Leadership Thought: How Are Your Listening Skills?

Dear Friends,

Who among us has not heard the expression, “God gave us two ears and one mouth, so that we could listen twice as much as we speak”? Unfortunately, while many of us know the truth of this little axiom, there are all too few who practice it.

From time to time, I am reminded of my need to be a better listener, and over the years I have clipped and filed away some stories and quotes on the importance of listening.  I have kept them as a reminder of my need to continue developing my listening skills. I share them with you in hopes that they may be of help and encouragement to you as well.

“There are times when nothing a person can say is so powerful as saying nothing.” Ruth Perry.

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would rather be talking.” Aristotle

“I remind myself every morning that nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So, if I am going to learn, I must do it by listening.” Larry King

“A wise old owl lived in an oak.

The more he saw, the less he spoke.

The less he spoke the more he heard. 

Why can’t we be like that wise old bird?”

And one of my favorites comes from the martyred German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who reminds us that we can discover a neighbor’s needs by becoming better listeners. He writes: “Listening can be a greater service than speaking. Many people are looking for an ear that will listen. They do not find it among Christians, because these Christians are talking when they should be listening.”

“There is a kind of listening with half an ear that presumes already to know what the other person has to say. It is an impatient, inattentive listening that despises the brother and is only waiting for a chance to speak and thus get rid of the other person.”

“Christians have forgotten that the ministry of listening has been committed to them by Him who is Himself the great listener, and whose work they share. We should listen with the ears of God that we may speak the Word of God.”

And finally, from Chuck Swindoll who once found himself with too many commitments in too few days. He got nervous and tense about it. He was snapping at his wife and children, choking down his food at mealtimes, and feeling irritated every time there was an unexpected interruption in his day. He recalls in his book Stress Fractures that before long, things around their home started reflecting the pattern of his hurry-up life. He said the situation was becoming unbearable. Then it happened.

After supper one evening his younger daughter, Colleen wanted to tell him something important that had happened to her at school that day. She began hurriedly, “Daddy, I ‘wanna’ tell you something, and I’ll tell you really fast.”

Suddenly realizing her frustration, Swindoll answered, “Honey, you can tell me - and you don’t have to tell me really fast. Say it slowly.” He has never forgotten her answer: “Then listen slowly.”

The above are all good reminders for us, as we continue to develop our listening skills. Let’s be sure each of us takes the time to listen a little more slowly to the people with whom we interact. Let’s slow our pace down a little. Nothing is too important to keep us from giving our full attention to the person with whom we are speaking. Let’s make them feel important by listening to them. Let’s help them to know that we really do care about them and let’s show them our love by being the best listeners we can be. We need to slow down and listen long enough to hear the real hurts of the people God brings across our path today.

And yes, don’t forget the words of one man who was inspired to pen the words that God wants every one of us to hear and never forget: “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry . . .” (James 1:19)

Have a great day and be a GREAT LISTENER.

Yours in faith and friendship,
Pastor Tom

P.S. I almost forgot to mention the classic words of Abraham Lincoln who was reported to have once said, “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”