Dear Friends,
Years
ago, I remember reading an article discouraging pastors
from getting to close to their members. “Don’t make close friends with some of
them or you will be accused of favoritism which will create issues for your
ministry.
I can
tell you after 50 plus years of ministry I am so glad I ignored that writer's
‘wisdom.’
I know I would
never have made it the ministry without those close and special friends that
God gave me over the years of my ministry.
For the
past couple of days, I have been in bed, the result of a bronchial infection I
caught while on a skiing vacation in Winter Haven, Colorado with all my kids
and grandkids.
I
periodically got up to check my e-mails, and it was then that I discovered an
e-mail I had missed before I left for Colorado. It was from a friend in the
church, and I share a portion of it.
“Tom, I
have been meaning to reach out to you. Glad to hear you are benefiting from the
Grief Share group. I pray as you join your family for this first Christmas
without Jean there will be great comfort and support around the table as you
all continue to grieve. I pray that God’s grace will cover each of your hearts
as you are adjusting to living without her.”
“May
God bless each of you in a very unique and personal way this “Christ”mas
season.”
“Love
and miss you, Tom.”
After
reading that letter, I went back to bed physically and spiritually fortified by
my friend’s kind and loving words.
For the
next hour, I lay in bed recalling and reflecting on those
many "unfair weather friends" who over the
years have my life. And as I did, how grateful I was to have ignored the
writer’s exhortation to avoid getting too close to your congregation.
One of
the greatest blessings of my ministry has come as a result to getting close to
my people.
And as
I lay there in bed recalling some of those dear friends whom God had used to
touch my life, the phone rang. It was a couple of other dear church friends who
were concerned about me and who wanted me to know they were going to
the store to purchase some medicine that had been especially helpful
to them when they were sick. And then throughout the day, they continued to
call and check on me.
How
blessed to be loved in such a wonderful way.
Jean
and I were so blessed to have accumulated so many wonderful friends along the
years of our ministry. Every time we left one of the 7 churches we served, a
part of our hearts were left behind. It hurts to say so long to friends who
have impacted your life, but they are never far behind, for I always them in my
heart wherever I go. They remain as some of my most treasured memories.
In 1985,
it was the number one chart topper. In fact, it was the number one song of the
year. It was sung by Dionne Warwick. and you probably can recite some of those
words from “That’s What Friends Are For.”
"Keep
smiling. Keep shining. knowing that you can always count on me for sure. That's
what friends are for."
I
often ask people how have friends they have made impacted or imprinted their
lives?"
It's
a great small group question, and one guaranteed to generate a lot of good
discussion.
My mom
used to remind me that, “The best way to have a friend was to be a friend,” and
I hope that the many wonderful friendships that Jean and I enjoyed
over the years are the result of our efforts to live out her advice.
In one
of my Bibles, I keep a stack of letters of love and encouragement that over the
years I have received from dear friends who have been a part of my ministry.
Unquestionably,
that Bible would be among one of the first things I would seek to retrieve
should a fire ever consume our home.
When
the church at Philippi heard Paul was sick and in prison in Rome, they sent
Epaphroditus on a 700-mile trip to visit him.
When it
was time for Epaphroditus to return home, Paul was concerned that his friend
would have to make the return trip alone.
There
were a lot of acquaintances Paul could have asked to accompany Epaphroditus on
his dangerous 700-mile desert travel home, But instead of turning to
his acquaintances, he turned to his good friend Timothy, and he asked him to
join Epaphroditus on his trip home,” but that’s what friends are for.”
I hope
you all have those “forever friends.”
Pastor
and author Charles Stanley writes, “No matter what our position or status in
life, we all need friends, especially those who are genuine, loyal, and
lasting. If we have found a friend like this, we should be grateful, because he
or she is a priceless possession.” (Charles Stanley, Sermon on Strong
Friendships, part. 1)
So, get
writing, get calling, get visiting, and if you do, there is no telling how many
treasured friends you might make and how. many lives you might bless, “for
that’s what friends are for.”
Yours
in faith and friendship,
Tom
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