Wednesday, November 6, 2024

Leadership Thought: Thoughts on the Results of the Election

Dear Friends,

It’s 3:00 AM, and all last night and this morning I stayed up taking a  break from my self-motivated political news moratorium to watch the results of the election.

Although I had chosen not to watch political news for the last month and a half, it didn’t mean that I was not interested or concerned about the results of the election. I simply understood that all the political rhetoric and candidate bashing was raising my levels of anxiety and taking control of my life.

Yesterday in my Leadership Thought I exhorted Christians to tear down the political walls and help build bridges with those who may disagree with our political positions. I hope we will all strive to do that.

Whether you are a Democrat and disappointed with the election results, or a Republican who is now reveling in the outcome, we need to put aside our differences and come together to work to unify our nation.

We need to pray that President Trump will recognize the need to be gracious and charitable in addressing those who opposed him, and that he will take the lead in demonstrating a reconciling spirit toward those who were who hurt by the election results. As Christians, I encourage you to make that same prayer for yourself. May Christ lead you to be a solution to the division in our country rather than be an obstacle to that unity.

Unity is not uniformity. It does not mean that we will all agree on every issue, but it does mean that we will consciously use our different gifts and abilities to complement one another, rather than conflicting with one another

We may not always agree on every issue, but it’s important to recognize that there is a big difference between unity and uniformity. We can share a unity of spirit without necessarily always enjoying a uniformity of thought, expression, or opinion. We may not always agree with one another over an issue, but we must never allow our differences to divide and destroy our relationships or fracture our fellowship.

I love the words of the 17th  century German theologian, Rupertus Mendentius, who wrote, “In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; and in all things, charity.”

That would be a good motto to hang on our bathroom mirror to encourage us to bathe every difference or disagreement in the light of this principle.  

Unity is the hallmark of Christian love. It was a great concern of Christ before He went back to Heaven. Thus He prayed for all his disciples, and for all of us, that we might be one,  just as He (Christ) was one with the Father: “I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them, and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity” (John. 17: 22-23).

This was Jesus’s prayer, and it ought to be ours as well. Let us glorify God through our unity, and let the world be amazed as they look into the windows of our schools, churches, businesses, homes, and marvel, saying, “See, how they love one another.”

Yours in faith,

Tom

Tuesday, November 5, 2024

Leadership Thought: It’s Election Day and How Will You Act Tomorrow?

Dear Friends

By now, saying that America is divided has become a cliche. But it's true. And it's something that seems to touch almost everybody in some way. According to the Pew Research Center, for example, these divisions even affect who people say they're willing to date or befriend. And the research says such divisions have only widened in recent years. (taken from the internet)

These words are not surprising to any of us except those who may have been sleeping under a rock.

Regardless of who wins the election, there will be a need to move forward, and I hope that believers will be in the forefront of championing peace and reconciliation.

Paul reminds us that “love is patient and kind" (1 Corinthians, 13: 4). He exhorts the Lord’s servant… “to be kind to everyone.” (Timothy. 2: 24.)  And in writing to the Ephesians, he encourages God’s servants to be, “kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave you” (Ephesians, 4: 32).

Yes, “if it is to be. It’s up to me,” and you, and you, and you…….

We know who is in control of our nation and it is not the Republicans or Democrats, but it is our sovereign Lord who rules and reigns this universe.

Whoever wins the elections, as Christians, let’s work to tear down walls and build bridges. Let’s reach out to one another in love regardless of our political views.

If we fight for our beliefs, let us use the weapon of love for that is the only weapon that will bring about reconciliation, and oh how we need that in today’s hate filled world.

In closing I remind you of a simple yet practical interpretation of the kind of love the world is looking for. It’s called kindness and as described by author and teacher Chuck Swindoll’s sister, it simply means “Be nice to one another, just be nice. Say nice things to one another.”

Simple words, so trite, but oh so true.

Yours faith and friendship,

Tom

Monday, November 4, 2024

Leadership Thought: A Lesson on Redemptive Suffering from Last Night’s Life Group

Dear Friends,

It was a heavy Bible Study last night as 10 of us gathered around a kitchen table for our weekly Life Group Bible Study. We had been grappling with the death of a well-loved former member of our church who suddenly passed away from a heart attack, a family going through the divorce of a child, the death of an estranged daughter from her family, and this was only a part of some of the stories that were shared.

Midway through our study and overcome by some of these painful  experiences shared by those in our group, we suddenly ceased our  bible study and commenced a time of prayer for all of those difficult situations that so many of us  were going through.

This morning as I reflected on our emotional time together last night, I recalled an article I had recently read and saved from just a week ago. It was written by Pastor Rick Warren on the value of redemptive suffering, and I share it with you. Rick writes,

“When you’re going through pain, you can choose to focus on yourself or on other people. When you choose to focus on serving other hurting people, that’s called redemptive suffering. It is the highest and best use of your pain.”

“No matter what pain you’ve gone through, Jesus wants to redeem your suffering. He doesn’t want it to be wasted! He wants to use it to help other people when they are in pain.” 

“[God] comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ” (2 Corinthians 1:4-5 NLT).” 

“Who’s better qualified to help a struggling veteran than somebody who’s been a struggling veteran? Who’s better qualified to help someone recovering from a prescription drug addiction than somebody who has recovered from a prescription drug addiction? Who could better help someone who is suffering from a chronic illness than someone who has also suffered in the same way?”

“Your greatest ministry will come out of your deepest pain. If you’ll be honest with God, others, and yourself about whatever struggle you’ve faced, then that struggle will become your ministry.”

“Sharing your strengths doesn’t make you feel any closer to someone. But when you share the experiences that have led you to surrender to God and rely on his strength, then you’ll be connected to others more deeply than you can imagine. Why? Because when you—as a broken person—share with other broken people how God has restored you, you’re not just sharing something you have in common. You’re sharing hope that other people can also experience redemption through Jesus Christ.”

“Sharing your pain helps you and the people around you to grow in Christ. Using your pain to serve others is a form of ministry.”

“Don’t waste your pain. Let God use it for your greatest ministry.

I hope as you and I walk through our difficult times, we will remember Rick’s words knowing that, (“our greatest ministry will come out of our deepest pain)” not because it makes our suffering any easier, but because we recognize that God can use our painful experiences to bless and comfort others.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: A Song That Changed My Heart and My Understanding of Gratitude

Dear Friends,

I first heard the song for the first time at a little country church in Smithville, N.Y., a few short miles from where our summer home  is located in Henderson Harbor, N.Y.

It was the first summer following my wife Jean’s passing, and I was pretty fragile emotionally.

I still recall how the words and how the music spoke to my heart as I sang it as loud as I could as if to convince me that even in the midst of the pain of my loss, I would still choose to be grateful.

And now whenever I hear that song as I did this past Sunday, I am filled with the same emotion I felt that summer of 2023.

One of my good friends plays on the worship team at a local church, and he invited me to worship there as he often does when he is playing. He knew my history, and he recognized I would be touched by the music, and he was right.

As we stood for the first song, and I saw those words flashed on the screen, I suddenly melted as I realized we were singing “Gratitude.”

No matter how many times I play this song at home, and I play it often, I find myself  overcome with emotion and this time was no different.

As the tears fell, and with hands lifted high in praise and worship,  I sang as loud as I could until, overcome with emotion, I had to stop for a moment to wipe away my tears and regain my composure.

I am no singer, but after the service two women in front of me turned and thanked me, expressing how much they appreciated hearing a man sing with such enthusiasm. That was a first for me, for those who know me well recognize I would be one of the last people asked to sing in a choir.

“All my words fall short. I got nothing new. How could I express all my gratitude?”

“I could sing these songs, as I often do, but every song must end, and You never do.”

“So, I throw up my hands and praise you again and again. Cause all that I have is a hallelujah, hallelujah.”

 “And I know it’s not much, but I have nothing else fit for a King except for a heart singing hallelujah, hallelujah.”

“I’ve got one response. I’ve got just one move. With my arm outstretched, I will worship you.”

And then when the chorus comes, I shout out at the top of my voice

“So come on, my soul. Oh, don’t you get shy on me, lift up your song ‘cause’ you’ve got a lion inside of those lungs. Get up and praise the Lord.”

And as I sing those words, I am reminded that within me exists the powerful roaring strength of a lion which enables me to express my deepest praise and thanks to God even when my words might fall short.

In a world Filled with such division, it’s good to be reminded that we still have so many things for which to be grateful.

 The gift of gratitude extends beyond ourselves.

Colossians  3:14-15, the apostle Paul writes to the church: “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you are called in one body. And be thankful… and whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

Many of us have been the recipients  of different  expressions of kindness and often times those acts may go unnoticed or unacknowledged.

I would encourage you to take time today to thank those who share those gifts of kindness, no matter how small those acts may be.

But don’t only be content with being thankful when you are on the receiving end.

Be sure and take the initiative to write or tell one person each day why you are thankful for them. Maybe it’s a parent, a child, a coworker, a pastor, a stranger or your spouse remembering that sometimes it’s the people who are closest to us who need to hear it the most.

And by the way, did you know that research has shown that gratitude improves your mood and physical health? But beyond this gratitude is a wonderful way to express our love and worship to our Heavenly Father.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

www.youtube.com › watchGratitude - Brandon Lake - Lyric Video - YouTube

Wednesday, October 30, 2024

Leadership Thought: A Follow Up to What I've Learned on My Journey Through Grief Since the Loss of My Best Friend, Jean

Dear Friends.

Last night at our Grief Share meeting, several of us expressed experiencing the pain of being with friends who were reluctant to acknowledge our loss, let alone talk about it. There were no, “How are you feeling,” or “What can I do for you,” but simply silence when it came to the discussion of our loss.

I remember the many times I wanted to talk about Jean, times when I was craving the thought of having someone call me or sit with me and listen to me pour out the pain in my heart.

Unfortunately, most people today are so uncomfortable discussing death that they   ignore and avoid talking about it.

At our meeting, some of us shared how our friends acted like nothing had changed in our life, when all the while we were feeling like our world had totally collapsed around us.

I remember so wanting some of my friends to ask me how I was doing or feeling, or to give me a chance to share how much I missed my precious wife, but no one seemed to understand that more than anything the one who is grieving longs to talk about his/her feelings for their loved one.

My heart broke as I heard one of our members share how she had been with her best friends for lunch, and they talked about everything except the very thing she had hoped they would talk about: “How are you feeling and doing?”

Unfortunately, most things in life that are best learned are learned outside the classroom. Who would want to go up in a plane with a pilot who had completed reading a manual on flying but never actually had flown a plane. The same is true for those who have gone through the experience of grief. You can read all about how to handle grief, but until you have experienced its devastating consequences, I doubt you can fully understand or appreciate its impact.

Let me acknowledge I am no expert on the subject, but I am learning a lot about it as I walk my own personal grief journey, and what I have learned is based more on my own personal experience and my conversations with others than on anything I have learned in reading about it. 

In learning about grief, I suspect personal experience may be the best teacher 

I know everyone is different and not everyone will experience grief in the same way, but there are some general guidelines that are important to keep in mind when personally dealing with someone who is going through the pain of loss.

1. You can't rush it. Everyone's timetable will be different, so don't be surprised if it takes some people longer than others to work through it. Be patient with those going through it and let them go through it at their own pace. Grief is one thing you can't hurry.

2. It is helpful to have caring and understanding people around as you go through it. One of the most helpful things for me has been having friends in the church stop by or regularly call to check in to see how I am doing. Knowing that someone loves and cares for you and is praying for you has been invaluable to me as I work through my sadness. One of the reasons I travel to Florida is to be with friends and family who I know will be there to support and encourage me. The constant consistent concern of those who care about you can help immeasurably as one goes through their time of grieving.

3. Be present with the one who grieves. As my family and I were together with Jean during the last two weeks of her life, we were fortunate to have several friends who were constantly present with us. Often, they would say nothing, but their presence was comforting and reassuring. Sometimes as the popular song says, "You say it best when you say nothing at all." Thanks Teddie, Dan, Harriett and others whose presence supported me and our family through the difficult time of our grieving. 

4.  Be a good listener. Allow the griever to share his/her pain and then communicate you are happy to listen to them without judgement and without an agenda. This is not the time to share unsolicited advice on what they should do or how they should feel. No one wants to hear sermons when they are grieving. Don't say you know how they are feeling or what they are experiencing for you don't.

5. Be proactive. Often those grieving are reluctant to ask for help or express their needs. Look for little, practical things you can do to help-making calls, tidying up the room, providing meals, cleaning out close closets or buying groceries-are all helpful ways to relieve the one who is grieving.

6. Encourage the one grieving to talk about the person they have lost. It may feel uncomfortable to do so, but the griever often finds it helpful to share experiences and memories of the one who has passed. 

7. Stay connected. Grievers often receive a lot of support for the first few months after a loss, but it is essential that you stay connected, and that you check in with them for months down the road. Long-term care is important for the one who is grieving and knowing that there are people who will continue to support and care for them is an important part of the recovery process.

8. Assure the one grieving that it is alright and normal to cry and express their emotions. I find myself susceptible to sudden and unexpected bouts of grief when I hear a song or some personal memory comes flooding into my mind triggering my emotions, and I  break down and start crying uncontrollably. At such times it is important to assure the griever you are comfortable in the presence of their tears. 

Good Grief, by Granger Westberg, is a short but classic book on grief that I would recommend to anyone wanting to know more about the subject of grief. Granger writes "One of the great faults of intellectual Protestantism is that it has tended to stifle emotion. The Sunday services have more resembled a lecture series than a worship experience. We must not and need not apologize for emotions in our religious experience, nor need we apologize for it in our grief. (pp. 22-23)

I know who my close friends are. They are the ones I can cry with and not be embarrassed or feel uncomfortable doing so.

While in Florida I visited a friend who had recently lost her husband after a three-year battle with brain cancer. She sent me the following quote: "Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It is all the love you want to give but cannot. All the unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go."   

Hopefully those of us who have the opportunity to deal with those who grieve can help our grieving friends find a place for their love to go.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Tuesday, October 29, 2024

Leadership Thought: Good Leaders Possess the Ability to Laugh at Themselves.

Dear Friends,

Those who know me know that I enjoy laughter. I think laughter is a very important part of leadership, and that one of a leader’s responsibilities is to create an environment where laughter and joy are always present realities in the workplace.

Great leaders have the ability to laugh at themselves. One day Abraham Lincoln was giving a speech when a heckler kept repeatedly  interrupting him shouting, “Lincoln you are two faced.” Finally, Lincoln stopped his message and turned to his critic and replied. “Sir, if I am two faced, do you think I would still be wearing the face I have?”

Oswald Sanders, author of Spiritual Leadership, writes about the importance of humor. He quotes a brief comment by the late German theologian and preacher Helmet Thielecke who asks, “Should we not see that lines of laughter about the eyes are just as just as much a mark of faith as are the lines of care and seriousness? Is it only earnestness that is baptized? Is laughter pagan?... a church is in a bad way when it banishes laughter from its sanctuary and leaves It to the cabaret, nightclub, and the toastmasters. Spiritual Leadership, Oswald Sanders, P. 68.

His comments made me think of a message given by the late North Carolina State basketball coach, Jimmy Valvano in 1993 shortly before his death.

Coach Valvano was one of the premier college basketball coaches of his time who was sadly struck down by cancer during the prime of his coaching career. He loved life, and he loved to make people laugh.

Coach Valvano gave a famous speech at a time when his body was filled with tumors, and he was so weak that he had to be helped to the podium by his good friend and colleague, Dick Vitale.

His remarks were moving and there was hardly a dry eye in the audience. To this day I can summarize his simple but powerful message. He taught that there are three things that everyone should do each day: “laugh, think, and cry.”

It was his first point that especially captured my attention. Every day we should take time to laugh.

All this made me think of what Duffy Daugherty, a colorful Michigan State football coach of years past once said. He remarked that “Everyone needed three bones to journey successfully through life: a wishbone, to dream on… a backbone, for strength and courage to get through the tough times… and a funny bone, to laugh at life. along the way.”  (Day by Day, Chuck Swindoll, P. 37)

Not bad advice. How important laughter is to the human soul. The scripture put it this way: “A cheerful heart is  good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs. 17: 22.)

One of the qualities that endears others to us is our ability to laugh and to make others laugh. How important it is not to be afraid to laugh at ourselves, or in a loving way to  help others to be comfortable in laughing at themselves. The famous preacher Charles Spurgeon really loved life. His favorite sound, it was said, was laughter, and he would frequently lean  back in the pulpit and roar over something that struck him funny. His laughter was a winsome aspect of his personality.

One of my favorite speakers is Tony Campolo, a speaker, pastor and author who taught for many years at Eastern College in Philadelphia Pa.

He shares the following story in his book The Kingdom of God Is a Party. He writes, “One day I got on an elevator in the World Trade Center in New York City. It was one of those express elevators that goes fifty floors without making a stop. The elevator was filled with briefcase- bearing, somber businessmen on their way to heavy meetings.”

“As I got on the elevator, a feeling of fun ran through me. And, instead of turning and facing the door, as we all are socialized to do, I just stood there facing the people. When the elevator doors closed, I smiled coyly and announced, ‘we’re going to be traveling together for quite a while, you know.’ And then, I added, 'what do you say we all sing?’”

“The reaction was wonderful. They did! You should have been there as dozens or so businessmen threw aside their seriousness and joined in a ringing rendition of “You Are My Sunshine.”

“By the time the elevator got to the 50th floor, we were all laughing”. 

Being a Christian on that elevator was turning some men made numb by the affairs of the world, into party animals .” The Kingdom of God is a Party, P.P. 118-119.

It seems to me that if the Bible can use such words as celebrate, rejoice, and Hallelujah, then our lives should exude the same biblical vitality.

So, let’s ‘party hearty’ you party animals for if the Kingdom of God is a party, I don’t want to miss the fun.

Yours in faith and friendship

Tom.

Monday, October 28, 2024

Leadership Thought: A Misplaced Hope for All Those Concerned  about the Outcome of the Election.

Dear Friends,

Six weeks ago, I decided to stop flipping channels to watch and listen to the latest perspectives on the political campaign.

For the first time in my life, I purposely chose to become apolitical.

I recognized I was spending far too much time talking, listening and worrying about the results of the election.

I had witnessed friendships being ruined over conflicting political views, and I was not about to let that happen to any of my friendships.

As I listened to the lies and falsehoods being perpetrated daily, and the hate being spewed by both parties, I finally reached the point of saying 'enough is enough,' and I decided I was no longer going to let my mental wellbeing be impacted by which candidate was now ahead in one of the primary battleground states.

Some of my friends couldn’t understand my sudden withdrawal from political discourse, since I had previously possessed such strong feelings regarding the election’s outcome.

But having made the choice to temporarily abstain from watching the political news, I found myself a lot happier and a lot less anxious about the election’s outcome.

And when I read the devotional below by Dave Burchette, I was embarrassed to be reminded of  the source of my  political anxiety, which was none other than my “Misplaced Hope,” which simply reflected my lack of trust in the One who rules and overrules and whose sovereign plan will prevail regardless of man's desires and intentions.

I trust that if any of you are like me, you will find the message below helpful in assuaging any fears you might possess concerning the outcome of our election.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

                           

   Why Misplaced Hope Makes Life So Hard by Dave Burchett

It is more than a little disconcerting to see the division, anger, and hatred we are witnessing in our country. I experienced a similar season in the late 1960's but this one seems even more intense. Perhaps social media and 24 hour news exacerbates the tension. As a self-righteous know-it-all back then I thought we would be able to fix everything my parent's generation had messed up. We had great hope that we would change the system and fix the problems.

We thought that hope would be realized with the right leader or a political party. In retrospect I see that I was putting my long game hope in all the wrong places. 

The word hope is used about 80 times in the New Testament. The first appearance of the word in the NIV New Testament translation pretty much lays out my belief that my hope is not found in the houses of power.

“In his name (Jesus) the nations will put their hope.” (Matthew 12, NIV)

Paul wrote about the hope that I now have in his letter to the Romans.

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13, NIV)

Real hope occurs when I remember who I am. 
I am a follower of Jesus. A child of God. A servant who is humbled by His amazing grace. A person who has been changed because of Christ. A follower of the Lord who believes that God is sovereign and His plan will be fulfilled. 

When those truths are my focus I have hope that is real. I have peace that transcends circumstance. When I keep my eyes on Jesus, I maintain a better perspective on every area of my life. You do that by remembering what really matters.

Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him. In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and He lives in all of us. (Colossians 3:10-11, NLT)

I remember a campfire song from the Jesus movement that was, to borrow the approach of Law and Order, “ripped” from the Gospel of Matthew. (Matthew 6:33)

Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;
and all these things shall be added unto you.
Allelu, alleluia

Who (or what) are you centering your hope on today? Hope grows when you seek Jesus and rest in His Righteousness. Nothing else makes sense.