Dear Friends,
As a former high school teacher and coach. I have always been
indebted to the legendary basketball coach John Wooden who taught me
a very valuable teaching principle: “You haven’t taught until they have
learned.”
This principle was one of the cornerstones of Coach Wooden's life.
He was careful never to criticize a player for something they did or failed to
do. Instead, he would accept responsibility for his team or his players’
failures, believing it was his fault for not adequately teaching them what they
should have
done.
Coach Wooden believed that when you blame others you prevent
yourself from being able to do proper self-evaluation, which is critical to
self-improvement. The leader who doesn't blame others has his or her office in
the solutions department, not the excuses department.
Everyone would love to play or work for a coach or a leader who
lived out this philosophy.
King David once found himself the victim of the blame game. The
Amalekite’s had made a raid on the town of Ziklag, and they had carried off the
women and children and everyone else in the area. David's wives Ahinoam and
Abigail were among those captured. His men were bitter over what had happened,
and they began blaming David, even talking of stoning him.
David's men looked for the easy way out. Let's play the blame game
and get rid of David. But David isn't into making excuses or finding a
scapegoat. He doesn't point fingers or blame anyone for his army’s predicament.
He finds his strength in the Lord for he possessed the wisdom to know that when
you face a problem, it’s useless to look for someone else to blame. Instead, he
focuses on the solution, and he knows the source of that solution is God.
And so, he turns to God for advice. He asks the priest Abiathar to
bring the ephod, and then he asks the Lord what he should do. The Lord provides
the answer. “Go after them.” He and his men do, and the result is one of
Israel’s greatest victories. You can read about it in 1 Samuel, chapter 30.
I have a quote in my files, and I'm not sure of the source, but I
think it is worth sharing.
“Blame never
affirms, it assaults.
Blame never
restores, it wounds.
Blame never
solves, it complicates.
Blame never
unites, it separates.
Blame never
smiles, it frowns.
Blame never
forgives, it rejects.
Blame
never forgets, it remembers.
Blame
never builds, it destroys.”
One of the most innovative psychologists in this half of the 20th
century, said he considers only one kind of counselee relatively hopeless: that
person who blames other people for his or her problems. “If you can own the
‘mess you are in,’ there is hope for you and help available. But as long as you
blame others, you will be a victim for the rest of your life.”
I will never forget the wisdom of Don Shula, the legendary Miami
Dolphin coach who reminds us, “When people are lame, they love to blame.”
Yours in faith and friendship,
Tom
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