Leadership Thought: What’s High Road Leadership All About?

Dear Friends”

I was listening to a podcast by John Maxwell last week when John talked about a “high road leader.” I had never heard that definition of leadership before, so I was curious to listen.

High road leaders are those leaders who are always looking to give more than they receive. Many leaders expect people to serve them and help them get to the top, but a high road leader is more concerned about helping others get to the top.

High road leaders possess servant’s hearts. They are more concerned with the needs of others than they are with their own needs.  High road leaders give more than they take. They do so because they know that if they care for the people they lead, those people will love, respect, and want to work hard for them.

High road leaders bring people together instead of dividing them. They place the agendas of others ahead of their own.

Such leadership is not a natural way of leading, but it can be life changing.

When you serve others, you seek to bring them along with you on the leadership journey because you know you can’t help another person get to the top of the mountain without getting to the top of the mountain yourself.

High road leaders seek to be servants and not celebrities. They know when they serve others everybody wins. They recognize everyone is important to the success of an organization, and they treat everyone with that same respect.

The late Herb Kelleher, president of Southwest Airlines, was a perfect model of high road leadership.

He treated people like family. He said, “I’d rather have a company bound by love than a company bound by fear.” Southwest had 46 consecutive years of profitability to show for his leadership.

Herb learned from his mother that every person and every job is worth as much as any other person and any other job.

Herb deplored the class mentality. Years ago, one of his executive officers said, “Herb, it’s harder for me to get to see you than it is for a mechanic, a pilot, a flight attendant, or a reservation agent.” Half-jokingly, Herb said, “I can explain that to you very easily, they’re more important than you are!” (Southwest Airlines Employees, Customers Remember Founder Herb Kelleher-taken from the internet)

Those who worked for Herb were his priority. They were not perceived by him as another rung on the ladder, but as equals.

To me, “high road” leadership sounds a lot like servant leadership, the kind where the leader carries a towel and a basin and is always on the lookout for ways to serve others.

God is looking for towel and basin leaders, those who do not choose celebrity over service, and fame over faithfulness.

Herb Kelleher and other high road leaders aspire to live out the mission statement of Jesus as expressed in His words: “I have given you an example that you should do as I have done for you” (John 13:15).

May God help each of us be “high road” leaders today and every day.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: What I Learned from Jim Harbaugh about How to Attack the Day

Dear Friends,

Jim Harbaugh, coach of the Los Angeles Chargers, is one of my favorite football coaches. He is known for his inspirational quotes, as well as his story telling ability. This past Saturday in an interview with Marty and McGee, two of my favorite sportscasters who host the popular Marty and McGee show on Saturday mornings,’ shared a story that caught my attention.

They related how when Jim and his brother John, who is the head coach of the Baltimore Ravens, were little kids living in Iowa City, their dad would drop them off to school each morning.  

Jim relates that he and his brother were on their way to school sitting in the back seat of their Chevy Biscayne with no heater and on one the coldest of winter days. As he and his brother opened the door to get out of the car,  their dad yelled at the top of his voice, “Okay boys, grab your lunch boxes and go attack this day with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind.”

And that expression from the lips of their dad became a daily mantra for the boys as their dad would drop them off at school each morning.

That message gained a lot of traction in Jim’s life, and today he is well known for instilling the same kind of passion and enthusiasm in his  players while coaching at the University of Michigan and now with the Los Angles Chargers.

His dad’s words were good words for all of us to remember. What a difference it would make in our life if we took to heart the same challenge to “attack this day with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind.”

I will never forget him. His name was Jonathan Deeb, and he was a student at Calvary Christian School in Fort Lauderdale, FL. Most people never knew his name, but they could never forget his enthusiasm.

Exhibiting joyful enthusiasm, people would often chuckle as they watched him cartwheeling, jumping up and down, and wildly waving his orange flag, as he directed traffic onto the campus for one of the worship services at Calvary Chapel.

Jonathan was the epitome of enthusiasm because he was excited about what he was doing for the One he served. Some might classify Jonathan as being a little ‘far out,’ but you could never criticize him for his lack of enthusiasm. He was one of God’s great cheerleaders.

How’ is our enthusiasm level for Jesus?  Are we excited about our faith, or do we need a spiritual tune up? Has it been a little too long since we've had a vital quiet time? How's our prayer life?  How is our worship? Do we still feel the same excitement and expectancy we once felt when we first met the Lord and walked into His sanctuary? What about our spiritual fervor? Are we white hot or lukewarm? Do our spiritual batteries need a little recharging?

Enthusiasm comes from the words ‘en’ ‘and ‘theos’ which means “in God." If we are "in God," we ought to be enthusiastic. As I thought about this word, I was reminded of Romans 12:11 when Paul gives advice on how to be Christian cheerleaders. He writes, “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor (be aglow with the Spirit) serving the Lord.”

Years ago, in a church I served, there was a new member who had come to know Jesus and was on fire for Him. He was emotionally and physically expressive in worship, but at the same time he was sensitive enough to know that those around him might not possess his same enthusiasm. And so, during the singing of one of the worship songs, he turned to an older member in the church sitting next to him and asked, “Do you mind if I raise my hands as I worship?” To which the elder gentleman succinctly replied, “Yes, I do.” Unfortunately, my friend’s partner could have benefited from a large dose of  his enthusiasm.

 It has been said that enthusiasm “is faith set on fire.”

The apostle Paul exhorts the Colossian Church to be enthusiastic.   I sometimes close my letters by signing “Colossians 3:23” after my name as an encouragement to the reader: “Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not to men.”  

The writer of Ecclesiastes exhorts us to be enthusiastic: “Whatever, your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.”  Ecc. 9: 10.

How did the workers in Nehemiah’s time complete the wall around Jerusalem in just 52 days?  It was because “the people had a mind to work.” Nehemiah 4: 6. They were enthusiastic and full of passion as they worked to complete that wall.

Whatever you and I do today, let’s do it enthusiastically. Let’s never go half speed, so that no one can ever say we were guilty of sleepwalking through life.

May our faith never become stale and passive because we fail to remember the incredible things that God has done in our lives.

Jesus had some harsh words for the lukewarm crowd. He says because you are neither hot nor cold but lukewarm, I will spew (vomit) you out of my mouth. (Rev 3:16)

So, if  any of us need to fan the flames of our faith, let's get out the poker and stoke up some of those flickering coals that may be in danger of going out.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. “Don't ever let "your miracles become monuments."

Leadership Thought: What Dolphin Trainers Can Teach Us About Coaching and Raising Children

Dear Friends

A number of years ago, I coached basketball while serving as  athletic director at Calvary Christian Academy in Fort Lauderdale. Fl. After a successful season, I knew the following year would be particularly challenging because I was losing some of my best players to graduation.

Early in the preseason, I asked my assistant coach if he had any thoughts as we entered what I knew could be a difficult season. To this day, I still remember his words:  “Tom,” he said, “look for the little things to praise…and don’t worry about the scoreboard.”

I was thankful I had an assistant who always helped me to maintain a healthy coaching perspective.

During the first game of the new season, I kept the words of my friend in the back of my mind, and so after the game I asked our team ‘bus chauffeur’ and scorekeeper Jean, who also doubled as my wife, how she thought I did. I was happy to hear her critique. She said, “I thought you were more positive and more under control than normal in spite of a 30-point loss.”

Wow, a big loss on the court but a major victory on the bench.  

Those words from the lips of my coaching colleague still resonate in my mind today: “Look for the little things to praise and don’t look at the scoreboard.” Those words helped me make it through that very challenging season.

Reflecting on that season, I am reminded of the book, Positive Coaching by Jim Thompson that I read that season. The book so impressed me that as athletic director at the school, I ordered 60 copies, one for every coach and assistant coach of every sport we offered at Calvary Christian Academy.

Positive Coaching is not only a book about coaching; it is a book about life, and I told all our school coaches, my hope was that the principles communicated in this book would not only be lived out on the fields and floors of competition, but in their classrooms and in their homes as well.

In the book Thompson shares a valuable lesson on how our coaching style can positively impact our players’ success.

He tells of an experiment where a volunteer leaves the room and returns to try to complete an unknown task.  The participant must discover what the task is by the feedback given by those in the room. The person is told that when he/she does the wrong thing, they will be hit ‘gently’ on the head with a rolled-up piece of paper. However, when the person does something that moves them closer to accomplishing the task the hitting will stop. Rarely does the volunteer figure out the task and accomplish it. Often the mature adult gets so frustrated with being ‘whapped,’ that they can’t even complete the task. Occasionally the person will even take a whap back at other people out of sheer frustration.

Later the exercise is repeated with positive reinforcement. When a correct move is made, a friendly sounding bell tinkles. When the person is moving in the wrong direction, the tinkling stops. Each effort is timed.

You probably can guess the results. Invariably the positive approach works much more quickly (often as much as 10 times quicker).

Thompson says, “Punishment does carry with it some informational value, and it can stop a behavior, but it rarely can teach new ones. It takes positive reinforcement and recognition to get a child to try something new, even like fielding bad hops in practicing baseball without turning his head.”

Shortly after reading this experiment, I learned that dolphin trainers rely exclusively on positive reinforcement when training dolphins. Punishment simply doesn’t work with dolphins. They withdraw and refuse to perform. Kids, and yes, adults, are a lot like dolphins: “Positive” works better!

Thompson goes on to say, “Punishment leaves bad feelings that eats away at motivation. Excelling in sports requires emotional energy. When kids are punished, yelled at, or criticized, their emotional energy is used up being angry, feeling sorry for themselves, or thinking of reasons why their coach, teacher, or parent is wrong.

This experiment was a good reminder to me of how important encouragement is in changing behavior.

The apostle Paul exhorts us to always remember to “not let any unwholesome words come out our mouths except for those which would build others up (Ephesians 4:29).

These are good words that I hope we will always remember!

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: The Day I Cried in Another Man’s Arms.

Dear Friends,

I recently finished reading a biography of the famous baseball player Pete Rose. One of the things that struck me in reading about his life was his inability to express emotions. By his own admission he acknowledged that he was unable to cry, which for him was a sign of weakness.

When you read this book, you quickly understand why Pete had some of the issues he did; He lived for one thing and one thing only: to impress his dad through baseball. All his emotions were channeled into that endeavor.

I remember talking with a friend who shared a sad story of marital heartbreak through intermittent tears. The person kept apologizing for his emotions, but I assured him that I was very comfortable with his emotions and that there was no need to feel embarrassed. In fact, midway through our conversation, I even teared up as I listened to the recitation of his painful experience. Yes, there have been numerous times in my ministry that I have been overcome with emotion in the midst of a counseling appointment.

But Tom, aren’t you supposed to remain objective and not allow yourself to be drawn into the client’s emotions?  Now I admit I didn’t major in counseling, but to that kind of counseling approach I say hogwash. If you can’t feel the pain of the person you are counseling, I wonder how effective you could ever be.

A number of years ago, I clipped the following quote from a devotional magazine published by the Navigators called “Your Daily Walk.”  It asked, how many times could you name people who cried in the Bible? The devotion listed a number of occasions where bible characters shed tears:  Genesis 23: 2; 43: 30; 2 Samuel 12: 22; 2 kings 20: 3, Luke 19: 41. These were just a few of the 32 verses I counted where tears are mentioned. The devotional writer states, “Stoic insensitivity may be admired by the world, but the child of God should be no stranger to tears. If you have God’s heart for people, then it will break- repeatedly.

Jesus wept at the sight of lost men and women.

Paul shed tears over lost people; (Romans 9: 22-23,) and Jeremiah’s book, Lamentations, is a tear-stained diary of his efforts to reach lost people for God. Far from being a sign of weakness, I believe tears can be a sign of strength. The person of God who is seeking to minister to broken hearts will often do so with tears of tender compassion that will spring from a soft and tender heart. The person will pray, “Oh Lord, let my heart be broken by the things that break your heart.”

In retirement Thomas Jefferson founded the university the University of Virginia. Because Jefferson trusted that students would take their studies seriously, the code of discipline was lax. Unfortunately, his trust proved misplaced, and the behavior of some students led to a riot in which some professors who tried to restore order were attacked. The following day, a meeting was held between the university’s board and some of the defiant students.

Jefferson began by saying, “This is one of the most painful events of my life,”. and then suddenly overcome by emotion, he burst into tears.” When one of the University’s board members asked the rioters to come forward and give their names, nearly everyone did. Later, one of them said, “It was not Mr. Jefferson’s words, but his tears that caused us to come forward.

It was the first year of my ministry when I was called to the home of a Roman Catholic family living up the street from the church I was serving. His two-year-old son had just been struck by the blade of a lawnmower that had broken off after hitting a rock. The disengaged blade flew through the air, striking his son who died instantly from its impact. I don’t recall saying a word to him, but I do remember just holding him in my arms and weeping together as we tasted the salt in one another’s tears.

A few weeks later the man thanked me for the impact I had made on him, and embarrassed, I apologized telling him how uncomfortable I was that I couldn’t think of anything to say to him in that difficult time. He said, it wasn’t my words, which were few, that impacted him; it was my tears that communicated I cared and understood his pain.

That day my tears were one of my greatest sermons.

We must never apologize for our tears or ever try to hide the expression of our emotions. May we never forget, as pastor Chuck Swindoll states, “A teardrop on earth summons the king of Heaven. “Yes, sometimes tears are God’s way of clearing our vision, and in so doing, God helps us to see his grace made perfect, even in the midst of our weakness.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: A Leadership Assignment I Hope You Will Take

Dear Friends.

One of my greatest interests is the study of leadership, and so this morning, I wanted to share some of my favorite quotes on the subject.

If you would like to initiate some excellent discussion on the subject of leadership, I suggest you get some people together and ask them to pick their favorite two quotes from the list and then ask them why they chose them.

Having done this before, I can assure you that you will have an excellent time of discussion and while doing so you will learn a lot about the subject.

1. “If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.” 

2. “Why take a journey alone when you can take someone with you?”

3. “The law of sacrifice teaches us that if you want to go up, you have to give up.”

4. “People always move towards someone who increases them in value and away from anyone who decreases them in value.”

5. “He who is leading when no one is following is only taking a walk.”

6. “When you make a decision, do it while on the mountain and not in the valley. You can see things more clearly from the mountain.”

7. “The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects the wind to change. The leader adjusts his sails.”

8. “The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure.”

9. “Brains are like hearts. They go where they are appreciated.”

10. “The number one cause of dissatisfaction among employees is that their superiors fail to give them credit.”

11. “The best preparation for good work tomorrow is to do good work today.”

12. “People can succeed at almost anything for which they have enthusiasm.”

13. “Never work alone.  I do it, I do it and you watch; you do it, and I watch; You do it.”

14. “Risk is the steppingstone to success.”

15. “Everything of value is uphill.”

16. “If you are at the head of the class, you are in the wrong class”

17. And one of my favorites for Yankee fans from the mouth of the inimitable Yogi Berra, “You can observe a lot by just watching.”

I would love to hear your favorite leadership quote and why you chose it. You can pick from above or from your own list and let me know.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: Encouragement Through Tootsie Pops and Birthday Greetings

Dear Friends,

I believe encouragement is one of the greatest motivators a person can possess, and so I am consciously on the lookout for ways to encourage people.

Everyone needs encouragement; it is ‘oxygen to the soul’, and we can’t live very long without it.

Someone was once asked “How do you know if someone needs it. “Simple,” he said, “if they are breathing, they need it, and if they are not, don’t worry about it!"

Many years ago, while teaching and coaching at Calvary Christian Academy in Fort Lauderdale, Fl., I started delivering lollipops and handwritten greetings to each student on his or her birthday.  I would ask each student’s teacher to provide me with a two or three sentence capsule of something positive about the student who was celebrating a birthday. I would then incorporate that information into my birthday letter for the student to read.

On the morning of the student’s birthday, I would walk into the class and stand next to the birthday recipient as I delivered my birthday letter along with a Tootsie Pop. In that letter I would always include something positive like: “I  hear  that you are so loving to everyone in your class, and there is not a parent, teacher, or classmate that doesn’t agree that you are the nicest kid you could ever meet.”  

What student wouldn’t be encouraged to receive such a compliment, and for that matter, what adult wouldn’t be thrilled to read such words as well.

I can’t tell you what a thrill it was to go into the classroom  every day and deliver a Tootsie Pop along with my birthday note.  In presenting the birthday greeting, I would often read out loud what I had said about the student so all the students could hear those words of affirmation.  

After six years when the school had grown to over 1,000 students, I found it was taking me almost two hours a day just to write and deliver all those birthday greetings, so sadly I had to give up the tradition.

But in all my years of teaching, coaching and pastoring, I  have never done anything that  reaped greater rewards than this ministry. Even today I still hear from a student or parent who had saved those letters and wanted to tell me how much they meant to them.

And by the way, most of those students never figured out how I could know the information I had written about them. To them, I was the simply the  ‘Tootsie Pop pastor,’ who possessed the magical ability to know all about their lives. And what fun it was to play along with them while reminding them of my amazing clairvoyant powers.

I won’t go into the impetus for my commitment to letter writing, for it entails more than just birthday greetings. Suffice to say, its genesis was fashioned long ago in the handwritten notes I received from a coach, a pastor, a mom, and a congregation that helped change my life forever.

Pastor and writer Chuck Swindoll expresses it far better than I ever could in his devotional book Day by Day. In a message he simply titled ‘Handwriting’, he states, “There is nothing quite like the charm and personal touch conveyed by a handwritten note. Since our penmanship, like our fingerprint, is altogether unique, each curve of the letter or stroke of the pen bears its own originality. There is personality and warmth and, yes, special effort too; for, after all, it’s more efficient to click on the PC, bang out a few lines on the keyboard, and print it. But, occasionally, it’s nice to think some still care enough to throw efficiency to the winds and look you right in the eye with the harmonious movement of their thoughts and fingers.”

Chuck concludes his devotional with these words: “Let’s not allow the speed and efficiency of our high-tech society to crowd out the personal touch. The meaning and expression your fingers add to your words is worth all the effort, regardless of how poor your penmanship may be.”

I can honestly say that delivering lollipops and birthday greetings was one of the most valuable ministries I have ever undertaken, for what could be more valuable than helping to make someone feel loved and appreciated.

So my friends, would you get out that pen and that note paper, and begin writing. You’ll be glad you did, but your recipient will be even gladder.

Yours in faith,

Tom

Leadership Thought Did You Ever Use One of These to Share Your Faith?

Dear Friends,

I received an e-mail last week from one of my close friends, and I wanted to share part of it with you.

In closing my friend writes. “Patti and I went to a doctor’s appointment. The nurse that came in to do the preliminary blood pressure stuff didn’t seem to be in the best mood, so I asked her ‘if everything was OK.’ Without details, she said, ‘things were not going well at home.’”

“I pulled out a “Live Can Be Hard” tract and I told her that the solution to her problem could be found in the pamphlet. She thanked me and left the room. About seven or eight minutes later she came back in with tears and a smile and said, ‘We were angels sent by God to introduce her to Jesus.’ She prayed the prayer in the tract and accepted the Lord.”

My friend concludes, “Tom, without exaggeration, this type of encounter appears nearly weekly, simply because we have our spiritual radar up, and we look for opportunities. God orchestrates these encounters, and we just do our part to be a link in the chain.”

I have been with my friend Brian Rechten many times, and I can personally attest that he shares his faith on almost a daily basis and one of the ways he does it is through the passing out of tracts.

Brian has been so encouraged by the way people respond to this form of evangelism that he not only uses tracts regularly in his day-to-day conversations with people, but he now writes and produces his own tracts, and they are excellent in quality and in content.

Recently he sent me a number of professionally done tracts he has produced, and he is now making them available as an effective tool for evangelism.

Early on in my ministry I utilized tracts as a form of witnessing, and I know they can be a very valuable resource in sharing your faith, and yes, people today are still reached for Christ with these simple little evangelistic ‘tools.’

A gospel tract can clearly present the gospel in clear and concise ways, and it can be used to go places where we cannot go. And yes, as one proponent writes “a gospel tract never gets nervous or forgets what to say.”

A gospel tract can find its way into people’s homes we can’t reach. A tract doesn’t argue; it merely states the truth and calls the reader to repent and believe. It can be handed to anyone, at any time, at any place, always with a smile.

I was interested to learn that the great preacher and evangelist George Whitfield, who led the Great Awakening, was saved by a gospel tract. After reading it, he wrote: “God showed me I must be born again or be damned.”

The great missionary to China, Hudson Taylor, was also saved by reading a tract.

One of the greatest preachers ever was Charles Spurgeon, and he was a firm believer in using them. He writes, “When preaching and private talk are not available, you need to have a tract ready. A touching gospel track may be the seed of eternal life. Therefore, do not go out without your tracts.”

Before you diminish their value as old fashioned and not relevant in today’s sophisticated world, you might be interested to know that: “53% of all who come to Christ worldwide come thorough use of printed Gospel literature.” (The American Tract Society, “Handing Out Tracts: Scary, Yet Effective,” Steve Sanchez.

Spurgeon, along with the great evangelists Jonathan Edwards and John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, wrote and shared their own tracts.

Spurgeon exhorts all who seek to reach people for Christ with these words, “Let us save men by all means under heaven." (“The Lost Art of Handing Out Gospel Tracts," Katherine Pittman internet)

Whether you are a gospel sower (casting the seeds that open the doorway to one’s  later salvation), or you are the reaper, of the one who sowed the seeds, God is blessed, lives are changed, and one more person steps through the doorway to eternity.

I don’t know about you, but writing this devotional has motivated me to order a fresh new set of tracts, to add to my staple “Steps to Peace with God," by Billy Graham.

If you are interested in doing the same, please e-mail me, and I will share with you my friend Brian’s link.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. I would be interested in learning how receiving a tract might have impacted any of you receiving this Leadership Thought.

Leadership Thought: There Are  No Excuses for Not Sharing Your Faith

Dear Friends,

Augustine was right when he said, "Our hearts are restless until they find their rest in thee, O Lord." 

Pascal said it this way: There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man that cannot be satisfied by anything but God."

Suppose you go to the Ford dealership today and see the new Ford Explorers all lined up gleaming in the sun. You can open the door of one, take your seat behind the wheel, shift the gears, and pump the brake, but you won't go anywhere because there's a hole in the car that must be filled. It's called the ignition. Did the Ford dealership mean to put those cars out on the lot with holes in them? 

No, they simply want a relationship with you. The hole in the car keeps you from cruising away because they want you to come into their showroom and to sit across the table from them so they can draw up papers for you to sign. New Testament Application Bible, John Courson, p. 1568

Our God has created a hole in our hearts, and our life won't work the way it was intended to unless that hole is filled with Jesus. He wants a relationship with us. He wants to fill the void in our life with His love. 

One Sunday in church I had the joy and privilege of praying with a visitor who wanted to fill the hole in his heart.  He had recognized that there was something missing in his life, and he wanted to fill it, so he invited Jesus to come into his life and now his life has been changed forever.

As I prayed for him, I reminded him that what he had received was not meant to be kept to himself but to be shared with others.

The Apostle Peter exhorts us as followers of Christ,  "To be ready to give an answer when someone asks you about your hope. Give a kind and respectful answer and keep your conscience clear" (1 Peter 3:15, The Promise Bible).

Although my friend was only minutes into his new life in Christ, and he did not know a lot of scriptures, or possess any real experience in sharing his faith, he was now equipped to do so.

Like the blind man who met Jesus, and suddenly received more than just his sight, he too had a message to share with any doubters who might question his experience, "I 'too' was once was blind but now I see." 

I once was empty, lonely, guilty, addicted, selfish, but now I 'see.' 

I am changed; I'm a new and different person, "for the old man has passed away and the new has come" (2 Cor. 5:17).

We may feel inadequate when it comes to sharing our faith. We may not know a lot of scripture or possess a lot of witnessing experience, but the one thing we do have is a personal testimony of the difference Christ has made in our life.

A changed life is the greatest witnessing tool we could ever possess.

Each believer's testimony will be different for each one who accepts Jesus is different, but the message always remains the same: "I once was blind and now I see."

You may not be able to defend your salvation experience intellectually or express it theologically, but the changed life you now possess in Jesus cannot be argued or refuted.

You are changed, and you now have a wonderful story to tell of the One who transformed your life. It's called your personal testimony.

What I said to the person who just received Christ is what I would say to you. You are called to be a witness, and to share your faith with others, and the most important witnessing tool you possess is your testimony that points to the source of that change: the saving work of Jesus. 

One believer described evangelism in very simple terms: It's just "one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread," and anyone can share that story.

Don't ever think you are off the hook when it comes to sharing your faith with others. If you have met Jesus, and He has changed your life, you have a testimony, and if you have a testimony, you have a "reason," and yes, and an obligation "to share the hope that is within you."

The command to witness is given to all followers of Christ. In Acts 1:8 we read, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” This verse gives a command from the risen Lord to all his followers.

As John Stott argues, “We can no more restrict the command to witness than we can restrict the promise of the spirit.”

It is true that every Christian is called to be a gossiper of the gospel.

Unfortunately, it's sad but true that "today the biggest obstacle to evangelism is Christians who don't share the gospel." Albert Mohler. 

I urge each of us to avoid becoming a part of the silent majority when it comes to telling others about our Savior.

"Come and see" and then "go and tell" are gospel imperatives for every believer in Christ.

Your friend in faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: A Woman Named Joan, a Coaches' Clinic, and a Meal at Sonny's Barbecue

Dear Friends,

Her name was Joan, and I first met her a number of years ago when I and my assistant basketball coach were attending a high school basketball coaching clinic in Daytona Beach, Florida.

She was an 80-year-old waitress who worked at Sonny’s Barbecue, a restaurant staple in Florida.  She was  more than a little crotchety, but my assistant and I were determined to politely engage her, and so we decided to do everything we could to lift her spirits and brighten her day.

There was no question that we accomplished our goal, for she spent an inordinate amount of time talking with us and telling us all the ways we could get the best deal from the menu. And once we ordered, she proceeded to provide us non-stop service while offering us free drinks and free side items that we didn’t order, but which she thought we would enjoy.

The next year my assistant coach and I attended the same clinic, and we decided to go to the same restaurant to see if Joan was still working. When we walked in, I saw her standing at a nearby table, and I immediately asked the manager if we could have Joan as our waitress. From her expression, that may have been the first time in that restaurant’s history that she had ever had anyone ask for Joan to be their waitress.

For the next hour, we loved on Joan. We filled out a service card indicating what a great job she was doing, and how accommodating she was. We told her how pleasant she was, and how much we enjoyed having her as our waitress. We even called the manager over and made a point of telling her how much we liked Joan and what a great waitress she was.

The manager's eyes got as big as saucers, and it was all too obvious to us that she wasn’t sure whether we were serious or just pulling her leg.

All the while Joan’s face was beaming, and it was obvious she hadn’t had many customers like the two of us. 

By the time we walked out to pay the bill, there were several waitresses standing nearby who were gazing at Joan, who by this time was strutting around like some proud peacock as a result of all the attention she was receiving.

Now Joan was the same person who earlier had told us how she hated working there, how she couldn’t stand her boss, and how she was looking for ways to get fired. But now her countenance had changed, and she  was a different person, and it was clear that our kindness to her had changed her attitude and actions.

I share this story to point out that a little kindness can do a lot to lift someone’s spirit and make them feel special.

Joan felt special that night, and so did we, knowing that  we had brought some joy into her life.

The Apostle Paull tells us that “love is kind,” and hopefully Joan saw plenty of love from the two of us.

The best part of the story was that we even had a chance to share the gospel with her, and hopefully those words may have made a difference in her life, but even if they didn’t, I am sure she will never forget the kindness we showed her.  

After experiencing the love and kindness of Jesus at a community well, the Samaritan woman left her water pots behind and ran to the city to tell everyone about the person who had just changed her life.

Hopefully we left Joan a little different from the person she was when we first met her, and yet it only took a few kind words to bring about that change.

The next time you are out and meet someone who may be having a rough day, why not think as David did when he asked of those remaining in the House of Saul, “Is there not still someone… to whom I may show the kindness of God? (2  Samuel 9:3)

Yes, people may forget the words you say but they will never forget the way you made them feel.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S . “Practice kindness all day to everybody and you will realize you’re in heaven now.” Jack Kerouac

Leadership Thought: The Language the Deaf Can Hear and the Blind Can See

Dear Friends,

Last night at our Grief Share meeting, our leader commenced our meeting with a wonderful sharing question. She asked each of us to share a kindness that had made a difference in our life.

One of our members shared how for three months a friend had called every day to check up on her after her husband had died. As each of us shared personal examples of some kindness we had experienced, I was struck by how many of those examples were so simple and so small and easy to perform. Yes, it doesn’t take a lot of time or effort to perform an act of kindness that can touch another’s life.

It has been said that “kindness it the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see,” and I would add that everyone can feel.

If you add the letter ‘d’ to the word kin, you have the word kind. To treat someone kindly is to treat them as ‘kin. Kindness is the natural grace that flows from sharing a kinship with another.

 When Paul admonished the Ephesian church to “be kind to one another,” he was simply asking them to accept one another as kindred souls in Christ who makes us one with each other.

The great theologian, Augustine was won to Christ, not by solid theological arguments, but by the genuineness of his friend Ambrose. Of his influence, Augustine wrote, “I began to love him, not at first as a teacher of the truth, which I despaired of finding in Thy church, but as a fellow creature who was kind to me.”

“If patience is love waiting, then kindness is love acting,” Simple and easy to offer, kindness is one of the clearest expressions of love that one can offer.

Much of our Savior’s ministry was centered on showing kindness to other people, usually to those who might least expect or deserve it.

He has given us plenty of examples of kindness while encouraging us to do the same “to the least of these,” for he saw kindness as the highest brand of service we could offer him.

Paul tells us “Love is kind.” Kindness is simply “love in work clothes,” and everyone can perform it.

Tucked away in my file cabinet and dated 5/6/63’ are these words I scribbled on a three by five post card: “If I pass through this world, but once, and if there is any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do, let me do it now…… Let me not defer or neglect it- for I shall not pass this way again.”

I don’t remember where I was when I copied these words 61 years ago, but hopefully in these intervening years I have done my best to live them, and I hope you will too.

Yours faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: What Does Love Story Have to Do with Leadership?

Dear Friends,

In the 1970 blockbuster movie Love Story, a tear jerker that  happens to be one of my all-time favorite movies, there is a famous line spoken by Ali MacGraw  to her husband played by Ryan O’Neal, who when he is about to apologize for getting angry, she says, “Love  means never having to say I’m sorry.”

Now that may or may not be true in marriage- but if true, then I’ve been wrong a good many times more than I would like to admit for those words, “I’m sorry” have been a regular part of my vocabulary throughout those 53 years of my marriage to my wife Jean.

While I confess it is sometimes hard to express those words “I’m sorry,” they are much needed in our contentious and politically charged world of today where  so few who are so willing to admit being sorry for anything that is  said or done.

But if one truly wants to be an effective leader in today’s world, I can say unequivocally that you must learn how to utter those words, “I am sorry.”

I agree with Dale Carnegie who writes, “If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.”

Unfortunately, it is true that the words “I’m sorry,” are not often heard in today’s world, for they are too often perceived as a sign of weakness that could threaten your credibility as a leader.

But I would say just the opposite is true. Saying, “I am sorry,” are the very words that lend strength and credibility to one’s leadership.

The world is looking for authenticity in leadership, and when a leader steps up and willingly admits to his or her mistakes, people take notice, and they respect and appreciate  such honesty and vulnerability.

When you make a mistake and ignore it, it communicates to your people that you don’t think it was a big deal. However, the problem is that others don’t view it the same way, and they recognize it is a ‘big deal.’ By failing to admit your mistake and  then not apologizing for it, you exacerbate the issue by not only making one error but two and you make things even worse than they could be.

As someone wisely said, “When you mess up, fess up,” and that’s good advice. When you fail, it is important to not only admit you are sorry, (that is too general) but to actually be specific about what you are sorry for. What is it I did, that I am sorry for?

When you admit failure and say you are sorry, you become an authentic leader, and people are looking for that kind of leader in today’s world. People are not looking for perfect leaders but honest and vulnerable leaders who aren’t afraid to own up to their failures and who aren’t afraid to say, “I’m sorry,” “I blew it,” and “I’ll try and do better.

Failure may not hurt your image as a leader, but not admitting to your failure will. When you accept responsibility for what you did and own up to it, you will often regain the trust and respect of your people.

Proverbs 28:13 states a man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance.”

If you and I don’t learn and take responsibility for our failures, we will fail again because “the only real failure is the one from which we learn nothing.” John Powel

Yours faith and friendship,

Tom

Leadership Thought: The Power of an Unoffendable Heart

Dear Friends,

John O Leary shares a powerful lesson on forgiving love and radical reconciliation. I share it in his own words, and I hope it speaks to your heart like it did to mine.

“Forgiveness is not weak. It takes courage to face and overcome powerful emotions.” -Desmond Tutu

“Of course I will, Dad.”

These were the last words Dave Gibbons ever shared with his father. Given their past, the fact he spoke them at all was surprising. But even more extraordinary was what he was agreeing to do. Let me explain.

The idyllic childhood Dave had enjoyed ended abruptly as a freshman in high school. He came home from school to his mother outside the home, weeping. She angrily revealed to Dave that his dad was having an affair and their marriage was over.

Not believing her, Dave went inside and asked his dad if it was true. His dad looked him in the eyes, reassured him that mom was wrong, and that everything would be fine. Relieved, the boy hugged his dad.

Just a few days later, though, as Dave was cleaning his dad’s car, he found a note from someone named Carolyn professing her love to his dad. In reading that note, Dave realized his dad had lied to him, had hurt his mother and had ripped apart their family. The furious boy committed to never forgiving him. And for years, he passionately lived into that promise.

As a young man in college, Dave heard what he described as the unmistakable voice of God telling him it was time to forgive his dad, and to recognize the freedom found in living with an unoffendable heart. He repeatedly ignored the voice

The voice remained persistent though, and eventually, Dave surrendered to it, called his dad, and set up a time to visit. As Dave sat with his father and his new wife, Carolyn, he asked for forgiveness for treating them poorly for so many years. And he offered his forgiveness to each of them for mistakes they had made.

All three of them wept.

On that day, Dave didn’t feel like saying those words and his feelings about his dad and Carolyn didn’t immediately change, but the relationship once again had hope. No, it didn’t remove the pain of the past, but it shifted entirely their future.

Decades later, Dave’s father was diagnosed with leukemia. As the cancer progressed, and death approached, the two men had an intimate, final conversation.

As the two men sat on edge of a hospital bed, looking into one another’s eyes with love, Dad asked Dave if he might be willing to take care of Carolyn after he died.

Carolyn. The woman who had ripped apart his family, who had ended his idyllic childhood. There was a long pause, and then Dave responded,

“Of course I will Dad.”

The men looked into one another’s eyes for a bit longer. His dad nodded, smiled peacefully, shut his eyes. And passed away.

My friends, we live in a society that coaches, counsels and coaxes us, above all else, to pay attention to our feelings, to recognize them as truth, and to act on them accordingly.

Yet the story of Dave Gibbons shows a different, far less traveled path. Not one of following feelings, but of choosing love.

Not one that holds fast to every wrong done to us, but one that embraces the freedom found in living with an unoffendable heart.

It doesn’t excuse poor behavior; it just reminds us that love isn’t a feeling, it’s a choice.

And although the choices we make can’t ever change the past, it can bring peace in the present, hope for the future, and the potential for radical reconciliation in relationships.

Don’t believe me? Just ask Dave Gibbons.

Today is your day. Live Inspired.

Yours in faith and friendship,