Leadership Thought: Whoever Said Pastors Should Never Become Too Close to Their People?

Dear Friends,

Years ago, I remember reading an article discouraging pastors from getting too close to their members. “Don’t make close friends with some of them or you will be accused of favoritism which will create issues for your ministry.” 

I can tell you after nearly 60 years of ministry I am so glad I ignored that writer's supposed ‘wisdom.’

I know Jean and I would never have survived the ministry if it had not been for those special friends who stood with us during difficult times. I am still involved in ministry today because of many of those wonderful friends that strengthened and encouraged me during those sometimes dark and discouraging days of ministry.

Six months ago, I began recalling some of those special friends who have made a significant difference in me and my family’s life. My list of people has now grown to 25, and it’s still growing. Next to each name, I have written a paragraph or two describing why I am thankful for their love and encouragement, and I plan on sharing my thankfulness with each one of them during the next several months. These people are all notable members in the Crenshaw’s Hall of Fame.

Christmas and other holidays can be rough for those who have lost loved ones.  One of those Hall of Famers must have known I needed love with Christmas just around the corner, and in my e-mail was the following note: “Tom, I have been meaning to reach out to you. Glad to hear you benefitted from your Grief Share group. I pray as you join your family for this third Christmas without Jean there will be great comfort and support around the table as you all continue to grieve. I pray that God’s grace will cover each of your family’s hearts as you continue to adjust to living without her.” 

“May God bless each of you in a very unique and personal way this ‘Christ’mas season.” 

“Love and miss you, ___.”

After reading that letter, I went back to my desk, physically and spiritually fortified by my friend’s kind and loving words.

For the next hour, I took time to recall a number of the blessings of the many wonderful friends whose love has made a difference in me and my family’s lives.  And as I did, how grateful I was that I had ignored that writer's exhortation to avoid getting too close to my congregation.

In 1985 it was the number one chart topper. In fact, it was the number one song of the year. It was sung by Dionne Warwick. and you probably can recite some of those words from “That’s What Friends Are For.”

"Keep smiling. Keep shining. knowing that you can always count on me for sure. That's what friends are for."

My mom used to remind me that, “The best way to have a friend was to be a friend,” and I hope that the many wonderful friendships that Jean and I enjoyed throughout our years of ministry are the result of our efforts to out my mom’s advice.

In one of my Bibles, I keep a stack of a growing number of love letters of encouragement that over the years I have received from dear friends who have been a part of my ministry.

Unquestionably, that Bible would be among one of the first things I would seek to retrieve should a fire ever consume our home. 

When the church at Philippi heard Paul was sick and in prison in Rome, they sent Epaphroditus on a 700-mile trip to visit him.

When it was time for Epaphroditus to return home, Paul was concerned that his friend would have to make the return trip alone.

There were a lot of acquaintances Paul could have asked to accompany Epaphroditus on his dangerous 700-mile desert travel home, but instead of turning to his acquaintances, he turned to his good friend Timothy, and he asked him to join Epaphroditus on his trip home,” but that’s what friends are for.”

I hope you all have those “forever friends”

Pastor and author Charles Stanley writes, “No matter what our position or status in life, we all need friends, especially those who are genuine, loyal, and lasting. If we have found a friend like this, we should be grateful, because he or she is a priceless possession.” (Charles Stanley, Sermon on Strong Friendships, part. 1)

 So, get writing, get calling, get visiting, and if you do, there is no telling how many treasured friends you might make and how. many lives you might bless, “for that’s what friends are for.”

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P. S. “If the world is cold, make it your business to build fires.” Horace Taubel

Leadership Thought: Lessons on Ministry Ideas I Shared with Church Leaders.

Dear Friends

A number of years ago when I was on staff at Calvary Chapel in  Old Bridge, N.J., I met with a group of men who aspired to be pastors and church leaders. During the course of one of our meetings, I was asked by one in the group to share any personal leadership lessons that I felt would be of value for anyone interested in church leadership.  

The question motivated me to develop a list of some of my own personal leadership lessons that had been important to me, and the following week I shared them with the class. 

I recently came across the list I developed, and hopefully some of the lessons I share might be of value to you.

Develop your active listening skills. Attend training opportunities where you can  learn how to be a better listener.

Guard your family life for your family is your ministry.

Teach your congregation about spiritual gifts and have them complete a spiritual gift inventory to assist them in discovering their spiritual gifts. Plug people into ministries where their gifts can be maximized. 

Equip your people to do ministry. Train individual members for ministry. Never do ministry alone but always take someone with you.

Stay in your strength zone. 80% of your time should be spent developing and leading in your areas of strength (giftedness) and 20% in your areas of weakness. 

Develop prayer ministries in your church. Teach your people to pray and provide opportunities for them to pray. "Prayer is striking the winning blow; service is gathering the results." 

Always be looking for opportunities to announce and celebrate  people's achievements within your congregation.

Develop small group ministry and be a part of a small group where you can both give and receive ministry.  

Recognize and teach that ministry takes place from the pulpit to the pew but also from the pew to the pulpit (people encourage and care for their leader) and from the pew to the pew (people minister to one another) Always remind your people that "every member is a minister."

Plan annual retreats with staff and always include plenty of time for fun and fellowship as well as training.

Have your leaders visit other churches and then report back on what they saw and learned. A lot of valuable lessons can be learned from watching how others do church.

Take care of your own physical body and be sure to include some form of exercise. 

Catch staff members doing exceptional ministry and publicly recognize them for their contribution.

Write personal letters of encouragement to your members. Set a goal of at least 5 a week.

Recognize birthdays with a birthday greeting or better yet, a personal phone call.

Always guard your integrity. People will always be watching you to see whether you are genuine.

Take personal time alone for ministry planning and spiritual renewal.

Get to know your staff and their families and spend time with them.

Take the Myers Briggs personality assessment or any other personal assessment to help you understand the personality traits of your staff/leadership team. In one church I served we had sweaters made for our leadership team with our Meyers Briggs personality identification. "I am an ISFP." 

Practice MBWA (management by walking around). Spend time with your staff. Have lunch together and let them know that you care about not only them but their families as well.

Visit the sick in the hospital. Don't leave all of the visiting to your deacons. There is no greater way I know of to develop close personal relationships with your people than visiting people when they are sick.

Emphasize the importance of the Fellowship Hour after church and do everything you can to encourage every member to participate. This is a time when people can care and minister to one another.

I would love to hear from you about any particular events or activities that you found of value in your spiritual development.

Yours in faith,

Tom

Leadership Thought: How’s Our Political System Working Out? Maybe It's Time for a Change?

Dear Friends,

I was recently gifted with John Maxwell's newest book High Road Leadership, and the first chapter really captured my attention. In a nutshell "High Road Leadership" is synonymous with the word "Others."  It’s a quality of leadership that respects the other person and seeks to add value to each and every relationship.

In these days of political name calling resulting in a bitter political divide, High Road Leadership seeks to bring people together by valuing each person and treating one another with dignity and respect.

Sounds like a good idea to me, and by the way such leadership might make a big difference in what might get done by our political leaders. 

And yes, isn't High Road Leadership consistent with the teaching of our Master who stressed the importance of "doing unto others as we would have them do unto us?" 

The first chapter of the book is titled "Bringing People Together" and in it Maxwell includes a number of thought-provoking quotes which serve to highlight some of the key points he seeks to make regarding High Road Leadership.

"Leadership rises when leaders possess good leadership skills and good values."

"Hate has caused a lot of problems in the world but has not solved one yet." Maya Angelou

"No matter what the circumstances, if we want to be good leaders, we must come to the table, sit in the middle without choosing a side, listen to others, and work to bring people together." 

"If you can't work with people who disagree with you, you will never become the leader you could be."

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." Attributed to Mahatma Gandhi.

"Treating others better than they treat you, and with consistency and without judgmentalism, is the best way to bring people together."

"High Road Leaders don't focus on the chasm between people. They focus on the connection."

 "When you believe the best about people and give them your best, it brings out their best."

Such leadership principles are simplistic- just wishful thinking you might say.  They would never work in these turbulent and often chaotic times. But I would ask how's our present system working out?

Maybe it’s time for a radical change, and maybe Jesus was right when He taught us that "Every kingdom  divided against itself is brought to desolation and every city and house divided will not stand." (Matthew 12:22-28).  At least these principles provide us with something to think about!

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Let's Be Lifters and Lookers

Dear Friends

I want to remind you that we can either be the wind beneath someone's wings or the anchor in their boat. Leaders should be both lifters and lookers. We should be lifters who lighten other's loads and we should be lookers, always on the lookout for ways to inspire and encourage others.

There are far too many people who act like anchors in our boat. They are intent on dragging us down. They possess the attitude that communicates "If I can't be happy, neither should you be happy."

Leaders should be fire lighters, who come along side others and help ignite their dreams. "You can do it," "I'm with you," "You can count on me" are some of the words in the vocabulary of the fire lighter. Every one of us needs fire lighters in our lives.

 

But unfortunately, there are also fire fighters in our lives. These are the people intent on dousing dreams and dampening spirits. The fire fighter pours water on the flames of enthusiasm. His vocabulary consists of phrases like, "You can never do it," "the task is insurmountable," "you don't have the resources," "you don't have the background, or you lack the experience." The words of the firefighter will leave you discouraged and ready to quit.

 

David Mains tells the story of how he and his wife sought to address some behavior issues with their four-year old son Jeremy. He had a habit they wanted to break, but they weren't making much progress. They had tried everything until as a final resort they applied the physical discipline of spanking. When the conversation was restored, his wife, Karen, asked the chastised little boy, "Jeremy, what are we going to do with you?" Fully contrite, he slowly answered, "Why, don't you just throw me in the garbage" (Moody Monthly, "Summer 1982" p. 43).

And you know there are many people in life who like little Jeremy, feel like they have been thrown into the dumpster. They don't feel as if anyone cares about them. They feel they are without value, good for nothing except to be cast on to some garbage pile.

We all have a need to be needed. We want to know that people care for us. We want them to affirm our value and importance. We want someone we know that truly cares for us and will be there whenever we have an unmet need. We want to know we are of value and that we are important to someone. Blessed is the person who knows he or she is needed and has someone who really cares enough to provide for that need.

Today let's be lifters of someone's arms, helping to share their heavy load. Let's be lookers, intentionally seeking out that person who needs someone to inspire and encourage them. If you do, not only will you bless someone, but you yourself with be blessed for the greater blessing comes to the one who gives, not to the one who receives.

 

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Leaders Are Always Learning How to Be Good Listeners

Dear Friends,

Recently I was out to lunch with a good friend. We hadn’t met for some time,  and after our lengthy lunch, I walked away thinking what a wonderful time I had with my friend.

There is no better lunch than the one which ends that ends with both participants saying “I laughed and learned a lot.”

Having lunch with my friend, sharing stories, and enjoying  memories encompassing  twenty years of ministry, brought a great  sense of joy to my heart.

However, the one regret I had after our time together was wishing that I had talked less and listened more.

When you have lived as many years as I have, you accumulate a lot of stories, and those stories possess the potential to make for long and sometimes boring conversations. I hope this was not the case for our time together, but I do confess that I wished I had talked less and listened and learned more about the person sitting across from me at the table.

At times like this, I need to remind myself that a good conversationalist is one who is more interested in being impressed than being impressive, and  who seeks to make the other person feel valued and important.  A good listener knows the importance of listening with not only his/her ears but his/her heart

Author and speaker John Maxwell shares three helpful questions he often asks when  meeting with people: “What do you laugh (sing) about?”  “What do you cry about?”  “What do you dream about?”  These are good questions to help you get to know   another person.

Yes, you can improve your listening skills by asking good questions and listening intently to the other person’s responses.

Another important listening skill is listening to others with empathy. Pastor Rick Warren writes “listening with empathy means you listen without interruption, and you listen for what’s not being said-the feeling and fears behind the words. And you don’t need to try and fix the problem; sometimes healing comes just from someone listening.”  (Rick Warren, “To Love You Have to Listen,” Rick Warren from the internet)

Romans 15:2 reminds us that “We must  bear the burden of being considerate of the doubts and fears of others.” (TLB).

As I drove home yesterday afternoon, I found myself thinking that I could have made the time with my friend more valuable had I lived out and practiced some of the listening and learning skills I knew but didn’t practice.

Good listeners are faithful friends and great burden bearers, and who doesn’t want friends like that?

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Jesus Is the Master of Compassion

Dear Friends,

There is an ancient legend about a monk who found a very precious stone. A short time later the monk met a man who was hungry, and the man asked if he would share some of his provisions. When the monk opened his bag, the traveler noticed a precious stone and, on an impulse, he asked the monk if he could have it. Amazingly, the monk gave the traveler the stone. The traveler departed quickly, overjoyed with his new possession. However, a few days later  he came back to the monk and returned the stone and said to  him. "Please give me something more valuable, and more precious than the stone. Please give me that which enabled you to give me this precious stone!" James W.  Moore, Some Things Are Too Good Not To Be True,  P. 101.

Compassion is a quality that all of us could use more of. Jesus renewed people with the power of His compassion. In Matthew 50:32, we read "Jesus called his disciples to Him and said "I have compassion for those people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat. I do not want to send them away, or they may collapse on the way."

Just earlier the disciples said urged Jesus to get rid of the woman who was begging that He heal her demon possessed daughter. 

"Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us," the disciples urged Jesus. But Jesus had time for her, just as he had time for anyone who crossed His path with a need for Jesus was a man who was always moved with compassion (Matthew 9:36; 14:14; 20:32).

The Greek word for compassion in these verses means "to suffer with," which implies He cared so much, it physically affected him. 

That is why when 4000 were camped out on his mountain doorstep, He couldn't just send them away. They had a need, and He was willing to take the time to meet that need. 

Oftentimes we avoid becoming involved with people because we know that we will be inconvenienced by addressing their needs. It is easier to be like those disciples and say: "Send her/ him away," "I don't have time," "I don't have the resources," "I don't have the ability," "I don't have the energy".

We have all been there and done that. But Jesus reminds us that we need to be aware of opportunities to be His hands and fee, and to minister with the heart of His love. Not only should we be aware of such needs, but  we should even be searching for opportunities to minister to those needs with His same heart of compassion. 

An unknown author has observed, "Some of our tears should be like Christ tears- for other people's troubles. 

Jesus. who was the master of compassion. He never wept for Himself, and may we not shed a tear for ourselves until our compassion for others has touched our hearts  and made us weep."

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

PS Frederick Buechner writes, "Compassion is that sometimes fatal capacity for feeling what it's like to live inside somebody else's skin. It is a knowledge that there can never be any joy and peace for me until there is joy and peace for you as well."

Leadership Thought: Are You a Proactive Communicator?

Dear Friends,

Are you a proactive communicator? Do you look for opportunities to connect with people, especially those whom you do not know?

As a church member, do you come to church with the hopes of meeting someone new, and when you see that someone, do you take the first step in introducing yourself to them?  

The chances are slim that a visitor will introduce themselves to you. Most visitors are slow to engage with those around them, and so it is important that you be willing to initiate the conversation.

The key to connecting with people is to be proactive, to be the first one to initiate the conversation. “Hello, my name is Tom. What is yours” or “I don’t think I know you, could you tell me your name?”  

To take the initiative in greeting someone may seem a little awkward or uncomfortable for you if you are on the introverted side, but once you do it a few times you will become more comfortable in initiating that conversation. You will be surprised by how many friends you will make doing this. Relationships must have a beginning, and if you’ll ‘make the first move’ you may discover you are talking to your next best friend.

I have found a helpful way of building on your initial greeting and that is to ask the person, “Tell me your story.” They may look at you rather strangely, perhaps even puzzled, and then I might add. “ I’d love to hear more about you. Tell me what brought you here this morning?” 

I had breakfast with one of my best friends who is a hospice chaplain, and he told me he always seeks to do a “life review” with everyone he visits for the first time. He wants to hear the person share important events or experiences that have shaped and impacted his/her life.  In doing so, he often finds common ground that he and the one visited can build on.

There is a significant story to be learned from everyone you meet, but you may never discover that story unless you take the first step in initiating the conversation.

As Opry Winfrey has said, “everyone has the need to be seen and heard,” and good listeners are adept at connecting with people by exercising good listening skills.

By the way the person I met with for breakfast  I led to Christ almost thirty years ago, largely by asking good questions and then being careful to be a good listener.

‘Hit and run evangelism’ can sometimes work, but more often than not most people come to Christ through relationships, or friendship evangelism, which is built upon extensive conversations with a friend who listens and cares before sharing his/her faith. At least that’s been my experience. What is yours?

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: It Happened on the Beaches of Southern California. Can It Happen Again?

Dear Friends

I came to faith in Christ during the early 60's, but my faith grew the most during the time of the Jesus Movement in the late 60's, a time when I was in seminary. It was an exciting time when the Spirit of God was moving in the hearts of young people on the beaches of Southern California and where it found a home  in Calvary Chapel under the leadership of the late Pastor Chuck Smith. 

I remember singing to the music of Mylon LeFevre, Stryper, Chuck Girard and Love Song, Keith and Melanie Green, Terry Clark and others, and I am forever grateful for this period which birthed in me an even greater love for Jesus.

Recently I happened upon a documentary of this period known as the Jesus Revolution. It was titled "First Love: A Historic Gathering Part 1, and I was so touched  and moved by the music and the witness of those first "Jesus people" that I wanted to share it with you. It was the simple faith and love for Jesus of these spiritually lost young people that gave birth to one of the greatest revivals in our nation.

I encourage you to take a listen. I think you will be inspired as you catch a glimpse of how God used this period to bring thousands of young people to faith in Jesus. Though personal testimonies and heartfelt music, Jesus is lifted up and lives were forever changed by the proclamation of a simple gospel of Christ's redeeming love.

I hope your heart is touched as mine was, and that you too will once again relive this glorious spiritual revolution. My prayer is simple: "Come Jesus come into our heats once again as you  did in the hearts of those young people whose lives were forever changed.

Yours in Faith and Friendship,

Tom

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxvOfr1XnzI

Leadership Thought: Have You Said, "I'm Thankful" yet?

Dear Friend,

Our lives are different because  of 11 men who were committed to share a message that would change the world. 

Down through the years, the wonderful, good news of the gospel has been passed on to those who would then pass it on to others and one day it was passed on y to you,  and you became a beneficiary of that good news. 

Maybe it happened in church, in school, in an office, or like me, at a conference.

As you look back at that special moment, most of you can remember a person(s) who was instrumental in the decision you made.

For me it was a college football player, Chuck Beale. He was a teammate of mine, who had heard the message, and was on fire to share it. It was his enthusiasm and determination to be used by God that resulted in his passing on the message that was passed on to him. And today I am so grateful he did.

You probably have a Chuck in your life-someone who influenced you to follow Jesus. Maybe they were the ones who shared Jesus with you and you accepted Him. Or maybe like me, the person influenced you to explore the faith and you did, and as a result you came to know Jesus.

What happened forever changed your life and mine, and it all began with someone God used to impact and influence your decision to follow Christ.

Jesus called His disciples to go into the world and make disciples, and we are the products of that call. The message those disciples shared with the world is the same message you and I heard and our response to it has changed our lives for all eternity.

So, my question to you this day before Thanksgiving morning is have you ever thanked the one who passed along the message to you? Does that person know your life is different because of his or her words, prayers, or actions?

I hope so. But if you have never taken the time to thank that faithful witness maybe today is the day you should do so.

As you read the words of  “Thank You” by Ray Boltz, I encourage you to think of that person(s) who played a part in your coming to Christ and take a moment to prayerfully thank them and then pick up a pen, or the phone and share a personal thank you with that special person(s) who helped make such a difference in your life.

                   “Thank you for giving to the Lord, I am a life that was changed.

                   “Thank you for giving to the Lord, I am so glad you gave.

                   “One by one, they came as far as the eyes could see,

                   “Each life somehow touched by your generosity.

                   “Little things that you had done, sacrifices made,

                   “Unnoticed on the Earth, in heaven now proclaimed.

                   “Thank you for giving to the Lord, I am a life that was

                     changed.”  

And just as the message was shared with you, may you  commit to sharing and passing it along to others who like you, will say “Thank you, I’m so glad you did.”

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Lessons on Failure from Me and My Friends Jayant and Christophe

"The greatest failure in Your Life is to Be Continually Fearful You Will Make One." Elbert Hubbard 

Dear Friends,

I am good at failure. Don't misunderstand me, I don't like it when I fail, but each time I do, I hope I improve by learning from my failure  

Writing a daily Leadership Thought for these many years,  I have amassed more mistakes than I could ever imagine. I make frequent mistakes in spelling, grammar, alignment- you name it and I have it.

Those mistakes are embarrassing, like a mistake I made yesterday with one of my quotes. It was graciously brought to my attention by a friend who receives my Leadership Thoughts.

He kindly pointed out my mistake in the following grace-filled words written as only he could write   them.

"Good Morning Pastor, Tom, THANK YOU SO MUCH for these words of Wisdom and these Leadership Thoughts

This is wonderful and I always cherish these beautiful words and thoughts.

 Should line number 18 read as " Some people day (say) something and some people have something to say. ?

By the way last week, we had a Malachi Dad's graduation and 54 inmates, and their family members participated.”

I love my brother Jayant who faithfully spent time learning prison ministry with me. If you had seen him at the beginning of this ministry, you would have thought to yourself ‘he is never going to make it.’ By his own admission, he would frequently admit that there were many times he felt like a ministry failure and was ready to quit, and yet week after week he never gave up, and thank God he didn’t for today he  leads one of the largest prison ministries in the state of Texas.

I don’t think It was coincidence that yesterday a missionary friend, Christophe Savage, sent me the devotional below on failure. I hope it will bless you and my friend Jayant as much as it blessed me.

Embracing “Failure”

By Steve Backlund

Let’s reject the lie that says, “If something is hard to do for us, then we can’t do it.” If we fall for this deception, we are determining our future from our past. This faulty thinking is something we cannot take with us in the higher plans and purposes God has for us.  

The opposite of this lie and life-restricting mindset is this: I embrace failure as part of the process of learning to walk in higher levels of living. As I think about this, I remember a big “failure” of mine. In one of our books, we misspelled the word ‘Foreword’ by spelling it ‘FORWARD’. It was at the beginning of the book in a large font. When we edited the book, we didn’t notice this. We only discovered this after ordering a significant number of copies, and then someone came up to me, pointed it out, and said, “I am so sorry.” Upon hearing this, I had a momentary, “Oh no!”, but I ultimately thought, “I am learning to walk in book writing, so I welcome mistakes like this as part of the process.” We were taking steps forward.

To fail is “to fall short of success or achievement in something expected, attempted, desired, or approved.” To succeed is to accomplish what is intended or attempted. We certainly enjoy success more than failure, but long-term successful people learn to like many of the failures they experience because they know, like babies, they must grow into walking in their potential.

What would happen if a baby determined its future from its past? What if they said, “I’ve never walked before, so I am not a walker. And when I tried to walk, it was a struggle, so this proves I do not have the gift of walking. Because if I had the gift of walking, it would not be so difficult to learn to walk.” This sounds ridiculous, but this is how I thought in many different areas of my life. 

Those who succeed most also seem to fail most. Toddlers fall down much more, at first, than they take forward steps in their attempt to be able to walk. Even though this is true, they do not quit or create an identity belief from their apparent failure in walking. They understand they cannot get their identity from their past; they get it from their parents. “I am made in their image. I AM a walker, and I will walk.”

Why do successful people like to fail? It is because they see the manifestation of their flaws as evidence that they are walking in greater things. After all, if a toddler falls down, it means they were standing (because you cannot fall unless you were standing). 

Today, you are breaking free from the perfectionistic mindset, which does not embrace seeming failure as a natural part of growth. 

Yours in Faith and Friendship

Tom

Leadership Thought: An Exercise for Leadership Discussion and Development

Dear Friends,

Several months ago I shared some leadership quotes that I used with my basketball team while I was coaching at Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Over the years I have collected many such leadership quotations, a few of which I share below. Most of these I have sought to commit to memory with the hope that they might consciously or unconsciously impact and influence my leadership. 

I would suggest that leaders meet with their team members and personally discuss them. Participants might select three of their favorites and then express why they picked them. Mutual sharing of  these leadership principles can result in valuable discussions as participants share how they might impact their own personal leadership styles.

Participants should be reminded that wisdom is only wisdom if you use it. 

1. Relationships are forged, not formed. They require time and common experience.

2. If you want to go up, there must be things you must be willing to give up.

3. Everyone wants to feel that he counts for something and is important to someone. Invariably, people will give their love, respect, and attention to the person who fills that need.

4. What happens in you is more important than what happens to you.

5. We can do anything, but we can't do everything. 

6. You cannot push anyone up the ladder unless he is willing to climb himself.

7. Pass credit when the sweat is still on the brow.

8. The best preparation for good work tomorrow is to do good work today.

9. Example is not the main thing in influencing others; it's the only thing.

10. When opportunity comes: it's too late to prepare.

11. Brains are like hearts; They go where they are appreciated.

12. Never take a journey alone; always take someone with you.

13. People do what gets praised.

14. Catch people doing something good and praise them.

15. Treat a man as he appears to be and you will make him worse; But treat a man as if he is already what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be.

16. Everyone wants progress, but they don't want change.

17. Do the most important thing first each day, and you will never have an unproductive day.

18. Some people say something and some people have something to say. 

19. Truth presented as law hardens hearts, but truth presented with grace changes hearts.

20. The heart of the problem is a problem of the heart.

Unfortunately, I did not retain the source of these quotes when recording them.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: How to Become a Trustworthy Person

Dear Friends,

The explorer named Ernest Shackleton set out with 27 men on his crew to cross Antarctica, but before they got very far, their ship that was called Endurance, was trapped in ice and for 10 months they drifted on the frozen seas.   Eventually the ice crushed the ship, and that ship would sink. The men were stranded on shifting ice in subzero temperatures with no rescue in sight for nearly two years.

But here's what's remarkable. Shackleton didn't lose a single man. Not even one. Why? Because his crew trusted him. He ate the same rations they did. He took the worst shifts, and he lived the same way his crew did. When morale was the lowest, he never asked his men to do something that he wasn't willing to do himself. The men didn't follow Shackleton because of his  title, but because of his faithful testimony, one which was built on the foundation of trust. People don’t follow leaders because of a title. They follow a leader because of trust.  And that is always earned in  small and little increments performed day after day.  

Trust develops the way you build your house, one brick at a time. Every time you do something that is honest, every time you do what you say you are going to do, or show up on time, or fulfill a commitment, you  put another brick in the house that will eventually become your home

Being trustworthy is a tremendous responsibility, and one that must constantly be guarded, for it can be lost in a moment by some small failure.

Trust develops over time and building it is one of the most valuable resources a leader can possess.

When someone approaches you to be a part of your team there are three things they will have in mind. “Can you help me?” Will you care for me?” And most importantly, “Can I trust you?” Trustworthiness will become one of a leader's most important assets.

“Many people claim to be loyal, but it is hard to find a trustworthy person.” (Proverbs 20:6)

Jesus taught “That whoever can be trusted with very little can be trusted with much" (Luke 16::10). Today, people want to serve God in obvious and showy ways. But God says you build your trust by doing little, even insignificant things, and doing them faithfully again and again. You do them even when no one is watching you. And God reminds us, "If you are faithful in doing those little things, He will give you greater and greater responsibility."

Do you want people to trust you? You can build that trust by always being  honest, sincere, faithful and reliable.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

 P.S. "The best way you can find out if you can trust a person is to trust him" Ernest Hemingway 

Leadership Thought: What Do You Want Carved on Your Tombstone?

Dear Friends,

“The only thing that walks back with the mourners from the grave and refuses to be buried is the legacy of a man." I don’t know who said this, but years ago I memorized it as a continual reminder that when I leave this earth, I want to leave something of value behind that will outlive me.

Steve Saint, the martyred missionary to the Auca Indians writes, “Your story is the greatest legacy that you will leave to your friends. It’s the longest-lasting legacy you will leave to your heirs.”

I have been thinking a lot more about legacy of late as I watch the sand in my hourglass emptying fast, and when that final grain has passed, what will remain will only be the memory of what I was.

It has been said the power of a person’s life is in the stories they leave behind. What are the stories people will remember when they talk about you? What are the values they extoll and speak about at your funeral?

I think of Bill Roberts, a member of our church who died a number of years ago. I will always remember the terrific bear hug he would give everyone who entered the church. His love for people still permeates through our family of faith.

Throughout our lives other people have shaped and influenced us. We are different because of these people. How will those people be different spirally because they have been around us?

What kind of spiritual impact will you leave behind that will continue to live on in the lives of your children and your grandchildren after you are gone?

“Legacy is not leaving something for people. It’s leaving something in people.” says Peter Strople

John Maxwell talks about a trip that he once took to visit Mother Teresa’s tomb. He says that when he got there, he found out that the room where the tomb was located was being used for a special ceremony.

Maxwell writes, “We could see a group of about 40 to 50 nuns seated, all dressed in a familiar habit that Mother Teresa had worn.”

“What’s going on in there,” I asked a nun passing by.

“She smiled.”

 “Today we are taking 45 new members into our order.” she said. And then she hurried away into another part of the building.

“Mother Teresa was gone, but her legacy was continuing. She had made an impact on the world, and she had developed leaders who were carrying on her vision.”

Whether it’s Bill Roberts or Mother Teresa, every one of us has a mission in life, and that is to make our world a better place in which to live. And we can do that by the spiritual footprints we leave behind, as we continue follow in the footsteps of Jesus.

Your commitment to live for Jesus, and your unwillingness to compromise His values will leave a mark on the hearts of those you leave behind.

Someday people will summarize your life in a single sentence. What would you want that sentence to be?

Why not take a moment to write out that sentence and then commit to doing whatever you can to make it a reality in your life.

A godly legacy is a legacy that lasts.

In closing, I remind you that “A righteous man will be remembered forever.” (Ps 112:6 NIV).

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. "Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing."