Leadership Thought: A Conversation with a Friend Who Taught Me a Valuable Lesson in Caring for Others

Dear Friends,

Last night I called a friend on his birthday.  At 82, despite some very significant health issues, my friend Armando is still pastoring and ministering in north Florida. He is an assistant pastor in a small church where he serves a Spanish/Anglo speaking congregation.

My brother Armando is a man of prayer, and one of the ways he continues to minister to others is by praying for people who have lost loved ones. He shared with me how he keeps a calendar book in which he records the names of people he knows, and the dates their loved one have passed away. Each day he opens that book and takes time to pray for the loved ones who suffered loss on that specific day. 

He then reminded me of how he had prayed for me and my family on the date Jean died and how he had prayed for my daughter Sarah on the day her husband Jeff had passed away just last year.

While I try and communicate with the members of our church on their birthdays, I never thought of recording the dates on which friends of mine had lost loved ones.

While I have a friend I call every year on November 11th, the day his daughter was killed in a tragic robbery,  I never thought of remembering and recording  significant dates that other friends had experienced loss, and today I am determined to begin.

By praying, making a phone call, writing a letter or paying a personal visit, we can perform a significant ministry of love and encouragement as we remind others that we are thinking and praying for them.

Thanks, Armando, for revealing to me and to those reading this message of such a significant way of remembering and caring for others.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Making This Change May Be More Important Than Your Calling Dear Friends, One of my favorite resources and one which I look forward to receiving two times a week is Biblical Leadership. Containing leadership articles by writers from all over the country, I always find something of value as I did this morning when I opened up the article below by Tom Harper who oversees this wonderful leadership resource Sometime ago I jotted down the following quote and while I don’t remember its source,  its message has always stuck with me: “Humble work becomes holy work when it is done for the Lord.” In the article below from Biblical Leadership, Tom Harper shares a perspective on our work that I found thought provoking. Tom writes:

Sometimes we put too much emphasis on "calling." "I've been called to a new role," you might say, thinking the new job is more in line with God's will than your old one was. "I still haven't figured out my calling in life," someone adds, meaning they just haven't been satisfied with any job yet. Brother Lawrence, in his 17th-century book, The Practice of the Presence of God, said that "our sanctification [does] not depend on changing our works, but doing that for God's sake which we commonly do for our own." He adds that it's "lamentable to see how many people mistook the means for the end, addicting themselves to certain works, which they performed very imperfectly, by reason of their human or selfish regards" (p. 26). Brother Lawrence had no regard for the opinion of others or whether he was talented at his job, or even whether it was seen as some kind of special calling. He simply did the job in front of him as well as he could, as an offering of love to God. He washed dishes not because he had special training or because he was "wired" for it. He served the Lord through his hard work, and he used it to draw nearer to the Lord in conversation. Does that humble you as much as it does me? Calling is important, but I'm starting to believe our sanctification doesn't rely on it.” As I reflect upon Tom’s words, I recalled a verse  I sometimes add below my name on letters I send: Colossians 3:23-24 reminds us that “Whatever you do, do it enthusiastically, as something done for the Lord and not for men, knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord- you serve the Lord Christ.: I think our good friend Brother Lawrence had this verse inscribed upon his heart, and it might be worth inscribing on our hearts as well. Yours in faith and friendship, Tom

Leadership Thought: Valuing People the Way Jesus Did.

Dear Friends,

Yesterday I was on the phone with a friend who was going through a difficult time. She shared with me how the relationship with her sister-in-law had been fractured during a political argument simply because she didn’t support the person her sister-in-law supported.

Unfortunately, this was not the first time I had heard of a relationship being destroyed over some political issue.

Sadly, there are people today, including those who are believers, who have written off friendships because of political differences.

Sadly, it is those who claim the name of Christ who are often most vulnerable to allowing politics to impact friendships.

Instead of valuing people and overlooking our differences in a spirit of love, we focus on our differences and allow those differences to divide us.

Unfortunately, Christians can become contentious, and that quality can tarnish their witness.

As believers, we should strive to value others, regardless of their point of view, and yet many times we do just the opposite; we devalue them. Instead of bringing people together, we divide them by our actions.

“See how they love one another,” was a frequent refrain of unbelievers as they watched the early church believers love one another. It was the love they saw practiced inside the walls of the church that attracted them and resulted in their wanting to know more about the love they saw lived out among believers.

Today I wonder what the world thinks of us in the church as they watch how we relate to one another.

God did not send His Son to teach us how to point fingers at others; He taught us to love one another.

He taught us that we should be salt and light, qualities that attract others.

The fruit of the Spirit is characterized by love, and it is that love that makes us different from the rest of the world.

In Galatians 5:22- 23  Paul writes, “But the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit within you is divine love in all its varied expressions: joy that overflows, peace that subdues, patience that endures, kindness in action, a life full of virtue, faith that prevails, gentleness of heart, and strength of spirit. Never set the law above these qualities, for they are meant to be limitless.”(TPT)

As believers we have the choice of being fruitful or fruitless, of loving and valuing others, or rejecting and devaluing others. We can curse the darkness, or we can turn on our lights and let them shine for the world to see.

If we don’t value people and try to see the best in them, how will we ever relate to them and win them to Jesus?

As Christ followers we should be salt and light. We should be different from those in the world, and it is that distinctive difference that sets us apart and causes others to want to know the secret to that difference.

If you and I don’t value  those who act and think differently than us, how will we ever help them, and if we never help them, how will they ever see  and come to know the love of Christ that can change them?

It was the religious people who wrote off people like Zacchaeus,  the Samaritan woman at the well, or the thief on the cross, but these were the very people, sinners just like you and me, who Jesus came to save.

If you and I want to be Christ like, the answer is simple; value people, all people, and especially those who act and think differently than us.

Religious people wanted to write sinners off. Jesus wanted to write them in and make them main characters in His story  to remind us that no one is beyond saving.

The law of God is of little value, if we don’t have the love of God. The law will make us legalistic policeman, but the love of God will make us loving brothers and sisters who know that no one is beyond Christ’s love and His redemption.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Have You Ever Entertained an Angel?

Dear Friend,

Chuck Swindoll is one of my favorite writers, and I thought this message from Come Before Winter  was worth sharing.

“Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters. Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it! (Hebrews 13:1–2)

Who really cared? His was a routine admission to busy Bellevue Hospital. A charity case, one among hundreds. A bum from the Bowery with a slashed throat. The Bowery . . . last stop before the morgue. Synonym of filth, loneliness, cheap booze, drugs, and disease.

The details of what had happened in the predawn of that chilly winter's morning were fuzzy. The nurse probably shrugged it off. She had seen thousands, and she was sure to see thousands more. Would it have made any difference if she and those who treated him had known who he was? Probably so.

His recent past was the antithesis of his earlier years. The Bowery became the dead-end street of an incredible life. On that icy January morning before the sun had crept over New York's skyline, in a 25-cent-a-night flophouse, a shell of a man who looked twice his age staggered to the wash basin and fell. The basin toppled and shattered.

He was found lying in a heap, naked and bleeding from a deep gash in his throat. His forehead was badly bruised, and he was semiconscious. A doctor was called, no one special—remember, this was the Bowery. He used black sewing thread that somebody had found to suture the wound. That would do. All the while the bum begged for a drink. A buddy shared the bottom of a rum bottle to calm his nerves.

He was dumped in a paddy wagon and dropped off at Bellevue Hospital, where he would languish, unable to eat for three days . . . and die. Still unknown.

A friend seeking him was directed to the local morgue. There, among dozens of other colorless, nameless corpses with tags on their toes, he was identified. When they scraped together his belongings, they found a ragged, dirty coat with 38 cents in one pocket and a scrap of paper in the other. All his earthly goods. Enough coins for another night in the Bowery and five words, "Dear friends and gentle hearts." Almost like the words of a song, someone thought. But who cared?

Why in the world would a forgotten drunk carry around a line of lyrics? Maybe he still believed he had it in him. Maybe that derelict with the body of a bum still had the heart of a genius. For once upon a time, long before his tragic death at age 38, he had written songs that literally made the whole world sing, such as:

"Camptown Races"
"Oh! Susanna!"
"Beautiful Dreamer"
"Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair"
"Old Folks at Home"
"My Old Kentucky Home"

And 200 more that have become deeply rooted in our rich American heritage. Thanks to Stephen Foster, whom nobody knew. And for whom nobody cared.

Deep within many a forgotten life is a scrap of hope, a lonely melody trying hard to return. Some are in prison. Some in hospitals. Some in nursing homes. And some silently slip into church on Sunday morning, terribly confused and afraid. Until someone steps in. And stoops down. And, in love, rebuilds a life, restores a soul, rekindles a flame that sin snuffed out, and renews a song that once was there.

Do you care? Enough "to show hospitality to strangers," as Hebrews 13:2 puts it? It also says that in doing so, we occasionally "entertain angels without knowing it."

Angels that don't look anything like angels. Some might look like bums from the Bowery, but they may have a song dying in their hearts because nobody knows and nobody cares.” Taken from the internet and shared in Come Before Winter, Chuck Swindoll, 1985

When you and I next encounter someone who is lost, hungry or hurting—may we be  reminded of this story and look to help for we might discover we are entertaining one of God’s special angels.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: How a Bible Study Wrestled with the Providence of God

Dear Friend,

Last night our Home Bible Study group wrestled with a challenging theological question: the providence of God.

As we sat around the room, each of us shared personal stories of how certain events in our life-  some significant and others seemingly insignificant- had been used by God to fulfill His plan and purpose for our lives.

“Remember when,” became a familiar refrain as each of us agreed that there were no unplanned coincidences in God’s plan for our lives, and that everything that had happened was used by God to develop our salvation story.

As I reflected on our meeting, I thought of one of my favorite stories that so perfectly illustrated the remarkable providence of God

A British family went to Scotland one summer for a vacation. The mother and father were looking forward to enjoying the beautiful Scottish countryside with their son.

But one day, the son wandered off by himself and got into trouble. As he walked through the woods, he came across an abandoned swimming hole, and as most boys his age do, he took off his clothes and jumped in!

He was totally unprepared for what happened next. Before he had time to enjoy the pool of water, he was seized by a vicious attack of cramps. He began calling for help while fighting a losing battle with the cramps to stay afloat.

Fortunately, a farm boy was working in a nearby field. When he heard the frantic cries for help, he rescued the English boy and brought him to safety

The father of the boy who had been rescued was, of course, very grateful. 

The next day, he went to meet the youth who had saved his son's life, and the two talked. The Englishman asked the brave lad what he planned to do with his future.

The boy answered, "I'll be a farmer like my father."

The grateful father said, "Is there something else you would rather do?" 

"Oh, yes," answered the Scottish lad. "I've always wanted to be a doctor, but we are poor and could never afford to pay for the education."

"Never mind that," said the Englishman. "You shall have your heart's desire and study medicine. Make your plans, and I'll take care of the costs."

 So, the Scottish lad did indeed become a doctor.

The intriguing part of the story is that years later, in December of  1943, Winston Churchill (the English boy), became deathly ill with pneumonia. While in North Africa, his life was saved for a second time by the same Scottish boy, Sir Alexander Fleming, who had become that doctor. 

This time he was saved with a new drug Fleming had invented, the first antibiotic, penicillin. 

Two years later, under the unshakable leadership of Churchill, Britain and her allies would defeat Hitler and the Nazis, ending the most diabolical regime in history. Holy Moments, Matthew Kelly, p. 165-67)

One never knows how the providence of God is shaping events of history to conform to his will.

It is so true  that "The King's heart is like channels of water in the hands of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes. (Proverbs 21:1)."

Genesis tells about Joseph, who was sold by his brothers to be a slave in Egypt, but who eventually became the prime minister of the land.

Paul and Barnabas had such a bitter quarrel about taking John Mark on a missionary journey that they wound up going their separate ways, resulting in two successful preaching expeditions instead of one. 

In the book of Esther,  we learn how God providentially kept the king awake, while summoning one  of his servants to search the records for information concerning Mordecai, and had the prideful Haman arrive at just the right time to fulfill his purpose-to save the Jews from distinction.

Yes, “All things do work together for good for those who love God and who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Charles Swindoll suggests, "It is time to remove three words from our vocabulary as we add the word providence to our communication. They are chance, fate, and luck. Those humanistic terms suggest there are blind, impersonal, and spontaneous forces at work in the ranks of humanity. NOT! Only One is at work in you, for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure" Philippians (2:13).

Swindoll continues, "Take heart my friend. God is in full control. Nothing is happening on Earth that brings a surprise to Heaven. Nothing is outside the scope of his divine radar screen as he guides us safely home. Things that seem altogether confusing, without reason, unfair, even wrong, do indeed fit into the father's providential plan." The Finishing Touch, Charles Swindoll, p. 140

Aren't you glad He's in control?

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. "The God who knows you best, knows the best for you." Woodrow Kroll

Leadership Thought: A Simple Reminder on Making Friends and Building Relationships

Dear Friends,

John Maxwell tells a wonderful story about making good impressions.

He shares how Jenny Jerome (Winston Churchill’s mother) glided through the loftiest social circles in Great Britain. Once, on consecutive nights, Ms. Jerome dined with England’s premier politicians: Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli and his chief rival, William Gladstone. When questioned about her impressions of the two men, Ms. Jerome made the following observation:

“When I left the dining room after sitting next to Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But when I sat next to Disraeli, I left feeling that I was the cleverest woman.”

Maxwell writes, “Perhaps you know leaders like Gladstone - confident individuals who exude with intelligence, and charisma. Whenever you’re around them, you cannot help but notice their charm… because they make every effort to parade their brilliance in front of you. However, I’ll wager that you’d prefer to follow someone like Disraeli, a leader who would rather draw out the best in you than strut his or her personal greatness.”

In building relationships, it is important to take the focus off yourself and focus it on others.

Last Sunday I was sitting next to a person who I noted was taking extensive notes throughout the message. I didn’t know her name, but after the service I introduced myself and told her how impressed I was with the notes she had been taking throughout the service. I affirmed her and asked when she began the habit of taking sermon notes in church. This led to a rather lengthy conversation and ultimately resulted in my making a new church friendship.

The Thirty Second Rule is a good reminder that in the first 30 seconds of meeting someone we should immediately focus our attention on them and not ourselves. We should be looking for ways to make them feel important, remembering your goal is to be impressed, never impressive.

Try to think of something encouraging to say to them. You might compliment them by saying “You have a wonderful smile”, or “you seem to be so comfortable with children”, or I couldn’t help notice how helpful you were to one of my friends.”

I sometimes will imagine that the person I am talking with is wearing a large name tag that cries out "Please help me feel important."

Someone else suggests putting your mother’s face on the person to whom you are talking  as a way of keeping your comments warm and encouraging.

During the close of the conversation, I sometimes will say to the person, “Do you know what I like about you,” and then specify something that impressed me about them.

The 30 Second Rule is no time for ‘phony baloney.’  You must always make sure your comments and compliments are  honest, genuine, and sincere.

Paul writes to the Corinthians, “We have spoken ‘honestly’ with you, and our hearts are open to you.” 2 Corinthians 6:11 NLB. This is a good reminder of the kind of speech that should mark our communication.

The 30 second rule may seem simple, but I can assure you it will improve your interaction with others.

As Mother Teresa, the Roman Catholic nun and missionary remarked, “Make sure that anyone who comes to you always leaves you happier and healthier.”

Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, shy or outgoing, that’s good advice for all of us to follow.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: The First Sermon I Ever Preached by Billy Graham

Dear Friends,

It was over 60 years ago when I charged into Rev. Allan Foster’s office and excitingly shared with him how God had changed my life while attending a Fellowship of Christian Athletes conference in Lake Geneva, Wisc.

Little did I know how that visit would impact my life.

Allan was excited to hear my story, and when I had finished, he shocked me with a question I will never forget. He asked, “Tom, how would you like to preach this Sunday?” I never expected a question like that and without thinking I enthusiastically responded "yes."

As I drove home from that meeting, reality set in, and I couldn't believe I agreed to do such a stupid thing. Preach? I had no idea how or where to begin, let alone what I would say.

I thought about calling Rev. Foster and telling him I had second thoughts about my decision, but I was too embarrassed to do so, and so I began thinking about what I might say.

And then I remembered we had some old Billy Graham "Decision" magazines around the house, and each copy always had a wonderful message by Dr. Graham.

I sorted through a number of them, and I picked out a message on the second coming of Christ. Keep in mind I hardly knew much about his first coming, let alone his second coming. 

However, I figured if the message was good enough for Billy Graham to share, it had to be good enough for me and this little congregation to hear.

I worked hard all week crafting a message that was more Dr. Graham's than mine, and when Sunday morning came, I strode to the pulpit confident that I could survive the experience without embarrassing myself too greatly.

I got off to a good start, but after a few minutes I looked down at my manuscript and noticed the clock, and I was shocked to discover I was almost finished with the message, and I had been in the pulpit less than ten minutes.

A few minutes later, I embarrassedly brought the message to a close. I apologized for my brevity, and sheepishly walked to the back of the church hoping I could sneak out of the service without having to greet a single person.

And then it happened. As I sat down, the congregation erupted in applause. I was stunned. I figured the applause must be because the service had been so short that they were excited to beat their Roman Catholic friends for breakfast at the Cherry Tree Inn. But no, they were cheering for me, not realizing they were really cheering for Dr. Graham who wrote most of my message. 

But at that point I didn’t care, as I was desperate to receive any form of affirmation I could get.

While this event took place in 1962, I still vividly remember how encouraged I felt after failing so miserably in my first pulpit attempt.

Affirmation is something one never forgets.  It has often been called the second cousin of encouragement. To affirm someone is to make them "firm," and affirmation does just that. It strengthens and fortifies us. That's what those precious people in that little Henderson, N.Y. congregation did for me. They strengthened me.

I sometimes wonder if they hadn't affirmed me the way they did, would I have ever had the courage to ever set foot in the pulpit again.

If affirming words were rarely spoken in your home, let me give you some words and phrases that you might wish to add to your vocabulary. These words are easy to speak, and they are powerful life changers, especially for the one who is drowning in self-doubt or who has been embarrassed by some past failure.

I'm proud of you, way to go,  magnificent, I knew you could do it, you're very special to me, I trust you, what a treasure you are, hooray for you, beautiful work, you're a real trooper, well done, that's so creative, you make my day, you're a joy, give me a big hug, you're such a good listener, you figured it out, I love you, I'm praying for you...You get the point! There are a lot of ways you can affirm someone.

The Apostle Paul writes, “Don’t let any unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29) This is a good verse to memorize.

Today, let’s all join the best club in the world: The Affirmation Booster Club.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom