Leadership Thought: How to Be the Kind of Leader People Love and Respect 

Dear Friends,

How do you become a leader that everyone loves and respects?

Today we are in desperate need of such leaders. I am not  talking about the kind of leader who seeks to win popularity contests, but the kind who earns your trust and respect on difficult ground. You may not always agree with them, but that never causes you to lose respect for them.

I long for leaders I can trust, and who will value, inspire, and empower me.

Maya Angelou said, "People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how they made you feel," and the kind of leader I long to follow is the one who makes me feel special.

At a recent bible study, I was asked how we as leaders can make visitors to our church feel special, and I responded that we need to remember four words: "I notice," and "you matter."

Those two expressions are critical to keep in mind when relating to people.

"I notice" communicates awareness. It demonstrates that the person you see is important to you, and that you are aware of them and their actions. 

"You matter" communicates you care about the person and that you value them. 

When we express the words "I notice" and "you matter" we acknowledge and affirm people's worth and value.

Leaders need to be on the lookout for ways to add value to others. We can do this by finding opportunities to  show appreciation. When I am with people, I am always looking for something noteworthy about them, some quality or action I can affirm, for I know how important it is for people to be reminded of their value and their worth.

I always try to remember and use people's names when I'm engaged in a conversation, for there are few words that are sweeter to hear than one's own name. 

When I finish talking with someone, my hope is that I will have discovered something unique about them that I can affirm as I close out the conversation.

In conversations I will frequently envision an imaginary sign hanging around one's neck that reads, "Please help me feel important."  I might also  place an imaginary10 on their forehead to remind me of how I want them to feel about themselves when our time together is completed.

I look for opportunities to express my appreciation of people, so I'm eager to catch them doing something worthy of recognition. When I witness such an action, I try to quickly express my appreciation for what I have observed.

Shortly before John Maxwell's father died, he offered this advice to his son. “If you want to be a successful leader you must value all people, believe in them, and unconditionally love them."

If you and I follow that same advice, we will be well on our way to being the kind of leader people will love and respect.

Yours in faith and friendship,

Tom