Dear Friends,
“Tact and truth are two concepts that rarely mix; However, when
they do, one knows that he is in the presence of leadership greatness.”
These words captured my attention this morning as I was reflecting
on the difficulty of balancing truth and tact. They were penned by Orrin
Woodward in an article he titled “Truth and Tact: The Art of Loving People and
Truth.” In his article he quotes the 19th century writer, J. R
Miller who writes, “Evil is wrought by lack of thought-as well as lack of
heart.”
I will never forget a note that was left on the windshield of my
car a number of years ago. I was in a hurry to pick up a church van, and
because I was late, I left my car in the closest space to where the van was to
be picked up. A few hours later when I returned the van to the church parking
lot, I was surprised to discover a note that had been left on my windshield. It
read, “If you're going to park illegally in a handicap space, please use only
one, (underlined five times), not 3 spaces! And then what really caught my
attention were the final words. “God bless you.”
I know a lot of people who deliver the truth like a 10-ton truck.
You best get out of their way when they have something to say for fear that they
will steamroll right over you.
But this brother had a wonderful handle on the skill of
communication. He had beautifully mixed together truth and tact. The message
was clear, and I received it, and I felt sorry that I had unintentionally
created potential problems for others who might wished to have parked in one of
the three spaces I occupied. However, he camouflaged the truth of his message
with such grace filled tact that I had to laugh when I read his words. “God
bless you,” were the honey that helped the medicine go down. I wish I could
communicate like him.
Someone said, “Tact is the art of making a point without making an
enemy,” and my undiscovered security friend had learned that lesson well. Chuck
Swindoll eloquently writes, “Tact graces life like fragrance graces a rose. One
whiff erases any memory of the thorns.”
Paul exhorts us to let” our speech always be grace filled,
seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one”
(Colossians 4:6).
We all know how easy it is to win an argument and lose a friend in
the process. There is a time for truth, but it must be delivered gently and
with sensitivity lest it not be heard. Solomon writes, “The tongue of the wise
brings healing, (Prov 12:18), and “a man has joy in an apt answer and how
delightful is a timely word.” (Prov. 15:23).
Today and every day, let's remember that a message delivered
gently and sensitively, and yet truthfully, is like the fragrance of a rose and
can erase any memory of the thorns.”
I close with the words from J. R Miller who I mentioned above, who
wisely writes “There is no better way to acquire this wonder working tact- then
by becoming filled with the spirit of Christ. Warm love in the heart for all
men, unselfish, thoughtful, kind- will always find some beautiful way to
perform its beneficent ministries.”
Yours in faith and friendship,
Tom
PS. For anyone who would like to read more about the importance of
balancing truth and tact, I encourage you to google “Truth and Tact the
Art of Loving People and Truth by Orrin Woodward.” His message includes the
excellent article on the same subject by J. R. Miller.
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