Leadership Thought: Connecting with Negative People and Transforming Relationships.

"Relationships with negative people. Are simply tedious encounters with porcupines. You don't have the remote knowledge how to be close to them without quills being shot in your direction." Shannon. L. Alder.

Dear Friend,

“Tell me something good.” “What’s not good?” What will you do to make it good?” These are three wonderful expressions to help you  connect with people who you might normally seek to avoid.

I am indebted to Jon Gordon, author, corporate trainer and popular speaker  for these three statement/questions  which provide a way to confront negative people. These ‘Debby Downers,’ and “The Sky Is Falling” kind of people are hard to be around and often when we see them coming, we are tempted to run in the other direction.

But these three statement/questions provide an opportunity to turn a potentially negative conversation into a positive and productive one.

“Tell me something good,” starts the conversation on a positive note. You initiate and control the conversation, and prevent it from tail spinning in a negative direction.

“What’s not good,” shows that you care about the other person, and you are not just a ”pie in the sky” kind of person who ignores the reality of problems but wants to make them better.

And finally, “How can we make it good, indicates your desire to help come up with a solution that will address the person’s  problem or particular need.

Good leaders are always looking to focus on the positive and not the negative. They are anxious to look for solutions to difficult problems. They seek to engage with negative people  and show them the value of keeping communication positive and uplifting.

The next time you are tempted to avoid that critical person, why not try using the positive approach? And if you do, you might discover you become engaged in more positive and meaningful conversations.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom