Leadership Thought: Something to Strive for on  Martin Luther King Day

Dear Friends

I still remember those words of a friend of mine. "I believe you are the man for this church." 

Spoken in 1972 by Dick Armstrong, who was the interim pastor of a church in Philadelphia Pa., those words forever changed my life.

Dick was the vice president of Princeton Seminary and a friend of mine whom I had come to know through seminary and through our mutual involvement in the Fellowship of Christian Athletes.

He was the interim pastor of an inner-city church in Philadelphia, Pa. 

After having asked me twice about exploring the pastorate at the Cedar Park Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia where he was temporarily serving and having previously said no on both occasions, I finally said yes, and that decision radically changed my life and my ministry.

At 28 and with no previous experience in urban ministry, let alone inter racial ministry I found myself pastoring an inner-city church in the midst of a predominately black community besieged by white flight. 

In five years, the community had gone from 90 percent white to 85 percent black, and many of those white members had fled to suburban churches.

How could we keep our white members from leaving while encouraging our black brothers and sisters to start coming? 

God gave me a plan for what we needed to do and what an integrated church might look like. I believed the way to get the community into the church was to get the church into the community, and so for seven years we did just that. We offered everything we could to serve our community. 

Any program that we thought might benefit the neighborhood, we sought to offer it, and slowly we watched our church reach our predominate black community while at the same time attracting white members from suburban communities who desired to be a part of an integrated church.

As a result of our God's direction and our church's efforts, Cedar Park became one of the few fully integrated churches in the city of Philadelphia. As a result, our members had the opportunity to share their story and provide hope to other churches going through racial transition.

Seven years later I said a tearful goodbye to those friends in the most exciting church I had ever pastored, but I could never forget them and the ministry we fashioned and created together with God's gracious direction. 

Whenever I reflect on that ministry that Jean and I and our family enjoyed in the decade of the 70's, I am eternally grateful for saying yes to my friend Dick Armstrong's encouragement.

Never have I learned as much about myself and about ministry as I did those seven challenging but transformative years.  To this day I remain forever grateful for the incredible experience of working with and learning from so many of my black brothers and sisters.

On this Martin Luther King Day, I think of Dr. King's words: "People fail to get along because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don't know each other; they don't know each other because they have not communicated with each other."

Dr. King was right. We can't love each other without first getting to know each other. The racial divide in our country grows wider and deeper, and it breaks my heart.

Whenever I think of  those years ministering alongside my black brothers and sisters, some of whom are still living and with whom I  stay in touch to this day, I continue to be grateful  for their love and friendship.

I thank God for knowing those dear friends and learning from them. I am grateful that they helped me overcome my fears, my distrust, and my hidden and deep-seated prejudices of which I was unaware.

We may look different on the outside, but on the inside all of us possess hearts that  long for the same things: acceptance, understanding, forgiveness, and reconciliation. 

In a world today that is torn apart by polarized views, each one of us must dig deeper to find the common humanity and aspirations each of us holds.

We need to listen to one another and learn from each other. We need to care for one another and work together to break down those dividing walls of hostility that Jesus died to destroy.

It won't be easy, for as Dr. King once said, "Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability but comes through continuous struggle." 

Let each of us deliberately choose to join that struggle and what better day to start than today?

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. Some words of Dr. King to remember:

"Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude. "

"Let. no man pull you so low. as to hate him."

"Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it." 

"Life's most persistent and urgent question is what you are you doing for others."

Leadership Thought: Clubhouse Rules We Should Never Forget

Dear Friends,

Pride can lead to embarrassing ends. A recently promoted colonel had entered his new office for the first time. Filled with a new sense of self-importance, he was admiring his new desk and sofa when a lowly corporeal stuck his head through the door.

"Wait just a minute corporal. I have a very important person on the other end of the line." 

The corporal stood in the doorway and listened to the conversation. "Yes, general, I do know the president of the United States. He and I are good friends, and I can call him up at any time. As soon as we hang up, I will give him a call, and I'll make sure your request is taken care of right away. Any other members of the cabinet you need to speak with? If so, just let me know."

The proud and pompous Colonel put down his phone, and said to the corporal, "Now son, what can I do for you?"  

The corporal responded, "Nothing Sir. I just stopped by to hook up your new phone."

Pride can lead to humiliating circumstances, can't it? Pride, someone remarked is the disease that makes everyone sick except the one who has it. 

I had a friend of mine who was the pastor of a large Presbyterian Church in Cincinnati OH. One Sunday morning as he was entering the pulpit, he found himself thinking to himself, "If only I had a few more minutes to prepare this sermon, it would be dynamite."  As quick as he had thought those words, he heard the Holy Spirit speak to his heart, silently but clearly and convincingly, "Jerry, don't ever forget who is the dynamite." 

Often times we need to be reminded that God is the source of our power, and whatever we might need to be successful comes, not from us, but from Him and Him alone. 

"Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit goes before a fall. Better to be lowly in spirit among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud" (Proverbs 16:18-19). 

Let us never forget that God "Saves the humble but brings low those whose eyes are haughty" (Psalm 18:27).

Today's proud peacock is tomorrow's feather duster!

Let me close with one of the best descriptions of humility I've ever heard. It seems that some children were working long and hard in building their little cardboard shack. It was to be a special spot, a clubhouse, where they could meet together, play and have fun with one another. Since a clubhouse should have some rules, they came up with three: "Nobody act big. Nobody act small. Everyone act medium."

Good rules for a playhouse and good rules for those of us who might think more of ourselves than we ought to think.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

 

Leadership Thought: Are You Sitting in the Stands or Suited up for Action? (What Every Member Is Called to Be)

Dear Friends,

One of my favorite ministries in our church is Grief Share. And it is not because I'm presently involved and participating  in it, and personally learning how to better manage grief. That certainly is part of it.

But the biggest reason I enjoy participating in this ministry is because I didn't start it, and I don't lead it. It's lay led by some members who felt called to lead and oversee it.

Several years ago, I sought to start Grief Share, but I couldn't find the leaders to oversee it. It wasn't until I left for summer vacation that God raised up two individuals who possessed a heart  to develop this ministry. And so much to my surprise, when I returned to the church from vacation, the ministry I had failed at developing was organized and now ready to begin.

It is exciting for a pastor to see ministry develop in spite of himself. It is encouraging when he gets to watch members of the church grab the reins of leadership and take the initiative to accomplish what he himself is unable to do. This is called lay ministry, and it is how the church is meant to function.

Organic ministry that develops from within the  congregation, and which is sphere headed by those who are a part of the membership team, is one of the greatest gifts one can offer a pastor.  When a pastor no longer has to coax and cajole members to create a ministry, but he is able to witness that ministry develops naturally from within, he rejoices because he sees the way ministry is best developed.

My life verse is Eph 4:12 "For God has called the pastor-teacher to equip the saints for the work of ministry that the body of Christ might be built up."

The measure of any pastor's effectiveness is determined by counting the number of  members who have been equipped and are now engaged in ministry.

Contrary to what many people think, evangelism is not the primary goal of the church's ministry. It is equipping, that is, the identifying, training, and sending forth of its members to do the work of ministry.

The famous evangelist Dwight Moody was fond of saying, "I would rather put 1000 men to work than to do the work of 1000 men." And yes, so would every busy pastor.

The responsibility of every church member is to make oneself available to be equipped for ministry.

The job of the pastor is to work himself out of a job-to raise up leaders who are trained and equipped to do ministry. When this happens, the church begins to grow.

Every pastor must be encouraging members to discover, develop and deploy their spiritual gifts, so they can be sent out and start serving.

Christianity was never meant to be a spectator sport. It's success depends on everyone serving and participating and doing his/her part in winning the world for Christ.

Someone described the Christian church in the analogy of a football game where there are twenty-five thousand fans in the stands in desperate need of exercise and twenty-two players on the field in desperate need of rest.

There is no way the world will ever be won by those who are the "professionals," the ministers. Every  member must recognize his/her ministry role and be trained and actively participating as a member of the team.

In the book of Acts, we see the early church gathered together, listening to the apostles teaching, breaking bread together, fellowshipping with one another, and praying (Acts 2:42). But they scatter into the world. They go forth to 'gossip' the gospel by what they say and how they live.

The primary part of Christian service does not take place in the church. It happens in the world-in the community where members live, at school, on the job, at the store, or with your buddies eating a hamburger as you watch a game. 

Every member is a minister, and wherever you are you are always on active duty.

The only way to leave a legacy as a pastor is to equip your people for service. "Success will never be measured by what you leave, but by what you leave behind."

I often remind our members that there is "no success without a successor."

Abraham Lincoln once said, "You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they should be doing for themselves."

The measure of a pastor's ministry should never be bodies, buildings or budgets, but how many members are suited up and involved in meaningful ministry.

If you are a non-involved  church member, let me encourage you to go to your pastor and volunteer to sign up and suit up for service. Simply say, "Pastor, what can I do to serve the church?" 

It may take a moment for your pastor to recover from the shock of your offer, but once it happens, you'll become an automatic starter on a team where there are no benchwarmers. 

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: The World Needs More of These Kind of Conversations

Dear Friends,

Those who know me are probably well aware of my love for country music, and more specifically. the classic kind.

I love to listen to anything by Haggard and Jones, Willie, Waylon and Kris. Williams and Travis, but one of my all-time favorite country artists of all is Hall of Fame singer Bobby Bare who died this past September. 

You might remember him as the singer of one of one of country's all-time country/ pop favorites, Detroit City.

His impact on country music cannot be overstated.

Baer was country music's all-time greatest story tellers, and he teamed up with storytelling legend Shel Silverstein to perform a song that made it all the way to number two on the country charts called "Daddy, What If?"

Bare sings it with his young son, and I share it with you today as a tribute to this great story telling legend.

But Tom, this doesn't sound like a typical Leadership Thought. 

You are right. It is not. 

But I thought this precious and innocent conversation between a dad and his son might be a welcome relief to all the hate filled rhetoric and heart wrenching stories of violence and destruction we hear and see taking place all over our world.

Enjoy the  three-minute singing conversation below and be sure to keep the box of tissues beside you.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Bobby Bare & Bobby Bare Jr. - Daddy, What If - YouTube

Leadership Thought: "That's What Friends Are For”

Dear Friends,

Years ago,  I remember reading an article  discouraging pastors from getting to close to their members. “Don’t make close friends with some of them or you will be accused of favoritism which will create issues for your ministry. 

I can tell you after 50 plus years of ministry I am so glad I ignored that writer's ‘wisdom.’

I know I would never have made it the ministry without those close and special friends that God gave me over the years of my ministry.

For the past couple of days, I have been in bed, the result of a bronchial infection I caught while on a skiing vacation in Winter Haven, Colorado with all my kids and grandkids.

I periodically got up to check my e-mails, and it was then that I discovered an e-mail I had missed before I left for Colorado. It was from a friend in the church, and I share a portion of it.

“Tom, I have been meaning to reach out to you. Glad to hear you are benefiting from the Grief Share group. I pray as you join your family for this first Christmas without Jean there will be great comfort and support around the table as you all continue to grieve. I pray that God’s grace will cover each of your hearts as you are adjusting to living without her.” 

“May God bless each of you in a very unique and personal way this “Christ”mas season.” 

“Love and miss you, Tom.”

After reading that letter, I went back to bed physically and spiritually fortified by my friend’s kind and loving words.

For the next hour, I lay in bed recalling and reflecting on those many  "unfair weather friends"  who over the years have my life. And as I did, how grateful I was to have ignored the writer’s exhortation to avoid getting too close to your congregation.

One of the greatest blessings of my ministry has come as a result to getting close to my people.

And as I lay there in bed recalling some of those dear friends whom God had used to touch my life, the phone rang. It was a couple of other dear church friends who were concerned about me and who wanted me to know they were going to the  store to purchase some medicine that had been especially helpful to them when they were sick. And then throughout the day, they continued to call and check on me.

How blessed to be loved in such a wonderful way.

Jean and I were so blessed to have accumulated so many wonderful friends along the years of our ministry. Every time we left one of the 7 churches we served, a part of our hearts were left behind. It hurts to say so long to friends who have impacted your life, but they are never far behind, for I always them in my heart wherever I go. They remain as some of my most treasured memories.

In 1985, it was the number one chart topper. In fact, it was the number one song of the year. It was sung by Dionne Warwick. and you probably can recite some of those words from “That’s What Friends Are For.”

"Keep smiling. Keep shining. knowing that you can always count on me for sure. That's what friends are for."

 I often ask people how have friends they have made impacted or imprinted their lives?"

 It's a great small group question, and one guaranteed to generate a lot of good discussion.

My mom used to remind me that, “The best way to have a friend was to be a friend,” and I hope that the many wonderful friendships that Jean and I  enjoyed over the years are the result of our efforts to live out her advice.

In one of my Bibles, I keep a stack of letters of love and encouragement that over the years I have received from dear friends who have been a part of my ministry.

Unquestionably, that Bible would be among one of the first things I would seek to retrieve should a fire ever consume our home. 

When the church at Philippi heard Paul was sick and in prison in Rome, they sent Epaphroditus on a 700-mile trip to visit him.

When it was time for Epaphroditus to return home, Paul was concerned that his friend would have to make the return trip alone.

There were a lot of acquaintances Paul could have asked to accompany Epaphroditus on his  dangerous 700-mile desert travel home, But instead of turning to his acquaintances, he turned to his good friend Timothy, and he asked him to join Epaphroditus on his trip home,” but that’s what friends are for.”

I hope you all have those “forever friends.”

Pastor and author Charles Stanley writes, “No matter what our position or status in life, we all need friends, especially those who are genuine, loyal, and lasting. If we have found a friend like this, we should be grateful, because he or she is a priceless possession.” (Charles Stanley, Sermon on Strong Friendships, part. 1)

So, get writing, get calling, get visiting, and if you do, there is no telling how many treasured friends you might make and how. many lives you might bless, “for that’s what friends are for.”

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P. S. “If the world is cold, make it your business to build fires.” Horace Taubel

Leadership Thought: Do You Walk on the Pathway of Integrity?

Dear Friends.

A person of integrity is hard to find these days.

John Maxwell is right when he states. "Nothing is easier than saying words, and nothing is harder than living them."

Your story is not your words but your life.  You are your message.

There is a story about Mahatma Gandhi in which a woman took her little boy to see the great leader. 

"Mahatma, please tell my little boy to stop eating sugar," the woman requested.

"Come back in three days," said Gandhi. 

Three days later, the woman and the little boy returned, and Gandhi said to the little boy, "Stop eating sugar." 

Puzzled the woman asked," But why didn't you tell my boy to stop eating sugar when we came the first time we visited?" 

"I could not tell him then, for I was still eating sugar."

Our examples give credibility to our character. 

The way we build our character is by always insuring there is consistency between what we say and what we do.

We have all heard those familiar words: "Your actions speak so loudly that I can't hear what you are saying." Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Trust is a leader's greatest asset. It takes a long time to build it, and only a few seconds to lose it.

When it comes to integrity, "seeing is believing."

The Word of God reminds us that "Many a man proclaims his own loyalty, but who can find a trustworthy man?" (Proverbs 20:6)

The question is asked with the answer in mind. "It's rare. Only on a few occasions, will you find an individual who is completely trustworthy.

Are we trustworthy? Do we always do what we say we will do? Is there consistency between our words and our actions, our creed and our conduct, our belief and our behavior?

The next verse, v. 7, goes on to say: "A righteous man who walks in his integrity- how blessed are his sons after him.” 

I want to be the kind of man who always walks with integrity. And I know you do, too. 

Let us all live in a way such a way that we would never be embarrassed if our family parrot was sold to the town gossip.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Lessons: I Wondered Why?

Dear Friends, 

The late John Wooden was a basketball legend. He won 10 national championships, and today he is considered by most people to be the greatest basketball coach who ever lived. He was a gentleman, a leader, and a steadfast follower of Jesus Christ.

Coach Wooden has written a number of books that are among my favorite library friends. Inside their covers can be found a wealth of valuable life and leadership lessons that have impacted countless lives. both on and off the basketball court.

This morning I share some of his thoughts with you which were taken from the last half of an article he wrote in 1976 for Sports Medalist Publications.

I am indebted to one of his former players, Craig Impelman, for sharing the following material posed in the form of  a series of questions titled "I Wondered Why?" 

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF

-is it so difficult to realize, at times, that nothing we can do will change the past, and the only way to affect the future is by what we do now.

-is it that it is so much easier to give others blame than it is to give them credit.

-is it that many who are quick to make suggestions find it difficult to make decisions.

-don't we realize that others are certain to listen to us if we first listen to them.

-aren’t we more interested in finding the best way rather than having our own way.

-is it so difficult to develop the feeling that those working under our supervision are working with us and not for us.

-is it much easier to be a critic than a model.

-is it so hard to disagree without being disagreeable.

-can't we understand that all progress comes through change even though all change may not be progress.

-is it that we often forget that big things are accomplished only by the perfection of minor details.

-do we dread adversity so much, when facing it is the only way to become stronger.

-can't we motivate ourselves when we know that results come through motivation.

-is it that some seem ashamed to let others know that they pray or read the Bible.

-should it be difficult to give thanks, express thanks, or merely say, “thank you”.

-can't we have patience and expect good things to take time.

-it is so easy to be quick to judge when processed of only a few facts.

-is it that it is so easy to see the faults of others and so difficult to see our own.

 I certainly do not have the answer for these questions, but I feel that the more I am aware of the fact that they do exist, the better chance I will have to face up to and make them less of a problem.

 Coach Wooden used these thoughts to evaluate himself and improve; not to be critical of others. 

You and I will benefit the most from this article if we do likewise.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. What a wonderful list of questions to discuss in a small study group.