Leadership Thought: Lessons on Failure from Me and My Friends Jayant and Christophe

"The greatest failure in Your Life is to Be Continually Fearful You Will Make One." Elbert Hubbard 

Dear Friends,

I am good at failure. Don't misunderstand me, I don't like it when I fail, but each time I do, I hope I improve by learning from my failure  

Writing a daily Leadership Thought for these many years,  I have amassed more mistakes than I could ever imagine. I make frequent mistakes in spelling, grammar, alignment- you name it and I have it.

Those mistakes are embarrassing, like a mistake I made yesterday with one of my quotes. It was graciously brought to my attention by a friend who receives my Leadership Thoughts.

He kindly pointed out my mistake in the following grace-filled words written as only he could write   them.

"Good Morning Pastor, Tom, THANK YOU SO MUCH for these words of Wisdom and these Leadership Thoughts

This is wonderful and I always cherish these beautiful words and thoughts.

 Should line number 18 read as " Some people day (say) something and some people have something to say. ?

By the way last week, we had a Malachi Dad's graduation and 54 inmates, and their family members participated.”

I love my brother Jayant who faithfully spent time learning prison ministry with me. If you had seen him at the beginning of this ministry, you would have thought to yourself ‘he is never going to make it.’ By his own admission, he would frequently admit that there were many times he felt like a ministry failure and was ready to quit, and yet week after week he never gave up, and thank God he didn’t for today he  leads one of the largest prison ministries in the state of Texas.

I don’t think It was coincidence that yesterday a missionary friend, Christophe Savage, sent me the devotional below on failure. I hope it will bless you and my friend Jayant as much as it blessed me.

Embracing “Failure”

By Steve Backlund

Let’s reject the lie that says, “If something is hard to do for us, then we can’t do it.” If we fall for this deception, we are determining our future from our past. This faulty thinking is something we cannot take with us in the higher plans and purposes God has for us.  

The opposite of this lie and life-restricting mindset is this: I embrace failure as part of the process of learning to walk in higher levels of living. As I think about this, I remember a big “failure” of mine. In one of our books, we misspelled the word ‘Foreword’ by spelling it ‘FORWARD’. It was at the beginning of the book in a large font. When we edited the book, we didn’t notice this. We only discovered this after ordering a significant number of copies, and then someone came up to me, pointed it out, and said, “I am so sorry.” Upon hearing this, I had a momentary, “Oh no!”, but I ultimately thought, “I am learning to walk in book writing, so I welcome mistakes like this as part of the process.” We were taking steps forward.

To fail is “to fall short of success or achievement in something expected, attempted, desired, or approved.” To succeed is to accomplish what is intended or attempted. We certainly enjoy success more than failure, but long-term successful people learn to like many of the failures they experience because they know, like babies, they must grow into walking in their potential.

What would happen if a baby determined its future from its past? What if they said, “I’ve never walked before, so I am not a walker. And when I tried to walk, it was a struggle, so this proves I do not have the gift of walking. Because if I had the gift of walking, it would not be so difficult to learn to walk.” This sounds ridiculous, but this is how I thought in many different areas of my life. 

Those who succeed most also seem to fail most. Toddlers fall down much more, at first, than they take forward steps in their attempt to be able to walk. Even though this is true, they do not quit or create an identity belief from their apparent failure in walking. They understand they cannot get their identity from their past; they get it from their parents. “I am made in their image. I AM a walker, and I will walk.”

Why do successful people like to fail? It is because they see the manifestation of their flaws as evidence that they are walking in greater things. After all, if a toddler falls down, it means they were standing (because you cannot fall unless you were standing). 

Today, you are breaking free from the perfectionistic mindset, which does not embrace seeming failure as a natural part of growth. 

Yours in Faith and Friendship

Tom

Leadership Thought: An Exercise for Leadership Discussion and Development

Dear Friends,

Several months ago I shared some leadership quotes that I used with my basketball team while I was coaching at Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Over the years I have collected many such leadership quotations, a few of which I share below. Most of these I have sought to commit to memory with the hope that they might consciously or unconsciously impact and influence my leadership. 

I would suggest that leaders meet with their team members and personally discuss them. Participants might select three of their favorites and then express why they picked them. Mutual sharing of  these leadership principles can result in valuable discussions as participants share how they might impact their own personal leadership styles.

Participants should be reminded that wisdom is only wisdom if you use it. 

1. Relationships are forged, not formed. They require time and common experience.

2. If you want to go up, there must be things you must be willing to give up.

3. Everyone wants to feel that he counts for something and is important to someone. Invariably, people will give their love, respect, and attention to the person who fills that need.

4. What happens in you is more important than what happens to you.

5. We can do anything, but we can't do everything. 

6. You cannot push anyone up the ladder unless he is willing to climb himself.

7. Pass credit when the sweat is still on the brow.

8. The best preparation for good work tomorrow is to do good work today.

9. Example is not the main thing in influencing others; it's the only thing.

10. When opportunity comes: it's too late to prepare.

11. Brains are like hearts; They go where they are appreciated.

12. Never take a journey alone; always take someone with you.

13. People do what gets praised.

14. Catch people doing something good and praise them.

15. Treat a man as he appears to be and you will make him worse; But treat a man as if he is already what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be.

16. Everyone wants progress, but they don't want change.

17. Do the most important thing first each day, and you will never have an unproductive day.

18. Some people say something and some people have something to say. 

19. Truth presented as law hardens hearts, but truth presented with grace changes hearts.

20. The heart of the problem is a problem of the heart.

Unfortunately, I did not retain the source of these quotes when recording them.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: How to Become a Trustworthy Person

Dear Friends,

The explorer named Ernest Shackleton set out with 27 men on his crew to cross Antarctica, but before they got very far, their ship that was called Endurance, was trapped in ice and for 10 months they drifted on the frozen seas.   Eventually the ice crushed the ship, and that ship would sink. The men were stranded on shifting ice in subzero temperatures with no rescue in sight for nearly two years.

But here's what's remarkable. Shackleton didn't lose a single man. Not even one. Why? Because his crew trusted him. He ate the same rations they did. He took the worst shifts, and he lived the same way his crew did. When morale was the lowest, he never asked his men to do something that he wasn't willing to do himself. The men didn't follow Shackleton because of his  title, but because of his faithful testimony, one which was built on the foundation of trust. People don’t follow leaders because of a title. They follow a leader because of trust.  And that is always earned in  small and little increments performed day after day.  

Trust develops the way you build your house, one brick at a time. Every time you do something that is honest, every time you do what you say you are going to do, or show up on time, or fulfill a commitment, you  put another brick in the house that will eventually become your home

Being trustworthy is a tremendous responsibility, and one that must constantly be guarded, for it can be lost in a moment by some small failure.

Trust develops over time and building it is one of the most valuable resources a leader can possess.

When someone approaches you to be a part of your team there are three things they will have in mind. “Can you help me?” Will you care for me?” And most importantly, “Can I trust you?” Trustworthiness will become one of a leader's most important assets.

“Many people claim to be loyal, but it is hard to find a trustworthy person.” (Proverbs 20:6)

Jesus taught “That whoever can be trusted with very little can be trusted with much" (Luke 16::10). Today, people want to serve God in obvious and showy ways. But God says you build your trust by doing little, even insignificant things, and doing them faithfully again and again. You do them even when no one is watching you. And God reminds us, "If you are faithful in doing those little things, He will give you greater and greater responsibility."

Do you want people to trust you? You can build that trust by always being  honest, sincere, faithful and reliable.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

 P.S. "The best way you can find out if you can trust a person is to trust him" Ernest Hemingway 

Leadership Thought: What Do You Want Carved on Your Tombstone?

Dear Friends,

“The only thing that walks back with the mourners from the grave and refuses to be buried is the legacy of a man." I don’t know who said this, but years ago I memorized it as a continual reminder that when I leave this earth, I want to leave something of value behind that will outlive me.

Steve Saint, the martyred missionary to the Auca Indians writes, “Your story is the greatest legacy that you will leave to your friends. It’s the longest-lasting legacy you will leave to your heirs.”

I have been thinking a lot more about legacy of late as I watch the sand in my hourglass emptying fast, and when that final grain has passed, what will remain will only be the memory of what I was.

It has been said the power of a person’s life is in the stories they leave behind. What are the stories people will remember when they talk about you? What are the values they extoll and speak about at your funeral?

I think of Bill Roberts, a member of our church who died a number of years ago. I will always remember the terrific bear hug he would give everyone who entered the church. His love for people still permeates through our family of faith.

Throughout our lives other people have shaped and influenced us. We are different because of these people. How will those people be different spirally because they have been around us?

What kind of spiritual impact will you leave behind that will continue to live on in the lives of your children and your grandchildren after you are gone?

“Legacy is not leaving something for people. It’s leaving something in people.” says Peter Strople

John Maxwell talks about a trip that he once took to visit Mother Teresa’s tomb. He says that when he got there, he found out that the room where the tomb was located was being used for a special ceremony.

Maxwell writes, “We could see a group of about 40 to 50 nuns seated, all dressed in a familiar habit that Mother Teresa had worn.”

“What’s going on in there,” I asked a nun passing by.

“She smiled.”

 “Today we are taking 45 new members into our order.” she said. And then she hurried away into another part of the building.

“Mother Teresa was gone, but her legacy was continuing. She had made an impact on the world, and she had developed leaders who were carrying on her vision.”

Whether it’s Bill Roberts or Mother Teresa, every one of us has a mission in life, and that is to make our world a better place in which to live. And we can do that by the spiritual footprints we leave behind, as we continue follow in the footsteps of Jesus.

Your commitment to live for Jesus, and your unwillingness to compromise His values will leave a mark on the hearts of those you leave behind.

Someday people will summarize your life in a single sentence. What would you want that sentence to be?

Why not take a moment to write out that sentence and then commit to doing whatever you can to make it a reality in your life.

A godly legacy is a legacy that lasts.

In closing, I remind you that “A righteous man will be remembered forever.” (Ps 112:6 NIV).

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. "Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing."

Leadership Thought: Sharing the Bad News Before Sharing the Good News

Dear Friend,

The late pastor and author  Tim Keller writes: "We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared to believe, yet at the same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope."

Sharing the gospel with people who fail to accept their flawed and sinful nature is often a challenge. Such people feel little need for a Savior because they perceive themselves to be basically good. They are managing their lives just fine on their own, and they have no need for any outside help.

Such people find it hard to be open, honest, and vulnerable because for them such admission is  a sign of weakness, and acknowledging weakness or admitting need is unacceptable.

For them the gospel is bad news because it reminds them of who they really are-flawed and floundering sinners in need of a Savior.

To witness to them often makes them angry and puts them on the defensive. "Who are you to suggest I might need  someone or something to change my life?". 

Too often I have made the mistake of pressuring persons like this to make a decision when the soil of their heart was still hard and they were not yet ready to receive the Savior, and in doing so  I only made it harder for the next person who would witness to them.

In such cases, we  need to be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit and step back and trust that the seed of faith will be planted by someone else at some distant time and place.

We must remember the words of Paul who writes, "The Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted a seed, Apollos watered it, But God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor, for we are God's fellow workers; You are God's field." 1 Corinthians. 3. 2-9.

Below is a message by Jim Denison  reminding us that the gospel is bad news before it ever becomes good news. I hope it will be a helpful reminder to each of us as we share the gospel with others.

 

“The Gospel is Bad News Before it is Good News by Dr. Jim Denison

 Our problem with love is its source: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick” (Jeremiah 17:9). Jesus described our “heart condition” this way: “from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness” (Mark 7:21–22).

 As a result, we need a spiritual heart transplant. We need the “new heart” only God can give us (Ezekiel 36:26) when we are “born again” as his children through faith in his Son (John 1:12; 3:3). Frederick Buechner said of this reality:

The gospel is bad news before it is good news. It is the news that man is a sinner, to use the old word, that he is evil in the imagination of his heart, that when he looks in the mirror all in a lather what he sees is at least eight parts chicken, phony, slob. That is the tragedy. But it is also the news that he is loved anyway, cherished, forgiven, bleeding to be sure, but also bled for. That is the comedy.

According to Tim Keller, “The gospel is this: we are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.”

 Here’s the catch: We must experience the risen Lord Jesus personally to experience the transformation he can make in our lives. He alone can forgive our sins, save our souls, transform our character, and manifest himself in and through us.

 “Love wins” when it is his love. 

 God’s word assures us: “The Lᴏʀᴅ your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs” (Zephaniah 3:17 NLT). Commenting on this promise, First15, our devotional ministry, quotes Brennan Manning:

 “My deepest awareness of myself is that I am deeply loved by Jesus Christ and I have done nothing to earn it or deserve it.”

Will you make his “awareness” yours today?”

Quote for the day:

“We should be astonished at the goodness of God, stunned that he should bother to call us by name, our mouths wide open at his love, bewildered that at this very moment we are standing on holy ground.” —Brennan Manning

Leadership Thought: What Will You Do to Remember This Special Day?

Dear Friends.

Today is Veterans Day. We celebrate this special day every November 11^th.

It is different from Memorial Day in that today we celebrate anyone who has served or is serving in the armed forces as opposed to Memorial Day when we reflect and remember those who have lost their lives in the  service of our nation.

It seems to me that with each passing year these two holidays lose more and more of their significance, and this is unfortunate as both days are important reasons to stop and  celebrate.

As a child I grew up going to Veteran’s Day and Memorial Day parades. It was Roy Rogers who said, “We can’t all be heroes; someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by,” and I am grateful that I have done my share of clapping.

While I never served in the military, I have great respect for those who have. My dad was a colonel in the army and my brother-in-law was a career Marine, and I have a number of close friends who have served our country in different branches of the military, and I seldom waste an opportunity to express my gratitude to them for their service.

Today whenever I see someone wearing something that identifies them as having served our country, I am quick to say thanks. These men and women must never be forgotten, and our expression of appreciation is an important way of affirming them and the contribution they have made in protecting our freedom.

As a history teacher for several years, I always  showed my classes the first twenty minutes of “Saving Private Ryan” to help impress upon them the significant sacrifice made by those who have fought to preserve our freedom.

I love to fly Old Glory, so much that I have flags flying in the front and the back of my cottage, and I plan on flying a third on a flagpole I hope to install next year.

It was always a special Sunday for me to stand in the pulpit and honor those who are serving or who have served by asking them to stand and be recognized and then to  be able to personally thank and pray for them.

No, I am not some crazed super patriot, but I am extremely proud and grateful for our country and for those who have served and who continue to serve to help preserve our freedoms, and I want to do whatever  I can to insure their contributions are never forgotten.

As we celebrate this today, let me suggest a few ways you might keep this day’s spirit alive.

1.Fly a flag, and if you don’t have one, go and purchase one and proudly and conspicuously display it .

2.Write, e-mail or call and thank someone you know who has or is serving in the military. Let them know that their service is or was appreciated and not forgotten. I try to do this on either Memorial Day or Veteran’s Day, and it is a simple way to say thanks.

3.Express your appreciation to those you see who are wearing something that indicates they have served-a simple “Thank you for serving,” will not only be appreciated, but many times will often lead to an interesting conversation.

4. Donate your time and resources to military endeavors and support those organizations involved in highlighting military causes. I have friends in a former church who recently traveled to Washington to clean the walls of the Viet Nam War Memorial. If you are unsure what you can do, call your local American Legion for suggestions on how you can help.

5. Find out where parades are being held and show up and support them.

6. Take a moment to pray and give thanks for those you know who have served or who are presently serving our nation in some branch of the military.

And in closing may you always remember “America without soldiers would be like God without His angels.” Claudia Pemberton.

Yours faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: The Four Words Every Team Needs to Hear from Its Leader

Dear Friends,

Those who receive my daily Leadership Thoughts know how much I appreciate the wisdom of author and teacher John Maxwell. Next to the Bible, there is no one who has so impacted and influenced my life as he has. Through his books, he has now written over 100 of them and his online teaching, John, continues to be my favorite mentor.

I frequently transcribe his messages,  hopefully extracting leadership lessons that will improve my own personal leadership.

John is also a pastor who frequently preaches in his home church in West Palm Beach, Florida, and I transcribed this recent message on "Becoming a Transformational Leader." It was one of the most memorable messages I have heard  on the subject of Christ minded leadership, and  I would like to share a part of his message with you. 

Much of what I  share will be John's own words, and I trust that his words will be as transformative for you as they were for me.

One of the greatest mistakes leaders make is assuming the team is completely on board with their leadership. He refers to this as the "assumption mess up." which is the gap between what a leader assumes to be true and what is really true,

As the late businessman and writer Max De Pree comments "the responsibility of a leader is "to define reality." Often times leaders think they know the mind and heart of their workers, and this is one of a leader's greatest "mess-ups."   Leaders mistakenly  think they know how their people feel about them and their leadership when in reality this is seldom true.

Maxwell mentions a large survey conducted among  leaders on strengthening team leadership. The majority of leaders felt that the way to improve one's leadership is by making better use of technology and finances. However, workers  responded that leadership improvement best  comes with greater development of the leaders' "emotional intelligence" -by answering such  questions as  "where are you taking me," and "how are you treating me."  Consciously or unconsciously, workers want to know if they are truly valued, and if they can trust their leader to help them and care for them.

Maxwell states that leadership does not depend on popularity polls, but on respect that is earned on difficult ground.  Workers today are looking for leaders who value them, inspire them and empower them. When people are hired, they are hired by the company, but when they leave, they most often leave the leader and not the company. The late great basketball coach John Wooden reminds us that "it's wonderful when the coach believes in his players, but it is a greater thing when the players  believe in the coach.” If a worker doesn't feel loved and valued, inspired and empowered, he/she will soon be looking for a  leader who will provide these qualities. 

Maya Angelou is right when she states that "People will forget what you said, but they will never forget how they made you feel." 

Maxwell states there are four important words that every leader needs to continually express to his team if he wants them to feel valued, and they are: "You matter to me.'". Maxwell states, "I put a 10 on the forehead of every worker, and I tell them that the only way that the 10 can ever be removed is if they remove it themselves."

Yes, it is a wonderful thing when the worker believes in their leader, but it is even more wonderful when the leader believes in his people. And how does a leader show he believes in his people? The leader does so by constantly showing appreciation for those working for him. Maxwell says "when you have shown appreciation to the worker, then double it.”

Good words to remember from the lips of a leader who knows a lot about leadership. To be continued. 

Yours in faith and friendship

Tom