Dear Friends,
I first met her in high school. She was older than I, and
exciting. She'd been around. My parents warned me to have nothing to do with
her. They claimed no good could come from our relationship.
But I kept meeting her on the sly. She was so sophisticated and
worldly. It made me feel grown up just being with her. It was fun to take her
to a party in those days. She was almost always the center of attention.
We began seeing more of each other after I started college. When I
got a place of my own, she was a frequent guest. It wasn't long before she
moved in with me. It may have been common-law, but it was heartbreaking for my
parents. I kept reminding myself I wasn't a kid anymore. Besides, it was legal.
We lived together right through college and into my early days in
business. I seldom went anywhere without her, but I wasn’t blind. I knew she
was unfaithful to me. What's worse, I didn't care. As long as she was there for
me when I needed her (she always was) it didn't matter.
The longer we lived together, the more attached I became. But it
wasn't mutual. She began to delight in making me look foolish in front of my
friends. But still, I couldn't give her up.
It became a love / hate relationship. I figured out that her
glamour was nothing more than a cheap mask to hide her spite and cynicism. I
could no longer see her beauty after I came to know her true character.
But old habits are hard to break. We had invested many years in
each other. Even though my relationship with her made me lose a little respect
for myself, she had become the center of my life. We didn't go anywhere. We
didn't do anything. We didn't have friends over. It was just the two of us. I
became deeply depressed and knew that she was responsible for my misery. I
finally told her I was leaving for good. It took a lot of guts, but I left.
I still see her around. She's as beautiful as when we met. I still
miss her now and then. I'm not boasting when I say she'd take me back in a
minute. But by the grace of God, I'll never take up with her again.
If you see her, give her my regards. I don't hate her. I just
loved her too much.
Chances are you know her family. The name is Alcohol.
(A letter submitted by Robert L. Rogers, Waco TX. and sent to Ann
Landers many years ago)
Next month our church is launching its own addiction program,
“Recovery Life”, an outreach combining principles of AA and “Celebrate
Recovery.” This week I sat with some close friends from the church who are a
part of the leadership team of this new ministry, and I listened to the pain
that this “friend” had caused them. In retelling their painful encounters with
this "friend," I was again reminded of how important it is to choose
your friends wisely. Falling in love with the wrong “friend” can be
devastating, so be careful of the friends you make.
Yours in faith and friendship,
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