Dear Friends,
The late great preacher Charles Spurgeon once said "Fellowship
is knowing and being known. It is a natural sharing of our inner
identities."
God wills that we should know each other. Why is that true?
Because there’s a broken heart in every pew. We all have needs, and God calls
us to be available to respond to one another's needs.
We really do need each other. There will be times when
I have a happy heart and out of the fullness of my joy, I will minister to the
one with a heavy heart. However, there will also be
times when I have a heavy heart and my brother or sister will minister
to me out of the fullness of their happy heart.
Paul tells we are "to bear one another's burdens and so
fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2).
It is not always comfortable to admit our needs to one another,
but honesty and transparency is needed for relationships to grow.
A few years I talked with a friend who told me how
uncomfortable she was when we broke into small groups. The person indicated
that all she wanted to hear the word, and
she didn’t like breaking into groups where people
would share their needs with one another. You may
feel the same way.
And while I understand the heart behind such sentiments, I don’t
agree with this kind of thinking as it is not completely
scriptural. As believers we are exhorted to "pray for one another,"
but how can I pray for you, and how can
you pray for me, if we don’t know the needs that we carry in our hearts . Relationships
grow in the climate of honesty, and this may mean that you and I have to be
open and vulnerable. It may mean we have to get out of our
comfort zones.
I am reminded of a well known who
headed up a large Presbyterian Church in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. His name
was Bruce Thielman, and he has since gone home to be with the Lord. I will never
forget the story he told at a pastor's conference.
He related how when he was a bachelor fresh out
of seminary and serving his first church in Glendale
California, he was lonely and needed someone with
whom to talk. He did everything in his power to find
fellowship with some other pastors in his area. He
called one after another, and when he would suggest
getting together for lunch, the pastors would look at their appointment
books and reply, "I can
give you some time in a couple of weeks." All the
pastors he called were just too busy to meet right away. Finally, out of
desperation, he called one guy and said, "Look, I have got
to talk with somebody, and I have to talk right
now."
The other guy was quiet, hesitating
to immediately respond, and then he
finally said, "All right, I can meet, and so they met
at a restaurant and Bruce poured out his heart to the
pastor, sharing the deep pain of his loneliness.
The pastor listened and then responded, "Bruce
the reason I was hesitant to say yes to having lunch with you when you
called the other day was because last night I came
home and found my wife in the arms of another man." And the two of
them just sat there in that restaurant holding hands as they poured
out their tears before one another.
Where do we ever get the idea that Christians have it all
together? That is a lie straight from the pit of hell. If anyone should know
that we don’t have it all together and that we are sinners and yet sinners
saved by the grace of God, it should be us. We should be numbered among those
who can be honest enough to face and admit our needs, and our failures
because we know that we have a brother or sister who loves us and
will pray for us.
One of the most subtle sins of all is the idea that we don’t need
each other. I need you and you need me and together we are called to serve one
another. Yes, such ministry can be painful, and at times embarrassing, but the
only way we can thrive and survive as believers is for us to be available for
one another and for our communication to be honest, open and transparent. Yes,
we need each other, we really do!
Yours in faith and friendship,
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