Leadership: Thought: I Am Tired of the Blame Game

Dear Friends,

A lot of people are playing the blame game these days. It is frustrating that that almost every tragic event that happens in our nation somehow becomes politicized by those looking to stick it to those who are their political enemies.

Angry people look for scapegoats, while politicians point fingers. Newscasters enter the fray with their own agendas, asking the kind of political questions guaranteed to fan the flames of blame. I am sure that if we are all honest enough we would find plenty enough blame to go around.
We are a society that has grown accustomed to blaming others for our problems. Rather than accepting any responsibility, we are quick to point the finger at someone else "It's always their fault and not mine." and consequently the courts are inundated with frivolous lawsuits that get more preposterous with every passing day.

As the former late great basketball coach John Wooden once wrote, “Nobody is ever defeated until they start blaming others.” If people would follow his advice, we could begin to wipe out the disease of ‘victimitis,’ or ‘the poor me disorder almost immediately.

We see a vivid example of this disease in Genesis 16. Sarai, who was childless after many years, gave her servant, Hagar, to Abram to she might bear him a child. Abraham sleeps with Hagar, but when she becomes pregnant and begins to treat her mistress Sarai with contempt, Sarai points the finger at Abram. “It’s all your fault!  Now the servant of mine is pregnant, and she despises me, though I myself gave her the privilege of sleeping with you. The Lord will make you pay for doing this to me” Genesis 16:5). Hold on Sarai, “Who told your husband to take Hagar as his mistress? Who encouraged your husband to sleep with your servant?”

Blamed rears its ugly head in the first pages of the Bible. It appears right in the midst of the garden. “Yes, I ate it, “ said Adam, “but it was the woman you gave me who brought me the fruit and I ate it."  And when the Lord turned to Eve, and asked her how she could eat of the fruit, she had her own excuse. “The serpent tricked me," she replied. "That’s why I ate it” (Genesis 3:12-13).

As Christians, Let’s be careful not to enter into the blame game. When we do something wrong, we need to accept responsibility, confess our sin, and ask God to forgive it.

I close with part of an article I filed away many years ago that should serve as a reminder to all of us of the pernicious nature of blame.

“Blame never affirms, it assaults.
Blame never restores, it wounds.
Blame never solves, it complicates.
Blame never unites, it separates.
Blame never smiles, it frowns.
Blame never forgives, it rejects.
Blame never forgets, it remembers.
Blame never builds’ it destroys.”

One of the most innovative psychologists in this century said that he considers only one kind of counselee relatively hopeless: that is the person who blames other people for his or her problems. “If you can own the ‘mess you’re in’, he says, there is hope for you and help is available. As long as you blame others, you will be a victim for the rest of your life.”

Have a wonderful weekend.

Yours in faith and friendship,
Tom