Leadership Thought: Is Your Church Really a Friendly Church? 

Dear Friends,

Not everyone comes to church like a recent first-time visitor who visited our church. The greeter, recognizing a nervousness about him, did everything he could to make him feel comfortable. He introduced himself, told the visitor how glad he was that he had taken the time to visit, and then proceeded to walk him into the church while looking for someone else to introduce him to. The person happened to be our audio-visual director who was standing with her 92-year-old mother. The mother, sensing the visitor's high level of anxiety, simply put her hand on his back in an effort to calm and comfort him. With that loving touch, our visitor burst into tears and cried out, " I need Jesus." 

The greeter, who was still standing by, then introduced him to one of our pastors who prayed with him and then he walked him over and introduced him to one of our elders who invited him to sit with him during the service.

The young man related he had recently purchased a bible and had been reading through the New Testament. He had just read about Jesus being baptized by John and recognizing the word Baptist in our church name- we are the New Monmouth "Baptist" Church- he decided to visit and find out more about what it meant to be Baptist.

So much for the word 'Baptist' being a pejorative description that might frighten some  from  attending our church; instead, it turned out to be the very reason our friend walked through our doors.

The irony of this was he did so, not knowing we were a non-denominational church which had left the denomination over 30 years ago.

I shared this story to point out how important it is for church members to look for visitors and then go out of their way to make them feel comfortable. 

Long ago I remember reading that if someone new visits your church and leaves having been introduced to at least five people, there is a ninety percent chance they will return a second time to worship. 

I often tell people that “every member is a minister.” Ministry takes place from the pulpit to the pew, and from the pew to the pulpit, but it also takes place from the pew to the pew as members reach out and share the love of Christ with one another.

I always try to impress our church that body life (caring for one another) is the life of the body. A church is not a church where members don’t love and care for one another

Our first goal in communicating with guests (and by the way I never call them visitors) is to help them relax and feel comfortable. Sharing the love of Christ within the body is the responsibility of every member. 

I encourage people to pray before walking through the church doors-and part of that prayer should be "Lord help me be used to minister love to someone I will meet today. Ask the Lord to help overcome your shyness and step out in faith and find someone in the body you can care for and don’t leave the service until you do so.

If your church is not growing, maybe it is because you are not friendly enough

"Oh, but Tom, our church is a friendly church." Is it, or is it just friendly to people who have been attending for 15 years or more? What about the new person who visits? Will he/she feel it is friendly? Will they leave after having been introduced to at least five new people

When you meet and converse with someone new to the church don't leave them after talking with them. No, introduce them to someone else who will hopefully do the same by finding someone else to introduce them to.

In one church I know the pastor introduces the service with these words: "If this is your first time here, we're glad you're here. We want you to take a deep breath, sit back, relax, and enjoy the service."

In other services the pastor may ask the congregation to turn around and give someone a hug or a handshake. This hug or handshake may be the only physical touch they get all week, and we know that human beings need touch. Introducing yourself to one another provides a great way to help raise the comfort level for your guests.

Whether or not you wear an official greeter badge does not exempt you from finding someone who is present and taking the initiative to make them feel glad they came. Yes, you hold the key to making someone feel welcomed, valued, and accepted.

The next time you see someone new in church, walk up and introduce yourself and imagine that they have a sign hanging around their neck that says, "Please help me feel important."

Don't miss your Sunday ministry, it may be the most important ministry you'll ever have.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom

P.S. Pastor Rich Warren writes "A guest's first 12 minutes dramatically influences whether they're coming back or not. You never get a second chance to make a first impression."