Leadership Thought: Dealing with the Pain of Loss During the Christmas Season

Dear Friend, 

I am sitting here at my desk this morning reflecting on what I might write for today's Leadership Thought. I confess that Christmas and other holidays are hard for me as these special days are generally a time when I am with my family, and there will always be that empty chair around the dinner table. 

It has been my third Christmas without Jean, and as I write I confess the thought of her not being with us on Christmas morning fills my heart with sadness. 

They say each year gets a little easier, but those who have lost loved ones know that this is not always the case. Sadness is often the uninvited guest who shows up unexpectedly as families gather to celebrate this special day.

One of the best antidotes for addressing the pain of one's sadness is forgetting oneself and serving and caring for others. Knowing this, I decided to spend  time making phone calls to some of my friends who had recently lost loved ones and who would be facing their first Christmas with that dreaded empty chair.

Noted pastor and author Chuck Swindoll understands the value of serving others. He invites us to be to be daily "gift givers" as we prepare to celebrate Christmas, and he lists some special gifts we can offer to others in an  article  titled "The Gift That Keeps on Giving."

·        Seek out a forgotten friend. ·        Dismiss suspicion. ·        Hug someone tightly and whisper, "I love you." ·        Forgive an enemy. ·        Be gentle and patient with an angry person. ·        Express appreciation. ·        Gladden the heart of a child. ·        Make or bake something for someone else. Anonymously. ·        Listen. ·        Speak kindly to a stranger. ·        Enter another's sorrow. ·        Smile. Laugh a little. Laugh a little more. ·        Lessen your demands on others. ·        Apologize if you were wrong. ·        Talk together with the television off. ·        Do the dishes for the family. ·        Give a soft answer even though you feel strongly. ·        Encourage an older person. ·        Point out one thing you appreciate about someone. ·        Offer to babysit for a weary mother. This is how God loved the world: He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 Let's make Christmas one long, extended gift of ourselves to others-just like God's great gift of love to us- unselfishly and without announcement, obligation, or reservation, or hesitation. Now that's what I call Merry Christmas! Yours in faith and friendship, Tom