adhere to this athletic policy. you no longer coached. Coaches were expected to be strong Christian examples for their players.

The philosophy has been maintained long after I left the school, and the school has continued to enjoy athletic success at every level.

They have won Florida state championships in baseball, track and field, and basketball (twice) and last season their basketball team was the number one ranked high school basketball team in the country in both public and private school classifications.

I'm happy to say that athletic success and character development still go hand and hand at Calvary.

Athletics provides a wonderful opportunity to instill Christian values. Today's  coaches often have a greater impact in shaping young lives than anyone else, including pastors and even parents.

Last night I witnessed athletics at its best as two of the top wrestling teams in the area competed.  The match came down to the final two bouts which Rumson won in exciting fashion giving them the victory. 

I often hang around after athletic contests, as I love to mingle with the fans and watch the interactions of players, parents, and particularly coaches.

I did not know Joe Gallager, the losing Red Bank Catholic wrestling coach, but I was immediately intrigued as I watched the way he lovingly interacted with  each of his wrestlers and their parents. For ten minutes I stood there silently witnessing his interactions as one by one he spoke words of encouragement to every one of his wrestlers, and  to even  some of their parents. I watched as he put his arms around those wrestlers and hugged each and every one of them, and as I watched him in action, I thought to myself that this is the kind of coach I would love to play for.

From what I saw last night, I suspect Coach Gallager is the kind of coach who shouts praise and whispers criticism.

I imagine he is the kind of coach that knows what's going on with his players and helps them become  the best version of themselves they can become.

I am sure he discusses the impact of education on their futures and learns each of their personalities. 

He probably relates well to his players and knows their interests and discusses the why's behind his decisions. 

I suspect he shows his players that he cares about them, not only on the wrestling mat but in the classroom as well. 

I assume he is concerned about them not just being successful in athletic endeavors, but he wants them to learn how to be  good people. 

I am confident that he tells them and shows them he believes in them, and he teaches them how to work together as a team.

And above all, I can only hope he shares his faith with them as I was privileged to do throughout my years of coaching, for the true measure of  coaching success is never determined by a coach's  wins and losses but by the players' character and the depth of the faith that is fashioned in their lives as a result of his relationship with each of them.

Every coach stands on the threshold of something far greater than athletic success and achievement, That coach stands in the doorway that opens to eternal truth and everlasting life, and those who walk through that doorway will be forever grateful for that their coach has taught  them more than just the x's and o's of their particular sport, but has teaches them how to value life, and themselves, and others, and  most importantly Jesus, who teaches us the supreme lessons of life: how to love and serve others.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. For some of the coaching insights above, I am indebted to Ryan Tyrrell who has written an article "Be Positive-10 Ways to Have a Positive Impact on Athletes as a Coach."

Leadership Thought : A Bent Nail, a Knot of Wood, and a Celebration of My Wife's Birthday

Dear Friends,

A friend handed it to me at a recent men's breakfast. It was a simple gift-a knot of wood with a bent nail protruding from its center. 

I looked at it quizzically, and then my friend asked, "Don't you remember the story?"

And then it suddenly dawned on me. A week earlier he had responded to one of my Leadership Thoughts with the following story.

It was the story once passed on to him of the "Nail Straightener."

Construction workers were putting up a new building in a poor area, and a very old member of the town wanted to help in the construction. 

The builders gave him a place to sit, a rock and a hammer, and if a nail got bent by a worker, they would send it to his workstation.

Because nails were too expensive to throw away, the man would straighten the nails, and they then would be brought back to the builders to be used again. 

The man felt valued in playing a small part in the building's construction.

My friend said to me, "I am always looking for small things to do in the church. It may not be much, but it's one less thing that someone else has to do."

He told me, "Whenever I get a thank you for doing something small, I always take the opportunity to tell them this story, for it is a wonderful reminder of how significant little things can mean to the recipient." 

Today I am staring at his little non-descript gift of  wood containing a simple bent nail, and I am reminded of the fact that little things do mean a lot.

And later on that morning, after the breakfast was complete, I witnessed my gift giving friend going around collecting the dirty plates from the table, a small and menial act of service, but not small in the eyes of this friend and certainly not small in the eyes of our Creator.

I treasure this little gift from my friend, and as I lay awake last night wondering what I would write about this morning, my mind recalled a 'sacred' dinner I had just enjoyed.

You see yesterday was a hard day for those of us in the Crenshaw family who are still grieving the loss of my wife and our mother. 

It was Jean's birthday, and birthdays and anniversaries have a way of accentuating the pain experienced in one's grief journey.

To remember and celebrate Jean's birthday, two of my daughters had planned a take home dinner from the Olive Garden, one of Jean's favorite family places to eat. 

There were white daisies on the table, Jean's favorite flower. There was Stewart's root beer and lemonade on hand, two of Jean's favorite choices of refreshment. There was an apple pie, her favorite dessert delivered by a family in-law. These were all small and simple but thoughtful and touching expressions of love for one whom we all miss so very much.

And then there were phone calls from neighbors in western Pa. where we served, texts and e-mails from friends in former churches in New Jersey and Fort Lauderdale, and a gift from our next-door neighbors.

All the above expressions of love were little things in themselves, but not little or insignificant to a family going through the painful  loss of our precious wife and mother.

My heart was filled with gratitude as I experienced these small but simple expressions of love that meant so much to me and my family.

Yes, little things do mean a lot.

Charles Simmons said it best: "True greatness consists in being great in little things."

I hope you and I will never forget the significance of that bent nail and knot of wood, and how important little expressions of love can be to the one who receives them.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: The Day I Lied and Got Caught and the Lesson I Learned

Dear Friends,

It has been said that ‘Things come apart so easily when they've been held together by lies or deceit.”

I learned that lesson early on in my ministry. I was teaching and coaching at a military prep school in Syracuse, N.Y. that was struggling financially. We were being taken over by another school and each member of our faculty was to be evaluated by a faculty member of from the takeover school, and that interview would determine if we would be retained when the schools merged. 

Each teacher's fate was to be decided by a 45-minute classroom evaluation by some unknown teacher from the takeover school, and as you might imagine our faculty members, some who had been teaching there for over 40 years, were none too happy. Morale at our school was at an all-time low as one by one each teacher went through a  forty-five-minute classroom evaluation and then learned their fate.

Each member of our faculty would then individually meet with Dr. Barder, the  new headmaster of the merged schools to learn whether they would be retained.

Many of my friends had  gone through the evaluation, and some had already been informed they would not be retained. I had been evaluated, and I was about to meet with Dr. Barder to determine my fate. Although I had no idea what my outcome would be, I was determined to take things into my own hands by trying to manipulate the process.

Before my meeting with the headmaster, I wrote a personal letter of resignation, and my plan was to place that letter in his  mailbox before I entered his office. If during the interview, I learned I was about to be dismissed, I would simply refer to my letter of resignation that I had just placed in his box and walk away with the satisfaction that I had resigned before I could be fired. However, if I discovered I was to be retained, my intention was to grab my letter from his mailbox on my way out of his office, and no one would ever know it had been written.

Unfortunately, my plan of deception backfired, for in the midst of my meeting, the headmaster’s secretary walked into the office and placed my letter of resignation in the hands. Dr. Barder quickly read my resignation letter, and with a sly smile on his face, he said: “Mr. Crenshaw, it looks like you have already decided that you no longer wish to be a part of our new faculty. Good luck. I wish you well. Have a great day.”

That was the quick end to an embarrassing conversation. 

I was stunned and left speechless. I had been caught red handed. My devious efforts to manipulate the process had backfired and done me in. I walked out of the headmaster’s office embarrassed and wondering how I could have ever done something so stupid, and yes, so sinful.

Although I never did discover whether I was to be dismissed or retained as a member of the new school faculty, I did learn a valuable lesson. I learned that as believers we “must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbors’ (Ephesians 4:25).

A lie is a statement of fact that is designed to deceive. All deceit is lying, and all lying is sin, and God hates sin.

Whenever we speak the truth, the Spirit of God is a work, but whenever we tell a lie or seek to deceive, Satan goes to work. 

Lying is a dangerous sin. The first sin of judgment in the early church was the sin of lying when Ananias and Sapphira lied to the church about their financial transactions, and those lies cost them their lives. (Acts 5).

So let us all be careful to put away all lying and deceit, remembering that falsehood is sin. It stifles unity; truth strengthens it.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. “Lies are like scars to the soul. They destroy you.”