Leadership Thoughts: Quotes I Shared with My Basketball Team Twenty-Five Years Ago

Dear Friends,

Twenty-five years ago, I had the privilege of becoming the first  school chaplain,  and first athletic director of Calvary Christian Academy in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

The school was born from a congregation of 16,000 where I was one of 22 pastors. 

From humble beginnings in 2000 when the school started  with 200 students, the school has now grown to become the largest Christian School in the country with an enrollment of almost 3000 students. 

From the school’s beginning when I coached our first basketball team of 8th graders who played on an outdoor court while the first gym was being constructed, the school has  excelled athletically winning a number of  state championships in baseball, basketball and track and field. In the last few years, our basketball team was ranked among the top five schools nationally among all public and private schools in the county. Now with three gyms, and a 7-million-dollar field house, the school’s enrollment continues to grow both athletically and academically.

In each of the last three years I have had the privilege of spending a week at the school visiting coaches and teachers, some who are still there while I was teaching and coaching.  I still marvel at the growth and development of the school, but the quality that impresses me the most about the school is their continued commitment to developing the spiritual and moral character of every student. 

As I reflected on my eight years as pastor, teacher, coach, chaplain and athletic director, I thought of some of the values I sought to instill in my teams and in my family of athletic coaches.

Yesterday I pulled out a book of quotes that I would often share and discuss with my players at the beginning of each and every practice. Yes, I worked hard to develop their basketball abilities, but more importantly I was fully committed, as are the schools' coaches today, to the development of their moral and spiritual character. 

As I thumbed through some of the quotes from that book, I thought a few of them might be helpful to you as you teach and coach your own children and grandchildren. When I recorded the sources of the quotes, I included them, but unfortunately, I didn't always write them down.

 

            Some of the Quotes from My Personal Notebook

“The best way to inspire change is to be the change you want to see.”

“Act the way you'd like to be, and soon you'll be the way you act.” 

 “Only the guy who isn't rowing has time to rock the boat.”

“The only thing that walks back from the grave and refuses to be buried is the character of a man”.

“Character consists of what you do on the 3rd and 4th tries.” Senator Dan Coats

“It is not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” Walt Disney

“Live in such a way that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.” Will Rogers.

“The secret of success is to start from scratch and keep on scratching.”

“You can't make another person feel important, if you secretly think he is a nobody”. 

“Place a ten on everyone's forehead.” 

“Treat people as the most important people in the world, and you will communicate that they are somebody to you.” 

“Consider it a wasted day when you have not learned something new or peered into the mystery of God's grace and wisdom.” William Barclay

“Pass credit while the sweat is still on their brow.”

“Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit”. Vince Lombardi

“To ignore evil is to be a partner in it.” Martin Luther King

“Character consists of what you do on the 3rd and 4th tries.” James Michener.

“Flatter me, and I may not believe you, criticize me and he may not like you,  ignore me, and I may not forgive you, but encourage me,  and I will never forget you.” 

“A clear conscience never fears midnight knocking.” Chinese proverb 

“Kind words are short and easy to speak, but their echoes are endless.”  Mother Teresa.

“Touch a person's heart before you ask them for their hand.”

“Believing in people before they prove themselves is the key to motivating people to reach their potential.”

“Don't be a tombstone encourager; encourage them now.”

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: The Two Greatest Obstacles to Sharing Our Faith

Dear Friends.

Two of the greatest obstacles to evangelism are fear and the absence of love.

Too often we are afraid to share the gospel because we fear we might offend the person. We are afraid of impacting our relationship. What if our friend not only rejects the gospel, but rejects us as well, and so out of fear we avoid the risk of speaking about Jesus.

The other reason is love. If our motive for sharing our faith is not based on a genuine love, the person will know it and may not be interested in hearing anything we have to say. This is the great danger of cold calling and street witnessing. If you don't have any prior relationship with the person to whom you are sharing your faith, the person will feel used, just an object who is simply another scalp for your spiritual belt.

Friendship evangelism provides a healthy context for your witnessing. If the person is your friend, and knows you care, he/she will be more willing to listen to what you have to share.

While fear is a great detriment to evangelism, I believe that lack of love is an even greater barrier to evangelism.

World famous magician  Penn Jillette possesses a unique perspective on evangelism.

Gillette, who proclaims to be a proud atheist, says he doesn't respect Christians who don't witness to their faith.

"If you believe that there's a heaven and hell and people could be going to hell and not getting eternal life or whatever, and you think that it's not really worth telling them this because it would make it socially awkward...How much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize? How much do you have to hate somebody to believe that everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?  I mean, If I believed beyond a shadow of a doubt that a truck was coming at you, and you didn't believe it-but that truck was bearing down on you- there's a certain point where I tackle you, and this is more important than that.” Before You Share Your Faith, 5 Ways to be Evangelism, Matt Smethurst, pp. 53-54.

Whether as believers we refuse to share our faith for fear of impacting a relationship, or because we really don’t love people enough to tell them how they can possess eternal life, we stand guilty before the One who commanded His disciples “to go into all the world and proclaim the gospel.”

May God forgive us when our lips are sealed, and our hearts remain frozen.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: For Those Serious about Serving Others

Dear Friends, 

It is true that leadership has more to do with service then status, for "humble work becomes holy work when it's done for God."

As part of our hospitality ministry when I served on staff at Calvary Chapel, Fort Lauderdale, the pastors would meet to pray before the services. We would pray something like this: "Lord help us have your eyes, ears, and heart that we might see, and hear, and feel as you see, hear, and feel and help us to be available for whatever ministry you might have in store for us this day." 

And so often, as we would go forth in the spirit of this prayer, God would surprise us by providing opportunities to minister to people in ways we had never anticipated. Whether praying with a person at the altar after service, helping someone who had lost some money in the soda machine, or walking with the visitor rather than directing them to the sanctuary or the nursery, we would discover that serving in such menial ways would often open the door for greater ministry. 

Saint John of the Cross, a 16th century mystic said it so well: "A Christian should always remember the value of his good works is not based on their number and excellence, (and I would add their outward significance) but on the love of God which prompts him to do these things. Little things become big things when they are done in the spirit of love."

When I think of people in the Bible who possessed servant's heart, I think of a little-known servant named Onesiphorus. Paul is in prison and his good friend Onesiphorus is searching for him. Paul writes, "May the Lord show mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, because he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains, On the contrary, when he was in Rome, he searched hard for me until he found me" (2 Timothy 1:16-18). 

As I read these verses, I could almost feel the beat of Onesiphorus's heart as he searched hard for his good friend.  Some translations use the words, "eagerly searched," which convey the idea of intensity and determination. He was not to be thwarted in his effort to find his beloved friend and prisoner, Paul.

I close with the words of D. L. Moody who wrote: "A good many are kept out of service for Christ because they are trying to do some great thing. Let us be willing to do little things. And let us remember that nothing is small in which God is the source."

So, grab your towel and basin and begin serving. It might not be washing feet, but instead it might be something as simple as holding a hand, shedding a tear, making a meal, or offering a listening ear. Show me just such a person, and I will show you a person with a servant's heart, and one who brings great joy to the Master.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. "If I cannot do great things for God, I can do small things in a great way." James Freeman Clarke

Leadership Thought: A Different Form of Grace from an Unexpected Source

Dear Friend.

What do you think of when you hear the word grace? Many people might think of those words you share around the table, a form of blessing for the meal.

Others might think of the grace that Jesus offers us, the grace that saves sinners like you and me.  

I think of first verse I learned as a believer. “It is by grace you have been saved through faith; it is not of yourselves, it is a gift of God, not because of works lest anyone should boast.” Eph. 2:8-9 

But table grace or saving grace are not the kind of grace of which I am thinking.

I am thinking of another kind of grace, the kind of grace that comes after a bad day, or a poor decision, or some regrettable action that has left us embarrassed and discouraged.  

It comes at just the right time, and it may appear in different forms and expressions- an encouraging phone call, a timely visit,   a loving arm around your shoulder-all which express you have a friend who really loves and cares about you.

However, it recently came to me in a different way. It came  in the form of a thoughtful message that showed up on my desk a few weeks ago.  It wasn’t just scribbled on a piece of paper, but it was carefully typed on a note card, and it came from my fifth-grade granddaughter whose words I will forever treasure.

“Dear Poppy

Thank you so much for the money and the card! You are the best grandpa ever and are so fun to be around! The card was so thoughtful, and every kid loves money so that was great too! Thanks so much!

Love

Reese”

Is there someone you know who might be encouraged by a note like that, a person who needs to hear some grace-filled words of love that they might never forget?

May God help us to always be grace filled Christians

 Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: What Will You and I Learn from Charlie Kirk's Death?

Dear Friends,

Those who witnessed the funeral of Charlie Kirk yesterday witnessed an event they will never forget'

If you watched it, you would recall the powerful and moving testimony of Charlie's wife, Erica, who shared those three powerful words "I forgive him."

Shortly after the service, I received the following test from a friend who also watched the service. He described Charlie this way: "He was a missionary with a noble spirit and a great, great purpose. He did not hate his opponents. He wanted the best for them. "President Trump said, before diverting from his transcript-" "That's where I disagreed with Charlie. I hate my opponent, and I don't want the best for them."

As I thought about those words I thought of a recent comment from a friend I know who was recently struggling with the actions of a family who had severely hurt her. She said to me "I can't help it, but I just feel like hating them for what they did to me."

In the final words of my friend who texted me, he asked. "What would Jesus say?"

We all know the answer. Jesus would say, as he did many times, we are to love our enemies, and we are. to  pray for them and we are to forgive them.

Now I agree that this is no easy task to forgive those we perceive to be our enemies, and that no one knows how they would respond in a similar situation as Erica did in responding in love to her enemy. 

But one thing I do know is that unless you have fully understood and experienced the love Jesus has for us, sinners that we are, a love that would take Him to the cross to die for those sins, he/she has no earthly power great enough to respond in love as Erica did-

Holding on to hate, resentment and bitterness will destroy you. It will eat away at your heart.

As it has been said, "Failing to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."

Unless you and I learn and live out this lesson of Christ's forgiveness, and unless our politicians on both of the aisle learn and live it, we will all be doomed to die of the same poison we drink.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom 

Leadership Thought: A Simple Reminder on Making Friends and Building Relationships

Dear Friends,

John Maxwell tells a wonderful story about making good impressions.

He shares how Jenny Jerome (Winston Churchill’s mother) glided through the loftiest social circles in Great Britain. Once, on consecutive nights, Ms. Jerome dined with England’s premier politicians: Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli and his chief rival, William Gladstone. When questioned about her impressions of the two men, Ms. Jerome made the following observation:

“When I left the dining room after sitting next to Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But when I sat next to Disraeli, I left feeling that I was the cleverest woman.”

Maxwell writes, “Perhaps you know leaders like Gladstone - confident individuals who exude with intelligence, and charisma. Whenever you’re around them, you cannot help but notice their charm… because they make every effort to parade their brilliance in front of you. However, I’ll wager that you’d prefer to follow someone like Disraeli, a leader who would rather draw out the best in you than strut his or her personal greatness.”

In building relationships, it is important to take the focus off yourself and focus it on others.

A while ago I was sitting in church next to a person who I noted was taking extensive notes throughout the message. I didn’t know her name, but after the service I introduced myself and told her how impressed I was with the notes she had been taking throughout the service. I affirmed her and asked when she began the habit of taking sermon notes in church. This led to a rather lengthy conversation and ultimately resulted in my making a new church friendship. Asking relevant questions of a person is an excellent way of engaging them and building a friendship.

The Thirty Second Rule is a good way to start building a new relationship. In the first 30 seconds of meeting someone we should immediately focus our attention on them and not ourselves. We should be looking for ways to make them feel important, remembering your goal is to be impressed, never impressive.

Try to think of something encouraging to say to them. You might compliment them by saying “You have a wonderful smile”, or “you seem to be so comfortable with children”, or I couldn’t help notice how helpful you were to one of my friends.”

I sometimes will imagine that the person I am talking with is wearing a large name tag that cries out "Please help me feel important."

 Someone else suggests putting your mother’s face on the person to whom you are talking  as a way of keeping your comments warm and encouraging.

During the close of the conversation, I sometimes will say to the person, “Do you know what I like about you,” and then specify something that impressed me about them.

The 30 Second Rule is no time for ‘phony baloney.’  You must always make sure your comments and compliments are  honest, genuine, and sincere.

Paul writes to the Corinthians, “We have spoken ‘honestly’ with you, and our hearts are open to you.” 2 Corinthians 6:11 NLB. This is a good reminder of the kind of speech that should mark our communication.

The 30 second rule may seem simple, but I can assure you it will improve your interaction with others.

As Mother Teresa, the Roman Catholic nun and missionary remarked, “Make sure that anyone who comes to you always leaves you happier and healthier.”

Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, shy or outgoing, that’s good advice for all of us to follow.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

                                             Adapted from a previous Leadership Thought

Leadership Thought: Please Read my "Mea Culpa" on Today's Leadership Thought Some of You Received This Morning.

Dear Friends, 

I am embarrassed. I acknowledge no one ever accused me of being  a perfectionist during the many years I have sent out  a daily Leadership Thought. With my dear wife Jean no longer around to be my proofreader and help address my limited computer skills, I sometimes produce messages that don't always look the same to those on the receiving end as they do to me on the sending end.

This morning was a good example. Every Wednesday I meet for breakfast with friends, and today one of them showed me a copy of the Leadership Thought I had just sent out to one of my three group lists. I was shocked by the formatting I viewed with different paragraphs presented in different font sizes.

I confess that my technical computer skills are very limited and while sometimes time and hurry are the culprits of my mistakes, I honestly promise you that I do try hard to insure grammar, spelling, punctuation and yes, formatting mistakes are kept to a minimum. 

In spite of all  this, sometimes the copy I send to each of my three different group lists may look different to you than the original copy I send. Sometimes those errors are due to carelessness, and sometimes haste, and sometimes my limited computer formatting skills. All of this is to say that whenever you receive a Leadership Thought that contains major errors, or unusual formatting, or several different copies of the same message I apologize. I am truly sorry, and I am embarrassed by my inadequacies.

Hopefully, I can continue to improve my overall communication skills and truly learn and practice that well known axiom: "Measure once, cut twice. Measure twice, cut once! 

Yes, I am a flawed work in progress, and for some of you who received today's Leadership Thought on being vulnerable, this is a good object lesson; it's my "mea culpa!”

In closing I promise I will continue to work hard on improving my computer communication skills.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. Not everyone received the flawed copy today