New  Monmouth Musings: Put a Little Whimsy in Your Life.

Dear Friends,

Whimsy is a word that we on staff use a lot around New Monmouth. It is a word that has come to mean a kind of playful communication that often brings joy and laughter to those on both the giving and receiving end. You might call it playful banter. It can momentarily relieve the stress of ministry-yes, there are occasions of stress for those of us engaged in the Lord’s work. 

There is often a lot of laughter that accompanies whimsy, and I have found that laughter can be healthful, even invigorating.  It was President Lincoln who said, “With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh, I should die.”  Laughter can often help get us through stressful or challenging situations. It enables us to step away from a problem for a few moments, and in so doing gain a fresh perspective on the challenge we are facing.

You may have heard the saying “He who laughs-lasts.” I suspect there is a lot of truth to this statement. Laughter can relieve stress, and increase  longevity. It may also be true that laughing 100 times a day works the heart as much as exercising for ten minutes on a rowing machine.  Yes, laughter undoubtedly can be good for both the body and yes, even the soul.

Serving on a staff where we often laugh together makes ministry more enjoyable, and it assists in building comradery which is so important in building a team. 

Fun and laughter should be regular ingredients in a Christian’s life. These qualities can make us more relatable. As believers we should be joyful, playful, fun loving, and even whimsical for those possessing these qualities are generally the most attractive people to be around. Who wants to hang with stern, somber, humorless, lemon sucking killjoys who have no appreciation for a few laughs and a little whimsy?

As Christians we should be fun to be with. Our personality should pave the way for the  building of relationships, and those relationships can often provide the open door for the communication of the Gospel.

So, followers of Christ, let’s lighten up a bit and put a little more whimsy in our lives. Let’s laugh a little more and show the world that those who bear the name of Christ are the happiest people alive. And why shouldn’t we be, for we are the possessor of abundant and eternal life. 

Martin Luther wrote, “If you’re not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don’t want to go there,” and neither do I.

Yours in Whimsy,
Pastor Tom

P.S. “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones (Proverbs 17:22).

New Monmouth Musings: Are You an “Unfair Weather” Friend?

Dear Friends

Those who know me well, know that I love country music, real country, or classic country as it is better known. I love Johnny, and Randy, and Willie, and Merle and Waylon and George Jones and the like.  A few months ago, I called out to my good friend Alexa, and said “Alexa, play me some Merle Haggard and Willie Nelson,” and she did. And while I know most every song that Willie and Merle ever sung, I didn’t know the one she played. I listened as my old friends musically reminisced about what it means to be  “unfair weather” friends which happens to be the title of the song.

In that song two of country's greatest musical troubadours beautifully define the meaning of friendship. Read and listen to their words.

“I might wind up stuck out on some old forgotten highway
Somehow you'll show up and sure enough be ‘goin' my way

You're always there, right where you've always been
My come whatever, unfair weather friend

I don't have to wonder where'll you be if I should need you
All I have to do is close my eyes and I can see you
Always there, right where you've always been

Sometimes this whole world is my worst enemy
And I know where to run when it gets to me
No one else but you can make it all make sense
My come whatever, unfair weather friend”

I have accumulated a lot of friends over my years of ministry and how grateful I am for each one of them. Over Christmas, Jean and I took the time to re-read a huge stack of cards and letters that we had received during 2019, a time when we were both recovering from cancer surgeries. During those two hours of reading, we once again savored every line of your love, and inwardly gave thanks for the love and encouragement of so many “unfair weather” friends. We both were reminded of the fact that friends can be wonderful medicine for the soul.

One is lucky to have friends, but one is especially blessed to have  “unfair weather” friends who, as one writer expressed it, “will  step in when the whole word steps out.” These are the kind of friends who will show up on your doorstep at the  time you need them the most.

One of the greatest “unfair weather” friends in the Bible was Onesiphorous, a little-known friend of the Apostle Paul. Onesiphorous visited Paul while in prison and he “often refreshed him and was not ashamed of his chains” (2 Tim 1:16). Onesiphorous certainly lived up to his name which meant “bringing profit,” and he did just that for Paul.  Onesiphorous left his family in Ephesus and traveled a great distance to Rome, spending two months encouraging Paul while he was imprisoned. He expended his time and money and risked his own life to make the long arduous journey to bring food, clothing, and money to assist his “unfair weather” friend.

To possess an “unfair weather friend like Onesiphorous is a wonderful treasure.

Proverbs 17:17 reminds us that “a friend loves at all times,” and this is the perfect description of an “unfair weather” friend.

Today let’s thank God for the “unfair weather” friends in our life who have “loved us at all times,” and let’s in turn recommit ourselves to loving others in the same way-“at all times.” Why not drop a note or make a call to one of your “unfair weather” friends and let them know how much you love and appreciate them? And while doing that, why not begin to cultivate some new “unfair weather” friends whom you can love and who will love you in return. If you do, one day they may say to you as one friend said to another: “To be your friend is to possess a great gift.”

Yours in faith and friendship,

Pastor Tom

Have You Chosen Your Life Word for 2020?

Dear Friends:

What’s your “Life Word” for this coming year? That’s the question I asked each of my family members while vacationing with them over Christmas in Destin, Florida. For the past few years, each of my children and I have selected one word that will be our focus for the coming year. Our “Life Word” is a word that represents a value or goal that will bring intentionality to our life and actions for the new year.

In Life Word, Discover Your One Word to Leave a Legacy, Dan Britton writes “Your Life Word is a word that will inspire you to live your best life while leaving your greatest legacy. In the process, you’ll discover your ‘why’ which will help show you the way to live with a renewed sense of power, purpose and passion.”

You have probably heard the expression, “Life is God’s gift to us and what we do with it is our gift to God.” As I thought about what I would select as my Life Word for 2020, I wanted it to be a fitting gift to God. The life word I have chosen for 2020 is the word ‘value.’ In the year 2020 I want my focus to be on adding value to others. I want to be continually searching for ways that I can make others better by adding value to their lives.

The late Mother Teresa exhorts us saying, “Don’t let anyone leave you without being better or happier,” and that is good advice for the one who seeks to add value to others. I want to be a difference maker and I hope you do to.

I would encourage you to join with me and thousands of others who are looking to live 2020 with a focus on doing something that will make a difference in your life or in the lives of others.

In closing, I would love to hear the Life Word you have prayerfully chosen for this New Year. 

Yours in faith and friendship,
Pastor Tom

Why Would Anyone Want to Change the Name of the Church?

Dear Friends,

What’s with the name of a church? Well, today there is a significant sector of our church world that is very concerned with the name of their church.  Today many churches are renaming (rebranding) their name. They are jettisoning denominational affiliations like Baptist and Presbyterian and Methodist in favor or what some would suggest are more trendy and marketable names. Within a radius of 75 miles of our church, we find new and different sounding names of churches than we might not be accustomed to. There is Searchlight, Branch, Triumphant Life, Universal Church, Liquid, Elevate, Cornerstone, New Hope  and The Journey Church to name only a few. Take a road trip across the country and you are apt to see strange church ‘signage’ with names like  Door of Hope, The Nest of Love, The Refuge, Burning Hearts, Ignite, Oasis, The Potential Church, Wellspring, and the one I think is most unique: ReThink Life Church. 

According to the National Association of Evangelicals, “63 percent of its member churches do not include any denominational name.” (Taken from the  Internet, “The 9 Worst Kinds of Hilariously Trendy Church Names”). 

Why are churches, especially denominational churches, looking to change their names? For many it is the idea that by dropping their denominational label, they will be able to draw more of the unchurched who might be turned off by past experiences with denominational churches. For many the idea of a denominational church projects thoughts of old fashion, stuffy, uncontemporary and not relevant (hence why you have a whole group of “Relevant Churches” springing up across our country. 

Proponents of renaming churches suggest people today are looking for churches that might be described as informal, casual, and contemporary. The bottom line is they are seeking something different from the typical traditional church setting they grew up in. Some of those supporting name change, would also argue that they are more interested in talking about Christ as a reason for membership than defending or explaining the uniqueness of a particular denomination. 

I found it interesting that there is some research that reveals there are two denominations that don’t carry the baggage that some other denominational churches do, and they are Catholic and, you guessed it or maybe you didn’t, Baptist. This study by Lifeway Research also showed that “half of Americans view denominational labels  favorably, while the other half either feels negatively about them, or don’t care.” The study also concluded that “Eight out of ten unchurched adults do not feel a non-denominational name would make them more likely to consider visiting a particular church.” (Ron Sellers, President of Grey Matter, as quoted from the internet article “The 9 Worst Kinds of Hilariously Trendy Church Names.”

So, what does this all have to do with New Monmouth Baptist Church? In the interest of transparency, I would acknowledge that there have been some leaders in the church, myself included, who have often wondered if the renaming of our church would result in attracting more visitors. I suspect that sooner or later, your leadership, like the leadership in many  other churches across our land, will wrestle with this very question, and if, and when we do, we know that the topic will generate some intense and heated discussion from both sides.

Whether changing the name of a church with 150 years of tradition is a good idea or not, it needs to be thoughtfully and reasonably discussed. There are pros and cons of name change, and the question that must be foremost in our minds is what is the most effective way our church can reach our community for Christ? The name of a church may or may not be important to some people, but it will never be the most important factor in a person’s decision to attend or join a church.  The most important factor will be what takes place inside the church. If there is Christ centered preaching, leadership integrity, friendly people, strong relationships, a heart to see people come to Jesus, and a genuine love and desire to serve the community, it makes little difference what the name of the church might be. What’s inside the church will always trump the name appearing on the signboard outside.

I would be interested in hearing your thoughts on the pros and cons of church name change, but whether you are for or against such a change, let your communication be grace filled and spirit generated.

Yours in faith and fellowship,

Pastor Tom

P.S. And if the church should ever decide to move forward with a name change, I pray that it might never opt for any of the following existing churches like Fishnet Worship Center, Cowboy Church, Fun Church or the Church in the Now.

Crossing the Home Plate of Discipleship through Small Groups


Dear Friends

If you have seen the movie, “A Few Good Men,” you probably remember the striking three-word question shouted by Colonel Jessup as he sought to defend himself against the charges of malfeasance: "Are we clear?”

Likewise, as a church we need to be asking ourselves the same question. Are we clear when it comes to communicating what we believe should be the goals and direction of our church? Church members deserve to know those goals and the process by which we seek to achieve them.  For example, if one of our goals is to ‘make disciples,’ and I hope we all can concur with this goal, then the question becomes how will we achieve this goal?  If we know the “what”-making disciples, then what is the “how”-the process for making disciples?

To use a baseball analogy, just putting the ball in play is never enough. We need to figure out how we can insure our players cross home plate. If the team is not clear on the “how to” of accomplishing the goal, we may wind up with each player using his own strategy to accomplish the goal, rather than working together in a coordinated effort to achieve that goal.

Your leadership believes that one of the most effective ways of achieving the goal of making disciples is through the formation of small groups. To that end, each of our pastors and elders are unified in their commitment to help form and foster small groups during the coming year.

A lot of discipleship strategies include the dispensing of information-what disciples need to know- largely communicated in the large group context of worship, and yes, knowing what to believe is an important part of the disciple making process. But also, of critical importance is teaching followers the importance of belonging and pointing them to those they “need to be with.” You may need to take a moment to reread this last sentence or you may miss its significance. Often the most effective venue for disciple making is found amid a loving and supportive small group environment comprised of people who are committed to love and care for each other. Following Christ involves believing, but it also means belonging, and these two aspects must never be separated.

 As much as I enjoy gathering together for worship in a large community setting like worship, I recognize that some of the deepest spiritual truths I have learned have come within a small group setting where I was challenged, exhorted, encouraged, and yes even rebuked in the interest of disciple making.

 In the future you will hear more and more about the initiation and implementation of our small group ministry, and when you do, my hope will be that you will choose to become involved.

In closing, I remind you that while Christ intended for our relationship with Him to be personal, He never intended it to be private. We need each other. I hope each one of you will consider being part of a small group when the opportunity is presented in January.

Yours in faith and fellowship,

Pastor Tom

What 3 Senior Saints Taught Me About Ministry This Week

Dear Friends,

One of the most satisfying aspects of ministry is the opportunity to be around God’s children on a regular basis. On this past Tuesday I was blessed with a spiritual trifecta.

A personal visit and two phone calls left me with so much gratitude that I could hardly sleep that night.

I visited one of our senior saints-Ethel Halvorsen-who is in her 90’s- in a Rehabilitation Care Center in Wall. Esther used to come in every Tuesday during my first interim here at New Monmouth (yes, I was here before, and believe it or not they invited me to come back again), and she faithfully ran off audio tapes of the Sunday messages. Precise and detailed, she was a perfect fit for the position. 

This past Tuesday I walked into her room, and she was resting in bed while receiving oxygen. She was having some trouble breathing, but despite her oxygen challenge, she was in good spirits while wearing a smile on her face and sporting a twinkle in her eye. Hopefully her demeanor was an indication of her pleasure in seeing me. 

We had a wonderful time swapping personal stories, and then she changed the direction of our conversation and spoke to me about a therapy dog that had recently visited her, and so we wound up talking about our dog experiences. While I didn’t know she loved dogs the way I did, she told me about “Sockeye,” a Terrier that used to roam the rugs of her home. And then she surprised me by commenting on her aversion to dogs that had a habit of kissing their owners. We continued our conversation for a while and when I had prayed and was ready to say goodbye, something within caused me to awkwardly blurt out, “Ethel, I know you what you said about kissing dogs, but how do you feel about kissing pastors?” I was mortified as I listened to those words that just slipped from my mouth, and embarrassed by them I just stood there waiting and wondering how in the world she was going to respond to my ill-chosen question. While hugging comes naturally to me, I don’t normally go around asking people if they mind me kissing them, especially those in the hospital, so don’t worry if you ever see me slipping into your room at Riverview, kissing patients is not a part of my normal visitation protocol if you know what I mean. 

Ethel initially acted a little taken back by my question and then smiling at me she said yes, I would love a kiss, and so I bent over and kissed her on her cheek, and as I did I felt her arms tighten around my back as she hugged me in a kind of embrace that I don’t think I will ever forget. It was at that moment that I recognized that in loving her, even if doing it awkwardly, she was loving me back. As I walked out of that room, I couldn’t help but feel that she had made a significant difference in my life as I hoped I had made in hers. 

That evening I decided to call a couple of our past pastors just to let them know that I was thinking of them. I wasn’t prepared for the wonderful fellowship I would enjoy. Jonathan Bosse, who touched many lives in the years he was at New Monmouth and who always fostered’ jealousy’ within me when I would hear the stories of his legendary ability to walk into a room of 20 people and within minutes be able to recall their every name. During his pastorate with us in the 90’s, he touched many lives with his preaching gifts, and he raised up a significant number of young people who entered full time service as a result of his influence.  We shared information about our ministries and our families, and we agreed to not let so many years pass (it had been seven) since we last talked.

After talking with Jonathan, I felt the urge to call Pastor Bruce Seymour who served with us during the early part of this century and whose vision  and leadership were responsible for the erection of the Family Ministry Center. While I had previously thanked him in writing for the part he played in the construction of this magnificent ministry resource, I had never personally expressed my thanks to him. Bruce has been physically impacted by his struggle with Parkinson disease and has had to retire from his teaching position to take an administrative role within  his seminary. He had little idea of the magnitude of the ministry he left us, through the completion of the Family Ministry Center, and I was so happy to relate the impact of his leadership: Upward Basketball, Rhythm Gymnastics, Middletown Helps Its Own, Home School activities, Men’s Basketball, Fall Fest, Family Fellowship Hours, and Sandy Relief  to name a few of the programs that commemorate his legacy. I immediately could sense the pleasure he felt as I related how his vision and leadership had contributed to so many church outreach opportunities.

As I laid my head on the pillow that past Tuesday night, I could hardly contain my gratitude, as I thought to myself how blessed I am to “get” to do this kind of ministry without ever feeling I have “got” to do it,  and what a difference the two perspectives make.

Ethel, Jonathan, Bruce, thanks for all you have done to make all our lives richer, and fuller and for your service that has brought much joy to your Savior.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Pastor Tom

New Monmouth Musings: Thanksgiving Thoughts on Praying for Others

Dear Friends,

This morning with Thanksgiving in mind, I was pondering the topic of thankfulness. I turned to 2 Corinthians 1, verses 8-11 in particular where Paul describes his sufferings, which he says were so “utterly unbearable that he felt crushed to the point of despairing of life.”

And what caught my attention was in verse 11, where he states “You (Corinthians) also join in helping us by your prayers, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.”

I pondered that verse for several minutes, and not being exactly sure what to make of it, I went to one of my commentaries for help. It expressed the fact that Paul is thanking the Corinthians for their prayers that helped him and his friends through their difficult time of suffering. The answers to their prayers, he says provided an opportunity for the many who prayed to give thanks for the answers to their prayers. 

So whenever we face difficulties, the more open and honest we should be about sharing our prayer concerns with others, for the more people we ask to pray for us, the more people will enjoy the opportunity to rejoice and give thanks when their prayers are answered.

The Yiddish Proverb reminds us that “prayers go up, and blessings come down.”  So, let’s keep praying so that God keeps blessing.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Pastor Tom