Dear Friends,
I love the Message Translation of James 1:19 which read, "Lead
with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger struggle along in the
rear."
When I think of the importance of listening, I am reminded of the
mother who came home after a long, hard day. Her little girl ran out of the
house to greet her. "Mommy, mommy, wait until I tell you what happened
today."
After listening to a few sentences, the mother responded by
indicating the rest of her story could wait as she needed to get the dinner
started. During the meal, the phone rang, then other family members stories
were longer and louder than the little girl's story. Once again, she tried to
get her mother’s attention after the kitchen was cleaned, and her brother's
homework questions were answered, but by then it was time for her to get ready
for bed.
The mother came to tuck in her little girl and quietly listened as
she prayed. As she bent down to tousle the little girl's curls, and
to kiss her soft cheek, the child looked up and asked, "Mommy, do you
really love me even if you don’t have time to listen to me?" (Stories
from the Heart, by Alice Grey)
One of the best ways we can show people that we care for them is
by listening to them. It is true as the late author and speaker, Bruce Larson
has said, "that one of the best ways to demonstrate God's love is to
listen to people." How true it is that listening is simply another
word for caring.
I don’t profess to be the greatest listener in the world. I try,
but there have been too many times in my life when I have been guilty of
allowing the busyness of my life to crowd out my ability to listen to another
with a caring heart. Someone facetiously described a good listener as "One
who can give you his full attention without hearing a word you say," and
sadly, I confess that I have the ability to do just that.
A while ago, I had an experience that reminded me again of the
importance of being a good listener, and how, by simply listening, one can heal
the hurts of a breaking heart.
While pastoring in another church, I received a call from the reception
area, and there was a young girl who needed to talk with someone. When I came
down and met the girl, I found her overcome with emotion. As we walked to my
office, tears were falling as she began unraveling her story. To make a long
story short, her life was collapsing all around her,
and she didn’t think there was anyone who cared.
We sat down in my office, and for the next 45 minutes, I listen to
her as she poured out her heart before me. I didn’t say much. I just listened
while asking an occasional question.
At the end of our time together, she got up and thanked me, and
then she said, "I really feel so much better now, and I’m so glad that I
had a chance to talk with you."
I only wish that every counseling appointment turned out like this
one. But what she was saying to me was that she was grateful that someone had
the time to listen to her. So many times, what people need most is
not the semblance of a sermon but simply the solace of
silence. Unfortunately, most of us are generally much better at
delivering sermons than silence.
Let me encourage you today to work extra hard to improve your
listening skills. Consciously try to give the person with whom you are talking
your fullest attention.
And remember that two of the most lasting gifts you can give to
anyone today is a listening ear and a caring heart. If you will yield both your
ears and your heart to Jesus, you will be amazed at what an
incredible counselor you will become.
Yours in faith and friendship,
Tom
P.S. “A good listener is not only popular everywhere but after a
while he knows something” Wilson Misner
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