I was recently sitting at a basketball game with a friend from the
church, and I turned to him and said, “I have missed you the last couple of
weeks in church.” His response saddened me. “Well, I have been pretty busy the
last couple of weeks, and I need to take some time for myself.” And so his wife
comes to church on Sundays, alone, assuming the spiritual leadership of the
household that was meant for him to take. I turned to my friend, and I said,
“You shouldn’t let your wife come to church alone; you need to step up and be
the spiritual leader of your home.” Yes, I might have been a little too direct,
but quite frankly I am tired of seeing moms fulfilling the role that dads
should be taking.
This was not an isolated incident. In too many churches where I have
pastored I have encountered a similar scenario. The wife is forced to be the
spiritual leader in the home, while her husband remains content to sit idly by,
watching her perform his role of family spiritual leadership. On Sundays she
comes alone to church bringing her children with her. She takes time to teach
Sunday school, and then she returns home to take the lead in the spiritual
nurture of the children, while her husband willingly watches from the
sidelines, accepting little or no responsibility for their spiritual
development.
Many men take the approach that it is my job to earn a living. Raising
my kids is my wife’s job, and that job includes taking charge of their
spiritual development.
Dad, I ask you what kind of spiritual inheritance you are leaving your
children? What kind of example are you setting for them by letting mom fill the
role you are called to take?
In Ephesians 6:4 Paul is speaking to dads when he says you are “to bring
up (your children) in the nurture and
admonition of the Lord.”
Dad, the word is clear when it says your role is to nurture or discipline your children, as you seek to guide and
direct them to walk in the path of God. It is your responsibility to deal with
the sin in their lives, and to teach them and correct them and reprove them
when they choose to follow their own selfish desires. You are the spiritual
leader, and you can’t afford to neglect this critical responsibility.
And when we read the word admonition
(warning, counsel, advising), it reminds us that we are to talk to our sons and
daughters constantly about the things of God. Men, you are commanded to do so.
Listen to the words of Moses who writes “These words (Words of God) which I command
you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your
children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by
the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up”. Deuteronomy 6:6-7
Dad, you are to talk to your children all the time about the Word of
God. Your job as a parent is to train them how to live on earth successfully so
they can live in heaven eternally.
And if they won’t listen, or if they turn away, or won’t talk with you
about the things of God then as John Courson writes in his commentary on
Ephesians you have the privilege to do what the most righteous man on the face
of the earth did. Scripture tells us “that Job got up every morning and offered
sacrifice on behalf of his kids, he bloodied his hands; he sweat; he expended
energy in prayer for his children, lest today be the day they forget God or
curse Him”. Job 1:5
Dad, I close with this revealing study from an article about the
importance of your involvement in the spiritual development of your children. A
Swiss study found a father’s faith to be the number one critical factor for
determining if parent’s religion will be carried through to the next
generation. Dad, your role in the spiritual development of your children is far
greater than the role of your wife’s.
Why is this true? The article states as follows: “Both adults, women as
well as men, will conclude subconsciously that dad’s absence indicates going to
church is not really a “grownup” activity. In terms of commitment, a mothers’
role may be to encourage and confirm, but it is not primary to her adult
offspring’s decisions. Mothers’ choices have dramatically less effect upon
children than their fathers, and without him she has little effect on the
primary lifestyle choices her offspring make in their religious observations.”
To read the whole article, click on the internet “Research Shows Dad More
Important Than Mom in Passing on Faith, Dec 17, 2013
Yours in faith and friendship
Pastor Tom
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