Dear Friends,
The other day I was talking with a friend in the church
about what she was going to do for Thanksgiving. She was struggling with
whether to invite guests to her family table or just spend it alone with her
family.
This person is a giver, always seeking ways to bless and
serve others, but she found herself tired and exhausted fulfilling the
responsibilities of a demanding job while also meeting the needs of her large
family.
Part of her was feeling guilty about not reaching out and
inviting someone to her family table who might be alone at Thanksgiving while
the other part of her was screaming, "You are exhausted, and you need time
for yourself and your family." and she was struggling with what to
do.
Have you ever felt a similar stress? It's the battle of
serving self-versus the battle of serving others and struggling with the guilt
of putting your own needs before the needs of others.
Just that morning I had read a wonderful article that I
thought might be helpful to her, and maybe to those of who might be
experiencing a similar battle. I hope it helped her and that it might help you
as well.
It is by Steve Shenbaum, and it's called "Leading
Ourselves with Compassion."
A message from Steve...
"Leading with compassion… has a nice ring to
it.
Leading with compassion… is a noble and worthy goal
for all of us to strive to achieve.
Leading with compassion… also happens to be one of our
Game On signature programs.
With all that leading with compassion said, and before
it’s all done, let’s put first things first. Before we try to lead our staff,
move our students, serve our teams, impact our audiences - before we lead
others with compassion - let’s start that journey and put our oxygen mask on
first by… leading ourselves with compassion.
Finding that extra time and space for “ourselves” is
for all of us, with a special nod to those frontliners, caretakers, caregivers,
service-oriented, selfless volunteers, and all the heart-centered, servant
leaders geared and gifted to always put others first. For all of you – and I do
not put myself in the same category as you - I honor you, appreciate you,
celebrate you, and I encourage you to put yourself first.
It's easier said than done, but before we all become
undone, here’s three questions for us all to honestly and vulnerably consider:
On our imperfect journey as leaders, coaches,
teachers, presenters, are you leading yourself with the same encouragement you
offer others?
Are you granting yourself the same grace you give to
others?
Are you caring for yourself with the same compassion
you commit to others?
As I metaphorically go out on a limb here - and
literally go out sharing the Game On message, hearing the word compassion at
every conference I attend - I’m reminded how important it is for those of you
naturally wired to lead with compassion to also make sure you spend some time
being selfish. That’s right… selfish. I need you, we need you, your staff,
students, team, audience, community needs you to give yourself encouragement
and grant yourself grace, so you can then continue to lead others with
compassion.
Here's to all the leaders, teachers, coaches,
presenters who have shown compassion when we so desperately needed it. Thank
you for speaking life into others so well, encouraging others so well, and
giving of yourselves so well. For that, with that, and because of that, you
deserve the same level of compassion, commitment, and care you give to
others.
Leading with compassion has a nice ring to it, it’s a
noble and worthy goal, and, as I mentioned earlier, happens to be one of our
Game On signature programs. But the ring, the goal, and programs all fall flat
if we don’t commit to some practical, reasonable, achievable techniques, and
add that extra time and space for ourselves.
Let’s lift the words off the page, put these noble and
worthy goals into action, practice what we teach, and put first things first
by… leading ourselves with compassion."
Hoping Steve's message might be of some help to you, I am.
Yours in faith and friendship
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