Dear Friends,
A few weeks
ago, Lee Rankin, a friend of mine who I had met in a former church and who is
now living in Virginia with his wife Peg, a noted Christian author, sent me a u
tube message given at a college graduation.
It was
one of the most inspiring graduation messages I had ever heard, and this
morning I decided to share it with you. I think you will agree that the lessons
Rick Rigsby learned from his father, a third-grade dropout, are
unforgettable.
If you
don't have time to listen to this ten-minute message, I encourage you to save it
and listen to it at another time. You won't be disappointed.
Yours
in faith and friendship,
Tom
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=II0PqF-S-CY
I did my best to transcribe the message
below, but it loses much of it impact when it is read and not heard.
Transcribed
Message
I want
you to meet the best person I have ever met in my life. A 3rd grade dropout.
Why is this in dropout in the same sentence may seem Oxy Moronic, like jumbo
shrimp, or like a fun run. Ain't nothing fun about it. Like Microsoft works.
Y'all don't hear me. I used to say I don't like country music, but I've
lived in Texas so long I love country music now. I hunt. I fish. I
wear cowboy boots and cowboy hats and I say y'all. I'm a black neck, redneck.
Do you
hear what I'm saying to you? It's no longer oxymoronic for me to say country
music. And it's not Oxymoronic for me to say 3rd grade dropout for that 3rd
grade dropout was the wisest person I ever met in my life. He taught me to
combine knowledge and wisdom to make an impact. He was my father, a simple
cook.
Why
is this man the wisest man I've ever met in my life? Just a simple cook, he
left school in the 3rd grade to help on the family farm. But just because he
left school doesn't mean he lost his education. Mark Twain once said,
“I've never allowed my schooling to get in the way of my education.” My father
taught himself how to read, taught himself how to write, decided in the midst
of Jim Crowism as America was breathing the last gasp of the Civil War.
My
father decided he was going to stand and be a man. Not a black man, not a brown
man, not a white man, but a man. He's literally challenged himself to be the
best that he could every day of his life.
I have 4
degrees. My brother is a judge. We're not the smartest ones in our family. It's
a 3rd grade drop out. It's my Daddy, who was quoting Michelangelo saying to us,
“Boys, I won't have a problem if you aim high and miss, but I'm going to have a
real issue if you aim low and hit.
I
learned from a country father who quoted Henry Ford saying, " If you think
you can or if you think you can't, you're right. I learned that from a 3rd
grade father simple lessons like these "Son you need to be an hour
early than a minute late.”
We
never knew what time it was in my house because the clocks were always set
ahead. My father left the house at 3:45 in the morning. One day mom asked him
why and he said, "Maybe one of my boys will catch me in the act of
excellence.
I want to
share two things with you. Aristotle said. “You are what you repeatedly do
Therefore excellence ought to be a habit, not an act.” Don't ever forget
that. I know you're tough, but always remember to be kind. Always. Don't ever
forget that. Never embarrass Mama for, if Mommy ain't happy, ain't nobody
happy. If Daddy ain't happy, don't nobody care.
I learned
from a cook over there in the galley who said,” Son, make sure your servant’s
towel is bigger than your ego.” Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of
stupidity.” You all might have a relative in mind you may want to send that to?
Let me say it again. “Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of
stupidity.”
“Pride is
the burden of a foolish person,” said. John Wooden, coach of basketball at U.
C. L. A. He said his calling was to impact people. And with all those
national championships, guess what he was found doing in the middle of the
week-going into the cupboard, grabbing the broom and sweeping his own gym
floor. You want to make an impact on others every day of your life? You find
your broom. You grow your influence.
Final.
lesson. Son, you're going to do a job. Do it right. Don’t ever be average.
I stand here before you, and tell myself, every single day I
shoot for the stars seeking to be best that I can be. Good isn't good enough.
If you can do better than better isn't good enough if it can be the best.
Let me
close with a very personal story that I think will bring all this into focus.
Wisdom will come to you in the unlikeliest resources. A lot of times in failure
when you hit rock bottom, remember this while you're struggling that rock
bottom can also be a great foundation on which to build on and grow. I'm not
worried that you will be successful. I'm worried that you won't fail from time
to time. The person that gets up off the canvas and keeps growing is the person
that will continue to grow their influence.
Back in
the 70s I met one of the finest women I ever met in my life. Back in my day we
would call her a brick ......house. This woman was the finest woman I'd
ever seen in my life. There's one little problem back in those day,
ladies didn't like big old football linemen- the movie The Blind Side hadn't
come out. They liked quarterbacks and running backs and I go to this dance, and
I find out her name is Trina William. And we were all dancing, and I decided in
the middle of dancing that I would ask her for a phone number.
Trina was the only woman in college who gave me her real telephone
number. The next day we walked to Baskin Robbins ice cream parlor. My friends
couldn't believe it. This was 40 years ago, and my friend I still can't
believe it. We go on a second date and a third date and a fourth date. We drive
from Chico to Vallejo so that she can meet my parents. My father meets her. My
daddy, my hero meets her, pulls me to the side and says, is she psycho? But
anyway, we go. together for a year, two years, three years. four years by now.
Trina's a senior in college. I'm still a freshman, but I'm working some things
out. I'm so glad I graduated in 4 terms. Reagan, Nixon, Carter Kennedy.
So
now it's time to propose. I talked to her girlfriends and it's California. It's
in the 70s, so they told me it has to be outside. I have to have a candle and
have to have, you know, some chocolate. Listen, I'm from the hood. I had a
bottle of Broom's farm wine. That's what I had. She said yes. That was the key.
I married the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. And even before the
wedding starts, you hear this? How in the world? And it was coming from my side
of the family.
We get
married. We have a few children. Our lives are great. One day, Trina finds a
lump in her left breast. Breast cancer. Six years after that diagnosis, me and
my two little boys walked up to Mommy's casket. And for two years my heart
didn't beat. If it wasn't for my faith in God, I wouldn't be standing here
today. If it wasn't for those two little boys, there'd have been no reason for
me to go on. I was completely lost. That was rock bottom. You know what
sustained me? The wisdom of a 3rd grade dropout. The wisdom of a simple cook.
We're at the casket. I've never seen my dad crying. But this time I saw my dad
cry. That was his daughter. Trina was his daughter, not his daughter-in-law.
And I'm right behind my father about to see her for the last time on this
earth. And my father shared three words with me to change my life right there
at the casket. It would be the last lesson he would ever teach me. He said,
“Son, just stand. You just keep standing. No matter how rough the sea is, you
keep standing. And I'm not talking about just water. You keep standing no
matter what. You don't give up.”
And
as clearly as I'm talking to you today, these were some of my mom’s last
words to me. She looked me in the eye. and she said, “it doesn't matter to me
any longer how long I live. What matters to me most is how I live. “
I shall
ask one question, a question that I was asked all my life by a 3rd grade
dropout. "How you living?"
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