Leadership Thought: "Don't Let the Old Man In"

Dear Friends,

For all you who love country music as I do, and who like me are treading on what some might call old age, I wanted to share a message with you in song. The late Toby Keith, one of country music's greatest and who recently passed away from stomach cancer, sang a song that became a hit called "Don't Let the Old Man In."

His good friend Cletus (There is a good old country boy's name) Judd, who helped write Toby's classic he sang with Willie Nelson, "Beer for my Horses" was a good friend of Toby's, and he just wrote a wonderful tribute to his good friend Toby called “I'm Gonna Miss You My Friend."

Friendship is a wonderful gift and anyone that is fortunate to have a number of friends is so blessed.

Last night I returned a call to a good friend I have in Florida who had earlier called me to say hello and check up on me to see how I was doing.

In a few minutes I will be heading for breakfast at Miller's Luncheonette in Long Branch with a couple of good friends I have known for over 50 years. We have been meeting-same time same place for many years- and every Wednesday I look forward to being with them.

My mom used to say the way to have friends is to be a friend, and I hope I have done that-at least I have tried hard to make and keep my friendships.

"Those who passed like ships in the night. 

Who meet for a moment, then sail out of sight 

With never a backward glance of regret;

Folks, we know briefly then quickly forget.

Then there are friends who sail together, 

Through quiet waters and stormy weather

Helping each other through joy and through strife.

And they are the kind who give meaning to life."

Yours in faith and FRIENDSHIP

Tom

Poem taken from Drapers Book of Quotations for the Christian World, Edythe Draper

Toby Keith Don't Let the Old Man In

Cledus Judd Gonna Miss You Old Friend

Leadership Thought: The Day I Quit and Embarrassed Myself.

Dear Friends,

I was disappointed with myself. I had received an e-mail from an organization that I was involved in telling me I had to stop talking about an issue within our organization that I felt was very important to our operational wellbeing.  

Acting out of frustration, my knee jerk reaction was to resign from the organization-a more accurate use of the word would be- quit! I had grown tired of trying to change people's minds about an issue I felt was important, and so my solution to the problem was to quit.

Quitting was out of character for me. I had always quoted to teams I had coached "Winners never quit and quitters never win." 

I don't know who originated that statement, but I am fully aware that I am not the only coach who has ever uttered those universal words that I now had chosen to ignore.

A conversation I had with a friend, combined with the realization that I had just done something that was so out of character for me-quitting- led me to ask that my letter of resignation be rescinded. I am happy to say that my wish was granted, and I was reinstated.

Admitting I had been wrong in acting as I did  was embarrassing, but in retrospect I realized if I felt strongly enough about an issue, I needed to continue to fight for the cause I believed was right. 

No game is ever won by those sitting in the stands, but only by those on the field who are doing everything within their power to win the game, regardless of the odds against them. 

Even if I was the only one who felt the way I did, I knew quitting was wrong. I recognized  I needed to remain a part of the organization and continue to make my feelings known and fight to convince others of what I knew was right.

It is not easy as one of the few standing up for something that in your heart you know is right, but it is a lot harder living your life knowing you have given in and given up to your detractors. 

Even if you are the only one who feels the way you do, hold on to what you believe in, and regardless of the odds, continue to fight for your beliefs. Be committed to go the distance.

Robert Strauss defined success as "A little like wrestling a gorilla. "You don't quit wrestling when you are tired, but when the gorilla is tired."

Legendary Army football coach Earl Blaick was once asked why his practices were so hard. He reportedly responded, "Because you don't develop strong teeth by eating mush."

I am sure there were times when Jesus thought about throwing in the towel. But he was faithful in fulfilling his calling, and in doing so he made a gigantic difference in your life and in mine. 

His decision, however, was not without consequence for it was his beliefs that led him to the Cross, but aren't you glad he didn't quit?

If you and I are to be a difference maker in our family, work, school, or church, we may have to wrestle that gorilla until he gives up. We must not settle, or rest, or take the easy, because if we do, we might find ourselves in danger.

I close with the words of our brother, Paul, who said, "Let's not get tired of doing what is good. 

At just the right time, we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up." (Galatians 6: 9.  NLT) 

Remember,  "It is always too soon to quit."

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Career Ending Conversations from a Coach to Parent Coaches

Dear Friends,

This morning, I woke up to a timely message I thought worth sharing with all of you moms and dads who play such a key role in your children's athletic development. As a former coach, it spoke to my heart and I hope it speaks to yours as well.

The message comes from "Daily Encouragement," a daily devotional message I receive each morning from Clint Hurdle former professional baseball player and manager of the Pittsburgh Pirates.

If you should you be interested in receiving these messages, please see information below.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

CAREER-ENDING CONVERSATIONS

by C.A. Phillips

 Don’t keep on scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful. Rather, bring them up with the loving discipline the Lord himself approves, with suggestions and godly advice.

Ephesians 6:4 (TLB)

---

I was listening to Dimino and Cellini on 680 The Fan this week, when a statement by a caller gripped me. During the show, one of the topics being discussed was how to talk to and motivate your children when it comes to athletics. This is a meaningful subject to me, and I was listening intently. Several dads of former and current amateur athletes called in to offer suggestions and sage advice. But, one statement stopped me cold.

“You know when most kids’ careers end?” he asked. “On the ride home.”

Ouch.

I don’t coach my kids anymore – not in sports, anyway. But, I did coach them in baseball and basketball for many years, both at the rec and travel levels.  I was incredibly competitive (still am), and hyper-critical of their effort and performance. I made the mistake of going on the offensive on the drive home from the field, the court, the tournament. Instead of allowing them the opportunity to reflect on how the game or weekend went, I initiated a conversation with them.

This worked against what I hoped to accomplish. Instead of it leading to a meaningful dialogue, it put them on the defensive. And, particularly with my younger son, these forced interactions resulted in anger and discouragement.

I was a good coach. I prepared my teams, I had a plan for every practice, and every game and tournament was methodically mapped-out. But, one area I failed in was not being enough of an encourager to my own boys. And, not only that, I likely curbed their personal growth in some areas by not allowing them to ponder things on their own.

Thankfully, I didn’t push them to the point where they threw their hands up in the air and say, “I quit!” My poor choices in this area didn’t lead to them choosing to end their respective careers prematurely. But, it could have!

If you really want to get the most of out of you children, encourage them. Allow them to chew on things for a while after a tough game. After a day or two, ask them if they want to go hit BP, or shoot hoops in the driveway. And, above all, love them. Once they know you love them unconditionally, they’ll be ready and willing to listen to your advice on how to improve on the field.

Leadership Thought: For Those in the Church Who Don't Like Change

Dear Friends,

Someone said the only one that likes changing is a wet baby. The person was probably right. Change is not always a popular experience, and it can produce a lot of damage if it is not done wisely, carefully, and lovingly.

Today we face a culture that is fast changing, and that change has not been lost on those of us in the church. 

Change is never trivial no matter how small that change may be. I remember the first time I ditched my robe while pastoring one Sunday morning a number of years ago in a church I served, and you can’t imagine the uproar from some of those in the pews. 

“What is Tom doing walking around the pulpit teaching without wearing a robe?” It was as if I had ascended the pulpit in my birthday suit. 

 I can write and laugh about it today, but I can tell you I wasn’t quite prepared for the reaction I received. That experience was a stark reminder to me of the ‘tumult’ that even small change can produce.

When people allow their own personal preferences to usurp the church’s efforts to reach people for Christ, the church is in danger of becoming irrelevant. When change happens in the church that I don’t like, I have to remind myself that the church is not here to serve me and my preferences or traditions. It is here to reach the world, and if that change can help in accomplishing that goal, I better be championing it no matter how I personally feel about it.

Pastor and author J.D. Greear shares a story that really touched me.

He tells of a lady in his church who had a great appreciation for handbell music.

She discovered the church was about to sell their handbell set so they could purchase some newer music equipment, specifically some new guitars. “This lady, who loved worship, was more of the organ, bells, and horns persuasion than that of drums and guitars."

Confronting the pastor, she shared something that he didn’t know. Those hand bells, which had been stored away in the closet for a number of years, were the result of a gift her mother had given to the church shortly before she died.

In speaking with the woman, Greear writes “After a couple of long, awkward seconds, I said to her, “Well, don’t you think your mom in heaven would be glad to see us using instruments that would help us reach this next generation-including her grandkids and their friends?”

“She thought about that for a second, and then said, ‘Well, yes . . . I suppose my mom would be happy with that.’”

“She requested that we not sell the hand bells but donate them to another church, which we gladly did. Yet she did not resist seeing them go, and she did not leave our church when we shifted our worship to a more contemporary one. Today over 2,000 college students attend our church each weekend.”

Greear concludes the story with these words: “Because of the selflessness of this woman and many others, our church is reaching a whole new generation. Gaining by Losing, J. D. Greear, p. 90

It is true that as the late Robert Schuller once wrote, “Every end is a new beginning.”

And those of us who protest change may miss the joy of seeing what God is ready to do with “new beginnings.”

Yours in faith and friendship,

Pastor Tom

Adapted from a previous Leadership Thought

Leadership Thought: What I Learned about Grace from a 50-Year-Old Sermon by Steve Brown

Dear Friends,

One of my favorite preachers is Steve Brown who was formerly a pastor at the Key 
Biscayne Presbyterian church in Key Biscayne Florida, Steve is an author, speaker, and now a seminary professor.

If you have ever heard Steve on the radio, you will never forget his voice as he was a radio disc jockey before he got saved.

I have always loved his teaching, and for a number of years I received his weekly sermons which I carefully  filed away.

Recently I have been re-reading his expositional messages on 1 Peter. which he taught in 1974. I have each of some 25 messages (hand typed and mimeographed-that dates me) that he taught 50 years ago. 

To provide you with a flavor, I share with you a part of a message he taught on "Helpful Hints for Holiness" (Part 2) October 27, 1974."

Steve writes, "The Christian view of sin is a radical view. Jeremiah 17:9, goes against the American folk religion. it says the heart is deceitful above all things." 

The Christian view of God's grace is a radical view. 

Ephesians 2: 8,9. "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God... not because of works, lest any man should boast."

"The central theme of the Bible is that God has done it all... that there is nothing you can do to achieve your salvation. You can't be good, or pure, or righteous, or loving, or kind enough; you can't promise God on a stack of bibles that you'll be the finest father coming down the pike. You can't do any of those things, because your salvation is totally, absolutely free."

"The Christian desires to live a holy life not for salvation, but to please the one who, in spite of his radical sin, acted with radical grace. In other words, we try to be good, holy, set apart, different, righteous, not so that God will love us. He already loves us. We do it so that we might please the One who loves us so much." 

Steve writes, "In Pittsburgh this week, the pastor was talking about a friend, and he was trying to illustrate a point, and his son was sitting in the congregation. 

He said, " Robert, stand up." The boy almost died, but he stood up. 

The pastor said " Robert, are you my son?"

And Robert said, "Yes, dad, of course I am your son."

And the pastor said, "Robert, are you always doing the right thing?"

Robert grinned and said, "You know, daddy, I don't do the right thing all of the time."

And the father said, "Do I love you when you do the wrong thing?"

Robert said, "Of course you do, dad."

The father asked, "When you do the wrong things, are you no longer my son?"

The boy smiled and said, "Of course not, dad."

And his dad said, "Do you ever lose your sonship because of the wrong things you do?" 

Robert said, "Of course not."

"Then son, what you must do, since you are so secure in your sonship with me, is to go out and do all kinds of bad things."

And the son broke in, "Oh no, dad, I couldn't do that."

The father asked, "Why not?" 

The boy paused a moment and then said, "Because, dad, you know I love you."

Steve had it right. We love and continue to love because He first loved us.

Holiness is our goal, because God has called to be holy, but even when we fail to be what He has called us to be, He still loves us, and it is that love that keeps us coming back to him.

God's grace is the most wonderful thing in the whole wide world. We can't earn it. We don't deserve it. It's abundant and never runs. And even when we abuse and ignore His grace, we find Him standing on the front porch, scanning the horizon, always looking and longing for his prodigal child to return home. 

Now that's Good News!

Yours in faith and friendship,

Leadership Thought: Listening to God's Word Puts Me to Sleep

Dear Friends,

I seldom have a problem falling asleep. I can get in bed, roll over and I am asleep in a minute. But last night I woke up in the middle of the night and try and I could I wasn’t able to get back to sleep.

Unable to sleep, I grabbed my iPhone and began scrolling through my screen. In the process I saw a site that offered the promise of sleep. It was a U tube app. with spoken bible verses. 

I thought to myself I’m sure there have been plenty of people who have fallen asleep listening to my preaching or dozed off during lengthy readings of scripture.

I recalled Eutychus in the Bible, (Acts 20:7-12) who drifted off during a long discourse by Paul and fell from a window (talk about embarrassing moments). But falling asleep in bed while listening to the bible, sounded a lot less hazardous while at the same time it offered the possibility of being much more spiritually enriching.

I honestly didn’t think much of anything would enable me to get back to sleep, but I thought I would give it a try, so I clicked on the app. and immediately I heard a soft and mellow voice reading one of my favorite memory verses, Philippians 4:6-7.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace or God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Next, I remember hearing a couple of Psalms and then mid-way through the Beatitudes, I was completely out, and when I awoke 3 hours later, I wondered how this all had  happened.

It is no surprise that in todays’ anxiety filled world, some struggle to get a good night’s sleep. Sleep can easily evade our restless minds, but what better way to calm the spirit and hasten restfulness than filling our mind and soul with the word of God.

I confess I doubted that listening to this app. would put me to sleep so quickly, but it did, and in the interval between clicking on the site and nodding off, I was able to fill my soul with God’s word and what better way to fill a restless heart than that.

Those of you who are much further along spiritually than I am, and who know the benefits of technology far better than I do, are probably laughing, and thinking I have been falling asleep like this for years. But for any of you who like me haven’t caught up to the fact that technology can be a blessing, and not always a curse, I encourage you to give it a try.

I know this message is not real profound, and some may wonder why I would take the time to discuss something like sleep, but how quickly we fall asleep could be a gauge revealing how deeply we trust in God. 

One wise pastor said from his pulpit, “I work two shifts and I give God the third shift.” The point he was trying to make was not that he didn’t trust God during the day, but that God was powerful enough to handle everything while he slept.

The Psalmist reminds us that “in peace I will both lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety” (Psalm 4:8).  These are good words to remember for those of us who might lie awake in the middle of the night.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: The Best Booster Club You Could Ever Join

Dear Friends,

One of my favorite words is affirmation. It has been called the second cousin to encouragement.

When I think of the word affirm, I think of making something firm, for that is what affirmation does. It firms up and strengthens sagging spirits.

I love to be on the lookout for someone doing something positive and then come alongside them and give them an affirmation ‘boost.’

The painter Benjamin West was just trying to be a good babysitter for his little sister, Sally. While his mother was out, Benjamin found some bottles of colored ink and proceeded to paint Sally’s portrait. But by the time Mrs. West returned, inkblots stained the table, chairs, and floor.

Benjamin’s mother surveyed the mess without saying a word until she saw the picture. Picking it up, she exclaimed, “Why, It’s Sally!” and she bent down and kissed her young son.

West was always fond of pointing out that it was his mother’s kiss that made him a painter, and a famous one at that.

Proverbs 25:1, says “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”

West’s mother’s words were ‘fitly spoken’ and unleashed Benjamin’s prodigious talent and painting.

Not only do children need affirmation, but everyone needs it.

Both young and old need to hear those powerful words that can strengthen our spirits.

So let me suggest that you always keep your eyes open wide in search of someone to firm up, support and sustain.

Those words, “you did a great job,” “I appreciate your kindness,”  “I love your smile,” “I’m amazed at your energy” might be the words that can make a difference in one’s day and maybe even one’s life.

Even though it happened in 1972, I still remember the words a respected pastor spoke to me over the phone: “Tom, you would be a perfect fit for the position,” and those affirming words opened the door to a new ministry that would become life changing.

So, if are not already a charter member of the “Affirmation Booster Club,” join today. You’ll make someone glad you did.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Sometimes We Say It Best When We Say Nothing at All

Dear Friends,

Many years ago, when I was fresh out of seminary and pastoring a small church outside of Syracuse, New York, I received word of an accident. I was new to the area and did not know the family, but as soon as I received the call, I  left the church and walked up the street to the site of the accident.

I had been informed that a dad was outside mowing his lawn when the blade of the mower struck a rock, became disengaged, and like a missile hurtling through the air, had embedded itself in the skull of his four-month-old son.  

Seminary had not prepared me for this kind of visit, and at a time like this, words have a way of escaping you.

As I walked up the street to the  accident, I thought to myself, "What am I going to say to this dad?"  

You see in seminary we had been trained to know the right thing to say and do. but in this instance, I found myself speechless.

As I arrived on the scene, they were loading the tiny child in the ambulance, and I was informed that he had died. 

Off to the side of the ambulance, I saw the dad weeping uncontrollably, and as I walked up to him having no thought of what I would say to him, I remember looking him straight in the eye, and without saying a word, I just wrapped my arms around him and for what seemed like minutes we  stood there embracing one another while tasting the salt in one another's tears. 

I don't remember saying a thing, but the embrace and the tears must have communicated a message more powerful than any sermon I could have preached. 

He was Roman Catholic and his priest had performed the boy's funeral but a few days after the funeral, the dad called me and told me how much he appreciated all I had done.

I was surprised to hear his words, for at the time of the accident, I had felt embarrassed by the fact that I had said so little, and I wondered what it was that was so deserving of his appreciation.    

When I said to him, I felt embarrassed that I didn't have much of anything to say to him, he interrupted and said, "O yes you did. You held and cried with me, and that meant more than you will ever know. That was as great an encouragement to me as anything you could have ever said or done."

Sometimes, as that once popular song expresses it, "You say it best when we say nothing at all."

That day I learned one of the most valuable lessons of ministry that one could ever learn: Sometimes "presence" can be more valuable than preaching.

I thought back to the days surrounding Jean's death. Several of her closest friends arrived while my girls and I were keeping her vigil, and I don't remember much of anything they said, for they didn't say much at all, but what I do remember was that they were there, present in my pain and like this dad, tasting the salt in my tears.

Yes, it is true, sometimes we say it best when we say nothing at all.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Adapted from a previous Leadership Thought

Leadership Thought: What Makes an Active Church Member and Are You One?

Dear Friends,

What makes an active church member? There are a number of criteria one might offer beginning with one of the most predicable means of measuring church activity, and that is worship attendance. It used to be that an active member was considered to be one who attended church three times a week. They might attend Sunday morning, a mid-week service and maybe a Bible study. Today we have lowered the bar, and many consider worshipping three times a month qualifies you to be called active member. That is a difference of 75 percent.

 What if you were to reduce the time you spent with your spouse by 75 percent? The marriage counselor might be just around the corner. 

Hebrews 10:24-25 exhorts us "to consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-and all the more as you see the Day approaching". 

But there are other means of measuring active membership, and let me share some of them with you to see how we stack up? 

Second, an active member will pursue meaningful relationships with others in the family. One of the best ways to do that is through small group involvement. A member who is involved in a small group will be five times less likely to drop out from the church over a five-year period than one who is not involved in a small group. Relationships are the glue that holds the church together.

Third, you are giving regularly and systematically to the church. You are investing in kingdom purposes through the stewardship of your resources. The Bible is clear that "where your treasure is there will your heart be also" (Matthew 6:21). Your heart will follow your money which seems counter intuitive, but it is true. If you invest in the stock market, you will be anxious to regularly check the stock prices because you are interested in your investment. If you give to the church, you become more interested and more involved as you want to know how your giving is being used for kingdom causes.

Fourth, you will be involved in some form of ministry: serving on a cleaning crew, setting up tables for fellowship, ushering, greeting, teaching, welcoming new visitors, serving in youth ministry, teaching Sunday School. There are plenty of opportunities to become involved, and if you are not sure where you might fit in, let your pastors  know and they will find an area of service that fits your interests. 

Fifth, you are inviting others to church because you want others to experience what you have experienced. If you are excited about something, you will encourage others to become involved. When we find a good restaurant, one of the first things we will do is to tell others about our experience, and the same is true for the church.

Sixth, you are reading your bible daily, involved in some form of spiritual discipline like prayer, bible study or fasting, using a daily devotional or watching a podcast.

Seventh, you are able to share the vision and purpose of your church. What is your identity? What is your purpose? What are your values and if you have a mission or vision statement what is it and are you able to share it with others. 

Eighth, you are sharing the joy of your faith with friends, family, associates, and yes, even looking for opportunities to develop relationships with others, so that you can share your faith with them as well. This is how and why the early church grew and multiplied so rapidly- believers gossiped the gospel. They were intentional. They wanted others to hear the story of what had changed their lives.

I write this not to foster guilt or heap judgment on anyone who doesn't subscribe or measure up to these above qualities of active membership. I fully realize that none of us will probably ever fulfill all of them, but the more qualities we do identify as part of our church's DNA, the more likely we would be considered active members. The church needs active members, each one bearing and sharing part of the ministry load. 

May God help us develop these kinds of members, who will help us storm the gates of hell and pull-down Satan's kingdom. Will you join us?

Yours in faith and friendship,

Pastor Tom

Leadership Thought: Walking the Integrity Journey

Dear Friends,

A number of years ago, I was asked by one of my children if I could give one bit of advice to a young person, what would it be?

That was an easy question. I answered, "Always be a person of integrity."

The world is looking for people who will say what they mean and mean what they say, whose yes is a yes, and whose no is a no.

Ted Engstrom wrote a book called Integrity, and he defines integrity as follows: "It is keeping our promises.......doing what we said we would do.......choosing to be accountable, and taking as our motto, 'semper fidelis,' the promise to always be faithful" (Forward to Integrity).

The late Lloyd George Patterson, who was the historian at Episcopal Divinity School, was once asked how he accounted for the endurance of the early church, when so many of the tools of communication that we associate with growth either did not exist or could not be used in a hostile environment- they couldn't even have church buildings, let alone clever PR programs. He responded by saying that "The early Christian communities were characterized by unusual integrity, and some people were attracted to that."  

Simply put, this historian was saying they walked what they talked. There was consistency between their belief and their behavior, their creed and their conduct, their life and their lips.

Jesus was like that. His life was marked by consistency.

If he told his disciples to do something, you could be sure he did it himself. 

He taught his disciples to take up their cross, and follow him, and of him the scriptures say, "Christ. pleased not himself." (Romans. 15:3)

He taught that "Whoever would be great must become a servant, and he said, "I am among you as he that serves."(Luke 22:7)

He encouraged his disciples to pray in secret, and we see him rising early and retreating to the mountains to be alone with his Father. 

In short, Jesus practiced what he preached, and so did the early church. That is why they were so attractive to the unbelieving world.

If you want to be a leader today, one who is followed and respected, you must possess integrity. 

Dwight Eisenhower calls it "the supreme quality for a leader. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office. If a man's associates find him guilty of phoniness; if they find that he lacks forthright integrity, he will fail. His teachings and actions must square with each other. The first great need, therefore, is integrity and high purpose."  The Right to Lead, John Maxwell, p. 105

One of my favorite poems that addresses this very subject is called "The Guy in the Glass," but it could just as easily have been called the Girl in the Glass, and it is directed to all of us who seek to live lives of integrity.

"When you get what you want in your struggle for self, 

And the world makes you king for a day, 

Then go to the mirror and look at yourself, 

And see what the guy has to say. 

For it isn't your father, or mother, or wife, 

Whose judgment upon you must pass. 

The feller whose verdict counts most in your life 

Is the guy staring back from the glass. 

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest, 

For he's with you clear up to the end, 

And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test. 

If the guy in the glass is your friend. 

You may be like Jack Horner and 'chisel' a plum, 

And think you're a wonderful guy, 

But the man in the glass says you're only a bum

If you can't look him straight in the eye. 

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years, 

And get pats on the back as you pass, 

But your final reward will be heartaches and tears

If you cheated the guy in the glass."  Dale Wimbrow.

These are good words to keep in mind for all who would travel the integrity journey.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P. S. Abraham Lincoln said, "When I lay down the reins of this administration, I want to have one friend left, and that friend is inside myself."

Leadership Thought: The Day I Was Proud of the Way Our Bible Study Argued with One Another.

Dear Friends,

Recently at a Bible study group I attend, we were discussing a particular aspect of theology where there was a wide range of perspectives among those participating. Several members were very passionate about their views, and while respectful of one another, the discussion could easily have turned argumentative had not those involved been relationally and spiritualty mature.

As I watched and listened to the debate, I thought of a principle that was not only appropriate for that particular occasion, but one that was universally true at all times, especially in our politically charged environment where friends are quickly made enemies because of the particular positions they hold.

"Choose being kind over being right and you will be right every time."  I had memorized this quote by Richard Carlson because I believe it is an important principle to keep in mind when witnessing to others. 

When I first read this quote, I thought of Paul's words to the Corinthians: "Knowledge puffs up but love builds up. (1 Corinthians 8:1). How important it is to keep a balance between knowledge (truth) and love. 

It is so true that "Knowledge can become a weapon to hurt people or a tool to build them up."  Chapter by Chapter Bible Commentary, Warren Wiersbe, p 749.

How often I have seen people try to argue others into the Kingdom with biblical truth rather than loving them into the Kingdom through a biblical life. 

It is certainly far easier and more convenient to speak the truth than to live the truth, but we must do both if we are to be successful witnesses for Christ. Truth is important when sharing your faith, but we must always be careful to wrap the truth in love.

Howard Newton reminds us that "Truth is the art of making a point without making an enemy," and all Christians need to learn this principle. We can be right, but we can never be unloving, for as Paul writes we must always "speak the truth in love" (Ephesians 4:15).

When the newly formed church in Antioch needed some doctrinal grounding, the church in Jerusalem sent Barnabas to visit Antioch. Why Barnabas? I think it was because he was a loving truth teller, and because, while grounded in doctrine, the church knew he wouldn't use his knowledge as a club. They knew that he would be as interested in loving them as changing them. Barnabas was loving, accepting and flexible, and no doubt he developed a real ministry among that church where believers were first called Christians. It was the church at Antioch that sent the first missionaries into Europe.

Fortunately, Barnabas knew that truth always needs to be balanced with love, a love that is able to tolerate those who may think differently, act differently, worship differently, and even believe differently.

Christians must learn to disagree without becoming disagreeable. We can witness to people by the way we 'disagree' with them.

This reminds me of the story involving Bishop Pike who for many years was a strong defender of biblical truth. However, in later years, he renounced biblical orthodoxy in favor of sciences and other non-biblical revelations. Before his death he was involved in a debate with a well-known Christian scholar who absolutely devastated him intellectually. The man ground him up and spit him out. He made Bishop Pike look like a fool, and the sad thing was that he didn't stop when Pike was down, but instead he kept whipping him and beating on him. Some of those who came to the debate as defenders of orthodox truth began losing their respect for the man who was acting so ungraciously, and before long some of them were even siding with Bishop Pike. As a result of the debate, the embarrassed Pike became even more adamant and convinced of his beliefs. The Christian won the argument, but he lost a soul in the process.

Later in the same year Bishop Pike was involved in another debate, but this time it was with Francis Schaeffer the leader of  La'bri, theological retreat center. The Swiss theologian and churchmen was not only known for his grace and wisdom, but for his orthodox religious beliefs. Orthodox but loving, Schaeffer debated Bishop Pike's belief system graciously and lovingly. He pointed out the errors in Pikes belief system, but he did it in a charitable and non-dogmatic fashion. He would make his point and then he would back off, always giving Bishop Pike the opportunity to respond.

Do you know where Bishop Pike was headed before he mysteriously died in the desert? He was going to La'bri to sit at the feet and learn from Francis Schaeffer. 

Let us be reminded once again of the words of the 16th century theologian who wrote, "In essentials unity; In non- essentials liberty; In all things, charity."

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Adapted from a previous Leadership Thought

Leadership Thought That Is Not a Typical Leadership Thought

Dear Friends,

Those who know me know that there are few people who love country music more than I do. Christian music and classic country are almost always emanating from my Alexa playlist or my computer via U Tube selections. 

Today after umpiring a high school baseball game in 40-degree weather, I needed something to thaw me out and warm my heart, so I went to U Tube and typed in "Grand Ole Opry at Carnegie Hall."

My friends, I spent the next hour and a half glued to the computer listening to some of the greatest legends of country music perform on the stage of the historic Carnegie Hall, and with tears streaming down my face, I  listening to the likes of  Alan Jackson singing "Remember When,"  Vince Gill, Rickey Skaggs and Alison Krause singing "Go Rest High on that Mountain," and  Brad Paisley and  Alison singing "Whiskey Lullaby." 

They were all on stage, some of country's greatest: Charlie Pride, Bill Anderson, Trace Atkins, Vince Gill, Martina McBride and Trisha Yearwood to name some of those featured Carnegie Hall performers.

Who said  country music and Carnegie Hall don't have anything in common?

Now I know this is not a  normal Leadership Thought, and I'm aware that this is not a day that I typically send out a message, but I felt like you might be in need of some music that will touch your heart and  keep your lips a 'smilin' and your feet a  'dancin' as you listen to little  Jimmy Dickens sing "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose." Yes, you heard me right-that is the song's title. But  if you want something  a little less satirical go to the end of the concert and listen to all those together on stage singing "Will the Circle Be Unbroken?" You'll be signing along.

Don't tell me Country Music is 'ole' fashioned. if you think that listen to the first song by Trace Atkins, "Songs about Me." 

Am I trying to make you a "classic country music fan? You betcha; there are certainly a lot of worse things you could be fans of.

Hope you have a great weekend. I will be looking forward to tomorrow night and our annual Fellowship of Christian Athletes Annual Fund-Raising Celebration whose featured speaker is  Greg Schiano, head football coach at Rutgers, and a great friend of the F.C.A.  

But as special as that will be, the most exciting part of the night for me will be when my dear wife, Jean, is posthumously recognized and honored with the presentation of an annual  F.C.A. award to be given in her name. 

For those who may not know it, I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1962 at an FCA Conference in Lake Geneva, Wisc., and together with Jean we have been involved in the ministry of the F.C.A. ministry throughout our 53 years of marriage. It was because of her love and support of the FCA, that the State Chapter of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes created a special award in her honor that will be given annually to a deserving young person. I am so glad that the memory of her will continue to live on through this annual award.

So, as I close, let me encourage you to click on the link below. The only annoying thing about listening to the concert is that you periodically have to click out of advertisements that will interrupt the presentations.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

GRAND OLE OPRY @ CARNEGIE HALL - YouTube