Leadership Thought: The Day I Went to Church Four Times

Dear Friends,

I arrived home from Florida with Covid, so while quarantined  I had the spiritual luxury of watching four worship services. I viewed our own worship service online, while earlier tuning into the television services of  David Jeremiah, Charles Stanley and Stephen Furtick. 

Each one spoke on something I needed to hear, and while I hated to miss in person worship, God had other plans for me. He knew what I needed.

I was especially impacted by Stephen Furtick's message on the importance of "Covenant Keeping." Furtick is the pastor of Elevation Church in N.C. and a well-known teacher and song writer.

He spoke about the importance of honoring our covenant with God. A covenant is like a contract or a will. It is an established relationship where reciprocal promises are made and where consequences are established when conditions of the covenant go unmet. 

In the Old Testament when a covenant was made between two parties, it was a sacred commitment and expected to be honored by both parties.

God considers marriage to be a covenant relationship involving mutual commitment, loyalty and a sense of shared purposes.

When a man and woman, say, "I do," they are vowing to each other before the Lord that they will remain together until one or the other dies. The pastor proclaims, "What God has joined together, let no man separate." 

Today such covenants or promises are not always honored the way they should be or the way God meant them to be. Comfort and convenience have a way of easily undermining the sacred covenant or promises one makes to another.

Furtick then went on to tell a moving story about his upbringing, living as a child in a marriage relationship that presented some significant challenges for both him and his mom.

Furtick tells how December  2012 was the worst Christmas of his life because his dad was dying of ALS.  "I watched firsthand how his life slowly ebbed away at the expense of this dreaded disease."

"During that time his father had made several decisions that separated him from his family. When he started losing his functionality, he asked if he could move back home, so mom and I could be a part of caring for him. Unfortunately, that didn't work out."

"My mom and dad had a very complicated and strained relationship. They were good parents to me. I think they did the best they could, but I think she approached him a little bit too much like a renovation project, and she didn’t know he had some stuff 'under the tile.' 

"He had a very rough upbringing and that can be very difficult and sometimes such a living relationship just doesn’t work out. I can remember when I was 10 or 11 and my mom and dad sat me down and said we’ve got bad news for you, and I remember my mom was crying. She said we’ve been married for many years and your dad, and I have done the best we can, and I knew where she was going. They were going to spit up, and I remember crying out, no you’re not."  

"I wouldn’t say they mom and dad had the most enjoyable marriage, and there were moments you know like in every marriage when things are very difficult." 

"In December when dad had moved home, he threatened my mother- I think it was a combination of the pain and the medication he was taking which caused him to lose his mind. He just was not himself, but when he threatened my mom to the point where I had to go in and confront him, and the two had to be separated, I knew he could no longer live with us in Charlotte, and we asked him to leave, and he went off and left on his own."

"I was paying financially for him to live in an assisted-living facility, about three or four hours away from my family, which was sad because my dad, who was 60,  was too young to be in that facility of 80 plus residents. I would feel so bad for him, but over time I recognized I couldn’t provide for his physical or emotional needs. Sometimes you just can't do it, no matter how hard you try." 

"It came to a point overtime where my dad's health so deteriorated that I could no longer provide for him. I won’t tell you all the details for some are too personal for me to share, but it was painful for me to recognize I could no longer address my dad's deteriorating situation."

"My mom wrote me a letter, and I asked her if I could share it with you this morning to show you how God can use something evil for something  good."

"She wrote it to me six months before my dad would die. She didn’t know he would die, but this is what she wrote."

“I spent three nights at the assistant living facility to be with your dad to see where the relationship might be going."

"While there, I realized that in spite of everything that had happened, I needed to take care of your dad as long as I’m able, whether it’s one month, one year or more.'"

"I was able to see that everyone at the home has dementia, and I can't leave him knowing  that he has no one to talk with. How hard that must be for him? How can I leave him there with no one to talk to and with only a brief time in which he may have the ability to speak? He’s alone after 7 PM with no one, but himself.'"

"The fact that he has brought  much of this on himself, doesn’t change the fact that he’s facing a terrifying death process and unless God decides differently, I believe it is as big of a sin on my part for me to leave him there as it was for him to speak the evil words he spoke to the many people trying to help him the most.'"

"I don’t in any fashion, or any way, want to minimize the pain he has inflicted on so many people, especially you. I hate it, and I always will  ask myself over and over what would Poppi do?'"

"She was now speaking about her own father, who cared for his wife through 14 years of Alzheimer’s, because it was his decision to  honor his marriage covenant."

"Mom continued," 'How you honor your covenant today will affect the future generation. I’ve asked myself over and over again what I should do, but I know your grandfather would agree that I should honor my covenant. It is what he did, and it is what I know I need to do now.' 

'Your dad‘s behavior was repulsive but seeing him like he is now I believe I should take him home with me and care for him as long as I can physically do so."

"I don’t know what it’s like to lose your legs, arms, hands. Even worse, what it’s like to lose your ability to eat and speak. Whether he is a good or a bad dad, it’s gut wrenching. I don’t know what it’s like to lose a husband, but I do recognize what it's like to be kind, and I know that I have to let him come home and care for him the best I can. I believe that love does bear all things.'"

'I’m not physically fearful of your dad any longer, so I believe God is telling me to let him out of solitary as he sits on death row. It will be harder than hard, but I know I will receive mercy. I have to be merciful in this season of my life and when the end comes for your dad and when it comes for me, I want to know that I was the wife God called me to me and that he well deserved. I want to finish strong.'"

"All my heart"

Mom

"Six months later my dad breathed his last death breath. We were all there because a woman kept her covenant." 

These were the closing words of Furtick's message which I transcribed from the television service, and as he closed the service, he exhorted those in attendance to always choose covenant over convenience.

God is a covenant keeping God, and He was faithful in keeping His covenant with us, and He desires the same from us.

May you and I never forget this lesson whenever we find ourselves tempted to choose comfort and convenience at the expense of a covenant keeping commitment. 

Yours in faith and friendship.

Tom