Leadership Thought: Comments About Civility from One Born in the Iron Age.

Dear Friends,

What really irritates me is the lack of civility that exists within our nation. I looked up the word civility in the dictionary, and I found synonyms like courteous, respectful, polite, well mannered, and the two I liked the best, were gallant and chivalrous.

I went to school in the South where they still say “yes, mam,” and “no sir,” and maybe it is my military upbringing-my dad was a colonel in the army reserves, and I attended Virginia Military Academy-but I still like and frequently used those same words when addressing others, especially policeman, if you know what I mean. I like them a lot better than “yeh” and “nah.”

As a former high school coach and teacher, I have learned that it is hard to teach young people civility if they have not been taught it at home. If they see their parents screaming at officials, demeaning teachers, insulting educators, berating coaches, how can we expect that their children will become anything but carbon copies of themselves? The present hostile political environment has created an atmosphere ripe for incivility with children witnessing their parents' hurtful, and hostile comments in the midst of their political discourse.

I long for the days when strangers would walk by you and acknowledge you, even if it was only a grunting “good morning.” At least that is a start on the road to civility. I yearn for the days when a student walks past a teacher and initiates a “Good morning, Mrs.______ before the teacher takes the lead and the student feels obliged to respond. I desire for the days when a handshake is a handshake and the person you are greeting extends his hand and squeezes it so hard that it makes you want to shout, “I give up.”

It saddens me that our nation has lost that kind of civility. Proverbs 15:32 reminds us that “we are to be courteous to all,” and all includes everyone, even those with whom we disagree, and yes, even those we may not respect.

I close with a story that always reminds me of the way we should treat others. A family went into a restaurant. The waitress, walked up and looking into the young boy’s eyes, said, “What will it be?” The boy eagerly shouted back: “I’ll take a hamburger, french fries, and a chocolate shake.” The father immediately interrupts him. “Oh, that’s not what he wants. He’ll take the roast beef, a baked potato, and a glass or milk.” Much to the surprise of both the mother and the father, and the boy, the waitress completely ignored her and again asked the boy: “And what do you want on that hamburger?” The boy shouted back, “Ketchup, lots of ketchup.” “And what kind of shake?”  “Make it chocolate.” The boy then turned to his parents with a big smile on his face and said, “Say, ain’t she something. She thinks that I am real.”

The next time someone walks by you without speaking, maybe you should reach out and grab their arm, look them in the eye, and enthusiastically remind them of who you are by shouting, “My friend, I’m real.”

Just some thoughts from someone born in the iron age.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Devotional thought derives from a message  I shared while I was a coach and athletic director of Calvary Christian School in Fort Lauderdale, Florid