Leadership Thought: Do You Have a Friend Who Calls You Buddy?

Dear Friends,

I have a friend with whom I served in ministry at Calvary Chapel, Old Bridge, who used to call me "bud," short for buddy. I like knowing I am his "buddy" and that my friend sees me as someone he can count on. No matter where you are or whatever obstacles you face, you need a "buddy" you can count on to help you through whatever challenges your face.

When a Navy Seal parachutes into hostile territory, there are three questions he must ask, "where am I, where is my enemy, and where is my buddy?” It is your buddy who can help you discover where you are, and it is your buddy who can help you identify your enemy and fight your way out. Without a buddy, you are in a heap of trouble. 

Seals know the critical importance of being a buddy and always being there for one another. And like Seals who are trained to recognize the critical value of "another," we too must recognize the value of having a buddy we can count on. The more buddies we have the better off our lives will be. 

The church is to be a place where "buddies" are found, and where such connections will ultimately serve as reinforcements for those times when things are just too tough for us to handle by ourselves.

Wherever I have pastored I have always tried to foster a buddy system on staff where each staff member is always there for each other, and where we function as family. My hope is that the same kind of buddy system exists within the church. We really do need a buddy or buddies in our lives, and what better place to find our buddy than in the church.  We need to be united with one another. The late saint Corrie Ten Boom was fond of saying, "A wall with loose bricks is not good. The bricks must be cemented together," and so what is true of a wall is true of church. We too must be cemented together in fellowship.

I recently received a note from Pat Killorin, a former high school friend who is now involved as a hospice volunteer. As such, he is always seeking to make new friends, "buddies" if you will, with those dealing with life threatening illnesses. He reminded me that “friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”

Do you have one of those special “buddies” for whom you are especially thankful, one who has helped lift you to your feet when you needed someone to help you fly. Why not drop them a “thanksgiving” note, or better yet pick up the phone and give them a call and thank them for being one of your buddies.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. Just a reminder, "A Friend loves at all times" (Proverbs 17:17).

Leadership Thought: The Gun Jams, the Rope Breaks, the Taxi's Lost, for God Has the Final Word.

Dear Friends,

I think most of us would agree that the past 10 months has been a challenging time for us. The Covid 19 pandemic and the bitter presidential election has caused a great deal of social upheaval as health concerns have isolated us and political differences have separated us, and racial issues have divided us.

But through it all we need to remind ourselves that God is still in control. He is still on the throne.

William Cowper wrote many hymns throughout his life, but one of his best-known hymns was titled “God Moves in a Mysterious Way.” What makes this hymn so intriguing is the circumstances behind its composition.

At the time he wrote this hymn, Cowper was overwhelmed by problems in his life. He was down so deep in the slough of despond that he couldn’t even see out. Finally, he decided that his problems were so great, there was nothing else that he could do but commit suicide. He got a gun and aimed it at his head, but the gun didn’t go off. He threw down the gun and got a rope and hanged himself from the chandelier-and the rope broke. He took some poison and got well! He decided the only thing to do would be to throw himself into the river. 

So, he went out and hailed a taxi-a horse and a carriage- and told the driver to take him to the Thames. Now, any taxi driver in London could find the Thames with his eyes closed. But it was a foggy, miserable day and the cab driver could not find the river! He went down this street and that street, but he couldn’t find the Thames. He spent over an hour and finally ended up in front of his hotel. So, he got out, went upstairs, and was pacing back and forth in his room when his eyes fell on a Bible. He opened it and read of the love of God who said that he would never leave us or forsake us. He said that He would wash away all of our sins, and that He would work all things together for our good. And William Cowper right there received Christ as his Savior, trusted in Him as his Lord, and he wrote these words, “God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform: He plants his footsteps in the sea, and rides upon the storm. Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take; The clouds ye so much dread, are big with mercy and shall break in blessings on our head.”

Cowper had come to know that even the future was in the hands of God, and that nothing could come to him that didn’t come through the filter of a Father’s love.

Yes, one may despair of the events surrounding us, be standing on the doorstep of depression, or worse yet, like Cowper, suicide, but be reminded that God is still on the throne, and He is still holding the world in His hands and still performing His will even in His “mysterious ways” that our finite our minds cannot conceive.

Hang in there brother or sister, for whatever issue you are facing, God is faithful and He will see you through.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

The above story of William Cowper was taken from a file card I had saved, and which had no attribution given.

Leadership Thought: For Those Who Hate Singing, Dancing and Lifting Your Hands in Church.

Dear Friends,

I love Sunday mornings. It is a chance to come together and sing, and worship, and pray, and fellowship with other believers. And this Sunday was particularly special for me as we sang a worship song that always lifts my heart, causes me to raise my hands and yes, even moves  my feet to dancing like I might do in one of those good old a Pentecostal Churches. I did a little of that yesterday, probably much to the surprise of many who were sitting behind me, and  who were probably wondering what had happened to  that 79-year-old white haired pastor.

Raise a Halleluiah was written in a time of impending tragedy. The writer, Jonathan Helser felt inspired to write it at the time when a little child in the church was close to going home to the Lord. Sorrow and sadness had enveloped the church as the news of the little boy’s situation quickly traveled through the pews.

It was then that Randy picked up his guitar and with his wife sang a song he had just written; it was a song I will never forget. As I heard it sung for the first time while watching it on my computer, torrents  of tears started falling, and I remember getting up from my computer and lifting my hands heavenward as I began singing and praising God, right along with the Bethel congregation.

Oh, I am grateful for all the great hymns that have been written and sung throughout the ages, and I look forward to the few times when we still sing them, but I do love  those new and wonderful contemporary Christian classics which have touched so many hearts.

“Raise a Hallelujah” is my devotional for the day, and I hope it will speak to your heart as it did to mine yesterday, and as it does every time I hear it sung.

I encourage you to click on the link below and spend the next few minutes raising your hands -it’s OK for no one is looking but God- and lifting your voices in praise as you sing along with the Bethel congregation as they celebrate  one of the great victories in the life of that church, the healing of a child.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Click on Raise a Hallelujah:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awkO61T6i0k

Leadership Thought: 6 Words That Will Get You Thrown Out of a Monastery.

Dear  Friends,

Somebody has said on the seventh day God rested and on the 8th day He started answering complaints.

Yes, there is a whole lot of complaining going on these days.

It has been a tough year and many of us are on edge. We want things to be different but complaining is not the best solution for our situation.  Like rocking in a rocking chair; it gives us something to do, but we won't get us anywhere.

There is a story about a monk in a monastery. In his particular order, all the monks were required to take a vow of silence. But at the end of the year each monk was allowed two words that could be spoken to the Holy Father. At the end of the first year, the Father asked the monk what he had to say. The new monk’s reply was ‘Hard bed.’

At the end of the second year, the new monk returned and again was asked what two words he would speak. He replied, ‘Bad food.’

The Holy Father nodded and sent him on his way again. At the end of the third year, when the new monk returned and was asked what two words he had to say, he spoke up immediately and said, ‘I quit.’ To which the father nodded and said, “No, wonder, all you do is complain, complain, complain.”

No one likes a complainer. Your family and friends don’t like your complaining! But more importantly, God does not like your complaining, even though He is the Perfect Listener.

In His Word we read, “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe” (Philippians 2:14-15).

 Too often we are like the duffer pictured in a cartoon who drives his  tee shot into a tree. The ball then caroms off the tree to hit a large stone, then, ricochets against a post, and finally bounces to the edge of the green. “Can you beat that,” the duffer complains, "I left myself a long put.”

If you received a nickel every time you said, “thanks” and paid a nickel for every time you complained, would you be richer or poorer?

If anyone had reason to complain about their circumstances, it was certainly  the Apostle Paul and his friend Silas. They were flogged and thrown into prison unjustly. Though Roman citizens, they were denied their civil rights. Yet despite their abusive treatment you find no hint of anger or vengeance at in their attitude toward their captors. Rather than seething, they are singing, rather than grumbling they are gracious, rather than murmuring about their lives, they are magnifying their Lord.

How do we respond to adverse circumstances? Do we murmur and complain like those Israelites in the wilderness, or does gratitude replace our grumbling?

When I think of what Paul went through and realize the way he responded, all I can do is say “shame on me, Tom,  for responding the way I often do when things don’t go my way.”

I hope a little levity will encourage you to adopt a more gracious perspective toward the challenges you face or the situations you confront.

Have a great weekend, and be sure and check your pockets on Monday to see if you might be just a little richer?

Make it a great weekend

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

2 Peter 1:2

 P.S. And yes, and if you ever have reason to complain to your mule, do it to his face!

Leadership Thought: A Love Letter Surprise from a Friend I Found in My Mailbox.

Dear Friends,

It arrived a few weeks ago. It was nestled inside an orange envelope that the postman had left in our mailbox, I ripped open the colorful envelope and inside was a Happy Thanksgiving card. It was not the kind of card you would throw away. On the outside of the card there were  a few brown trees and below the trees were a pile of many-colored leaves  that had been glued on at the bottom of the trees. Above it all were the words Happy Thanksgiving. Inside the card was a glued orange rectangle that looked like it had been stitched on the card which contained her Thanksgiving greeting.

This card was a real keepsake, too beautiful to ever throw away, so there it sits a top my desk where it greets me every morning, a daily reminder of a special friend "who cared enough to send her very best." 

The card I described  is just one of the many beautifully handcrafted cards I have received from Cathy DiBlasi, a member of our church. Hobbled by a series of health issues and limited in the things she is able to do; she uses her time and her art crafting skills to create unique expressions of card sending love. And the best part of it all is upon opening the card you discover a handwritten note expressing her love for you. Personally, created cards with handwritten notes have mostly gone out of style in a Hallmark world, but not for Cathy DiBlasi.

All of this got me to thinking about the ways  we  express our love to others. Not much tops a beautifully  hand fashioned  card containing a handwritten note inside. Over the years I have been the beneficiary of a number of special cards and handwritten notes, many of which are still stacked inside my traveling file cabinet I call my bible, and  Cathy’s card will eventually be filed there under the category, "love."

Last night at our Spiritual Leadership Class, we were studying a chapter from Oswald Chambers book, Spiritual Leadership titled “More Essential Qualities of Leadership,” and to my surprise, “The Art of Letter Writing was included as one of leadership's essential qualities.  

Letter writing was something that the Apostle Paul did on a regular basis. Today we possess 12, maybe 13 of his letters depending on one's view on the authorship of the book of Hebrews. Oswald Sanders says Paul’s letters “were filled with encouragement, were gracious in compliment and rich in sympathy. Those who received them were always enriched (Philippians 1:27-30).”

Letters cannot smile, but they can speak. They can shout  love, breathe encouragement, and convey care. Interestingly enough, letter writing formed a big part in the follow up program of the great evangelist George Whitefield. “For it was said of him that after preaching to large crowds, he would work late into the night writing letters of encouragement to new converts.” Spiritual Leadership, Oswald Chambers p. 89.

Is there someone you know who would be bolstered  by some expression of your love or encouragement?  Oh, you don’t have to be a Cathy DiBlasi and design some fancy and elaborate card or possess pen ultimate handwriting skills. No, just a piece of notepaper and a few lines of your love scribbled in your unique handwriting will do just fine. In the words of Nike's trademark logo, "Just do it."

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

2 Peter 1:2

Leadership Thought: What Do You Do When You Forget the Names of Your Kids?

Dear Friend,

Jerry Kirk, a pastor friend in a former denomination, told how he had come home after a busy day at church, the kind of day that when your wife meets you at the door, you ask, “Honey, tell me the names of our kids once again.” Jerry had longed for a quiet evening at home where he could sit back in his easy chair, read the paper, and maybe catch a favorite television program. But then it happened. As he was just settling down, the phone rang. His wife picked up the phone and after a few minutes she hung up the phone and relayed the message to her husband who was comfortably ensconced in his favorite chair. She said to him “One of your members is in the hospital, and he wants to see a pastor.” With that Jerry let out a loud groan, the kind that communicated the thought, “Do I have to go, Lord?” His wife turned to him and said, “Honey, what’s the matter? Don’t you love your people?” And with that Jerry responded, “Yes, but I just don’t want to love so many so fast.”

Did you ever feel that way? I know I have and the times are probably too many to count. I particularly remember one of those situations when I, like Jerry, was resting at home one night after dinner and I got one of those calls. It too, was a hospital call, and I rationalized that it could certainly wait until the next morning. But then it happened. I got the Holy Spirit nudge that quickly reminded me where I needed to be, and it was not at home. So begrudgingly I went with anything but the best intentions. And guess what? I not only got to see the patient I intended to visit, but I also was able to visit another member who was also in the same hospital. After returning home, I remember feeling that I was no longer tired, but I was filled with a renewed sense of energy.

It often happens that way doesn’t it?  But like myself we sometimes need to be reminded that the Holy Spirit is not only our spiritual energizer, but He is our physical energizer as well.

In James we read, “Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins” (James 3:17). I thought to myself I am all too familiar with the sins of commission, but what about the sins of omission? Would I have sinned had I decided not to have made that hospital visit? I don’t know, but I think the verse  indicates that was a possibility.  And then I thought of Gal 6:9-10, where Paul writes, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” Maybe James was not talking about some future reward, but maybe the reward was right now. Maybe the reaping began the moment I first decided in my heart to make that hospital visit.

Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest,  asks, “Have you delivered yourself over to exhaustion because of the way you have been serving God? If so, then renew and rekindle your desires and affections. Examine your reasons for service. Is your source based on your own understanding or it is grounded on the redemption of Jesus Christ? Continually look back to the foundation of your love and affection and remember where your source of power lies. You have no right to complain, ‘O Lord I am so exhausted.’ He saved and sanctified you to exhaust you. Be exhausted for God, but remember that He is your supply. ‘All my springs are in you’” (Psalm 87:7).

Do you have something the Lord has been wanting you to do that you have been putting because you knew it could easily to do it “tomorrow?”  Go, and do it now, and never be 'weary in doing good,' for who knows, the Lord might just bless you right in the “now” in ways that you had never imagined.

Yours in faith,

Tom 

Leadership Thought: How the Question "Who's Your Daddy?" Changed a Life and Made a Governor.

Dear Friends,

I had just returned from the awards ceremony at Calvary Christian Academy in Fort Lauderdale where I was the athletic director, and even to this day I remember my amazement over the award that was given to a student in our school.  He had won the “most improved” award. What surprised me about the award was that this young man had been one of the greatest teaching challenges in the school. Often unruly, and  possessing an uncompliant attitude, he was almost impossible to teach. 

 I was particularly interested in how this student who had earned such a bad reputation could have earned this award, and as coincidence would have it, one of his teachers was standing right next to me, so I asked him, “What brought about this remarkable transformation? The teacher began by telling me, “I just determined to love on him.” He told me that every opportunity he had, he found something to praise and affirm him for. He said, “It wasn’t always easy, and there were times when I wasn’t sure my efforts were paying off, but I kept at it and kept at it.”

I’ve long forgotten the student’s name and the teacher who told me the story, but what I do remember is how one man’s words had changed a young person’s life.

Not long after this incident I came across a story that has always been one of my favorites. It powerfully expresses the power of words to impact one’s life. It was told by a well-known pastor named Fred Craddock,  and the story has made its rounds on the internet, so you may have read it or heard it preached. According to Snopes, and I checked it this morning, it is true.  

One morning Dr. Craddock was vacationing with his wife in Gatlinburg, TN. They were eating breakfast at a little restaurant hoping to enjoy a quiet family meal. While they were waiting for their food, they noticed a distinguished looking white-haired man moving from table to table, visiting with the guests. The professor leaned over and whispered to his wife, “I hope he doesn’t come over here.” But sure enough, the man did come over to their table. “Where are you folks from?” he asked in a friendly voice.

Oklahoma,” they answered.

“Great to have you here in Tennessee,” the stranger said.

“What do you do for a living?”

“I teach at a seminary, “ he replied.

“Oh, so you teach preachers how to preach, do you? Well I’ve  got a great story for you.” And with that, the gentleman pulled up a chair and sat down at the table with the couple.

The professor groaned and thought to himself, “Great…just what I need- another preacher story.” The man started, “See that mountain over there pointing out the restaurant window. Not far from the base of that mountain, there was a boy born to an unwed mother. He had a hard time growing up, because every place he went, he was always asked the same question, ‘Hey boy, Who’s your daddy?” “Whether he was at school, in the grocery store or drug store, people would ask the same question, ‘Who’s your daddy?’

He would hide at recess and lunch time from other students. He would avoid going into stores because that question hurt him so bad. When he was about 12 years old, a new preacher came to his church. He would always come in late and slip out early to avoid hearing the question, ‘Who’s your daddy?’ But one day, the new preacher said the benediction so fast he got caught and had to walk out with the crowd.

Just about the time he got to the back door, the new preacher, not knowing anything about him, put his hand on his shoulder and asked him, ‘Son, who’s your daddy?’ The whole church got deathly quiet. He could feel every eye in the church looking at him. Now everyone would finally know the answer to the question, ‘Who’s your daddy.’ This new preacher, though, sensed the situation around him and using discernment that only the Holy Spirit could give, said the following to that scared little boy.

“’Wait a minute!’ he said. ‘I know who you are. I see the family resemblance now. You are a child of God. With that he patted the boy on his shoulder and said, ‘Boy, you’ve got a great inheritance. Go and claim it.’

With that, the boy smiled for the first time in a long time and walked out the door a changed person. He was never the same again.

Whenever anybody asked him, ‘Who’s your Daddy?’ he’d just tell them, ‘I’m a Child of God’” The distinguished gentleman got up from the table and said, “Isn’t that a great story?”

The professor responded that it really was a great story.

As the man turned to leave, he said, “You know, if that new preacher hadn’t told me that I was one of God’s children, I probably never would have amounted to anything!” And he walked away.

The seminary professor and his wife were stunned. He called the waitress over and asked her, “Do you know who that man was who just left that was sitting at our table?”

The waitress grinned and said, “Of course. Everybody here knows him. That’s Ben Hooper. He’s the former governor of Tennessee!”

Maybe someone in your life today needs a reminder that they’re one of God’s children!

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought:   Demolished Pride and Shattered Glasses.

Dear Friends,

"Sometimes we listen, sometimes we learn, and sometimes we lose." I thought about these words the day after listening to one of our church members remind me of an incident that took place years ago while we were both involved in another  church. 

We were at a family retreat and I was enjoying some time playing catch with my son, Tommy who was a pitcher.  Someone yelled out to my friend's son, "I bet you could never hit Tommy." And that was all that was needed for my friend's son to grab a bat, step to the plate and accept the challenge. Now my son, who went on to be a college pitcher, could throw pretty hard, even at age 12, and I thought to myself this kid could never hit Tommy. My friend, who was the boy's father, says,  "Tom, you better put on a mask," but I responded, Gary,  my son is so fast that your son will never touch him. Well, I am sure you already sense where the story is going. Tommy winds up, throws his first pitch, a fast ball of course, and my friend's son swings, and hits a foul tip that gets me straight between the eyes. As I embarrassedly lifted the broken frames that were hanging from one ear, I thought  to myself, "I guess I should have listened to my friends advice."

Yes "sometimes we listen, sometimes we learn and sometimes we lose."

How true it is that we often are too proud to  listen to the advice that comes from another. We can fail to learn valuable lessons because our pride refuses to admit that someone might know something that we don’t know. When someone offers a wise word of advice, we  think to ourselves, “Don’t worry, I can handle this for I have done it a hundred times before." We forget the wisdom of the Word  that reminds us that “Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall (Pro. 16:18). In ignoring  the wise counsel of others, we often suffer the consequences of our pride. 

Proverbs 9:9 reminds us "Give instruction to a wise man and he will be still wiser. Teach a righteous man and he will increase his learning."

All of this reminds me of one of my favorite books. It is short, only five chapters long, and it can be read in in less than a minute. A minute to read five chapters, why that is impossible, you say. I took the Evelyn Wood speed reading course many years ago, but I don’t think I could ever read that fast. Well, check me out and see how long it takes you to read this book.

                                                                   I Fell Into A Hole

                                                                   by Portia Davis

                                                                  CHAPTER ONE
I walk down a street and there’s a big hole. I don’t see it and fall into it. It’s dark and hopeless and it takes me a long time to find my way out. It’s not my fault !

                                                                CHAPTER TWO
I walk down the same street. There’s a big hole and I can see it, but I still fall in. It’s dark and hopeless and it takes me a long time to get out. It’s still not my fault.

                                                                  CHAPTER THREE
I walk down a street. There’s a big hole. I can see it, but I still fall in. It’s become a habit. But I keep my eyes open and get out immediately. It is my fault.

                                                               CHAPTER FOUR
I walk down a street. There’s a big hole. And I walk around it.

                                                              CHAPTER FIVE

I walk down a different street.

Hopefully, it won’t take us five chapters to learn the lesson God wants us to learn.  What is it that they say in AA about the definition or insanity? “It is doing the same thing again and again while expecting different results.”

Fortunately, mistakes don't have to define us, that is, if we don’t continue to make them again and again. Learning from our mistakes is an important part of our maturing process. Such learning  can lead us down the road to improvement and future success.

Failing to learn from our mistakes, however, can lead us down the opposite road, the one that leads to ruin and disaster.

The choices we make, make us, so be sure and be wise lest you fall into another one of those holes in the street.

Yours in faith and friendship

Tom

Leadership Thought: How Can I Be Sure That I Am Going to Heaven?

Dear Friend,

How can I know when I leave planet earth that I am bound for heaven? I find a lot of people don’t know the answer to this question. But the bible has a clear answer to this question. It tells us in  1 John 5:13 that  “These things I have written to you that you might know you have eternal life. Yes, you can know.  But the question is how? 

Back in 1962 I discovered the answer when I learned that it was not through my efforts to be good enough  (some people today think this is the gateway to heaven), but sadly they are wrong, for the Bible says no one, no matter how good he or she may be is good enough to inherit eternal life.

It was back in 1962 in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin at a Fellowship of Christian Athlete’s Conference that I learned the answer to this question, and my life forever changed.

I used to think that if my good works outweighed my bad works, I would slip into heaven, so I always lived my life wondering how I was doing on this eternal life scale. Had I done enough good things to outweigh the bad things I had done. Had I gone to church enough, prayed enough, helped people enough. It was all about me and my accomplishments, and I thought that if I could always keep myself was  on the right side of the good works ledger, I would be OK, but I always lived in fear I had never done enough. Little did I know that my good works had nothing to do with my entrance into heaven. Even if I were to be living in the 99 percent  good works range, my efforts to get into heaven would not be good enough.

You see I didn’t know how really high the good works standard to gain eternal life  was. The bible says it is perfection for, “You must be perfect, even as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Since I had never met anyone who is perfect, I knew there must be another way.

I still remember hearing the words from the Bible, “It is by grace that you are saved, through faith, it is not because of your works, but it is a gift of God that no one could boast (See Ephesians 2;8-9).

It is not through by my works that I am saved, for no matter how high or wide the pile of my good works might be, they would  never be enough to open the door to heaven.  It is not through my many good works that I am saved, but only through the good work of Christ who died for me upon the cross that can open the door to heaven.

You have heard it said, "You must be born again” to enter into heaven. When Nicodemus  came to Jesus, he thought he had already purchased his ticket to heaven by the spiritual prominence and his position, for after all he was one or the spiritual leaders of the Jews. But Jesus had a surprise for him. He said, Nick, “You must be born again”. You need a new birth, not one that is physical, but one that is spiritual for this is the only way you will get into heaven. It is only by trusting in me and me alone that you will find your way to heaven.

God demonstrated his love for us  while we were still sinners. He went to the Cross, and He hung and died there for our sins. “He bore our sins in his body on the cross so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; (and) by his wounds you have been healed”(1 Peter 2:24).  In the words of that wonderful old hymn Rock of Ages, we can confess that,  “Nothing in my hands I bring, simply to the cross I cling.”.

It is on the cross that Jesus  died to take away your sins and my sins and in so doing He provides us the way to heaven and eternal life. Jesus took the wrap for my sins and His righteousness became mine, and so now when God looks at me, He sees me, as perfect and complete, just like his perfect Son. I am justified - ‘just as if I had never sinned.”

So, my friend stop trying but start trusting. The moment you start trusting in anything but Christ alone for your salvation, you are doomed to spend eternity apart from him. Good works can’t save you, no matter how good they might be.

So, if you have never received Jesus as your Lord and Savior, I hope you will do it today. If you do, not only will it be the greatest decision you will ever make, but you will know with certainty that you are headed to heaven.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. If you are not sure about anything that I have said, let me encourage you to take the Roman Road journey, a road that many unbelievers have traveled to find eternal life. It is called the Roman road because all of the verses come from the book of Romans. Romans 3:10;  Romans 3:23; Romans 6:23; Romans 5:8;  Romans 10:9-11; and Romans 10:13.

If you have any questions or would like to know more about my personal experience and how it changed my life, I hope you will let me know, and I will be glad to respond.

Leadership Thought: A "Funny" Thing Happened Last Night at Our Spiritual Leadership Class.

Dear Friends,

Last night at a Spiritual Leadership class in which I am involved, we wound up discussing a very interesting topic. It was the topic of humor and its significance in the life of a leader.  In light of  yesterday’s Leadership Thought on what we in our church affectionally call "Whimsey," I thought it appropriate to share a few thoughts on whimsey’s bedfellow humor, and more specifically humor's role  in the workplace.

We all agreed that  humor is not often listed as an important essential in a leader's tool bag. How many books have you read that included humor as an important quality for a leader to possess? Probably not many, but the more we discussed the subject, the more convinced we became that leadership was a key quality for a leader to possess.

The use of humor is an important part of the communication process. The workplace doesn’t have to be all work and no play, for as most of us have heard the adage,  “All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy." And who want a bunch of dullards in the workplace?

Yes, we all know the guy at work who spends more time cracking jokes than doing work, and yes, work is a serious business, but does it always have to be done in the absence of wit and humor.

I still remember the good-natured humor and fun we enjoyed while serving in the Calvary Chapel, Fort Lauderdale workplace. Jean and her friends would regularly play pranks on each other.  Several times to her dismay, she would find her parked car relocated to an entirely different parking lot, or discover that it had been completely  wrapped in saran wrap. We would occasionally find  "Cool Whip" messages scribbled on our bathroom mirror, or listen  to serious calls from disguised voices asking for some important favor. But Jean always got even.  I will never forget the time she hosted a Christmas party and passed  out name cards to her friends who were to participate in a future gift exchange. What the other girls  didn’t know was that Jean had placed her name on each one of the cards that were distributed for the gift exchange. So, you can imagine the consternation chagrin when the gifts were being exchanged and Jean got everyone.

Yes, it is OK to have fun in the workplace and see humor exercised in the life of a leader. Let me quote from our Spiritual Leadership book by J. Oswald Sanders. “Our sense of humor is a gift from God that should be controlled as well as cultivated. Clean wholesome humor will relax tension and relieve difficult situations, Agnes Strickland claimed that next to virtue, the fun in this world is what we can least spare, and Helmut Thieleke writes Should we not see that lines of laughter about the eyes are just as much marks of faith as are the lines of care and seriousness? Is it only earnestness that is baptized? Is laughter pagan?  A church is in a bad way when it banishes laughter from the sanctuary and leaves it to the cabaret, the nightclub and the toastmasters.” The above quotes are taken from Spiritual Leadership, Oswald Sanders, pp 77-78

And finally, “Humor is a great asset and an invaluable lubricant in missionary life. Indeed, it is a most serious deficiency  if a missionary lacks a sense of humor.”

After our discussion last night we all agreed that  humor is an important quality for the leader to possess, but the key in using it is balance and sensitivity, and  knowing the appropriate time, and place to use it,  and above all knowing the person(s) to whom it is directed.

So, I suggest you don’t go wrapping Pastor Jared’s car in saran wrap or relocating Nick’s car or leaving strange messages on our bathroom mirror. But then again, if you do, who know the fun we might have in being pranked.

Yours for humor in the workplace,

Tom 

Leadership Thought:  Will You Kneel or Stand before the Flag This Veterans Day?

Dear Friends,

Today is a special day for me. It is Veterans Day, As I normally do on my drive to the church, I will take a quick glance out my left  window to view the  7,002 individual flags that have been planted on the grounds of Westminster Presbyterian Church. For a number of years, Joe Hein, the church’s pastor and a good  friend of mine, has chosen to honor our military veterans with a display of 7,002 individual flags commemorating the over 7,000 service men and women  who have voluntarily surrendered their lives in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Last Saturday I had the privilege of attending a service on the grounds of the church as people from the community gathered  in a service to remember not only those who died in Afghanistan and Iraq, but those faithful service men and women who throughout our history have fought and died to preserve our freedom.

My dad was a retired army colonel who was the one in charge of security on the military base in Oak Ridge, Tenn. where the first atomic bomb was being secretly built. I attended Virginia Military Institute where I initially had initial  of a military career, and upon graduation from seminary I taught and coached at a Military Prep School in Syracuse, NY.

While I remain a staunch supporter of our military, I am sure I am still an enigma to some, for in 1968 I joined thousands of others young men across our nation who turned in our draft cards in protest over the war in Viet Nam. Unlike many who were written off as 'long haired, anti-American commies,' I was a  conservative,  evangelical seminary student who chose to drop my draft card in an offering plate at a seminary worship service in Princeton, NJ.

I was a living contradiction to many, for on one hand I was staunch supporter of our military, and yet I chose to become a Viet Nam draft resister in a movement that was spreading across our land.

Having confessed to being  a draft resistor during  the Viet Nam war, I also confess that to this day I am just as great a supporter of the military as I was on the day I tendered my draft card in that seminary worship service back in 1968.

I love this country and while never having served myself, I am grateful for the millions of men and women who have served in my place, and who have put their lives on the line in fighting to preserve my freedom. Whether policemen, firemen, army, navy, marine,  air force, or coast guard, I will always go out of my way to thank them whenever I see them dressed in their military garb.  And  to this day I never miss an opportunity to e-mail and thank my friends who have faithfully served, especially those who fought in Viet Nam.  It doesn’t take much effort to say a personal thanks to those who have served our nation, and I hope you will do so today and every day.

I close by quoting a part of a message that was  read at the Field of Flags celebration that I attended  last Saturday. It was given ten years ago by retired General, John Kelly, at a Veterans Day Celebration. His words provide ample justification for me to declare myself a proud flag waving American who is grateful for the millions of men and women who have proudly fought to preserve my freedom and the freedom of others around the world.

I quote a part of General Kelly's speech. “America’s warriors have never lost faith in their mission or doubted the correctness of their cause. They face dangers every day that their countrymen safe and comfortable this night cannot imagine. But this has always been the case in all the wars our military have been sent to fight. Not to build empires, or enslave people, but to  free those held in the grip of tyrants while at the same time protecting our nation its citizens, and our shared values. And, ladies and gentlemen, think about this, the only territory we as a people have ever asked for from any nation we have fought alongside , or against, since our founding, the entire extent of our overseas empire, as a few hundred acres of land for the 24 American cemeteries scattered around the globe. It is in these cemeteries where 220,000 of our sons and daughters rest in glory for eternity, or are memorialized forever in the deepest depths of the oceans or never recovered from far flung and nameless battlefields. As a people we can be proud because billions across the planet today live free, and billons yet unborn will also enjoy the same freedom and a chance at prosperity because America sent its sons and daughters out to fight and die for them, as much as for us.”

This is why I am still proud to wave the same flag that others  may  choose to kneel before. Those who choose to kneel instead of stand have every right  to do so; however,  they must never forget that the freedom they enjoy was earned and  preserved  by the same men and women we honor today who throughout the many years have fought to preserve that freedom.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Who Likes to Work with a Staff of Sourpusses?

Dear Friends,

Last night at our monthly elder's leadership meeting, we enjoyed a lot of whimsey while we worked. While dealing with a number of significant issues confronting our church-all good I might add- we were careful to 'allocate' a sufficient amount of time for some lighthearted "whimsey" while engaging in those serious discussions. Whimsy is a word that we use a lot on staff  around New Monmouth. It is a word that has come to mean a kind of playful communication that often brings joy and laughter to those on both the giving and receiving end. You might call it playful banter. It can momentarily relieve the stress of ministry-yes, there are occasions of stress for those of us engaged in the Lord’s work.

There is often a lot of laughter that accompanies whimsy, and I have found that laughter can be healthful, even invigorating.  It was President Lincoln who said, “With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh, I should die.”  Laughter can often help get us through stressful or challenging situations. It enables us to step away from a problem for a few moments, and in so doing gain a fresh perspective on the challenge we are facing.
You may have heard the saying “He who laughs-lasts.” I suspect there is a lot of truth to this statement. Laughter can relieve stress, and increase  longevity. It may also be true that laughing 100 times a day works the heart as much as exercising for ten minutes on a rowing machine.  Yes, laughter undoubtedly can be good for both the body and yes, even the soul.
Serving on a staff where we often laugh together makes ministry more enjoyable, and it assists in building comradery which is so important in building a team. 
Fun and laughter should be regular ingredients in a Christian’s life. These qualities can make us more relatable. As believers we should be joyful, playful, fun loving, and even whimsical for those possessing these qualities are generally the most attractive people to be around. Who wants to hang with stern, somber, humorless, lemon sucking killjoys who have no appreciation for a few laughs and a little whimsy?

As Christians we should be fun to be with. Our personality should pave the way for the  building of relationships, and those relationships can often provide the open door for the communication of the Gospel.

So, followers of Christ, let’s lighten up a bit and put a little more whimsy in our lives. Let’s laugh a little more and show the world that those who bear the name of Christ are the happiest people alive. And why shouldn’t we be, for we are the possessor of abundant and eternal life. 

Martin Luther wrote, “If you’re not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don’t want to go there,” and neither do I.

Yours in Whimsy,
Pastor Tom

P.S. “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones (Proverbs 17:22).

Leadership Thought: The Truth I Learned about Me and Jonah at Church Yesterday.

Dear Friends,

Yesterday in church we concluded a five-week study of the Book of Jonah, and following a time of prayer and worship we broke into small groups to discuss how the book of Jonah had impacted our lives. It was a great discussion as we wrestled with the meaning of this wonderful four-chapter book.

Jonah is more than just a “whale of a tale,” as some have been prone to describe it. It’s a story that highlights the danger of the kind of self-righteous behavior that all of us must seek to avoid.

God tells Jonah that He is to go to Assyria to visit the hated Ninevites and share the story of His love for these pagan people. However, Jonah, 'the runaway prophet,' knowing he possesses the  option to disobey God’s will, buys a sailing ticket that takes him in the opposite direction from the people God called him to visit. Jonah thought he knew best. Why would God call him to share His love with a pagan people so cruel and vicious that they were known to skin their enemies alive? God must be making a mistake in sending me,  such a God-fearing man that I am, to these hated people.

Jonah didn’t know that when we disobey God’s will for our will we will always go down; sacrificing peace for the storm and calm for calamity. Jonah thought he was too good to associate with these hated people. He is like the elder son in the story of the Prodigal Son. He resents the fact that his Father is rejoicing over the homecoming of his prodigal brother who has been spending his time in the pig pen of sin,  while he has remained at home dutifully fulfilling the tasks his father has given him. How can my father love him as much as he loves me, he thinks to himself? Why would he  throw a party for the him whose actions have so dishonored him and yet not throw one for me who has remained at home to serve him. He didn’t know, as one writer expressed it, that  “Jesus seeks the wandering sheep who strays from the fold as well as the  proud self-righteous brother who stays at  home, thinking he was the  good one.”

As Christians we need to be careful that we are not self-righteous in our thoughts and actions, like Jonah or the elder brother. The Bible declares that God desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth" (1 Timothy 2:4). And God’s all means all!

Does that include those who are destroying Christian churches in China, or burning them down in India, or taking the lives of believers in Nigeria? The answer is yes. All over the world Christians face an onslaught of persecution from those who hate us because they hate our faith. Are we supposed to love them? Yes, Jonah, them to.

But let’s bring the story closer to home. Does that mean that we should love the woman who threw rocks through our sanctuary windows this summer, and did the same to two other neighboring churches, costing thousands of dollars in damages? Yes , Jonah, she is included too. But what about all those looters and the ones that set fire to buildings and cost our nation billions of dollars as a result of the damage they inflicted on our nation’s cities this summer, them to? Yes, Jonah. But what about that Republican or Democratic neighbor we so despise for all the hateful things they have said about the things we believe in? Yes, Jonah, they are included as well.

The Christian faith is a missionary faith, and it must be carried with us and shared with our next-door neighbor as well as the neighbor who lives on the farthest corner of our globe. Yes, Jesus reminds us that we don’t choose our neighbors and that our neighbor is anyone  who has a need. Our mission is to reach our  neighbor, whether next door or around the world. He makes it clear when He says, “For the Son of man came to seek and to save the lost,” and may I politely remind you that at one time you were one of “them” that were lost! (Luke 19:10)...for “As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.” (John 20:21). And the “You” that is being sent is you and I and the millions of believers around the world who are called to faithfully fulfill our calling.

In Herman Melville’s book Moby Dick, the author writes. “Lord have mercy on us all for we are all somehow dreadfully cracked about the head and sadly in need of mending.” That includes us, pagans and Presbyterians and every other variety of faith and practice. Handicapped  as we are, my question is, will we be a Jonah and run from our calling or a follower of Jesus who sets his heart on doing His will wherever we are and wherever we go

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Lesson More Than a Lesson on Country Music-Be Sure you Read to the End.

Dear Friends,

Those who know me are probably aware of the fact that I love classic country music, and when I’m home and I’m often  tuned in to Pandora as I listen to my favorite Pandora station, a mix of Merle Haggard and Willy Nelson. I don’t know why I have such an affinity for country music, but I guess it goes  way back to the late 50’s when I first heard Elvis Pressley belting out  “Heartbreak Hotel.”  I would often stay up late at night to catch the music coming from WWVA Wheeling, West Virginia where I would also hear the Grand Old Opry. There is just something about country music and the stories that are told that brings tears to my eyes and joy to my heart.

In the early morning hours today, I was doing some research on a song I had never heard before called “Leonard” sung  by my favorite classic country singer of all, Merle Haggard. I heard the song yesterday on Pandora, and in doing some research on the song, I discovered that Leonard was a fictionalized name for a singer- song writer named Tommy Collins who was a part of the “Bakersfield Sound” popularized by Dwight Yoakam and Buck Owens. And in the process of discovering some interesting facts about the song, I came across a video of two of my  favorite country singers, Randy Travis and George Jones. They are both country music legends, considered to be two of the greatest country singers who ever lived. George died a few years ago, only months before I had tickets to see him in concert in my hometown or Watertown, N.Y,  and Randy suffered a stroke this past  decade that ended his singing career.

Randy and George were  informally sharing their love for country music and discussing some of the early singers that had influenced their music careers, people like Hank Williams, Lefty Frizzell and Roy Acuff, and I was captivated by their conversation and their deep love and appreciation for country music. But the thing that stuck me the most was the mutual love and respect Randy and George had for each other. George and Randy were among the greatest  country music singers of all time and during the informal time before they came on stage to sing, they were discussing some of the country legends who preceded them and who had influenced their music. If you go to U Tube and click on Influencers, Randy Travis and George Jones, you will see and hear their amazing conversation as they reminisced about their country roots and the people who impacted and influenced them. Even if you are not a fan of classic county music, I think you will be intrigued by their close personal relationship and the  mutual respect they shared for one another. The conversation then leads into their concert which includes their duet of one of my all-time favorites, “A Few Old Country Boys.”

George Jones is known for the singing of “He Stopped Loving Her Today,” which is considered to be one of  the greatest country hits of all time, Randy Travis, who is also  in the upper echelon of greatest country singers, is best known for songs like “Three Wooden Crosses,” “On the Other Hand,” and  “Forever and Ever Amen.”

But Tom, this is a strange “Leadership Thought” to be sharing today. How does Country Music have anything to do with a Leadership Thought? Well, the answer is not much, except that is has momentarily taken my mind off all the political drama unfolding before our eyes on our television screens. I thought many of us might enjoy a  break from vote counting and political posturing, and what better way to do this than to listen to  some down-home country music.

So, I apologize to you if you were expecting something a little more spiritual than a history lesson on classic country music. So, in deference to you, let me close by hopefully bringing all of us back to something of redeeming spiritual value as I share a list of my all-time favorite Christian  country classics. Take a listen and you might find yourself becoming, if you are not already, a  fan of country music. Here they are.  “I Saw God Today,” George Strait, “Family Bible”, George Jones, “The Old Rugged Cross,” Johnny Cash, “How Great Thou Art,” Carrie Underwood, “Bless The Broken Road,” Rascal Flatts, “The Long Black Train,” Josh Turner, “Angels Among Us,” Alabama,  “Holes in the Floor of Heaven,” Steve Wariner, “Believe,” Brooks and Dunne,  “Jesus Take the Wheel,” Carrie Underwood, “Three Wooden Crosses,” Randy Travis, and my all-time favorite “Go Rest High on the Mountain,” sung at the funeral of George Jones by Vince Gill and Patti Lovelace.

Have a wonderful weekend and let me know some of some of your favorite country hits, especially those Christian ones. 

And maybe after listening to some of these songs, I'll you out on the floor, a part of the line dancing crowd at Bubba’s Saloon!

Yours in faith and friendships,

Tom

Leadership Thought: How My Grand Daughter Would Solve the Political Chaos.

Dear Friends,

My five-year-old granddaughter came up with a wonderful suggestion on how to solve all of the politicking and lawyering up that is now taking place in the aftermath of the most contentious election in modern history. She overheard our family discussing the closeness of the election, and she asked, “Why don’t they (Trump and Biden) get together and share the office? What an idea? Co-presidents would certainly be a novel twist in addressing the chaos permeating our political system. Mitch McConnell and Nancy Pelosi sitting at the table over a cup of coffee and having a “get to know you better party.”

I didn’t begin to try and explain to Reese the magnitude of differences that exist between our two presidential candidates, as I am sure she wouldn’t have understood why getting the two of them to work together would pose more problems than we already have.

We are long past the days when people who hold extreme and divergent views can sit down and respectfully talk with one another without the conversation quickly going south.

My sister-in-law is an independent thinker who I would consider to be a political moderate. Her husband was a career Marine, and she harbors a great love for our military. She shares conservative views on a number of political issues, but she doesn’t toe the party line, and so she supported and voted for Joe Biden. Unfortunately, supporting Joe Biden and voting as she did, has cost her a number of significant friendships, and I feel sad for her.

It seems almost impossible in this politically charged environment to still be friends with people who are different from us and who hold antithetical positions on many of the issues before that are important to us. It is becoming more and more difficult to sit down with such people and carry on civil discourse and still walk away with our friendship intact.

To my way of thinking, the best result of the election, assuming Joe Biden is declared our next president, is that it appears the Republicans will still control the Senate, and there will remain a balance of power in Congress. While this may be good news for some, it may be bad news for others. A continued balance in Congress may be the source of more of the political infighting and gridlock that we have been accustomed to, while fostering an even more toxic environment where little gets done and name calling continues to be an accepted standard of communication.

“No Reese, President Trump and Joe Biden would never be able to  get along with each other, for they are too different.” But what if in Reese’s imaginary world, it happened, and the two of them were able to be respectful of one another, and they forged a friendship and fostered a new spirit of civility. Just maybe such actions would translate into greater cooperation and cooperation into productive collaboration, and surprisingly some things might get done in the halls of Congress. No, we may not see prolife advocates holding hands and singing "kum ba yah" with those who are prochoice, but hopefully we might discover common ground on other less divisive issues. And as a result, some momentum might be achieved that would lead to cooperation that in turn would lead to more significant accomplishments.

Like Reese, I am still dreaming, but wouldn’t it be nice if rather than four more years of a political gridlock, we were able to bridge some of our differences and arrive at some compromises where no one wins everything they want, but where all come out as winners because for once they have finally gotten something done. I think  greater civility and respect for one another would go a long ways in enabling our country to move forward and get back to a sense of normalcy.

What if, in the hope of progress, we could adopt the spirit of Ecc. 4:9-10 that reminds us “That two are better than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help.” 

And what if every political leader had Philippians 2:1 inscribed on their paper weights as a reminder that “If there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participating in Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.”

Now these scriptural examples may not be acceptable to everyone but if enough Christians in Congress began to live out their faith and embrace it, just maybe the spirit of compromise and collaboration might catch on and who knows what might happen?

In closing let me suggest that each of us brings this model of civility to our own front door. We may not walk the aisles of Congress, but we do walk the streets of Red Bank, and Shrewsbury and Middletown and Little Silver, and we can model this kind of civility at home, in church, in school, and at work, and who knows but what this kind of spirit might catch on and before long we will have established a "Civility Movement" that will change our nation. Like Reese, I would like to pray and dream that might happen.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom