Leadership Thought: Are You a Pro Active Communicator?

The key to connecting with people is to be proactive, to be the first one to initiate the conversation. “Hello, my name is Tom. What is yours?”  or “I don’t think I know you, could you tell me your name?”   

To take the initiative in greeting someone may seem a little awkward or uncomfortable for you if you are on the introverted side, but once you do it a few times you will become more comfortable in initiating that conversation. You will be surprised by how many friends you will make doing this. Relationships must have a beginning, and if you’ll ‘make the first move’ you may discover you are talking to your next best friend.

I have found a helpful way of building on your initial greeting and that is to ask the person, “Tell me your story.” They may look at you rather strangely, perhaps even puzzled, and then I might add. “ I’d love to hear more about you. Tell me what brought you here this morning?”

This morning, I had breakfast with one of my best friends who is a hospice chaplain, and he told me he always seeks to do a “life review” with everyone  he visits for the first time. He wants to hear the person share important events or experiences that have shaped and impacted his/her life.  In doing so, he often finds common ground that he and the one visited can build on.

There is a significant story to be learned from everyone you meet, but you may never discover that story unless you take the first step in initiating the conversation.

As Oprah Winfrey has said, “everyone has the need to be seen and heard,” and good listeners are adept at connecting with people by exercising good listening skills.

By the way the person I rode to breakfast with this morning was a person I led to Christ almost thirty years ago, largely by asking good questions and then being careful to be a good listener.

‘Hit and run evangelism’ can sometimes work, but more often than not most people come to Christ through relationships, or friendship evangelism, which is built upon extensive conversations with a friend who listens and cares before sharing his/her faith. At least that’s been my experience. What is yours?

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom