Leadership Thought: Disturbed Yesterday by Watching a Capitol Offense in Washington.

Dear Friends,

Last night events that took place at our capitol were hard to watch. Regardless of your political persuasion, there is no room for the kind of events that transpired yesterday which produced chaos and interrupted the orderly process of governmental business.

During the last six months we have witnessed vitriol and hatred being expressed by both sides of the political spectrum, and this has done nothing but inflame passions and heighten  tension between our nation's citizens. My hope is that now that the election has been certified, and Joe Biden has been officially elected president, that the political climate will cool down, and those on both sides of the aisle will begin working together to solve our country’s problems.

Last night at our Spiritual Leadership class we discussed how one deals with difficult conversations, the kind of conversations that we are tempted to avoid, or at least put off because they make our stomachs churn at night.

We read the following advice to leaders. “We may be reluctant to grasp the nettle of a difficult situation and deal courageously with it. Or we may procrastinate, hoping that problems will vanish with time. The mediocre leader postpones difficult decisions, conversations, and letters. Delay solves nothing, and usually makes problems worse.” Spiritual Leadership, Oswald Sanders, p 132.

Having shared that, what is the solution to dealing with difficult conversations, the kind we, and our governmental leadership  often need to have? The Scriptures give us a clear guideline in Eph. 4:15 when it tells us, we are “to speak the truth in love” and that we are “to grow up in every way unto Him who is the head, unto Christ.”

Yes, we sometimes have to put our big boy pants on, or I guess it would be skirts if I want to avoid being accused of being sexist, and deal with the tough and uncomfortable issues by speaking the truth in love, gracefully and peacefully. It’s not easy I know, but avoiding the issue only makes the issue grow larger.

John Courson, one of my favorite pastors, writes this in his New Testament Commentary: “We are drawn to a crackling fire in the fireplace on a cold winter night because it provides both light and warmth. And such is the perfect combination of truth and love. Truth without love is like the light of a fire without warmth. Love without truth is like the heat of a fire without light. Truth without love makes people cold in the light. Love without truth makes people stumble in the dark. Thus, we need both.” John Courson, New Testament Commentary, p1251

Here are six S’s: Specific strategies for navigating conflict and doing so by “truthing” in love:

1. Separate the offense from the person

2. See it from both sides.

3. Separate emotion from the mix

4. Suggest a way forward

5. Signal positive intent

6. Secure the relationship going forward

From notes taken from a Podcast by Chris Goede and Perry Holly, Episode 103, If You Don’t Step Up to Conflict, Conflict Will Step Up to You.

No one ever said such conversations would be easy, but leaders never avoid the easy when truth and love are at stake.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom